Chapter Nineteen #2
Rather than grow enraged, Monster releases a low chuckle.
“Fair enough.” His laugh fades, and his hold on me grows a bit tighter.
“I don’t want it to be like this, Scarlett,” he whispers quietly.
“I don’t want you to feel the weight of captivity bearing down on you every second of every day.
I want you to find freedom here, with me. ”
“That’s an oxymoron.”
“Not necessarily. Maybe a paradox—”
“A juxtaposition.”
“There’s my clever girl.” I glance up to see Monster smiling a bit, but the smile fades when we lock eyes, and his expression grows serious. “We could both live in misery,” he tells me. “Or, we could live happily.”
“I don’t foresee a happily ever after here.”
“Then give me a chance to expand your vision. You’re being too shortsighted.”
I press my lips together and look away. Strangely, the urge to push Monster away doesn’t overcome me; for whatever reason, at least right now, I don’t mind his touch. In fact, I’m drawing strength from it.
Giving into Monster would be the greatest mistake of my life—I know that. But, if I’m truly never getting out of here…
I don’t like feeling like a captive who’s only value lies in sex. I don’t like being reduced to a pair of tits and a pussy for Monster to play with whenever he feels like. The only times I’ve felt human as of late are in the greenhouse… and with Max. Especially with Max.
That could be because Max actually listens.
It could be because I’m not as shut off from him, simply because he wasn’t the one to torture me.
But as I think, the realization dawns that he very well could have.
If Boyce had been instructing Max to hurt me, if Max believed I’d killed the closest person to him in the world… he’d probably have hurt me badly.
What’s more, if I was in Monster’s position, if I thought he’d killed my brother… I would’ve done a lot worse to him than what he did to me. My revelations don’t make me despise Monster any less, but they do lend at least a little bit of perspective.
“Think about it,” Monster says. “Think about who you could become here with me. Probably the world’s leading plant-engineer.”
“Botanical genetic engineer,” I murmur, correcting him…
and knowing he’s right. At a university, I would’ve had at least another five years before I could’ve really dug into altering plant genetics to make them more productive.
I would’ve needed to go through my PHD and be a post-doc somewhere, where I would’ve inevitably been saddled with busywork rather than doing what I want to do, what I truly excel at.
Here, there are no such boundaries and constraints.
I have the best tech in the world at my disposal, and lots of time on my hands.
But is being Monster’s sex slave really worth it to do my job? To make a name for myself in this world?
Maybe.
“Botanical genetic engineer,” Monster echoes softly.
“You could do anything you want. Whatever you need, tell me, and it’s yours.
Whatever you want, tell me, and it’s yours.
My heart is already yours, Scarlett, and while that is a life sentence…
there are benefits. I don’t have it in me to deny you anything besides freedom, because I can’t stomach the thought of a life without you. ”
A single tear rolls down my cheek, representing the turmoil hidden beneath the surface of my skin.
I’m confused, at odds with myself, warring between logic and emotion.
Logically, I should start giving Monster some grace for my own sake.
But, emotionally, I’m willing to suffer if it means making him suffer.
I don’t want to offer him a happily ever after he doesn’t deserve.
Monster kisses the tear away and readjusts his hold on me, bringing me to lean against his chest. “This is my favorite part,” he whispers. “Whenever I’m done playing with you, you’re clingy. In need of comfort. I’ll give you all the comfort in the world—”
“I don’t require comfort from anyone, least of all you.”
“Liar,” Monster breathes. “Everyone needs comfort and a safe space. Even I need it, and we both know how wretched my soul is.” The self-deprecation in his voice makes something in my chest pang with pain. Confusion, maybe, but something else. Some part of me feels for Monster.
A few knocks sound on the cracked-open door, and then the doctor who treated me earlier steps inside. He nods at me, then fixes his gaze on Monster. There are dark circles under his eyes, and his shirt is buttoned wrong. It looks like he really did just roll out of bed.
“What can I do for you?” he asks Monster.
Monster presses a lingering kiss to my head, then carefully slips out from beside me. He draws the stiff hospital blanket over me. “Call if you need anything,” he says, motioning to a red button on the side of the bed. “I’ll be back shortly.”
He exits the room, gently closing the door behind him. I fix my attention on Luci, scratching behind his ears and stroking over his sleek fur, murmuring soothing words to him. I only get a few moments to revel in the attention and delightful purrs of my cat before the door opens back up.
But instead of Greyson standing in the doorway, it’s Max. My next breath is a little sharper, and something awkward blooms over my skin. Max stares at me unblinkingly, and his gaze isn’t exactly covetous… but it’s something. His attention is focused on me in a discomfiting way.
“Hey,” I say quietly. “What are you doing here?”
Max cracks a half-smile. “I came to check on Luci, obviously. Does my furry little dude miss me?”
My lips curve a little. “He’s absolutely heartbroken and stuck in a spiral of despair without you. You’re exacerbating his abandonment issues.”
Max chuckles. Luci lifts his head from my chest and meows at him in greeting. “Hey there, hairball.” He glances at me. “Guess he can’t be missing me that much if he’s not coming over to say hello.”
I shrug. “He’s firmly in protector mode right now, listening to my heartbeat and making sure I’m alright.”
Max’s eyebrows inch upward. “Is he a trained service cat?”
“Not trained; innate,” I reply. “I rescued him when he was in a bad way, and he’s stuck with me through some pretty tough times and harsh meltdowns.
He tends to just… set up camp on my lap and rest his head on my chest when he senses I’m struggling.
” I glance at my arm. “The pain got pretty bad earlier.”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you from getting hurt,” Max says, frowning. “You’ve already been through so fucking much… if it’s in my power, I won’t let anything else happen to you.”
I swallow thickly, fixing my gaze on Luci. Max isn’t talking like a friend or ally right now, I don’t think. Something else is going on here, and I don’t know what to call it or how to feel about it. I have no idea how to navigate this.
“It’s not your job to protect me,” I whisper. “I appreciate the sentiment, but—”
“We’re friends, aren’t we?” Max cuts me off, still staring. “Friends help each other out.”
We don’t feel like friends. This interaction doesn’t feel friendly. There’s a tension in the air, something between us that I don’t know how to name. It’s not attraction, but it’s… something.
“Yeah, I suppose we’re friends,” I agree quietly.
“Scarlett?”
I meet Max’s eyes. Something alarming burns in his orbs, a conviction, maybe even a… longing?
“If you didn’t belong to Greyson… we’d be a lot more than just friends.” My heart sinks as I watch Max turn and walk out, leaving my mind restless and my thoughts muddled.