Chapter 17
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
BELLAMY
The number of boxes that were delivered to the house this morning was concerning. If I lived a conventional life, I’d be worried. Except my life is anything but conventional, and I’m not even phased by the thought that it could be some sort of massive drug delivery. My father had dealt in worse trades than drugs.
My father.
In the weeks since his death, I wanted to feel something, anything, about the last remaining family member I had being taken out by the men in this house. The men who were supposed to collectively be monsters, but had shown me nothing but kind gestures and respect. There was a short time, very short, that I wanted to be released from the grips of these strangers and back into the care of my father, but that was in the hours following the church massacre, when all I could see was the blood and hear the screams that echoed.
Now, I never wanted to go back there.
Did that mean I wanted to stay here? I wasn’t sure. But I was safe enough, at least for now. I didn’t have to worry about food, or if the grandfather of my child would come claim what he thought was rightfully his.
Things had become different, and I wasn’t sure if that was bad, good, or some weird grey area in between. But in the weeks since Ace and Mercer came home with the donuts, dynamics had shifted, and things had slowly changed. I didn’t understand it, not really. But I wondered if it had something to do with the conversation they were having in the kitchen that day. I wish I had stayed quiet enough to listen, to overhear what had each one of them always close by, always willing to keep me company. All but Adam, who changed too, but differently. Why was he always so guarded? What was he so damn afraid of?
My fingers dug into the soil, loving the progress of the garden. I hadn’t known when I asked Adam, but it was a full garden of rose bushes, fountains and, deep in the center, a stone bench. I wasn’t sure why they had let it become overgrown, but true to his word, Adam had the list of supplies delivered for me, plus things I hadn’t asked for. Two days after asking, he had a crew arrive, and all I had to do was demand, and they made it happen.
I wish he could see the progress, but he doesn’t go into the backyard. Instead, he spends so much time in his office or at the casino. And when he’s not there, he’s inside, working on a project everyone is so secretive about.
I stood back after I covered the roots with the soil, admiring my work. “Lady, don’t you dare.”
The pup looked up at me with big eyes, acting like she wasn’t about to dig the rose bush up from where I just buried it.
“Please,” Max begged the dog from a few feet away, where I had him digging holes. “Don’t fucking touch it. I don’t want to be doing this for a minute longer than I have to.”
Beside him, Drew snorted, and under his breath, he whispered, “Pussy.” I heard it, but pretended I didn’t. I was just thankful for the help, even if it was grudging.
I was ten bushes in when I felt the eyes on me. I looked up, spotting Ace through the gate door as he approached. He was taking in every detail, as the three of them always seemed to do. I stopped digging, my hand on my lower back, which was aching, and waited for him to approach. I never knew what he was thinking, and that was unnerving. Mercer was the easy-going one. Adam was always reserved, but Ace, he just… he was the mystery between them. Sometimes hot, sometimes cold. Where did I stand with him?
When he was close enough, I asked, “Do I need to go inside?”
“What? No.” His head shook. “Unless you want to? Though you should take it easy. Are you in pain? We can hire someone to do this. I don’t want you to get heatstroke.”
“It’s nine thirty in the morning. I think I’m okay.” His eyes were looking around, and I took that moment to absorb the details of his profile, right down to the little scar on his jaw that begged me to touch it.
Without thinking, I reached up, running my finger against the scar, before pulling away, leaving a dirt mark. The dirt mark was so out of place on the backdrop that was him. His smooth skin, the crisp white shirt, the wrinkleless slacks, had no room for imperfections. “I got you dirty. Sorry.”
His eyes burned with words and secrets he didn’t dare speak. “It’s just dirt.”
“I know, but you’re leaving.” They always left me left behind. The only time I left the house were the appointments, and then right back here. “You always leave. All of you.”
“I can stay,” he offered, and I hated to ask that of him, when I knew he had a job, a life, things that his attention revolved around long before I joined the mix.
“It’s okay. I have Max and Drew,” I pointed out, so he didn’t feel bad about leaving me. Only I’m not sure if that reassured him.
His face pulled into disgust, and Max threw a clump of dirt at him. “I saw that.”
He dusted off the dirt, but his shirt was already destroyed. “Well, guess now I have to stay.” He rolled his sleeves up while asking, “Where do you want me, boss? You supervise from the bench, and we’ll do all the work.”
“Boss?” A single brow rose in question. “I can work too.”
“Can you? Because I’ve never seen a princess lift a single finger.”
I huffed. “Princess. I’ve never been a princess.”
His eyes darkened as they roamed over my body, and my skin burned with the attention. “You’re right. You’re not a princess.” I swallowed, feeling a sense of rejection. But before I could let the rejection settle, he continued, “You’re the queen in a den of kings.”
My throat worked hard to swallow, not knowing what to say to that. “A- A den?”
“Make no mistake, our little queen. We may be the kings in this territory, the highest you could fucking get, but our claws are sharp, our roar mighty, and we’d not hesitate to tear any threat to threads. We’re animals. There is no denying that.”
“Are you warning me, Ace? Because I’m not afraid of a minor scratch.” Was I flirting?
His chest rose, and he blew out a breath. “Do you need warnings?”
“I can handle you.”
“Doubt it, honey. But you sure as hell could try.” God, why were men so cocky?
I opened my mouth, debating on what to say, when a clump of dirt landed between us. We turned our heads in unison, only to see Max grinning. “This garden will not plant itself.”
“Fuck off,” Ace growled, but dropped to his knees and unwrapped a rose bush.
“Ace. Those are dress pants,” I pointed out as I knelt next to him. “You’re getting them dirty.”
“I’ll buy new ones.” He shrugged.
“Don’t you have somewhere to be?”
He just brushed it off. “It’s canceled.”
“You didn’t even make a call to cancel it,” I protested.
“They’ll figure it out.”
“You’re going to really stay and… help me?” I don’t know why the thought of him doing so was so incomprehensible. They always did what they told me they would, usually before I even asked. Still, the thought of him digging in the dirt, his normally well-composed self getting dirty, made my heart jump and my body start bubbling to liquid lava. It took little lately. Ever since the nausea faded, a want replaced it that I couldn’t seem to quench.
“Why are you acting so shocked?”
“I just-“ I didn’t want to say it was something Mercer would do, never him. But Mercer was the one who interacted and got involved. Ace and I had just now barely entered a zone where I could, maybe, sort of call him a friend. It was a vast improvement from feeling like a pest a few weeks before. Even so, this Ace was just… different.
He sighed. “Listen, I know we’re not all as friendly as Mercer. He’s like a puppy. He craves attention something awful, especially from pretty ladies. Don’t tell him I said that, by the way. He’s always been the friendliest. It’s an illusion, you know. He’s the deadliest of us all.”
I laughed at that. If I hadn’t seen him kill at the church, I’d believe he was lying. Still, I doubted he was the deadliest. “No need to deter me. I’m not playing favorites.”
His palms went up in surrender. “I’m just telling you the truth.”
“If you say so.” I shoulder bumped him as I unwrapped the plastic around the plants’ roots.
He bumped me back, but said nothing more. Together, we worked side by side, planting roses in the holes that Drew and Max dug. Clearly, we had the easier job, but still, the sun was out and though the weather wasn’t scorching, sweat had rolled down my spine and pooled at my lower back. I watched Ace work, his arm repeatedly going up to wipe the sweat on his forehead. Still, he didn’t complain, even though he had every reason to, since he was out here in fancy work clothes, which couldn’t be comfortable. Instead, his brow was pinched together tightly, his mind clearly in deep thought as he helped me revive this once beautiful garden.
Twenty plants later and almost a whole side of the wall finished, he finally spoke, the faintest of smiles toying with his lips, as if a memory was playing out. “My sister loved it here. It was hers once, you know. I think she’d like that you’re bringing it back to life. She never would have wanted Adam to let it go.”
My heart clenched. “I didn’t know.”
His eyes held mine as he reassured me. “She’s not here, Bellamy. Someone has to love it like she did.”
“I just… will he be mad?”
“If he wasn’t paying attention to what garden you were talking about, that’s on him, honey. This is your home, and you can do whatever you want with it, even if it’s bringing back something he intentionally let die.” He stood and brushed off his knees before holding his hand out to me. “Come on, doll face. It’s getting hot and if you get any more sun, I’m afraid you’ll pass out.”
I took his hand; maybe for the first time since that day at the doctor’s. And I know it was wrong. I knew I shouldn’t feel a damn thing, but I did. I didn’t want to let go. Maybe I was starved for attention. Starved for any acceptance I could get. Starved for the touch I’d so rarely gotten in my lifetime. And it could be wrong of me, but when he didn’t let go, neither did I. I allowed him to pull me through the garden I was slowly turning into a sanctuary, and through the yard, until we were inside the house, Lady on our heels.
When he dropped my hand, I felt the loss. The familiar loneliness instantly took over, and I wanted nothing more than to chase him down, link our fingers, and never let go. But it was Ace. We were hardly friends. He was the last person in this house I should want to hold hands with.
“Go get cleaned up,” he ordered. “I’ll change, then make you lunch.”
“I’m not hungry,” I protested because damn it, if I ate every time these men tried to feed me, I’d gain a hundred pounds this pregnancy.
“That’s not what she said.” He grinned and pointed at my stomach.
I looked down, the bump that appeared overnight not visible under the baggy shirt I wore. “You think it’s a girl?”
“Don’t you?” He tilted his head as he watched my stomach intently. “I’ve always wanted a girl; not like I’ve ever been in any relationship serious enough to have kids. But there is an appeal to the power little girls seem to hold over men like us.”
“And boys?”
“They are born with the weight of this violent world on their shoulders.” He sighed. “But we’d love him just the same.”
“Even though his father?—“
I didn’t get to finish my sentence before he cut me off. “His father is under this roof. DNA doesn’t create fatherhood. Go on now, clean up so I can feed you two. You’ve got thirty minutes.”
Thirty minutes?
That was more than enough time to relieve some of the energy that was buzzing low in my stomach and wash off the dirt that clung to my skin. “Fine. But don’t eat without me.”
“I could never.”
“Liar,” I tossed over my shoulder, then I practically skipped toward my suite. If there was one person in his house who’d eat a meal without me, it for sure would be Ace. “I’ll be quick.”