Chapter 28 Ash
Gray and I walked quickly to the stadium, my cousin deep in thought, and my thoughts centered on a certain redhead in my bedroom. She should never have been involved, and now she was being grabbed by dickheads and watching videos that should never be seen.
“Did we do this?” I asked Gray as we walked.
“Do what?”
“Put them in danger?”
“I want to say no, but . . .”
“But you feel guilty?” I guessed.
“Well, it was my baby,” he said quietly, and I heard the catch in his voice. “Sorry,” he added with a quick shake of his head.
“Nothing to be sorry for,” I assured him. “Well, not that part.”
“But the everything else?” he asked me with a slight self-mocking sneer. “Yeah, we probably did.”
“She did well.” Red had done well, better than I thought.
“Yeah.” Gray toyed with his zipper on his coat. “She picked up things I didn’t even know to look for.”
“It was a good call, asking her.” We returned to silence as we approached the stadium.
“Whatever you’re doing with her will have consequences,” Gray warned me suddenly. “You’re getting too involved.”
“What the fuck?”
“I know you, Ash. She’s exactly your type. She’ll fall, you’ll get bored, and Ava and Quinn will gut you. It’s a disaster waiting to happen.”
I wanted to protest. I wanted to say it wasn’t like that, that she knew it was just a bit of fun, but I couldn’t.
I couldn’t because I wasn’t sure who was falling for who.
So instead, I avoided his warning as I usually avoided anything Gray was serious about.
It gave him more pleasure saying “I told you so” than preventing it in the first place.
“You think you’ll catch today?”
He held his hand with the straps up. “Not today, but Izzy’s going to look at me after practice,” he told me.
“Good, we may need you if we win Saturday.”
“I’m ready to be recruited back onto the team.” He took the stairs to the stadium quickly.
However, my feet stopped, and I turned to look back over the campus. It made so much sense. Why hadn’t we considered it?
“Recruitment.”
“What is it?” Gray came down the steps and stood beside me. “Ash?”
“The janitor.” I hesitated. “What if he was placed here?”
“You need to give me more,” Gray told me as he waited.
“I don’t know . . . but it feels right.” I paused, and my cousin was going to explode with impatience. “The janitor, he knew her. Quinn. He called her Queen. How many people know we call her that? Really?”
“Not many,” Gray answered me. His brow was knitted in concentration. “What has that to do with recruitment?”
“I think he knew her, from them, not us. I think . . .” I swallowed. “I think they use the campus as a recruitment ground.”
“How the fuck do you work that out?”
“This is college. College parties, unprotected sex, and, dare I say it, date rape.” I blanched at the thought. Then I thought of Red needing a job. “Student debt.”
“Unwanted pregnancies and the easy answer waiting with the promise of a payout, or at least no more cost,” Gray murmured as he looked at me.
“The bitch was waiting for Quinn outside the medical center. If they are placed in locations where the girls are vulnerable, they can swoop in and get them when they’re weak.
Quinn said she came out crying, the leaflets in her hand. A janitor . . .”
“Sees and hears everything because they’re skilled at blending in as they do their job,” I finished.
“They’re working the medical centers and campuses to find girls,” Gray said with clear understanding.
“We need to make a list of all the people who have dropped out or taken a break of nine months or more.”
“And then find out if they were approached,” Gray said excitedly.
“And maybe even put a name to the girls we have film of,” I added quietly.
“This could be it,” Gray said to me eagerly. “This could be the break we need.”
We shared a smile, but in truth, neither of us was really happy. How could you really be happy knowing you were maybe going to find out someone’s misery?
“You need to tell Onyx. He can run this faster than you,” Gray told me as we walked up the steps. “I mean, I know you can do it, but—”
“Your brother is better, I know,” I said as I punched his arm playfully. “I’m not offended. I would also rather Onyx did this; I don’t know if I can cope with much more of this misery.”
As we approached the locker room, Gray turned to me. “You and me, we’ll be okay.”
Slightly taken aback at his bluntness, I nodded slowly. “Yeah, we’re family.”
Gray watched me for a long moment. “We are, but we’re also friends, aren’t we?”
Was Gray Santo waving the white flag? “Didn’t know we needed peace talks?”
He let out a low laugh and grinned at me. “We don’t, we’re not at war, we never were.”
“I know.”
“I shouldn’t have lied. About how I feel about her.”
“I agree.”
He looked away for a minute. “I really thought she knew how it was for me. I thought she knew that I didn’t want . . . anyone but her.” He gave a small half shrug that really showed me for the first time in my life, that my cousin was truly vulnerable in front of me.
How the hell did I navigate this conversation? I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t prepared for everything I wanted to say to him. I should have written it down in my journal.
My journal.
“I didn’t leave my journal out. I don’t know how Tilly found out,” I blurted. “But she’s so sorry, she keeps crying whenever Quinn’s mentioned.”
Gray gave a slight shake of his head as his lips pursed in anger. “I truly didn’t think it was my big brother,” he said half to himself.
“I don’t believe he would,” I advised cautiously. “Onyx is wild, we all know that, and he really does dislike Quinn immensely, but he . . .”
“He loves Tilly,” Gray finished dryly. “How did it even happen then?”
“I dunno.” Running my hand through my hair, I looked at him. “I wouldn’t do that,” I told him again.
“I know, I never once thought you would.”
Just then, Jett opened the door to the locker room and stopped in surprise when he saw us. “I was about to come looking for you both. What’s going on?”
Gray shifted slightly on his feet, and it was all the warning I had before he punched his twin and sent him flying, landing on his ass.
“Gray?” I asked softly, too scared to move. Onyx was wild, but Gray was equally unpredictable.
He looked away from Jett, who was rubbing his jaw while scrambling to his feet. The look he sent my way made me want to step back. “I have another brother,” Gray said coldly as he turned back to look at Jett. “One who wanted answers as much as anyone.”
My attention snapped to Jett, and I heard my huff of disbelief as it made perfect sense. “She’s eight,” I said to him angrily. “Why would you use Tilly?”
Jett hesitated and looked ready to retaliate when suddenly his shoulders slumped. “It wasn’t meant for Tilly to read. I thought Aunt Charlotte or Uncle Kage would see it first.”
“You stupid prick,” Gray growled at him angrily. “Why the fuck did you fight Onyx when it was you all along?” Gray rubbed his jaw. “It was you who asked me at the table if Ash still kept a journal.”
“I know, I knew it was my fault, and I didn’t want Onyx to take the blame. For that.” Jett looked at his twin as if he were delusional. “The punch though? Seriously? The fight, he deserved it, you know he did.”
Gray gave him a look that said fair enough, and then we all looked at one another, unsure what to do next.
“If she felt that she had to tell us, it would have been easier,” Jett suddenly said. “This was before I knew it was yours.” He gave Gray a guilty look. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re such a massive dick,” Gray muttered as he scrubbed his hands through his hair. “You can’t tell her, ever. She will never speak to you again.”
“I know.” Jett looked miserable as he hung his head. “I just needed her to talk, and you know I get—”
“Fixated,” both Gray and I spoke at the same time. “We know.” Gray and I shared a grin.
“I think I need to punch you,” I told him seriously. “My little sister is eight for fuck’s sake.”
“I know,” Jett cried out. He looked sorry, but it wasn’t enough. “It wasn’t supposed to be Tills. You know I would never ever do that to her.”
“But you did.” Gray was back to being pissed off. “Just like Queeny’s your best friend, and you would never hurt her, but you push, and you push, and you have no respect for boundaries.”
“I’m a dick.” Jett looked at us both. “Ava tells me all the time.”
Gray rolled his eyes. “It’s not a badge of honor, you fucktard.”
I had held back enough, and my fist shot out and connected with my cousin’s cheek. It felt good when he fell against the wall.
“Fuck!” he cursed, and Gray tilted his head as he considered him.
“Not so pretty now, are you, pretty boy?” Gray mocked.
“God, you’re the worst fucking family ever,” Jett groaned as he checked his cheekbone tentatively with his fingers. “That fucking hurt.”
“That was my intent.”
“Have you both stopped hitting me now?” he asked as he shook his head, his dark hair falling in his eyes. “I deserve both punches, but any more and I’m hitting back.”
Gray walked into the locker room, pushing his brother back into the wall as he passed him. Feeling better, I followed, knocking Jett hard with my shoulder as I passed.
“Fuck, quit it,” Jett muttered as he followed.
It didn’t make what he did any better, but at least we knew how my little sister had found out.
I had written it down as an entry for my food journal.
A journal I also jotted other things down in.
My entire family knew not to look. I didn’t even know that Jett knew where I kept it.
Did I feel violated that he read it? Not really.
Nothing I wrote down was anything he didn’t already know.
Did I feel angry that he laid it out for my parents to read? Yes.
I really did.
It was a violation of my trust and Quinn’s. Turning around, I faced him and punched him again. He was ready for it this time and braced himself, but that didn’t soften my blow.
“That one was for Quinn,” I muttered as I walked to my locker. Gray was waiting for me and gave a nod of acknowledgment. “Should I have let you do that?” I asked him under my breath.
“Nah, I’ll get him later.”
Good.
“You’ll call Onyx?” Gray asked me. “I’m not ready to hear him speak shit about Quinn,” he admitted. “Not right now.”
“I got it covered.”
“Santo!” Coach shouted. “Why the fuck is your face red and swelling? Have you been punched? Who the fuck hit my quarterback?” he demanded angrily as he looked around the locker room.
“I did, Coach,” I said easily. “My cousin’s a pussy and a dick. Needed reining in.”
Coach looked at me, and when he went to yell, Gray cut him off.
“I did, Coach,” he said lazily as he stripped. “My brother’s been an asshole.”
Coach looked at the two of us, and then he turned his attention to Jett. “This some of your weird Devil nonsense?”
“Yes, Coach, my family was reminding me that there’s no I in mayhem.”
Several of our teammates snickered, but Coach Bowers was clueless. “What?”
“Family thing,” Gray said as he pulled his shorts on. “Doesn’t affect the team, Coach.”
Coach’s stare was hard and unyielding. “You okay with that, number eight?”
“If my brother and my cousin need to kick my ass, then it’s for good reason,” Jett said honestly. “I deserved it.”
“He did.” Gray didn’t even look up.
“Definitely did,” I agreed.
“You’re a messed-up family,” Coach grumbled as he walked away.
“How’d Mia do?” Jett asked quietly as we finished getting ready.
“Good,” Gray said. “But I still don’t want to fucking talk to you right now, so I’ll speak to you in two hours.”
Jett hesitated, then stopped to pick up his helmet. “Okay, let’s play.”
Coach made Gray and me run extra laps to vent our aggression, as he called it, while Jett had to sit on the bench, and Ben practiced in his place.
The laps, I didn’t care about; Gray and I could run all day.
Jett did not like being sidelined. However, Coach was either trying to get it out of our systems or wind it so tight we would explode on his watch.
When we were allowed to stop running and Jett was allowed to practice, my cousin was so fucking furious he’d been benched that his throwing arm was on point.
Jamie almost snapped me in half on the last tackle of the day, and as I lay crumpled on my side with the defensive end half sprawled across me, I wasn’t sure I would catch my breath.
“Fuck, Woods!” Gray grumbled as Jamie rolled off me. My cousin held his arm out to pull me to my feet. “At least buy him dinner first,” he bitched at the big defensive end.
“Yeah, like he does?” Jamie glared at me and then stormed off.
“What the fuck was that?” I asked as I inspected my side.
“Elise?” Jett asked speculatively.
“I haven’t fucked her in months,” I defended myself. Actually, when I thought about it, I’d only been with a certain redhead and no one else. Shit. Was I dating Red? “Am I dating the redhead?” I asked them in confusion.
Jett did his best not to laugh. Gray didn’t care, he laughed long and hard at my expense, I felt.
“You hook up with anyone else?” Jett asked me as we began to walk back to the locker room.
“No.”
“You enjoy being with her?”
“Yeah? Maybe.” I thought about her temper. “Sometimes more than others.”
“You like sleeping with her?” Gray asked when he stopped laughing. “Not screwing, just sleeping.”
“Yeah, we were, um, snuggling—”
“You were snuggling?” Gray’s hand whipped out and hit his brother across the chest to stop him walking. Jett was grinning at me. Gray was looking me over slowly. “Who the fuck are you, and where’s my cousin?”
“I’m dating the redhead?”
“You’re dating the redhead.” Gray nodded.
“Oh yeah, definitely dating Mia,” Jett confirmed.
They were both chuckling as they walked past me, and I stayed behind as I looked up into the dark Tennessee night. “I’m dating Red?”
I did not see that coming. Did she know? Shit, did I have to have the conversation? How did you even have the conversation? What was the actual fucking conversation?
A hand on each arm turned me, and my cousins dragged me into the locker room between them.
“Calm down,” Jett said easily. “It’s a good thing.”
I knew my look was skeptical.
“You’re looking a bit wild in the eyes there,” Gray said to me, and he pushed me to sit on the bench. “Do you not want to be dating her?”
I thought of his earlier conversation. I would fuck this up. He knew it, I knew it, and as I looked at Jett, he knew it.
“This isn’t a good thing,” I said slowly. “I’m going to mess it up.”
“Fuck someone else then.” Gray shrugged as he crossed his arms. “Easy.”
“No!” I protested. I didn’t want to be with someone else. I wanted Red.
“Yup, he’s a goner.” Jett looked over at his twin, and Gray agreed. Jett’s hand fell on my shoulder. “It’s a good thing,” he assured me seriously.
Was it? I wanted Red? Yes. I did. Only Red. I was totally screwed. How the hell did I tell her?