29. Alice
29
ALICE
I can’t stop pacing. My room feels too small, the walls closing in as my thoughts spiral. Nikolai’s words still sting— needy. Was I really being too much? Or was he just too preoccupied to care?
But that’s not the real reason my stomach churns. No, it’s the other realization, the one I’ve been pushing to the back of my mind for days now. I’m late. Too late. And every little ache, every strange craving, every wave of nausea feels like a neon sign flashing the truth in front of my face.
I want to see a doctor, but I know I can’t. The plan was to break the news at dinner, but that’s not happening anymore.
The Morozovs don’t allow me to leave the estate unless I’m accompanied by someone. Which leaves me with one option—Jenna.
I grab my phone and dial her number, pacing again as I wait for her to pick up.
“Hey, Alice!” Jenna chirps, her voice a bright contrast to my frazzled mood.
“Jenna,” I say, trying to keep my voice steady. “I need your help.”
“Of course,” she says immediately. “What’s going on?”
I hesitate, biting my lip. “I need you to bring me…something. Quietly.”
Her tone shifts, concern creeping in. “Alice, what’s wrong?”
“A pregnancy test,” I blurt out before I can second-guess myself.
There’s a pause, and then she says, “Okay. When?”
“Today,” I say quickly. “As soon as you can. But you have to be discreet. No one can know.”
“You’re seriously freaking me out,” she says, but I can hear her grabbing her keys. “I’ll be there in an hour.”
I don’t realize how tightly I’m gripping the doorframe until Jenna walks in, holding a small paper bag.
“This is insane, Alice,” she whispers, handing it to me. “Are you okay?”
I nod, clutching the bag. “Thanks, Jenna. I just…I need to know.”
She gives me a worried look but doesn’t press.
I pull the box out of the bag, and make it to the bathroom, locking the door behind me.
Minutes feel like hours as I wait for the test to process, the little screen on the stick taunting me with its silence.
When the result finally appears, my breath catches.
Pregnant.
I stare at the word, my chest tightening as a million emotions crash over me at once. Relief. Terror. Joy. Confusion.
“Oh my God,” I whisper, sinking onto the edge of the tub.
I’m pregnant. With whose child, I don’t know, but I am undeniably, unmistakably pregnant.
When I come out, Jenna is sitting on my bed.
“Well?” she asks.
I hesitate, my lips parting to answer, but before I can get a word out, the door opens and Marta steps in, as if she was waiting just outside.
Marta’s gaze hardens, and before I can react, her hand shoots out, grabbing the kit.
“A pregnancy test?” Marta hisses, her voice dripping with disdain. “You’re pregnant?”
I swallow hard, my throat tightening. “It’s not what you think.”
“Oh, it’s exactly what I think,” she snaps.
“Marta, it’s none of your business,” I say, my voice shaking.
“You’re playing a dangerous game, little girl. Do you have any idea what you’re doing?”
I glance at Jenna, who looks like she’s ready to jump in, but I shake my head slightly. This is my mess to handle.
“I’ll handle it,” I say.
Marta scoffs, tossing the kit back at me. “You’d better,” she says, her tone laced with warning. “Because if you don’t, I will.”