26. Riley
My first impulseis to follow, to track him down—hell, any one of the Reapers—and demand a straight answer about what Maddoc said. But the intensity of that meeting with The Six left an impression on me, and I take at least some of Maddoc’s words to heart.
Now more than ever, we have to be the ones to find Chloe first, and the last thing I want to do is get in the way of whatever it is they’re all putting into motion to make that happen.
It’s late, so I head up to my room and try to convince myself to get some sleep. Instead, I’m stuck on the same emotional rollercoaster as before, and when it finally feels like I’m about to vibrate out of my own skin from pure frustration, I give up and go looking for answers.
Not from Maddoc. If he’s coordinating efforts to find Chloe, I’m going to leave him to it. And not from Logan either, since I still never know what to expect from him no matter how my feelings about him may have shifted.
I go looking for Dante, and I finally find him in his studio, painting.
He looks up when I walk in, and any worries I had about whether or not he’d mind me intruding here without an invitation go up in smoke when his eyes crinkle at the corners, a pleased smile spreading across his face. “I was just thinking of you, princess.”
“Were you?” My eyes are fixated on the brush in his hand. It drips with familiar thick red paint, and my body instantly reacts with some kind of sense memory that heats my blood in a way that’s far too distracting given that I came here for answers. I drag my eyes off it and meet his heated stare. “So this is the important work you had to rush off to do?”
Dante laughs. “Nah. I already did what I needed to, and we’ve got things in motion. Don’t worry about that. This is… you know.”
I do. He told me. It helps him get his head in the right space, and knowing that about him feels intimate in a way that goes way beyond the times we’ve been physical. It’s just one more reason I have to know if Maddoc meant what he said.
“What’s up?” Dante asks, turning back to the canvas he’s working on and giving me the opening I need.
“I don’t understand what Maddoc’s problem is,” I say, frustration coloring my voice. “Why can’t he just give me a straight answer? Was he just fucking with me?”
“Cut him a little slack,” Dante says as I cross the room. He adds a violent burst of paint to the center of the canvas. “Madd’s got a lot on his mind right now.”
“When does he ever not have a lot on his mind?” I mutter. “I’ve got no idea where I stand with him. No way to tell if he’s telling me the truth or lying. How am I supposed to know—”
If I can trust him, is what I want to say. But admitting that, showing that I want it, makes me feel too vulnerable right now.
So instead I go with, “If he really wants to help, or if he’s just using me again.”
Dante turns to me, finally putting the brush down. “Maddoc has reasons for not opening up to people.”
I cross my arms over my chest. “We all do.”
“Fact,” he agrees. “But not gonna lie, princess. His reasons probably make it a little harder for him to be straight with you than if it was someone else. Actually, scratch that. If it were anyone else, he wouldn’t even try.”
“What’s so special about me?”
He gives me a hot look, then grins. “Where do you want me to start?”
It’s tempting to go with the flirting. To stay in the moment and take what Dante’s offering. But I need to know… and damn, I like Dante even better when he figures that out without me having to say so.
He doesn’t make me work for it, obviously seeing something in my face that has him dropping the charm and giving me a look that’s somehow even more appealing. That’s more real. “You know about Sienna?”
I nod. “Maddoc’s ex who’s now with Austin McKenna.”
I half expected her to make some kind of scene when she showed up with him at Saraven, but beyond hanging off Austin’s arm and shooting a few contemptuous looks toward us, she was mostly silent.
“That’s right,” Dante says. “And that shit really fucked Maddoc up when it happened.”
“He loved her?” I ask, something barbed and ugly twisting inside me.
“Huh. Love?” He cocks his head to the side, squinting a little, like he’s replaying it all in his head. “I don’t know about that,” he finally says, “but she was definitely the only other woman he’s ever been serious about.”
My heart trips, my hands suddenly sweaty. “The only other woman?”
Dante gives me a long look, but doesn’t actually answer. “It was bad enough that she cheated on him,” he says instead. “That shit was…” He shakes his head. “You know how he feels about loyalty.”
“I do.”
It’s one of the things I’m attracted to the most… although I definitely don’t hate how hot he is, either.
Dante nods, continuing. “He demands it. Fucking deserves it. And since he doesn’t give his own trust lightly either, finding out about the cheating after he trusted that bitch, plus the way she defected to West Point afterward—not just choosing McKenna, but betraying our whole organization like that? Let’s just say it’s left Madd with some trust issues, especially when it comes to getting close to someone like that again.”
Again.
It’s that last word of his that sends my stomach into a little spasm of jitters. I wipe my sweaty palms on my thighs, then lace my fingers together to try to keep my hands from shaking.
Everything Dante is saying makes me hurt for what Maddoc went through, but it also feeds that tiny spark of hope inside me in a way that the shitty realities of life have always taught me was too dangerous to put any faith in.
People always let you down, and good things don’t last. Those two lessons are ones I learned early, well, and often, and I’m not sure which idea is more frightening right now—that the Reapers are still playing me, or that, this once, things might actually be different.
Dante’s watching me carefully, and I know without him having to spell it out that he’d never share details about his brothers like this lightly. And that if he thinks I’m not respecting the information in the spirit he’s offering it, he’ll shut it down hard and fast.
I lick my lips carefully. “So, you’re saying Maddoc doesn’t trust me. None of you do.”
Dante trails the backs of his fingers down my cheek, then cups it. “That sharp mind you’ve got is hella sexy, not gonna lie. But yeah, that’s what I’m saying. And Maddoc’s trust issues hit pretty close to home when it comes to you, which makes it interesting to see him trying.”
I snort. “This is him trying?”
Dante laughs. “More than you probably realize. Hell, more than he’d probably admit. Even Logan…”
He cuts himself off, shaking his head.
“Logan doesn’t trust me either? Of course he doesn’t.” I answer my own question before Dante has the chance. “But why? It’s like he hated me from the start. What did I ever do to him?”
“Nothing, but believe me, he has his reasons. But you know how private he is. You wanna know those reasons, if you want the whole story, you’ll have to ask him.”
“Would he actually tell me?”
Dante shrugs. “If he wants you to know.”
A few weeks ago, I would have said there was no chance in hell. I wouldn’t even have wanted to know Logan’s story, I’d just have wanted to get the fuck away from him. But now, I do. I want that and more. I want something I’ve never even honestly believed in before. Something I caught a tantalizing glimpse of at Saraven that can’t exist unless Logan is a part of it too.
Unless they all are.
“I need to know if Maddoc meant it when he told Austin McKenna that you guys aren’t going to go after Chloe’s inheritance,” I say, my heart pounding. “Have things changed?”
He gives me a long, assessing look. “Shit’s been changing here since the moment you walked through these doors, princess.”
That’s still not an answer. “Did he mean it?” I press.
“Today was the first I’d heard about a change in plans,” Dante says, making my heart sink. But then his lips tilt up, his eyes softening in a way that warms me all the way through as he adds, “But when it comes to you, Maddoc always says what he means. It’s been that way from the start.”
I blink. Has it? Even after Maddoc betrayed me, after I fucking shot him, he’s always insisted that he never lied to me. And… he hasn’t. Not that I know of. He’s pissed me off. Hurt me and betrayed me. But everything he’s ever told me, he’s followed through on.
Everything.
My throat tightens, a wave of emotion all but choking me. Oh god, Dante’s right. Maddoc did mean it.
I instinctively try to protect myself, ducking my head and looking away as I blink fast to clear the hot prickle of tears that threatens to expose me.
Dante doesn’t let me get away with that. He tips my chin back up and tucks my hair behind my ear, those vibrant green eyes of his—as compelling as anything he’s ever put on a canvas—staring into mine like he can see right into my soul.
I’m completely exposed to him, and I’ve never felt so vulnerable… or so completely okay with that.
“Don’t be so surprised, princess,” Dante says with a smile that feels like a promise, a secret shared just between the two of us. “You’re too damn sharp not to have caught on by now.”
“Caught on to what?” I ask, swaying toward him. Resting my hands on his chest and then sliding them up to his shoulders.
He cups the back of my head, cradling it in one of his big, callused hands while his other one settles around my throat, tipping my face up toward his. “I’ve been telling you this whole time, you’re different. You affect us. All of us. Did you think I was the only one here who’s been catching feelings for you? ’Course Maddoc’s gonna do right by you.”
I suck in a sharp breath, his words landing on the rough tangle of emotions inside me like a spark on dry tinder. They’re not the only ones with trust issues. But then Dante smiles down at me and the spark catches, and everything that’s twisted me up all day and held me back from believing I can actually have what I want with these men goes up in flames.
Dante smooths his fingers over my throat. “Princess?”
“Shut up,” I say, all my doubts turning to ashes.
And then I kiss him.