Chapter 15 Gray #2
We’d been insatiable. I hadn’t been able to get enough of her, and she’d been as demanding as I was. When the morning broke through the blinds in her room, we’d been lying side by side, exhausted.
Groaning, I sat up and swung my legs over the side of the bed.
“Where you going?”
“Practice starts in an hour,” I told her as I looked for my jeans.
“You haven’t slept.”
Looking at her as she lay in the bed with her hair spread around her and her sheet barely covering her, I smirked. “Whose fault is that?”
When I was dressed, I turned back to look at her. She was still watching me, and I really just wanted to climb back into bed and sleep beside her. But I had practice, and in the cold light of day, I was wondering what the consequences of my actions would be.
“I gotta go,” I said as I headed to the door.
“Gray?”
I turned back.
“Am I out of your system?”
No. Instead, I walked out without answering, because I didn’t trust myself not to tell her that she was everything.
I’d been worried about what the consequences would be when I told my cousin I had slept with her, when what I should have been worried about was getting her pregnant. I had never used a condom with Quinn. I used one with other girls, but Quinn . . . no.
The first time, because I had been crazy with anger and lust, I hadn’t even thought about it.
The second time had been just as spontaneous.
The night I spent with her, I had asked her, and she said no, I’d already been inside her bare that night, and she was on the pill.
Selfishly, the thought of anything between us was loathsome, and I was relieved when she said no.
Practice had been brutal, as I had been clumsy, lethargic, half-asleep.
I’d been given the “I thought you were serious about football” talk from my coach, my twin, and my dad.
Which sucked because football season was over, and practice was just for “fun” now, and I was getting grilled for being tired.
They were right, though. Quinn distracted me. Football was my focus.
So, after a night where we had finally been together, with no barriers, exactly as it always should have been, I’d stepped back. Because my whole entire future was football, and Quinn knew that. She would understand. I was sure of it.
I knew that I’d confused her, and she withdrew from me, but a handful of text messages should have been enough to see us through. Only it wasn’t. She was pissed that I took a step back, and because of that, I was pissed she decided it was a one-time thing.
Maybe she didn’t feel like that, but she sure acted like it. The following weekend, she was on a date with someone else. She saw all three of us arrive at the party, and she had turned her back on us.
Literally turned her back as if we were nothing.
I saw Ash turn his head and go straight for the drinks, but my brother’s face was what I remembered the clearest. Jett had been hurt by her shun.
I knew he was still in contact with her, not as much as before, but they were still talking.
They were still friends, and she was willing to hurt him because I had hurt her.
Her cold shoulder that night reminded me of what I had to lose if we were ever together.
I didn’t just risk messing up me and Quinn but the relationship with my brother and my cousin as well. Was she worth it?
Were we actually destined to work, or were we two stupid teenagers with too many hormones and nothing other than a strong attraction for each other?
Over the next few weeks, I convinced myself it was the latter. But she was everywhere. My whole entire body was attuned to hers, and I knew whenever she was in the same room long before I saw or heard her.
To be with her was crazy. I would risk everything.
To be away from her was making me miserable, and I made the decision she was worth the risk. A few months after we spent the night together, I snuck into her bedroom, ready to tell her everything.
“How did you get in?”
“Back door, I could pick that lock in my sleep,” I said with a grin as I moved toward where she sat on the edge of her bed.
Her room was creams and naturals, tones that didn’t suit her in my opinion. She should have colors of black and neon pink or something similar. That would suit her more because there was nothing soothing or neutral about Quinn.
“Why are you here?”
“Would you believe me if I told you that I missed you?” My voice was low, my nerves were high. This was stupid; I knew her, and this shouldn’t be so hard.
“No.” Quinn’s look was heavy with scorn, and I couldn’t help but smile at her tone.
“Well, I have.” I reached out to touch her, but she moved out of my grasp.
Quinn rose from the bed and walked toward her adjacent bathroom before she turned back to me. Her loose T-shirt and PJ bottoms made her look younger, softer. She looked tired, and I knew it was late, but she was a night owl. Like me.
“You okay?” I asked as I got up from the bed and walked toward her. Reaching out, I caught her arms and pulled her into me. My surprise at the ferocity with which she pulled away from me was obvious.
“Don’t touch me,” Quinn barked as she pulled away. “It’s too late.”
“Too late for what?” I asked. When she said nothing, I decided to carry on, as my nerves weren’t going to last. “Are you going to listen to what I came here to say?”
Tiredly, she looked at me, her shoulders slumped, and I noted the dark circles under her eyes. Quinn wet her lips as she gave a small shake of her head. “And what can you possibly say to me that I need to hear?”
“Why are you so fucking pissed?” I demanded, my own temper rising. “What the fuck is the ’tude for?”
Her hands flew in the air in frustration. “I don’t know, Gray, why don’t you guess?”
“Guess?” I looked her over and couldn’t understand what the hostility was for. “Can you talk to me?” I tried to reason with her.
“What? Like you talk to me? Or did you just come over to fuck me again?” The hard accusation in her tone pissed me off.
“Never heard you complaining,” I snapped back.
“Well, I’m complaining now.”
This wasn’t going the way I wanted it to. She was angry, but I didn’t know why. But Quinn had a bad temper, so maybe I just needed another tactic?
“Let me try again,” I started, but her sneer stopped my words.
“I’m not interested.”
“You don’t even know what it is,” I countered quietly as I watched her.
“I don’t need to. I’m not interested in anything you have to say now or ever. It’s the same worthless bullshit I’ve been listening to for years. Please leave.”
“Fine.” Shutting my own emotions down, I took a few steps to the door. “Knew I was being an idiot.”
Whether it was my tone or the look on my face, she called out to me to stop. “Tell me.”
“No point, like you said, I’m full of shit. You’re probably right.”
We stared at each other in silence, the hurt and anger between us heavy in the air.
“Just say it,” Quinn said with a heavy sigh as she rubbed her hand over her eyes and stared out the window. “Get it over with.”
“I love you.”
Her head whipped around to look at me, her eyes searching, her face mirroring her shock. “What?”
“That’s what I came to tell you, but you’re right, I’m full of shit and it doesn’t make any fucking difference.”
She stared at me, and then I watched her turn away from me. She didn’t say anything until I’d had enough and turned to walk out.
“It’s too late,” she whispered behind me.
“Yeah? I just got the fucking memo. See you around, Queeny.”
If only she had been honest with me that night, if only I had pushed her more, maybe all of this could have been prevented. As I sat on the bus heading back to Cardinal, I knew one thing for certain: hindsight was one of the few luxuries I couldn’t afford.