Chapter 13 Mia
I looked at Quinn and Ava as I sat on the couch, my legs curled under me. Both were on their feet. Ava had her hands behind her head, her eyes closed, with her head tilted back to the ceiling. Quinn had both hands over her mouth, her eyes wide as they watched the Alabama players celebrating.
Looking between the two of them and the TV, I wasn’t entirely sure why the result was so bad. They lost — I mean, they had a fifty-fifty chance of winning, and today just wasn’t their day. However, with the way Ava and Quinn were reacting, I got the impression something worse had happened.
I watched the cameras zoom in on Ash as he got to his feet and pulled his helmet off. I lurched forward slightly in my seat. He looked . . . devastated.
Wetting my lips, I looked him over as number eight approached him, and then I saw Jett put his arm around his cousin. Ash dropped his head onto his cousin’s shoulder, and the two of them walked off the field.
“Kentucky can still lose,” Ava said as she focused on the TV.
Quinn was nodding, but her phone was in her hand. “Yeah, they could.” They shared a look, and Ava tried a smile, which to me looked weak, but Quinn was heartened by it. “Yeah, and there’s still a game to play.”
“When do they play?” I asked from my seat.
“Now.” Ava dropped onto the couch and kicked her feet up onto the coffee table.
“Are they on TV too?”
“No, I’m keeping up-to-date on the sports app,” Quinn told me absently as she began to pace. “He’s going to blame himself,” she said softly as she walked back and forth.
“Ash?” She was making me seasick with all the pacing. “Well, he did kind of drop it.”
Both of them stared at me like I had told them the sky wasn’t blue. “If you want to show Ash support, I suggest you don’t mention that,” Quinn said sharply.
Now that I knew what drunk Mia had said to her last night, I was slightly uncomfortable around her.
I’d wanted to apologize, but when I saw the text messages between Ash and me, well .
. . all other things had ceased to matter, and all I could think about was the fact that I had to see him again and, worse than that, live with him.
I’d never been so bold in my entire life. I didn’t participate in dirty talk, and reading that thread from last night, I wasn’t sure I recognized the drunk Mia I had obviously been.
I had a masturbation session with him. As I read the texts, I remembered the incident clearly, and I had been a willing participant in the actions.
I had no doubt he would have too. Ash owned his sexuality, which is one of the things that I found so attractive about him.
He wasn’t a cringeworthy one-liner kind of guy; he was just a guy who looked at you, and you knew he was going to own your ass in the bedroom.
The guy had game, there was no doubt about it.
And before last night, I would’ve liked to think I had a little bit of game myself. Now? Now I was hoping to never see him again if I were honest. The embarrassment was gut-wrenching.
“Ava?” I asked as I turned to look at my best friend. “What have I missed?”
“Only the top two teams go forward to the championship game. The Saints have lost one game; the Alabama Lions have lost one game. Neither could afford to lose today. Add in Kentucky, which has only lost to both Alabama and us, and, well, we need them to lose today. Then the Saints can still get to the championship game if they win next week.”
“And Kentucky loses,” Quinn added grimly. “Damn, we needed to win today. What was Woods doing on the D-line?”
“Dante Spence was just on point today,” Ava commiserated. “And Dustin, geez, did you see those runs?”
Ava’s cell rang, and she reached over to answer it.
Her look was one of surprise, so I knew it wasn’t Jett.
“Hey, Bobby,” Ava greeted. She nodded as she listened.
“Yeah, I did take a note of the yards, yup, I can text you. Aren’t you watching it on the TV?
” She paused. “Seriously? It’s going out now? ” She listened. “Wow, that’s harsh.”
Quinn was watching her closely, and I saw Ava frown.
“No, Bobby, you’re this school’s sportswriter.
” Ava stood, and I knew she was irked when she rolled her eyes.
“You cannot put that as a headline. No.” Another pause.
“Because Jett’s going to kick your ass. And if he doesn’t, Gray will.
Actually, fuck that, I will.” Ava turned her attention to me, and I saw her eyes narrow.
“No, no.” A deep breath. “I’ll send you what you need, but do not dare make me knee you in your balls. ”
Hanging up, she looked at us both. “Bobby needs the Lions’ stats. He’s already halfway through the column for the paper.”
“Headline?” Quinn asked, and I could see her holding her breath.
“‘Lions Victory Over Devil-less Saints.’”
“Yeah, they’re going to kick his ass.”
“Yup.”
“I’m going to go work on some assignments before they get home,” Quinn said as she headed to the stairs. “Kentucky ended while you were on the phone, same score as before,” she added to Ava. Ava’s groan told me that wasn’t what they were hoping for.
Ava was on her phone, texting Bobby, no doubt, and didn’t even look up. I watched Quinn climb the stairs. With a sigh, I pushed to my feet. We had been cordial during the game, but I couldn’t put it off. I needed to apologize. Properly.
“She’s not scary,” Ava said from her spot on the couch, still without lifting her head.
“No, I know.” I lingered for a moment more. “Her boyfriend is though.”
Ava snorted and continued texting. With a deep breath, I followed Quinn up the stairs and knocked on Gray’s door.
“Come in,” Quinn called, and I pushed the door open. She was in the middle of changing, her shirt on the bed, her yoga pants and bra the only things she had on. “Oh, I thought you were Ava.”
“Sorry,” I muttered as I closed the door.
Quinn crossed the room and went into Gray’s closet. “No matter, what do you need?”
Feeling awkward, I followed her to the closet. I didn’t want to say this to a door; I wanted to at least be able to say it face-to-face.
“Can we talk?”
Quinn looked at me briefly before she looked back at the drawers. She had drawers here? Wow. They really were all in. “I don’t know if you have anything left to say?” she said with a forced laugh.
“I know, I was so out of line. I didn’t remember when I woke up, but I, um, do now.”
And I did. When I read the text thread to Ash, the whole evening came crashing back to me, and I had lain on his bed, feeling like a really terrible human being.
“I wasn’t sure if you did or not,” Quinn replied as she straightened. She looked at the closet and then at me, then down at her half-undressed state. “I want to wear something nice for him to come home to.”
It was an olive branch, and I recognized it for what it was. A peace offering, and I grabbed it. “I can help? And maybe talk?”
Quinn studied me for a moment longer and then nodded. “I’d like to hear what you have to say,” she said, and I could hear the hesitation in her voice as she spoke to me.
“Can I start by saying that I am not a terrible person?” I asked her and felt slightly relieved when she smiled.
“You can,” Quinn looked around the closet. “But you know, my best friends are the Devils, so my bar with so-called terrible people is high.”
I grinned and nodded toward the closet door. “You want to come out of the closet for this talk?”
Quinn’s smile widened, and we walked back into the bedroom. I walked to the couch, and she sat on the edge of the bed and waited expectantly.
“I’m not in love with him,” I started, and I saw her look of disbelief.
“All we’ve done is hook up, and yes, he is very, very good at that,” I admitted honestly.
“I’ve enjoyed our time together, but it was casual.
It meant hardly anything. And despite his reputation, he hasn’t been a jerk, spread lies about me, or called me loose to his friends.
” I held my hand up to stop Quinn speaking.
“And yes, I am aware of who his friends are, and yes, I know he may not have had the audience to do so.”
“What I was going to say was that Ash wouldn’t.” She looked at her feet as she spoke. “I’m the only one that he’s ever been cruel to in that way,” she added softly.
“Oh.” I nodded. I didn’t know their full history, but it appeared that there were still some lingering issues to be resolved. “Well, that makes me feel a bit better about him, even though I didn’t think he would have anyway.”
Quinn nodded and met my look. “Go on,” she encouraged.
“So . . . we’ve slept together,” I grimaced at the awkwardness, “and two of the times, I think something had happened with you or Gray, and he needed . . . release.”
Quinn was silent and then rubbed her hand over her forehead as she thought about it. “Halloween?” she guessed.
“Yeah.” I didn’t feel guilty, but I felt . . . off.
“Yeah, you’re right, we’ve been a . . .”
“Trigger?” I supplied.
Quinn’s nose wrinkled in displeasure. “That’s not kind to you.”
I shrugged. “I think I used him too.” I admitted to her surprise. “I knew I should stay away from him, and football guys are not my thing. They’re not looking for an HEA, and they have so much drama attached to them with other girls that I’ve mainly stayed away.”
“Hang on, what’s an HEA?” Quinn asked curiously.
“Happily ever after,” I explained. “You know, you and Gray, Jett and Ava. Normal girls dating football players in college don’t get that . . .” I searched for the right terminology. “Security . . . is the word, I guess.”
“I understand,” Quinn agreed. “We’re both lucky to have the twins.”
“You are,” I answered quickly, glad she could see my point and keeping my thoughts about those Devils to myself.
“Ash is dealing with whatever is between the three of you, that’s not my business.
And I think I used him to make myself feel better.
” Wiping my hands on my jeans, I plugged on.
“Ava is my best friend, and in a very short time, my insecure, introverted, football-obsessed bestie has become semi-famous with her hot boyfriend and has become really close with you too. And . . .”
“You thought you were losing her?”
“And I thought I was losing her,” I agreed somberly. “And he’s a very big, delicious-looking distraction when you’re feeling alone and vulnerable.”
“Yes, he is.” Quinn stood.
“But my behavior last night is not Ash’s fault or Ava’s for moving on, or even Jett’s for being the reason she fell in love.
I was mean, I was completely out of order, and I really am not the person who I was last night.
” Shaking my head, I thought about it. “I was nothing more than an insecure mean girl, and I have no excuses.”
“I think I prefer that,” Quinn said to me thoughtfully.
“What, that I have no reason to behave like I did?” I asked skeptically.
“Yes, the fact you’re not trying to bullshit me with weak ass excuses.” Her head tilted to the side, and she thought about it. “You were jealous.”
I was about to snap a reply when I pulled my words back, because she was right. “I was jealous. Tequila didn’t help.”
Quinn considered me for a moment. “White wine does it to me. I either sob for a week or become a raging bitch.”
I huffed out a laugh. “So, next party, I’ll drink wine, you drink tequila.”
“Or we both just drink Coke, like Ava.”
I thought about it. “Nah.”
Quinn grinned and shook her head. “Nah.”
We sat and looked at each other, and then Quinn turned to look at the closet. “Are you still jealous?”
“Probably,” I told her. “But I know I have no reason to be.”
Quinn looked back at me. “Why? What changed?”
“Because Ava made me breakfast and gave me painkillers and laughed at my sext messages to your boyfriend’s cousin.” I stood from the couch. “She thinks I was wrong. She didn’t like it, but she had zero judgment. I got a scolding and a hug. If that isn’t a best friend, I don’t know what is.”
Quinn was grinning, and then I realized what I had disclosed. “Show me.” When I didn’t immediately guess what she meant, she clarified. “The messages.”
“No!” I shook my head adamantly. “No, they’re awful.”
“Yup, you were so mean. I mean, you were awful.” She headed to the closet door. “Show me, and your apology is accepted; don’t show me, and I’ll have to tell the Devils. All of them.”
“Why? That’s horrible!” I called after her as she went back into the closet. “You’re a mean girl!”
Her head popped back out of the closet. “Takes one to know one,” she told me with a smug grin.
When I handed the phone over with the messages open, I couldn’t hide my embarrassment. When Quinn whistled through her teeth and handed me the phone back with a sly look, I wanted to die on the spot.
“Even?” I asked without making eye contact.
“I think that seals it.”
“I have to face him, Quinn,” I suddenly wailed. “I have to live with him.”
She surprised me when she hugged me. “Ash is the most laid back of the three. He will know you are freaking out. And I know that,” she hurried on when she saw me about to protest, “because he told you not to regret the texts. He’s a decent guy,” she assured me.
She started to laugh as she looked at me.
“Not in love with him?” Shaking her head, she pulled open a drawer.
“You’re maybe not in love with him yet, but, girl, you are in trouble for sure. ”
“Why?” I asked fearfully.
“Because Ash Santo has marked you as his, and, Mia, he’s every bit as possessive as his cousins.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, oh.” Quinn nudged me before she turned serious again. “He’ll be difficult, he’ll be an absolute ass, he’ll drive you insane . . . bear with him, Mia, I promise that he’s worth it.”
“What if I’m not looking for that?” I mean, I was nineteen, almost twenty, and I wasn’t ready to give up my independence just yet.
“You are,” Quinn said as she held up a lovely lingerie set. “Else you wouldn’t have kept the messages.”
Looking back at my phone screen in accusation, I realized she was right. Damn it, I hated when I was predictable.
Now I just had to face the music.