CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CLOVER
Later the following day Blaze was given the okay to leave the hospital. The doctor suggested that he stay another day or two, but Blaze would have none of it. He was ready to get out of there.
Cash and I went inside to get him while Daire waited in the car. With every step I took, I felt the bruises on my inner thighs from Daire pounding me in the cemetery. A bruise in the shape of his teeth marked the side of my neck. I did my best to hide it with a scarf so nobody would look twice.
When we entered Blaze’s room, he argued with a nurse who asked him if he was sure about leaving.
“I need to get out of here. I want to be in my own house in my own bed.” Blaze’s tone was a little snappy. Taking a deep breath, he spoke in a gentler manner. “I appreciate your concern. I just can’t sit here anymore.”
The nurse patted him on the shoulder. “I understand that, dear. Just doing my job. Make sure you follow the doctor’s orders and take your meds as prescribed.”
She left the room, smiling at Cash and me on her way out. Seeing Blaze in the light of day hit hard. The purple and black bruises covering his face seemed more pronounced. The blood splashed across the white of his left eye from broken blood vessels was bright crimson, drawing my gaze.
He sat awkwardly on the side of the bed. “Can you help me get dressed, Cash? I’m not wearing this hospital garb out of here.”
“Yeah, no problem. I brought you some clean clothes.” Cash held up a backpack filled with things.
I stood off to one side while Cash helped Blaze into a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. He was in too much pain to even put on his own socks and shoes. No wonder the doctors and nurses thought he should stay longer.
There was a pronounced limp when Blaze stood up and tried to walk. My heart squeezed at the sight of him so badly beaten. Brady Rollins couldn’t get away with this. That man deserved to die. More importantly, he deserved to suffer first.
Blaze leaned heavily on Cash who helped shoulder his weight. I stood on his other side, wishing I could do more to help. Blaze grabbed my hand, holding tight as we made our way down the hall to the elevator.
“You sure brighten up a bleak day, Rainbow. I missed you.”
I glanced up at Blaze, finding it hard to look at his battered face. Not because it was so bad but because of the pain that crushed my chest every time. Brady had wanted me. This happened to Blaze because he’d refused to give me up. How would I ever repay that?
“I’m so glad you’re coming home,” I said when we were closed in the elevator. “It hasn’t been the same there without you.”
“Do you need anything before we get home?” Cash asked, looking Blaze over, his brow creased in unspoken concern.
“I’ve got a prescription for some painkillers to fill.” Fumbling the paper from his pocket, Blaze handed it to Cash. “Maybe you can run into the pharmacy for me. I’d kill for a fat joint right now too.”
“No worries, bro. We’ll get you taken care of.” Cash patted Blaze’s back, apologizing when Blaze made a pained sound.
Downstairs Daire waited with the car in the pickup zone so Blaze didn’t have to walk far. He got out to help Cash get him into the front passenger seat. There was much groaning and swearing from Blaze as he folded himself into the car.
We made a stop at the pharmacy for pain pills and the dispensary for marijuana. The moment Blaze had the pills, he popped one in his mouth. Resting his head on the seat, he stared out the window until we got back to the house.
“Fuck. Now I have to move again. All right, let’s get this over with.” Struggling out of the car, Blaze let Daire and Cash help him up the front walk and into the house.
It took several minutes to get him upstairs to his bedroom. Stiff and sore, Blaze had to move slowly, taking every step with care. Seeing him like this killed me.
I ran ahead to pull back the blankets and fluff the pillows on his bed. Blaze let out a stream of obscenities as the other two helped him into the bed. Finally, he managed to lie back and get comfortable.
“God, this fucking sucks,” Blaze groaned. “At this rate, I won’t even be able to take a shit without help.”
Cash and Daire exchanged a look before they both pointed a finger at each other. “I’ll help him onto the toilet,” Daire said. “You can wipe his ass.”
“Fuck that,” Cash fired back. “You get the first wipe.”
“Real helpful, dicks.” Blaze winced in pain as he tried to adjust the pillow beneath his head. “Can someone get me something decent to eat? Hospital food sucks my ass.”
“No problem. What do you want?” Cash pulled out his phone to place a food order.
Needing to feel helpful, I shook my head, pushing Cash’s phone back toward his pocket. “I’ll cook something. We got a grocery delivery recently. There’s actual food in the house. Want anything in particular?”
Blaze’s small smile was everything to me right then. “Surprise me. I’m sure I’ll love anything you make.”
Leaving him with his friends, I hurried down the stairs and got busy making parmesan chicken with garlic mashed potatoes and steamed veggies. As I went through the motions of cooking, I found myself trying not to cry.
We got Blaze back. He was alive. There was no reason for tears. And yet, I kept thinking about how close we came to losing him. How much suffering had been inflicted upon him. It was all so overwhelming.
I wiped away my tears before they fell into the potatoes. Maybe some tea would help. I turned to fill the kettle with water, finding Cash standing on the other side of the island.
“I came to get Blaze some water.” He rounded the island, coming to stand in front of me. “Are you okay, Sunshine?”
I nodded, doing my best to meet his inquisitive gaze. “I’m fine. Just a little emotional overload. It’s been a hard week.”
Cash pulled me against his large body, enveloping me in his muscular arms. “I know. I’m sorry we dragged you into this shit with Brady. You deserve better.”
“It’s too late now.” I sniffed, pulling back to look up into his captivating blue eyes. “You guys wanted to keep me, and I don’t see that changing any time soon.”
“No,” Cash agreed. “I don’t either. Do you want it to change?”
I didn’t know what I wanted anymore. Sometimes I felt like the Angels had turned my life upside down. Other times it felt like they’d given me so much that I’d been missing.
There was no denying or forgetting that I hadn’t asked for any of this. The Angels had forced themselves on me. Cash had basically admitted that they had no plan to change that. They weren’t good guys. Still, I couldn’t convince myself to hate them. Not really. Not anymore. They’d really done a number on me.
Turning back to the kettle, I got busy fixing tea. “Honestly, Cash, I have no damn idea. My head is a mess these days.”
Cash filled a glass with water, hesitating on his way out of the kitchen. “I know this might not mean shit to you, Clover, but you’re good for us. You make us better.”
He left the room before I could respond, not that I knew what to say. After making a mug of chamomile tea for both Blaze and myself, I fixed him a plate of food and took it upstairs. His bedroom was filled with a cloud of weed smoke. Cash sat on the end of the bed playing a video game on the TV while Daire sprawled on the bed next to Blaze sharing a joint.
At my arrival, Cash turned off the game, motioning for Daire to follow him. I didn’t expect the two of them to leave me alone with Blaze. It was nice though to have this time. I hadn’t been alone with him in weeks. Since before I sold them out to the Gods. That felt like eons ago.
I set the tray of dishes I carried on the dresser. Then I placed a mug of tea on the bedside table next to Blaze before arranging the plate of food on his lap.
“I hope this is okay. Let me know if you need anything else.” I sat carefully on the edge of the bed beside him.
The way his tousled hair flopped onto his forehead brought a smile to my face. Blaze had this way of being totally endearing without even trying. Even when he was being a threatening asshole. Although I didn’t seen him doing that any time soon.
He dug into the food, taking a bite of chicken. Closing his eyes as he savored the taste, he said, “Goddamn this is good, Clover. The only thing I’d rather eat right now is your pussy.”
“Blaze!” Caught off guard by his bold remark, I burst into laughter.
“What?” His eyes opened and he hit me with a flirtatious grin. “It’s true. Getting my ass beat for days didn’t affect my desire to taste that sweetness between your legs. Maybe you can ride my face for dessert.”
“I’m glad your sexual appetite hasn’t been ruined, but I think it might be too soon for that kind of thing. You need to heal.” Relief helped ease some of the tension from my body.
Blaze’s ability to crack jokes and flirt made me feel so much better. He was still himself despite everything that had happened. Deep down I knew he had to have some trauma from what he’d endured. Thankfully, he wasn’t a mere broken shell of himself. He was still in there.
“I’ll heal a lot faster if I can taste that pussy. I could use a solid blow job too.” He winked as he shoveled a forkful of potatoes into his mouth.
I shook my head, patting his leg through the blanket. “I see that your pain pill has kicked in. Don’t get carried away and try to do more than you’re able. Take it easy, okay? I want you to heal properly.”
Blaze took a few more bites, wincing when even chewing proved painful. He was so not ready for sexual escapades.
“How has everything been around here?” he asked, glancing at the doorway. “How was Daire?”
I followed his stare through the open door. Daire and Cash were downstairs eating the rest of the food I’d made. Their voices carried up the stairs as they talked about finding Brady.
“He was pretty uptight. A little over the top, but what else is new?” The ache between my legs spoke volumes about how Daire had been feeling. The bloody scratches on his back and the bruised bite on his neck proved that I’d been a little chaotic myself.
“I hate to say it but I was afraid he would give you to Brady.” Blaze’s voice dropped in volume. “I wasn’t sure if I could trust him to protect you.”
“He was a stress case, no doubt. He mentioned handing me over to them. When it came down to it, he kept me safe. I just wish this hadn’t happened to you.” I didn’t mean to bring down the mood. It was so damn hard to see Blaze in pain.
Blaze popped a piece of broccoli into his mouth. His gaze went to the scarf around my neck. “What are you hiding under there?”
Since we were at home now, I pulled off the scarf to reveal the marks on my neck. “Like I said, Daire was a stress case.”
Blaze studied the bite and finger marks I bore. “So were you, I guess. I saw what you did to Daire. I didn’t know you had that kind of aggression in you.”
“Neither did I.”
“I guess that means you really care about me, huh? Even after what happened? I kind of thought maybe I didn’t mean that much to you.” The light in Blaze’s eyes faded as he awaited my response.
I took a hard swallow of my tea before placing it on the bedside table. “I do care about you, Blaze. I wish I could go back and not make that arrangement with Raina to have the Gods jump you guys. It’s something I regret every day.”
Blaze pushed a chunk of chicken around on his plate, staring into the dish. “I thought we had something. That maybe we were getting somewhere. I know this didn’t start off so good for you. We forced you to be here. Still, I felt something between us. I thought you felt it too. When the Gods showed up that night, I realized that I’d been all wrong. You didn’t give a shit about me. About any of us.”
“I’m sorry I betrayed you, Blaze. All of you. You’re right though. I didn’t have a choice in any of this. You guys claimed me as a fuck doll. You threatened me.” I paused, searching for the accurate words to explain myself. “None of this is easy for me. I wanted to hate you guys. But I don’t. I don’t know what I feel. All I know is that when Brady sent us that video of you, my world turned upside down.”
That was as close as I could bring myself to telling him how I felt. I didn’t even know half the time. One minute I hated the Angels, the next I felt warm and fuzzy toward them. Nothing about this arrangement was healthy or normal. I knew that. Apparently, so did Blaze.
When he finished eating, I took the plate. I was about to take it downstairs when he stopped me.
“Clover, don’t go. Please. I’m tired. I think I need to sleep. Will you stay with me?”
Placing the plate on the dresser, I turned back to the bed. “Yeah, of course I will.”
I rounded the bed to the other side and carefully climbed in beside him. The thought of accidentally hurting him made me hyperaware of every move I made.
Once I got settled next to Blaze, he pulled the blankets up over us both. Unable to do anything but lie on his back, he reached over to take my hand.
“Closer,” he said. “I want to feel you against me.”
I scooted closer on the mattress, sucking in a deep breath of his scent. God I was happy to have him back.
As I listened to Blaze’s breathing grow heavier, I thought about the weird conversation we’d just had. There was something between us. Between all of us. As much as I’d resisted, it was painfully clear that I was theirs.
For the first time since they’d claimed me, I didn’t hate it.