Chapter Fifteen
Nyx
I’m really impressed by Cade’s dedication to bringing these journals.
In my mind, I was picturing maybe three of them. But nope—he’s brought twenty-five.
Twenty-five large, completely full journals.
Apparently, Ophelia loved to write.
“There’s more back home,” he says with a smile, across from me on the other couch.
“More?” I repeat, gobsmacked. “How many more?”
“Just… more.”
Shaking my head, I flick open one, scanning a random page. The neat cursive handwriting is thankfully legible and detailed despite the age of the journals. It seems she wrote all the time, not just about the Great War, but about her life as well.
“People would kill to have these,” I remark. “So many inaccurate historical records about her when these exist.”
Cade shrugs. “I know. But sometimes it’s better to just leave them guessing. The truth is powerful but not always an ally. Besides, she wanted them to stay within the pack. Or her family, I suppose. It feels too personal to share them with the world, you know?”
I nod, understanding what he means. “I feel like I’m violating her privacy by reading them.”
“You are her family, Nyx.”
“I know,” I sigh. “But it feels weird.”
I have to admit, despite it feeling like I’m reading some huge secret, it’s nice to have a connection to her.
I still have no idea if what I saw when I was unconscious was real, but I believe it has to have been. Her words still replay in my mind though. Even with history repeating, it’s not the same, and whatever worked for her, may not work for me.
It's a terrifying thought.
Even now, I still feel unsure where to begin. But I suppose these journals are a good start.
“I went through them to figure out the best ones to bring,” Cade mentions. “Most of these center around the war and the time she found her mates.”
Nodding, I agree it’s the best place to start if we’re going to find any type of answers.
Flicking back to the start, I begin reading, already lost in her words and recounts. Cade reads too, helping speed up the process as we sit in silence and devour the journals.
15th June 1609
Today ‘tis my twenty-first birthday. It is hoped that I shall soon find my fated mate.
Father has still not returned from the war.
I do long that he does so beforehand. It would be joyous for his presence to bear witness to my bond.
Alas, the days are passing and mother feigns happiness.
But I fear her melancholy is increasing with the passing weeks.
29th June 1609
There is worrisome talk amongst the pack. Alpha Godwin believes an invasion is coming. If it be, I fear the worst.
Father has still not returned and mother has taken ill. Her screams hath kept me awake, and I am saddened by the thought that she has omitted information from me.
My hope is dwindling for his safety. Mother’s tears lead me to believe that my father is now with our maker.
4th July 1609
The attack hath come. Alpha Godwin was killed and many of us hath taken to hiding. I pray to the Moon Goddess that they doth not find me.
5th July 1609
I have been found. Worst so, mother is dead from a broken heart. I am alone.
8th July 1609
They doth not know about my journals. They are hidden where my heart lies.
Time is not on my side.
13th July 1609
I have been blessed by the Moon Goddess. I need not worrisome about my journals for I hath found my mate in the New Moon Pack. Alpha William.
Though I am happy, my heart still aches for mother and father, and my pack family.
28th August 1609
William bound our souls in the present of the Moon Goddess last night under her highness’s full moon. As Luna, I vow to protect my pack.
5th September 1609
War ravages on. William has left to fight. My heart is full of sadness as I fear he may meet the same fate as my dear father. May the Moon Goddess protect our souls.
16th September 1609
William wrote to me. His words are sweet and I count the days until we are in each other’s arms again. Never hath I read such sweet sentiments:
Please assure yourself this absence from you has only strengthened my desires. If my travels were not unavoidable in their necessity, I would not willingly deny myself your presence.
30th September 1609
My sweet William returned. Our reunion was shortened by my heat. I confined myself as he brung another pack into our land and the strangest revelation occurred. I bonded with a second mate–another alpha.
Fear I have breached my vows as witnessed by the Moon Goddess. My heat attracted my new mate and we consummated our bond.
May the Moon Goddess be easy on my soul.
6th April 1610
My three mates are still bickering. Be my soul and may the Moon Goddess give me guidance.
The war is worsening. Perhaps I shall continue to discover ideas to find peace.
In my research I discovered our joint pack land creates the most peculiar formation. A star.
“This is interesting,” I point out, my finger sliding over the crisp yellow pages. “Ophelia was talking about celestial formation.”
Cade looks up from his journal. “Formation?”
“Do you have a copy of the land and associated packs? Ours and the ones that have gone missing?”
He nods, reaching into a bundle of paperwork and shifting through until he finds it. Taking it, I scan the familiar map, suddenly seeing it with new eyes.
My pen starts drawing lines as Cade watches with his brows pulled together, intrigued.
“Holy shit,” I mutter. “We’ve been looking at this wrong.”
Cade leans over, observing my diagram. “Well, would you look at that? I knew all roads led back to you.”
We’ve spent so many hours huddled over this map, trying to figure out what the curve meant of disappearing packs. But now, I think it was nothing but coincidence, an effect of packs vanishing.
One vanishes, so the neighboring pack panics. They send hunters out, then they vanish. Then their neighbors react, creating a chain effect. But that’s just correlation, irrelevant to what we should have been searching for this entire time.
At the far east side of the map lies Shadow Creek and when I pull the lines together, linking Cade's with Lex and Maverick's land, I'm gobsmacked to see it creates a star just like Ophelia's. Every pack is a point.
"What's this land up the top?" I ask. "It finishes the star as the peak."
"Hm. That's vacant land," Cade answers. "No one has ever owned it."
"Do you think that means something?"
He smiles. "I think everything means something, Nyx. It's just a matter of figuring out the what."
Nodding, I return back to my reading, desperate to uncover more information.
The last few entries of this journal go into further detail about her mates fighting and butting heads, and I can't help but feel amused at the similarities. She did tell me it gets easier, so it's nice to know I'm not alone in this minefield of fated bonds.
Grabbing the next journal in the sequence, I notice that it's riddled with pages about the Great War.
10th July 1610
I hath returned from my travels. The alphas hath been welcoming, and many signed the treaty.
I fear it is not enough though. Unreachable packs are still at war, and with the cosmic balance swinging, it's worrisome that the end is near.
Now, it shall take a great sacrifice to restore peace. The ultimate sacrifice of good is the only way to return the wolves to amicable survival.
Why do I fear I am the answer?
The sun has long set by the time we decide to call it a night.
Cade leads me upstairs, our hands joined as I muffle a yawn.
I'm still mid yawn when Cade slams the bedroom door closed, shoving me into the wood. His mouth covers mine urgently, the lingering taste of coffee still present on his tongue.
The exhaustion is gone in an instant, my lips attacking his viciously as his hands tug at my clothes.
"I need to be inside you," Cade mutters against my mouth. "Now."
I let out a squeal as he throws my clothes to the side and lifts me off the ground. My legs wrap around his waist as he walks us over to the bed and we crash into the mattress.
Slipping my hands between us, I help him remove his clothes. Cade slides down my body, his hand grabbing my ankle and throwing my leg over his shoulder.
His hot mouth covers my cunt, tongue darting through my folds.
"Fuck," I breathe out, wiggling under his touch as the tip of his tongue circles my clit with growing speed.
I tighten my grip, my leg placing him in a head lock as my pelvis rocks against his face. Cade's finger slides into my entrance, pumping in strong strokes as his mouth aggressively strikes my clit.
"I'm going to come," I tell him breathlessly, squeezing his head tighter. "Yes, right there. Fuck!"
My body explodes into a frenzy of waves, his unrelenting tongue lapping at my clit. As I start to come down from the high, Cade quickly slides back up my body and impales me with his cock, stretching me instantly.
He growls in my ear at the sensation, my pussy convulsing still as I spasm around him. Burying his face into the crook of my neck for a moment, he bites the sensitive flesh, piercing the skin.
A scream erupts from my throat but it's cut off quickly as Cade kisses me. I moan into his mouth as I taste myself, his hips rocking into mine as his cock hits all the right places.
I grab his face and deepen the kiss, our tongues dancing against each other. Cade reaches down, finding my clit with his fingers and strokes it vigorously in firm circles without breaking pace.
I'm already climbing back up again, ready to fall over the edge at any moment. I don't want it to end, but we're both so worked up, desperate for each other. Cade thrusts into me harder, hitting my g-spot, and I crash hard—screaming into his mouth as I clench his cock tightly with my orgasm.
Cade's not far behind, a low growl ripping from his throat before he stills, spurting his release into me while his kiss deepens and his tongue slides against mine.
"I love you," I blurt out, pulling back slowly. "So damn much, Cade. I'm sorry I didn't say it sooner."
Panting softly, his eyes dance as he gives me a tilted smile. "I loved you from the very first moment you told me to fuck off in the cells. I knew right then and there that you were my mate, and I was fascinated by you from that moment on."
I laugh, rolling over and cuddling into his chest when he lies next to me. "I still don't forgive you for the whole rock thing."
He sighs in dramatic fashion. "Ezra said he was sorry. Besides, I think it worked out pretty well. The rock was an important part of our journey. You should give it more credit."