Chapter 17 Quinn
The room was stuffy, and I knew better than to leave.
He would find me. He always found me, and tonight, well, tonight I wasn’t interested in his mood swings.
He was the one who said he needed to stay away, and that’s what I intended to do.
Mia had drifted off with Bea, Ava was completely wrapped up in Jett, and Ash was .
. . I looked around the room. Okay, Ash was busy.
Fine.
Denzel was leaning against a wall, and I knew he kept looking over at me. Did he know it was Gray who hit him? Probably, Gray was hardly subtle.
“Hey, Quinn, how are you?” Jada asked me as she approached. She was dressed as a cheerleader, which I found amusing since she was the volleyball captain.
“Hey, decided to try life on the other side?” I asked with a grin at her costume.
“Yeah.” She looked down at the short skirt. “The cheerleaders are in our clothes, and we’re in theirs. At the time, I thought it was hilarious.” She looked at me with a sigh. “Now . . . I’m going to punch the next guy who pats my ass.”
“You think you’re getting hit on because you’re a cheerleader?”
“Why else?”
“’Cause you’re crazy hot. The outfit isn’t the reason.” I laughed at her expression.
“I’m telling you, Quinn, it’s the uniform. It makes guys complete jerks.” She shook her head. “They’ve all got these stupid fantasies.”
“Hmmm,” I pretended to think. “Maybe I picked the wrong choice.” I looked down at my jumpsuit. “It’s like a onesie though, I’m so comfy,” I confessed.
“It’s a great costume. You and the other two girls look badass. Melly keeps drooling over Mystique.”
We both looked in Mia’s direction, and I remembered she got stage fright, which was odd because she had no issue being the center of attention. Maybe she needed to go up on stage wearing blue body paint. “She looks good,” I said to Jada.
“Yeah, um, you know who else looks good tonight?”
It was the hesitation in her voice that caused my spine to stiffen. “Tell me,” I said, and I knew what she was going to say before the words left her mouth.
“A certain Cardinal Saint. Number twenty-two to be exact.”
“Gray,” I murmured as I wished I had a drink. “Thought you’d already been there?”
Jada flushed and shook her head, her ponytail swishing around her shoulders. “Um, no, that was Jett.”
“Oh.” I knew that, but still my inner bitch wanted to watch her squirm. “It’s hard to keep up sometimes.” I gave a light laugh, and she smiled. She either didn’t pick up on my falseness or didn’t care.
“Do you think you could see if he would be interested?”
No. “You’re nineteen?” I asked her with a cool look. “Can’t you find out yourself?”
Jada squirmed some more, and I didn’t care that I was sounding pissed off. “He’s kind of intimidating.”
My head fell back as I let out a loud laugh. “And you want to fuck him?” Her face was beet red, and I didn’t care.
“Quinn!” Jada hissed as she stepped forward. “Shh! I just want to know if he’s interested.”
Shaking my head in pity, I looked at her hopeful gaze, and with exasperation, I turned to look for him.
He was easy to spot, deep in conversation with two of the defense for the team.
He was leaning against the wall, a beer in his hand, his face tight with concentration as the three of them discussed who knows what.
Football, most likely. I would bet my life it was football.
His eyes flicked to mine and held. An eyebrow was raised as he looked at me, and completely pissed off with the whole situation, I made my way over to him.
I noticed the other two guys looked me over the same way Gray did, but the heat of their stares meant nothing to me.
“What is it?” he asked as I reached them.
“Jada wants to know if you’re interested in her,” I said to him and ignored the two other guys’ laughs and whistles.
Light blue eyes held mine, and I glared back at him. You’re pissed, his look said.
Yes, I’m fucking pissed, my stare said back. I saw his mouth curl in a smirk, and I broke the stare as I looked over the crowd.
“Why she sending you?” Gray asked as his grin stretched.
“Because she thinks you’re scary,” I sneered at him, my tone telling him exactly what I thought of that.
Gray laughed. He so rarely laughed freely, my eyes snapped back to him in surprise. “Why’s that funny?”
Gray stepped up beside me and looked over at Jada, his eyes running over her. “Because I am.”
He took another step, and my hand caught his wrist as I turned my back to the crowd and looked at the wall behind him. “Don’t.” My head dipped down, but I still felt his stare as he turned his head to look at me.
“Don’t?” His tone was low, angry. “Why should I listen to you? You never listened to me.”
“Gray . . . please.”
“I wouldn’t.” His breath tickled my ear, and I felt the knot in my stomach unravel as I turned my head slightly to look at him. “Any girl who can’t tell me she wants me herself, I’ve no fucking time for.”
We stared at each other for a heartbeat more, and then he stepped away from me, my hand dropping from his wrist, and as I turned back to look at the crowd, I caught Ash watching me. I didn’t see where Gray walked to, all I saw was Ash, and I saw his hurt.
God, this was messed up.
With a tilt of my head, I gestured to the door, and I saw his small nod in acceptance.
I really needed another drink, but I walked toward the front door anyway.
Turning to look over my shoulder, I saw Jett watching me.
Ava was held close to him, her back to his chest, with his arms wrapped around her as they watched the party.
He gave me a small, encouraging nod, and it gave me a boost as I reached the front door and headed outside to have a long-overdue conversation with my ex, but more importantly, my friend.
Several people were still outside. The scarers were still doing their jobs, and I was startled as a skeleton jumped out at me.
With a laugh, I carried on walking until I spotted a bench a little way down the street from the house, and feeling a bit self-conscious, I sat down as I zipped my costume over my chest.
I watched him walk down to meet me. His hair falling loose over his forehead, he needed a trim.
Ash walked with his shoulders straight, which meant he wasn’t comfortable, but he was still coming, so that was a positive .
. . right? With no hesitation, he sat down beside me, his manspread taking up half the bench.
“Still hogging the seat,” I murmured with a small smile, and I heard a huff of laughter as Ash sat up straighter, his legs closing a little.
“Habit.”
“I know,” I replied as I crossed my hands on my lap.
“Strange to do it now, isn’t it?” he began as we watched people pass us by. “Is this too open?”
“Probably,” I admitted. “I wasn’t thinking.”
“Want me to walk you home?” he asked, and I could hear the hesitation in his voice, which is why I said yes. I shot a quick text to Jett to tell him to tell Ava I was heading home, and I put my phone back in my bra. Ash noticed my “pocket” and grinned as I shrugged.
Slowly, we walked to my apartment, and neither of us spoke. The silence was actually companionable, and despite the chill in the air, I enjoyed it. At the foot of my stairs to my door, he looked at me for the first time since we started walking, and then at the door.
“I don’t know if my cousin would let me survive the night if I go in,” Ash told me gruffly.
“Don’t be stupid,” I murmured as I walked past him and up the stairs. “This isn’t a conversation for outside.”
I heard his answering grunt, and then he closed the door behind him.
Inside, he looked around, taking in the pale walls with only one shelf, the neutral-toned couch, and chair. Ash hadn’t been inside my dorm room since I got here, and I saw him note the size even as he leaned forward to look at the few framed photos I had.
“Communal kitchen?”
“Yes,” I answered as I unzipped my boots and dumped them inside my bedroom at the door. When I went back to the living room, we sat and stared at each other in silence for a moment. “How do you want to do this?”
Ash sat on my chair and leaned forward. “I don’t know,” he told me as he stared at the floor. “I’ve been pissed off for so long I don’t know where to start.”
“You want me to start?”
“You didn’t actually cheat, did you?” he said instead as he raised his head to look at me.
I needed to be honest. “The intent was there,” I spoke softly.
“But nothing happened? Which is why when I was screaming at you and kicking the shit out of furniture, you wouldn’t answer who you slept with.” He leaned back and crossed his arms. “Because there was no one to name.”
“It would have made no difference. The damage was done. I wanted to have sex with someone who wasn’t my boyfriend, so it’s moot.”
“When did you first hook up? With Gray.”
Swallowing, I held his stare. “Not long after we broke up.”
Ash nodded like he was expecting it. “How many times?”
“A few.” My voice was quiet, but I saw his answering nod again.
“He didn’t know you were pregnant?”
“No.”
Ash was looking everywhere but at me as his head nodded, like he was having a conversation with himself. “I didn’t think so, he would have killed someone.” Ash grunted. “He may still kill someone.”
“I know.” My whisper was barely audible.
“You ripped my heart out,” he told me.
“I didn’t mean to.” I was scared to move as Ash looked at me with his emotions open. “I didn’t know how you felt. We’d never really been serious.”