12. Cain
TWELVE
CAIN
Turning from the counter, I head out back into the street. The chemistry between the two of us is off the charts. I try to remember if we had this all along, or if we lost it somewhere along the way. If I look closer at who we were before she asked for the separation, I can admit we never had it. The passion was something I wanted, and apparently she did too, but I didn't know how to give it to her. If truth be told, I didn't know how to express to her that it's what I wanted.
"What does it look like inside?" Alex asks, watching as I walk over to where he's standing.
"I'm not sure. She's eating her breakfast, and I don't want to make her face it before she's ready."
"I think that's a good decision. Do y'all have any idea who's doing this shit? This is like the fifth break in down here, in the last three weeks."
He's asking as a friend, but it's hard to separate that from someone who lives in the community and wants to know answers. "We have a few ideas, but they've been pretty smooth so far. Basically, what they're wanting is easy pickings. If it requires them to do a little more work than they're prepared to, they leave it alone." I hook my thumb back to where Marissa sits in Enchanted Chapters. "She's the wife of a law enforcement officer. She knows better. I'm surprised they came for her, but they didn't get anything."
"Have they gotten stuff from other businesses?" He asks, throwing me a pair of gloves.
I put them on as I answer. "Yeah, there are a couple that don't do a deposit every day, believe it or not. They got a decent amount of money, and I think that's all they wanted. So far they haven't hurt anyone, and they haven't done a crazy amount of damage. This is actually one of the first times they've done damage anywhere. So far, they've found places that have easy ways of getting in. I'm surprised they did this to her." I put on my gloves and reach into the bed of the truck, grasping one end while Alex grabs the other.
"Yeah," he grunts. "Wonder why. It seems it would be counterintuitive. It was harder to get into the shop, and then they didn't get anything. Seems like a hell of a chance to take."
"Didn't get anything that we know of. Marissa still hasn't checked out everything yet. I'm hoping she does by the time we get this up."
I'm tired as hell, and my thighs are burning. Parts of my body are aching that never have. It's amazing what having wild sex can do for your muscles. What I do know is I want to feel this all the damn time, and it's a shame I haven't felt it previously. Alex and I go to work getting the damaged part of the building closed off. When we're done, I reach into my wallet and pull out our agreed-upon amount. "When the insurance money comes through, think you could install? They'll let us choose who we want to replace it. Do you need the work?"
"Yeah, I could definitely use the money. It might take me a couple days longer than it would someone else, but I'd really appreciate it."
I thrust my hand toward him. "You got it. I'll do anything I can to help." He's a good guy. His in-laws are assholes, and I can't believe they're not willing to help him out. It's not as if they don't have a metric shit ton of money.
"Thanks, Cain. I'm gonna head out. Just let me know when you need the help."
Mentally, I prepare myself to walk into Enchanted Chapters. Not only because I'm worried about what these thieves have done, but I'm unsure how Marissa and I are going to be around one another now. Before, there was annoyance and resentment. Now? All I want to do is settle between her thighs and make up for all the time we fucked around. Carefully, I open the door, listening for soft cries, or the angry cursing of someone who wants to kick some ass. When I hear nothing, I step further inside and look around.
I don't see her, and that's slightly unnerving. My instincts kick up a notch. "Ris? Where are you?"
"In the small town romance aisle."
Her voice is small, and now I'm worried they did something to upset her. Gazing up at the words over every section, I find the one she said. My chest constricts when I see her sitting on the floor, holding what looks like ripped up papers in her hands. There are silent tears trailing down her cheeks. "Ris, are you okay?"
She sniffs, looking up at me. "No, this really hurts my feelings."
I carefully take a seat next to her, wrapping my arm around her neck. "Wanna tell me exactly what this is?"
"It's stupid, really."
"Nothing is stupid if it hurts your feelings like this," I assure her, the way I should've before she left.
"When I decided to open Enchanted Chapters, there were a lot of things I wanted to make happen for myself. It was a week after I left that I came upon this space. It needed a lot of work, which is why I've been able to afford it. I missed you," she whispers. "More than anything, I wanted you here with me, but I would never have asked you. I wanted the separation. There was no way I was going to ask you to come save me when I felt lonely."
"You could've," I interrupt.
"No, I couldn't, and you know it." She smirks. "I never would've heard the end of it with you."
That hurts. My palm connects to my chest, and I rub at the ache in my sternum at the truth of those words. Back then, I was all about keeping score, and we had to be even. I didn't realize how much that would come back to hurt us both. How it would affect the way we communicated. At the time, it felt more like we were failing anyway, so what did it matter? Now I wish I could have those moments back. "What was it?" I reach out, putting my fingers under her chin and tilting it so that her eyes meet mine. "Trust me when I say I wanna know. There are things about you I didn't realize before. I knew you wore your heart on your sleeve. Instead of letting it make me feel as if I didn't give you enough emotion, I should've leaned into it. What I've been doing our entire marriage is feeling as if I wasn't enough for you. No matter what it was, I always felt as if I'd have to try harder."
"You never had to, Cain. The only thing I asked for was more spice in the bedroom, and for you to pay attention to what I was asking you. Listen to what I was saying. You thought many times that I was talking at you, when really I was begging for you to hear what I was saying. Looking back, I realize we were both wrong, but if you want me to answer your question, I will." She swallows hard, her throat moving with the effort.
"I do. It seems important, and while I wasn't the type of husband, I should've been earlier. I am now. If it's important to you, then it is to me, too."
She ducks her head down. "It's not like I could go see you whenever I wanted to, so I put a picture of you up. I did it as if it were a display of blue collar first responders, but it was about you." Her shoulder lifts. "Every time I walked by, I could see you. It was possible for me to stare, without you knowing."
Those words go straight to my chest. It activates the guilt I've felt at her leaving. Because I know I was the reason for it. She didn't feel comfortable talking to me, and when she tried, I'd shut her down. The situation between us lies at both of our feet, but there's a big part of it that is mine alone. "I'm sorry," I whisper.
"Don't be sorry, Cain. Everything we've gone through has led us here. We're talking, we had an amazing time last night. I would love to have another night like that soon, if you're willing to."
My stomach lurches with the hope that she's going to get rid of those divorce papers. They haven't been filed yet, so I can only assume they're still sitting in some drawer, or she's got them in the center console of her car waiting to mail them off. My brain wishes last night made a difference, but I'm not sure. She's a closed book, not nearly the person she was the first couple of years of our marriage. But she's opening up to me in a way she hasn't the past few years, and if she's willing to do that, then I'm willing to do whatever I have to. "I'd love that, but is it possible that I can take you to dinner first? I'm still trying to eat enough to give me back the calories I burned last night."
Her cheeks are pink, and her eyes shine. "I'd love that, but we're going to have to talk about times. I have a live stream tonight."
Okay Cain, now you're going to have to act like you haven't been watching her the last few months. "What's that?" I ask, playing dumb.
She crosses her arms over her chest, her finger fidgeting with a string on the arm of her shirt. "Ummm..."
This is someone who doesn't want to admit what she's been doing, if I've ever seen it. "Don't forget, I'm a cop, and I can tell when you're avoiding me by your body language. Why don't you just come off with whatever it is you're planning on doing tonight?"
A big sigh moves her chest up and down. "Okay, fuck. You're so hard to keep shit from."
"I'm used to getting the truth out of people, Ris." I laugh.
"I do Facebook livestreams with my books. Actually, with special editions." She holds up a finger and goes over to a shelf in the back. "Like this."
Now this is the type of book I haven't seen on her streams before. Granted, I haven't watched all of them, and it's not as if I'm there for every single one, but this is really cool. It looks as if a hologram is on the words, and it's like one of those hardcovers my grandma used to get when she would read romance novels back in the day. "What makes it glitter like that in the light as you move it?"
"It's holographic foil." She runs her hand over it. "And then these are sprayed edges." She turns it to the side. "See the pattern?"
I nod, amazed at what I'm watching. "Yeah, that's cool."
"They're very popular, and some of them are hard to get. Believe it or not, these special editions are what keep the lights on here. I ship all over the United States." She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth.
"It sounds like you're busy."
"I am, but it's everything I always wanted." She grins.
What does she mean by that? Marissa had another job while we were living together, and there's a part of me that wants to ask. There's another part of me that's worried she's going to say words that hurt me. "Can I be around for the live stream? See what you do, and then we can go to dinner?
"Sure." Her eyes heat up. "Then we can see where the night takes us?"
Reaching out, I hook my hands around her waist, pulling her into me. Wrapping an arm tightly around her, I move my free hand to her chin, tilting it down. Lower my voice, I sweep in, kissing her like I own her mouth. "Yeah, we'll see where it takes us." In my mind it's going to be straight back to her bed.