20. Julia
20
JULIA
“ D o I need to kill him?” Leo asked, sitting across from me at the dining room table in his kitchen. He’d come to the Beacon personally to pick me up two nights ago, and I’d refused to talk more about it. Now, he demanded an explanation, and I didn’t know how to tell him it was my fault.
“No,” I said. “He didn’t do anything.”
My brother narrowed his eyes and drummed his fingers on the table while he took a sip of coffee. The glint of the silver on his rings reminded me of the monstrosity on my left third finger, the one I secretly loved, the one I hadn’t taken off yet.
“Then why are you here?” Leo raised his eyebrows. “Two weeks ago, you were keeping me awake all night. Now you won’t take his calls?”
“How do you know I won’t take his calls?”
Leo snorted. “He asks about you when I go to the clubhouse.”
That made the sinking feeling in my gut turn to lead, and tears built in the corners of my eyes again. I’d been crying for two whole days, and I felt so foolish.
I did love him, and being without him, even for only forty-eight hours, had carved out a giant chunk out of my heart. I’d gotten used to sleeping next to him, his massive arms holding me through my darkest dreams. Without him, they came back with a vengeance. I didn’t know how much I needed him until he was gone, and it was all my fault. My stomach had soured, and I’d done nothing but cry and vomit since I left.
“ Mia sorella.” Leo reached across the table and grabbed my hand, squeezing it tenderly. “You look terrible. He looks terrible. Tell me what’s going on so I know whether to change our plans. If I need to kill all the Roses, that is a different conversation with our uncles.”
“No, we don’t need to do that,” I said. “It’s nothing serious, Leo, honestly.”
“If it’s not that serious, tell me. Let me share this burden with you.”
I took a deep breath. “You’ll think it’s stupid.”
“Probably,” he said with a laugh. “Tell me anyway.”
“He told me he loved me,” I said.
Leo raised his eyebrows, waiting for me to go on. When I didn’t, he twisted his features in confusion. “Do you think he was lying?”
“No,” I said, sniffling while I wiped my face. “He meant it. He gave me this beautiful ring.” I showed it to my brother.
“Julia,” he said with a small chuckle. “What are you doing?”
“It wasn’t supposed to be like this,” I said. “Titus says Gabriella is bringing all her allies. We’ll be outnumbered. He’ll get shot. He’ll die.”
“You don’t know that,” Leo said.
“Hugo,” I said. “Vittori. They all died because of me.”
“Vittori died as a result of our father,” he said. “Hugo was because of Gabriella.”
“Because I loved them,” I said. “I loved them and they died.”
Leo took a deep breath and grabbed my hands again, holding them with both of his. “You must stop this madness. You’re married to him, and there’s no changing that.”
“I can live here,” I said.
Leo laughed harder, and I had to physically restrain myself from slapping him. “No.”
“What? Why?” I couldn’t believe this. My brother was my most trusted adviser, my best friend. Would he not have me?
“Because after the wedding, I’m moving back to our home and you will go back to your husband. You signed a contract saying you would live with him.”
My cheeks burned because he was right. That was something we’d had to agree upon.
“He will keep you safe.”
“Leo,” I said, shaking my head, blinking against my blurry vision. “I’m in love with him, too.”
“That’s wonderful ,” he said, and I sobbed harder. He stood and walked over to me, scooting the chair by my side so he could wrap his arms around me. “Why are you crying?”
“If I love him and he dies, I don’t know what I’ll do. Any man I love ends up in the ground. Call it fate, call it karma, but our family is cursed. You know this.”
“Tsk. Stop being so superstitious.” He sucked in air through his teeth and grabbed my face, holding it up so I had to look at him. “I would not have allowed you to marry him if I thought that.”
I furrowed my brows, confused. “What?”
“He is the leader of a pack of wolves,” he said. “The king of lions. If he’s in love with you, he would walk through fire to get to you. I know this because I am the same way. The Caputis and the Roses are two sides of the same coin.”
I bit back another sob as my brother wiped the tears off my cheeks.
“They are rough around the edges and ride motorcycles and dress in leather, but they have a code similar to ours. We do not allow disrespect. We do not allow treachery or libel. And we protect our women. They protect us.”
“What happens if I lose him?” I said. “I won’t survive it.”
“Yes, you will,” he said. “Because you are Julia Caputi, and you have survived this far.”
I hugged my brother so tight I thought I might suffocate him, but he only squeezed me back just as hard.
“Come with me to the clubhouse tonight,” he said. “All of the chapters have rallied. They need to see you two together. They need to know your marriage is strong.”
I took a deep breath and nodded, my stomach churning at the thought of seeing my husband again after the way I’d left things. But I could pretend. I’d been doing it this long. I could put up my guard and continue to keep him safe.
Tires crunched on the driveway outside, and Leo broke away to check it out. His bodyguards poked their heads inside to alert us that our uncles had arrived. I swiped under my eyes again and took a deep breath to freshen myself before facing these zions of Caputi power.
“And for the love of all my sanity, and yours, stop with this cursed bloodline nonsense. Roman is not Hugo or Vittori. You are allowed to love him,” Leo said before turning toward the door and opening his arms. “Sulli! Frankie!”
I glanced up at the men in front of my brother. Uncle Sulli was my father’s cousin on his mother’s side, practically a brother to Giuseppe Caputi and an uncle to me and Leo. Uncle Frankie was Chesco’s father and my father’s younger brother. The Caputi resemblance was uncanny. All of us had deep-tanned skin and dark brown hair. We’d all inherited the Caputi nose, even Chesco, who came in behind his father and pulled me into a hug.
“Leo,” Sulli said. “It’s good to see you sober and healthy.”
“Thank you,” Leo said, gesturing to the living room. “Please, come in. Get comfortable. Can we get you anything to drink? I don’t keep scotch in the house, but I can send?—”
“Water would be great,” Frankie said.
Chesco helped me get the glasses while Leo, Sulli, and Frankie went into the other room.
“Did you talk to him?” I asked my cousin, keeping my voice low so the other men didn’t hear.
“Of course,” he said. “Otherwise, we wouldn’t be here.”
“Was he agreeable?”
“Define agreeable.” Chesco winked, grabbed the water bottle with one hand, and three glasses with the other before walking into the living room with our family. I followed behind him with the rest.
“Getting rid of Gabriella will be harder than simply rooting her out,” Sulli said.
I bit back my surprise. They’d jumped right into business. Usually, my family liked to beat around the bush until the cigars were lit and the scotch was half gone. Since this was a sober event, perhaps they’d decided to cut right to the chase.
“But you agree she does need to be removed,” Leo said. “As Giuseppe’s only surviving son, that honor falls to me.”
Frankie tsked and leaned back on the sofa, taking a drink of the water after I handed it to him. “That’s if Julian were still alive.”
I swallowed down the wave of shame and grief that usually accompanied the mention of our elder brother. Alba’s husband, KC, had killed him in defense of his sister, and if he hadn’t, Julian likely would have killed both of them. We needed to end this once and for all.
“Well, he’s not. And I’m all we’ve got,” Leo said.
“Benito and Giuseppe have two remaining brothers,” Frankie said. “One of them is sitting in this room.”
“And numerous cousins,” Sulli added.
“You’re both itching for retirement,” Leo said with a scowl. “You have been for years. You don’t want this action.”
I took a hesitant drink of water as another wave of nausea rolled through me. I tried to focus on the conversation, especially when it veered toward the wedding arrangements.
“Everything is set,” I said. “My final fitting is tomorrow. The cake, the rings, all of it has been completed. We’re just waiting for the guest of honor.”
“How many people will be there?” Sulli said.
“How many of Gabriella’s associates are planning to come?” Leo cut in, answering for me.
Sulli and Frankie exchanged a look, one that said so much without saying anything at all. They still weren’t sure about this alliance. They had spent a lot longer fighting the Roses and had lost more because of it.
“We need to focus on expanding our business,” Chesco added. “Letting bygones be bygones. I thirst for Rose blood as much as any respectable Caputi. But we have more important things to worry about.”
Sulli sighed and Frankie nodded, seeming to agree with that.
“Sulli, you married a Romano for a family alliance when they came poaching on our territory,” I said. “How many of your cousins did Dean Romano kill personally?”
Sulli shook his head. “Too many, but you’re right. Now, he’s one of my best friends.”
That might be hyperbole because I wasn’t sure Sulli had any friends, but I dropped it.
“And Frankie,” I said. “You planned to marry Chesco to a Chekov to keep the Russians from snooping into our business with the cartel.”
“God, don’t remind me,” Chesco said, rolling his eyes.
“Our family has settled disputes far greater than this before,” I said. “The Roses are under new leadership. It’s time we do the same. We can accomplish so much more if we work together. Leo has the network, the support, and the mindset to do that.”
Sulli and Frankie looked at each other once more before settling their combined stares on me.
“We will support him,” Frankie said.
Leo smiled and leaned back in his seat.
“As long as you help him,” Sulli added.
“What?” I said at the same time Leo added a quick, “Of course.”
They wanted me to help him? I would admit, of the two of us, I’d always been the brains behind the operation. Even when Julian was alive and we were children, I’d always come up with good ideas and they executed them. What were the Caputi brothers without their brilliant sister?
“Julia is going nowhere,” Leo said, winking at me. “She’s the queen of the Roses, the link between our new alliance.”
I tried not to let my surprise show, but of course. I could no more do this without Leo than he could do it without me. We’d been together all our lives, and now that we had our uncles on our side, we talked about next steps. Despite loving Gabriella as a sister, Frankie and Sulli both agreed her time at the helm was at an end. There was always the possibility they were lying to us, purposely setting us up only to pull the rug out from under us at the wedding. But why would they do that?
They had nothing to gain. They already had Gabriella’s loyalty. Even meeting with us would cause her wrath. With them on board, we now had most of the family. The Morellis, the Vitales, and the Romanos would follow suit, as would the underbosses. We had four days to get everything else settled before the wedding, and after that, we would bring in a new world for both the Caputis and the Roses.
Several hours later, after everything had been negotiated and defined, we said goodbye to our uncles and prepared for the next phase. Leo eyed me with that mix of skepticism and judgment, but I ignored him. I could admit I’d been too traumatized by what happened to me before to come to grips with how my new situation might be different. My feelings for Roman were deep and complicated, and even if I’d grown up in a cursed family, perhaps we might make it out of this after all.
I went upstairs to my room and checked my phone, but Roman hadn’t contacted me today. I debated biting the bullet and calling him, but what could I say? He deserved an explanation, but that would be better in person. I had sixteen texts from Della, each becoming more frantic.
Della: Gabriella is getting restless. I think she knows something’s up.
Della: Did you meet with Sulli and Frankie?
Della: Jules, I need your help.
Leo and Roman had told me not to give up the game, to continue like nothing had happened. But it pained me to do it. She was my best friend, my cousin, and she betrayed me. She was still betraying me. It had been a hard lesson to learn that family didn’t mean blood, and blood didn’t mean family. But learned it, I had.
Blood of the covenant is thicker than water of the womb.
My father used to say that, but only recently had I learned the weight of its true meaning. Sighing, I replied to her, trying to be as nonchalant and as cryptic as I could. Then, I scrolled to Roman’s name in my contact list and hovered my finger over the green button to call him. But I hesitated because once I relented to this ache in my heart, there would be no going back.
How was I supposed to keep him safe when I loved him entirely too much for anyone’s good?