16. Maddoc
I’ve been gone mostof the day dealing with the business of securing Reaper positions and preparing for whatever McKenna might throw at us next, but I still haven’t done enough.
I’m not sure if it’s possible to do enough, now that he has such a big cash advantage.
I scowl, pushing that thought away before it can gain any traction. We’ll do whatever it takes, and since we won’t back down until we take him down, “whatever it takes” is gonna be enough, by definition.
Of course, the other problem to contend with is that we’re trying to second-guess a fucking psycho. He’s always been a wildcard, but now he’s just as dangerous as he is unpredictable, and that’s going to be a deadly combination no matter how much planning and reinforcing we do.
I park the SUV in the garage, suppressing my daily twinge of annoyance over the loss of our Escalade, and walk in through the kitchen, still silently cursing myself for letting McKenna get so far ahead.
Not that I had a choice. My focus was and always will be on keeping Riley safe. There’s no amount of money that will ever change the way I feel about her.
At least I made some progress today. I touched base with several new informants that McKenna won’t realize are on my payroll. Hopefully, they’ll be able to pick up any rumblings about what he’s up to before he figures that shit out.
I stop in the kitchen and look through to the living room. I can just see the top of Riley’s head over the back of the couch, but that’s enough to make my worries fade into the background for now. Just knowing she’s here calms my nerves, soothing the side of me that’s been agitated and raging all damn day.
She belongs in this house, and I don’t ever want to know what it’s like without her here again.
I still have shit to do, but my legs carry me across the room instead of toward my office, and I don’t fight it. Next to her is the only place I want to be right now, and for once, just for a minute at least, I’m putting what I want before what I need to do as a leader.
My beautiful butterfly looks up and smiles, and dressed in comfortable clothes without any makeup on or one of the flashier nose rings she likes, she’s still sexy as hell.
She’s even more than just sexy, though.
She’s what I want to come home to every fucking day.
I sit down next to her, but there’s a slight hesitation in her eyes as she places a hand on the center of my chest. “How did things go today?”
I grimace, then drape my arm across the back of the sofa and pull her into my side, where she doesn’t have to see my expression. I don’t really want to talk about my day or the necessary preparations we all need to make right now. She has a right to ask, though. She’s caught up in this shit as deep as the rest of us are.
“Maddoc?” she presses, starting to pull away, like she’s gonna try to sit up and search for the answers she wants in my face.
I hold her tighter, needing her close just as much as I want to shield her from seeing the turmoil I’m feeling about what’s coming.
“It went as well as it could.” I pause. Apologizing, explaining myself, looking weak, opening up about shit like feelings, all of that is a dangerous move in my world, and I’ve been betrayed enough in my life to know how stupid it is to show any vulnerability. And yet, everything’s different with Riley. Besides, she already knows how I feel about her, so I go ahead and add, “I’m sorry I left so abruptly.”
She shakes her head. “You don’t need to apologize for that. I could’ve picked a better time to tell you all those things about Aus—”
“No,” I cut her off sharply. I don’t want to hear her say that bastard’s name. “I’m glad you did. We needed to know what happened while he… had you.” I almost choke on the words, rage bubbling up from the darkest depths of my soul again. Then I take a breath and bare my soul to her. “It fucked me up when McKenna took you. I hated every second that he had that power over you, every second that you weren’t here. But come what may, you need to know one thing. He is never gonna get the chance to hurt you again. Not while me and my brothers are alive to stand in his way.”
It’s the barest admission that I might not live through the storm that’s coming, but that’s the only concession I’m willing to make. I’ll have to be dead and gone before I let that son of a bitch get anywhere near Riley again, and I know Dante and Logan feel the same.
“I believe you,” Riley whispers, looking stricken. “And I know you didn’t want me to go with him in that alley, but it felt like the only option I had.”
“Maybe it was.” The admission kills me, but I understand what she means, because I feel it too. “I love you.”
She melts into me, her eyes turning glassy with emotion. “I lov—”
I put a finger over her lush mouth, stopping her before she says it back. Not because I don’t want to hear it, but because I need her to understand what I mean.
“It fucking consumes me, butterfly. This love isn’t like anything I’ve ever felt before. It’s not just here.” I pull her hand over my heart and hold it there. “It’s in every atom of my being. It’s sunk into my goddamn soul. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.”
She sucks in a sharp breath, her eyes going wide as her fingers tremble over my heart. “Maddoc…”
I kiss her, brushing those gorgeous waves of color back from her face.
“Yeah, baby. I know. And I spent too much fucking time trying to deny falling for you. That mistake gutted me when that bastard took you away. If I’d missed my chance, thrown it the fuck away because I’d taken too long to man the fuck up about these feelings—”
“You didn’t,” she cuts in right before I get choked up. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”
I stare into her eyes, seeing the same steely determination there that I feel in my own soul. “Good. You know, when Sienna betrayed me, it pissed me off. Picturing her and McKenna together used to be enough to make me want to annihilate something. But that was nothing like what it felt when he had you. That shit was…” Words fail me. Well, maybe I’ve got one. “Torture.”
A small hint of a smile passes across her lips despite the heavy subject matter. “That ‘torture’ you were feeling? I’m pretty sure that’s what love is.”
I have to laugh because it’s fucking true. “Yeah, okay. I guess you’re right.” Then I get serious again. “But I didn’t know it before. I thought the shit I felt before was love—”
“For Sienna,” Riley whispers.
I nod, but I’m not interested in talking about her. She means nothing to me now. “It wasn’t. Not like this. After she left, I was pissed, and that turned the ‘love’ off. What I feel for you is different. There is no off switch, and I don’t know how to love you with anything less than my whole heart. With my whole everything. I feel it in my head, in my gut, in my fucking pores. It’s like a fire that’s burning me up from the inside, but instead of hollowing me out, it just makes me stronger. The only thing that even comes close is what I feel for my brothers.”
Those beautiful eyes of hers spill over, but she wipes the tears away with a fierce determination and grabs my face, her soft hands framing it as she stares into my eyes. “I love you too, Maddoc. And I love Dante and Logan, just as hard. I’m in this as much as you are. I’d fucking die for you. Any one of you.”
“Don’t,” I snap, my heart lurching in my chest. I squeeze my eyes closed and suck in a sharp breath, then let it out slowly. I don’t look at her again until I can do it calmly, and then I murmur, “Don’t say that. Ever. Or even fucking think it.”
She slowly smiles, a challenge in it that heats my blood even as it warms my heart. “Don’t tell me what to do.”
I narrow my eyes, loving her so much it hurts. “You fucking like it when I tell you what to do,” I growl, tugging her onto my lap. “And you’d better get used to it. I’m gonna piss you off, but I’m not going to apologize for needing to protect you. I’m gonna be an overbearing asshole, and all you’re gonna do is thank me for it, butterfly. Because the thought of anything happening to you—”
My throat locks. I can’t have that thought, because I can’t breathe if I do. And if it actually happened? I’d go feral.
“I won’t ever ask you to apologize for loving me,” she says softly, smoothing her hands down my shoulders, then back up again to wrap around the back of my neck. “Or for protecting me. I just need you to understand that I feel exactly the same.”
She leans closer, her breath tickling the side of my neck and those pert little breasts of hers flattening against my chest.
“And not to give away my big secret,” she whispers in my ear, pausing to nip the lobe like she’s trying to goad me into fucking her over the back of the couch, “but sometimes, I like your overbearing asshole side.”
I grin, then spank the sweet little ass she’s rocking over my hardening cock. “I know. That’s why this works so damn well.”
She gasps, then rocks back and stares into my eyes. “I said sometimes.”
I smirk. “I know what you said, but I also know what you meant.” I squeeze her ass. “Just like I know what you really like.”
“Oh? And what is it you think I like?” she asks, lifting an eyebrow. The hitch in her breath and the way her pupils dilate with lust give her away, though. My butterfly craves exactly the kind of domination that gets me off.
She really is fucking perfect for me. For all of us.
“I know you’d like it if I told you to get on your knees and suck my cock right now.”
I start to swell just from the thought.
Her cheeks flush as she feels it, my cock pushing up against the soft heat of her core. And I’m not wrong. She licks her lips, her gorgeous eyes lighting up with all those feelings we’ve just been talking about. Then that tight little body of hers starts to undulate over my dick, and she slowly moves herself off my lap to sink down between my legs, her eyes full of filthy promises as she holds my gaze.
“Maybe you do know what I like,” she says, stroking me through my jeans and then reaching for my fly.
She pops the button… and my fucking phone rings, the shrill tone freezing us both in place.
My heart wants to shut out the fucking world for this woman, and that greedy little mouth of hers is definitely worth letting the world burn. But I can’t. Not right now. Too much is on the line, and McKenna’s not going to just sit on that money. He’s going to do as much damage as he can with it, and most of the tension I walked in the door with today is from waiting for the other shoe to drop.
The shrill ringtone sounds again, and Riley gives me a subtle nod, and the fact that she understands exactly what’s at stake here and everything I need to do just makes me fall for her even harder.
I cover her hand with mine, keeping it on top of my dick in the hope that we can pick this up where we left off and the call will turn out to be nothing, then I answer my phone.
It’s one of our informants, and I immediately go tense as I listen to him speak.
Fuck. It’s started.
That second shoe didn’t just drop; McKenna fucking drop kicked it straight into our teeth.