9. Julia
9
JULIA
I tossed and turned most of the night, struggling with how much I liked what had happened between us. He was a Rose, a deplorable man with a villainous history and I should not enjoy fucking him—especially not like that. But every time I moved, I ached between the legs, and it reminded me of how adequately he’d split me open.
I still felt his hands in my hair, and when I rolled out of bed the next morning, there were bruises on my shoulders and neck from where he’d gripped me hard to rail into me deeper. They should have repulsed me, but a sick smile pulled at my lips and a demented sense of accomplishment rattled down my chest.
You should be ashamed of yourself, whispered my mother from beyond the grave. I couldn’t imagine what my father would have thought. His only daughter, his princess, married to a Rose. Not just any Rose, but the prince. The heir apparent. The new president.
If you’re the king of this ruthless reign, then I’m your queen.
We’d made that official last night, and even if it was only pretend… practice… my stomach fluttered with the thought of doing it again. I didn’t even care if it started as a fight. In fact, I preferred to get him all wound up and flustered. I liked it rough with him. I liked when he took control, when he forced me into submission and held me there in his capable hands.
For the first time in a long time, I almost felt… safe. He had the power to hurt me, to kill me, but he wouldn’t. Not only that, but he wouldn’t let anyone else do it, either. I’d slapped him and held a knife to his throat, but all he did in return was smile and lean in. It was maniacal, certainly, but also strangely comforting. I existed in a world of madness, and my marriage to the Rose president had become a tentative safety net.
Still, I didn’t trust him completely, and now I knew I couldn’t trust myself around him. Even if I wanted to like him, even if I wanted to lose myself in the ridiculous emotions bubbling in my chest, I couldn’t. I was cursed. Anyone I loved had been eventually killed by my family, and of them all, Roman walked precariously closer to the edge. Gabriella would get a great thrill in dispatching him in front of me, torturing him until my heart gave out.
No, I needed to keep that stupid, tedious organ protected. There could be no fluttering romantic notions between us. Roman and I had an understanding, nothing more.
I dressed and did my makeup (leaving his marks exposed) and ensured I smelled amazing before heading downstairs for breakfast. As usual, he’d already cooked and now stood on the other side of the island in jeans and a white T-shirt. I’d grown up around men who wore suits unless they were sleeping, so the sight of him in such casual clothing should not have sent such an ache down my spine. Yet, there I stood, raking my gaze down to his boots and back up again, shivering with the memories of last night.
“Good morning,” he said, sipping his coffee. He ran the length of me with a heated stare, pausing for a moment on my neck before reaching my eyes. “How’d you sleep?”
“Fine,” I lied, walking toward the coffeepot. “You?”
“Hmm,” he hummed, straightening so he could turn to face me as I squeezed between him and the counter. “Let me see.”
Roman grabbed my shoulder to twist me around, ghosting his fingers over my throat to my jaw, holding my head in place while he assessed the bruise. “I got you good here, huh?”
I wanted to whip out of his hold, to shove him away, and smack him for having the audacity to touch me without asking first. But when I glanced up at him, sincerity echoed out of his dark brown eyes, a heady mix of playfulness and care that turned my insides to jelly.
“Don’t worry about it,” I said. “Leo will see it and know what it is. He’ll leave us alone for a while.”
“I don’t give a fuck what Leo thinks,” Roman said, taking a step closer to me, bombarding me with his ambrosial smell and the hard plane of his chest. “Are you okay with it?” He cleared his throat. “With what happened last night?”
“I told you I was fine,” I said, glancing down to the ground, avoiding his stern gaze. But he put his finger under my chin to tilt my face back to his.
“And then you isolated yourself for the rest of the night,” he said. “I’m sorry I went so rough on you. I shouldn’t have done that. I should have?—”
“I liked it,” I admitted, the words tumbling out of my clumsy mouth before I could hush them. “I just…I shouldn’t have.”
“Why?” He raised an eyebrow. “Because I’m a disgusting Rose coward?”
I licked my lips and smiled. “Yes. Exactly that.”
“Hmm.” He nodded again and ran his thumb over my bottom lip, sending shocks down to my toes and back up again. I almost wilted, and I focused on his mouth, remembering the way he’d consumed mine so skillfully. “Are you ready for today?”
Right.
We’d have to enact my plan, the entire reason we’d ended up in that situation to begin with. We’d have to pretend to like each other in front of his club, to play the part of the happy couple to convince everyone that this alliance was real, that we wouldn’t end up killing each other in the end.
Jury’s still out on that.
I nodded. “Yes.”
“There’s a good girl.” He leaned in to kiss my forehead before grabbing his coffee and moving around me to the microwave. I ignored the way his praise made my heart beat faster, telling myself it had nothing to do with him and was more representative of the trauma in my life that had developed into a despicable praise kink. He grabbed a plate of food and sat it down in front of me, nodding to it while he took a long sip of caffeine. “Eat. You’ll need your strength.”
I sat and picked up a fork to follow his command. That, too, I ignored. It felt good to listen to him. I was relieved to not have to think about it, to just sit and eat and know he’d provide for me. How long had it been since I’d been so cared for?
Christ, girl. It’s just eggs. Stop fawning.
“Before I bring you into that room, there are some things you should know about the club.” He put his hands out to either side of the island and leaned on it, his shirt pulling around his muscles, making him seem big and domineering and strong.
So amazingly strong.
“Okay,” I said before biting into a strawberry.
“Most of the leadership is on my side. KC, Hollywood, Thor, and Wheels, they’re all good men. They’re in favor of ending this war by any means necessary, and they approved of our marriage.”
I nodded, memorizing the information while I ate.
“But there are others…Stallion, Reaper, Lunchbox, and maybe Doc, who are against it. I don’t know what they’ll do to prove they’re right. Stallion has been sending messages to the president of a rival MC—The Hell’s Knights.”
That sent a shock of anxiety through my belly, and I stopped chewing to take a sip of coffee, glancing up at him. Gabriella had worked with them last year. They’d wanted revenge on Crow and had arranged to abduct V as payment for information. Gabriella had been all too eager to accept. “Do you believe they’re mutinous?”
He crossed his arms and my focus dropped to the veins accenting his muscles. How had God made someone so beautiful and so completely horrid?
“Perhaps,” he said. “Doc says he’s changed his mind, but that he questioned it at all gave the others leeway to dissent. I don’t have any evidence against Stallion and Reaper yet, but I will.”
“How does the MC usually handle people like that?” I took another bite of eggs, but the taste turned sour when he didn’t immediately answer.
He ran his tongue over his lips and drank his coffee, and I understood what he didn’t say. In this, the Caputis and the Roses were similar. Should a coup be unsuccessful, any members of such a resistance would magically disappear. I looked at Roman’s hands again, wondering how much Rose blood they had spilled in addition to Caputi.
He is a bad, bad man.
“But,” Roman continued, “I think your idea is a good one. And when I tell the others that it is your idea, that should earn some respect.”
“Aren’t you upset that our expensive decadent wedding will be used as a trap?” It wasn’t like I’d been particularly looking forward to it, but it was my wedding. And the only one I’d ever get unless something happened to Roman.
He sighed and let out a sad laugh. “I just want the war to end. I’m tired of losing people.”
That, at least, we could agree on.
We talked while I ate, and he told me about his family. I’d already met his siblings, of course, but he had a special glimmer in his eye when he mentioned his father. I knew Gabriella had worked with the FBI to get Crow locked up, but seeing the effect it had on Roman made my heart strangely heavy. He clearly missed him, and that he wouldn’t be at our nuptials, even if they were a ruse, made him melancholic.
“I’m sure he’d be proud of you,” I said. Roman glanced up at me with his eyebrows raised, surprise in his expression. “As far as cowardly Roses can be proud of each other, that is.”
He glowered before shaking his head and laughing. I helped him clean up, and after that, we headed to the clubhouse. I still refused to get on the back of a motorcycle, so he drove us in his truck. Much to my immense astonishment, we continued our conversation the entire way there. He showed me places he’d grown up: his middle school, his high school, the place he’d taken his first girlfriend—though all they did was make out.
“She let me touch her boobs though,” he said with a grin.
Heat flushed my cheeks, and I laughed at a younger version of him finally feeling up a girl for the first time. Then, my memories went to last night and how those strong, capable hands had held me, had played with my breasts, had touched me with such deliberate competence. Perhaps I owed that girl my thanks.
When we got to the clubhouse, he put the truck in park and looked at me. “Are you ready?”
I understood what he meant, and it wasn’t just sitting in the corner the way I had the last few weeks. We would have to pretend. We would put on the act and show the others that we were completely in this marriage, and they’d have to deal with it.
“Absolutely,” I said, opening the truck door to climb out. When we got to the door, he held his hand to me with that adorable grin on his lips, and I pushed down my girlish response to that, placing my palm in his. He led me into the clubhouse, and I took a deep breath at the eyes that immediately flicked to us.
For being so early in the day, the place was packed. My focus immediately went to V, Selene, and Alba by the bar, and normally, I would have taken an empty seat by them. But Roman squeezed my palm and rubbed a circle over my skin with his thumb before bringing it to his face so he could kiss my knuckles.
“Come with me, little wife,” he said, nodding toward the back room. I followed his lead, never letting go of him, and five sets of eyes looked at us when we walked through the entry. KC, Hollywood, Thor, Doc, and Wheels sat around the table, each with a different expression. Thor and Wheels seemed impassive, Hollywood smirked, and KC grinned in that jovial way of his. But Doc eyed me with suspicion, inhaling a cigarette before stabbing it out in the ashtray.
“Morning, prez,” Hollywood said before glancing at me. “Lady prez.”
“Morning,” Roman said, walking over to his spot at the head of the table. He sat and opened his legs, gesturing me into his lap, the same as he’d done last night. Gulping and trying not to seem nervous, I sat before pushing my hair behind my shoulders. One of his hands settled on my lower back, the other splayed out on the table in front of him.
KC looked at me before shifting his gaze back to Roman. “This is new.”
“She’s in this with us,” Roman said. “She’s the one who knows Gabriella the best, the one who has the best source of inside information. We can’t do it without her.”
“And Leo?” Thor asked.
“Leo will be here any second,” Roman said, raising an eyebrow in expectation, like he’d been waiting for anyone to disagree.
“So we’re just bringing old ladies into church now?” Doc blew out a disbelieving breath.
“She’s not just an old lady. She’s my wife, so watch your fucking mouth,” Roman argued. “She’s been feeding us information for years. We need her to bring down the enemy.”
“ Her aunt.” Doc shook his head. “You wanted me to get Stallion and the others on our side. This is not the way to do it.”
“I don’t give a fuck what you or Stallion think. If you don’t like it, challenge me.” Roman’s features remained stoic. “How about it? Do you need a reminder why my road name is Bear?”
Doc took a deep breath and let it out through his nose. “I’m not that stupid, but Stallion and Reaper are fucking idiots, especially if they got Lunchbox involved. They’re having a hard time with all this.”
“That’s why she’s here,” Roman continued, giving me a little hug. “The more they see her, the more they understand her brilliant mind, the more they’ll come around.”
Doc shifted in his seat but didn’t argue. The door to the back room slid open and my brother walked through, flanked on either side by his bodyguards. He wore an impeccable suit and loafers with his hair brushed back, the same uniform I’d seen him in my entire life.
“Well, well, well,” he said when he set eyes on me. “What do we have here?”
“Brother,” I said when he leaned down to plant a kiss on my temple. “It’s good to see you.”
“You too.” Leo looked at Roman. “To what do we owe this great honor?”
Roman reiterated that I was the one who knew Gabriella the best, and I tried not to balk under Leo’s scrutiny. His focus zeroed in on the bite mark on my neck and he grinned, apparently giving it no more thought than that.
“Very well,” he said, taking up a spot to Roman’s left. And when no one else said anything, Roman shifted me closer to his body and nodded at Hollywood. “Where are we?”
“Lore and the others reached Helena last night,” he said. “The Royal Bastards send their love.”
“Fantastic,” Roman said. “What else?”
“Switch and Castor have reported that the Hell’s Knights are getting closer,” Thor explained. “I’m keeping an eye on the comms going in and out, but everyone’s being careful.”
Roman nodded and listened as Wheels gave a financial update and KC filled him in on the rest of the MC. “We need a plan, something to tell them, something to keep them engaged.”
“Well, it’s a good thing I married who I did.” Roman smiled up at me. “My wife has a good idea. I want to run it past you before I take it to the group. If we decide it’s worthwhile, we’ll start working on it as soon as possible.” Roman looked at me and brushed a piece of hair behind my ear. “Go on, beautiful. Tell them.”
I took a deep breath and faced these violent men with their steel gazes, reiterating to them the same thing I’d said to Roman last night. Gabriella wouldn’t be easy to trap, especially not since her plans went sour four months ago. We needed to lure her out, give her a reason to come out of hiding. Our wedding would be the perfect opportunity.
“It’ll be crawling with Roses,” Thor said. “We have four different chapters coming in to stand guard.”
“She won’t be able to resist,” I explained. “If Leo is the one who walks me down the aisle, if we spread rumors that he’ll be there, she’ll come to the bait.”
“I have to say, dear sister,” Leo started, letting out a short laugh, “this is quite daring.”
“It will work,” I said.
“Oh, I have no doubt of that,” he continued. “If we can hold her off that long.”
“Do you think we can’t?” I raised my eyebrows at him, anticipating what his argument might be. Based on what Della had told me, Gabriella was losing her grip on her allies. She could have spiraled even more since the Roses spoiled her plans, and if she’d lost control of the family, she’d have nothing left to lose. That would make her a wild card.
“No, I think it is a brilliant idea,” Leo continued. “She’ll come with the whole family, and if we do our job right, they’ll turn on her when it matters most.”
Roman shifted in his seat with a pleased smile before turning to his officers. “Well? What do you all think?”
KC ran a hand over the back of his head, his brilliant blue eyes wide as the wheels churned behind them. “A Rose wedding is meant to be more than a trap for our enemies. It’s your opportunity to show the club that you’re tied, that you’re one.”
“They’re already married,” Hollywood argued. “Neither one of them wanted this, and if it’ll put an end to the madness and put Leo back on the throne, why wouldn’t we do whatever we can?”
KC shook his head. “Inviting them onto our turf, giving Gabriella any chance at our family, I don’t like it.”
“Seconded,” Doc cut in.
Roman looked at the man on his left. “Thor?”
The big blond Viking shook his head and ran a hand over his face. “I don’t know. I’m inclined to agree with KC, but I can’t think of another way to draw her out.”
“I have Rocco, Enzo, and Matteo in cahoots,” Leo said, mentioning the underbosses he’d gotten on our side. “Stefano and Frankie are coming around. Rancone and Davila are right behind them.”
“Davila is playing both sides,” I said, explaining the information Titus had given to me. “He wants more money.”
Leo blew out a breath and shook his head. “No problem. If he won’t come around, I’ll replace him.”
“You won’t be able to win the underbosses by killing the ones that don’t agree with you,” I said. “We’re trying to stop the bloodshed, not create more.”
“What do you suggest, mia sorella?”
“What about Sulli?” He was our father’s cousin on his mother’s side, and the patriarch of that arm of the family. If we were trying to make the biggest show of force, we’d have no choice but to get his buy-in. “If you get Sulli, you get Davila. They’ve always played hand in hand.”
“You know Sulli’s always been ambitious,” Leo said. “If Gabriella is out of the way, he’ll want the seat for himself.”
“Can you convince him you’re the better option?” Roman asked.
Leo pursed his lips and nodded. “I’ll work on it.”
Roman returned his attention to his officers. “Wheels, what do you think about this plan?”
“I say do it,” he said, crossing his arms. “Take it to the club, get their approval. I don’t want to ever stare up at that bitch from my knees again.”
“I agree,” KC cut in. “But Bear, this is— If it goes sideways, if she comes heavily armed, if she makes another deal with the Kings of Carnage or the Hell’s Knights, we’re putting our entire family at risk.”
“Do you have a better idea?” Roman asked. “Short of storming her castle and executing anyone in our way?—”
“Not an option,” I said. “There are good people there. Not everyone in my family is as bloodthirsty as she is.”
“So you’re asking me to choose between your family and mine?” KC raised his eyebrows. “That’s not a difficult decision.”
“Hey,” Roman said. “We’re all family now. That was the whole point of this, wasn’t it?” He gestured between me and him.
KC sighed and lit a cigarette. “All right, brother. I trust you.” Then he looked at me before glancing at Leo. “But if it comes down to my wife or your family, don’t expect me to put Alba’s life?—”
“No one is expecting that,” Roman said. “This is going to work.”
“Yeah?” KC exhaled a deep cloud of smoke. “How can you be so sure?”
“Because it has to,” Roman replied. “We don’t have another choice.”