Chapter 16
I don’t sleep a wink.Instead, I sit by the windowsill, staring at the drizzly, empty streets below. My mind races, stuck on a loop.
What the hell was I thinking, letting Roman touch me like that? It was reckless and impulsive—a result of getting swept up in the night”s debauchery—but it was also crazy hot. Before last night, no man had ever made me orgasm.
His gaze as I walked around the club was its own form of foreplay. When he dragged me into a dark corner and whispered his desire against my neck, I couldn’t resist him. I was keyed up, primed, and so ready for his touch.
The instant his body pressed against mine, everything else ceased to exist. There was only the electrifying connection between us. Even if it’s a connection we can never act on again.
I lean my forehead against the windowsill, trying to cool the heat of my sins, but nothing will erase tonight from my memory. The way he pulled me against his hard body and let his fingers wander between my legs. His strong hands kneading my breasts. Him using my body to get off, wiping the proof of his possession on my lips afterward.
I should have been horrified; instead, I was ridiculously turned on.
Thank God Kira was lost in her own lust-fueled haze. I”m pretty sure she spent the ride back to the hotel sexting Maxim, then she vanished into her room as soon as we got back to the penthouse.
I also disappeared before I could exchange a word with Roman. What would I say? He knows as well as I do that there will never be a repeat performance. It was a moment of weakness for both of us, and I hope like hell we’ll never speak of it again.
The one consolation is that Roman has as much at stake as I do. He won’t jeopardize the deal with the Petrovitches. It would be foolish.
We’ll both take this sin to the grave.
Roman isn’t the only indiscretion that’s keeping me awake. There’s also Paulina’s offer.
Two things have become clear to me over the last twenty-four hours: first, I”d do anything to escape Anatoly; and second, I’m more gutsy than I realized. If I can take pleasure in a dark corner of a sex club, I can sell my virginity to the highest bidder.
It’s crazy to even consider, but desperation has taken root, and I can”t pass up what may be my only chance at freedom. For my future, my sanity, and my sister, doing nothing is not an option.
Sure, the idea of sex with a stranger—one depraved enough to bid on someone’s innocence like it’s a prize to be won—twists my stomach. But what’s one night of selling my body compared to a lifetime with a man that sickens me?
Am I na?ve to believe Anatoly will allow me to leave him? Possibly. But maybe he’ll realize I’m not worth the trouble, that I’m too much work. He could take the money and be done with me. There are plenty of other women who would worship the ground he walks on, but I’ll never be one of them.
I reach for my cell and pull up the investment app I have well hidden on my phone. I’ve been trading in hundreds of dollars, but if I go through with the auction, I would have so much more to work with. Could I turn one hundred thousand dollars into a million dollars in just under three weeks?
It’s a long shot. A very long shot, but I have to at least try.
Officially giving up on sleep, I prop up in bed and spend the next two hours crunching numbers and strategizing. Day trading—rapidly buying and selling high-risk stocks—seems to be the best way to make a lot of money quickly, even though it”s risky. I could lose everything. But as the saying goes: the bigger the risk, the bigger the reward.
I”m willing to take my chances.
If this works, I won’t have to walk down the aisle toward Anatoly. I’ll gain my freedom and independence without dragging Kira or anyone else into the nightmare that is my life.
But if I fail? I’ll have no choice but to go through with the marriage, given how much money we owe his family. If we can”t repay them, I have a terrible feeling he’d set his sights on Sofiya and my parents won’t stop him.
The only way for the plan to work is to keep it under wraps. I’ll invest in secret and hope like hell that I can make enough money to free myself before the wedding.
Anatoly is abusive. I’ve hesitated to use that term because it”s hard to admit, even to myself, but there’s no better word for it. I need to confront the fact that his abuse—whether emotional or physical—will only get worse.
Staring at Paulina’s business card, I see a sliver of light in the darkness for the first time in what feels like forever.
Kira is sittingat the dining room table, having breakfast, when I join her around eight. I’ve showered and changed, and hopefully, I don’t look as ragged as I feel because I need her to believe the story I’m about to tell.
“Good morning,” I greet her, flashing a big smile as I sit down at the table.
“Coffee?” She holds up the carafe.
“Definitely.” I nod, grateful.
Feliks and Bogdan are nowhere to be seen, but Roman is in the next room, a phone pressed to his ear. His back is to us, and he”s staring out the window, speaking in a hushed tone.
“How did you sleep?” Kira eyes me carefully.
“Fine, actually.” I reach for a croissant. “You?”
“Like the dead.” She takes a minute to stir milk into her tea before her eyes meet mine. “I hope you weren’t weirded out about last night. I just wanted you to experience something different. Once we leave today…” She shrugs. “Everything will change.”
“Exactly,” I say emphatically. “Which is why I think we should stay one more day. What do you think? We could visit that little shop in Kensington you liked and check out Covent Garden Market.” I hold my breath, eager for her to agree.
Kira’s face falls. “I’d love to, but I can’t. Maxim and I have a fundraising event tonight that we can’t miss.” She pauses in thought, then her eyes widen. “But you can stay! The suite is yours for as long as you want it, and I’m sure one of the men can stay and guard you.”
I shake my head. “That’s entirely unnecessary. I’ll be fine without a guard,” I insist.
Kira looks like she’s about to argue, but another voice fills the space between us.
“Who’s going without a guard?” Roman steps into the room, looking extra delicious. His dark brown hair is still wet from the shower, curling slightly over the top of his collar. He swipes a muffin from the tray on the table and lowers down beside me.
My heart beats triple time when I get a whiff of his aftershave. Memories from last night come flooding back.
Roman’s gaze travels over me as heat rises to my cheeks.
“No one is going without a guard.” Kira sends me a pointed look, and it takes me a minute to remember what we’re talking about. To Roman, she says, “Liza’s going to extend her holiday for a few days. Who can stay with her? Feliks?”
Roman’s jaw hardens. “I don’t think so. He’ll be busy overseeing a shipment coming from Italy.”
Kira’s eyebrows pull together. “Okay… Bogdan, then?”
“Mmm, nope. He’ll be with you and Maxim at the fundraiser.” Roman takes a big bite of the muffin in his hand and blinks at Kira blankly.
“It’s fine,” I say to my friend. “Really, I’m good.”
Kira looks unsure, but she can’t force a guard on me. I’m about to call the matter settled when Roman scrapes his chair back, the sound echoing off the walls in the small room.
“I can’t leave you without a guard,” he says plainly.
Irritations blazes up my spine. “Says who?”
“Says Maxim Belov. I was put in charge of both of your safety. As a soon- to-be Petrovich, you’re a high-value target.”
I”m sure Anatoly will be furious to learn that I’m spending another day in London, but I have no intention of giving him advance warning. I”d rather ask for his forgiveness than permission. But it seems Roman might be a thorn in my side.
My fingers tighten around the handle of my mug. I give Roman a warning look, but he continues to eat his muffin, completely unfazed.
Kira sighs. “In that case, surely we can clear Feliks’s sched?—”
Roman clears his throat. “I’ll stay.”
My breath hitches. Roman is going to stay here with me … alone? My brain scrambles to make sense of what that means.
Kira tilts her head. “Really?”
I’m still too shocked to respond.
Roman lifts a shoulder. “Why not? What’s a day or two more? The shipment is not due for a few days, and I can coordinate everything from here.”
I try to be casual. “I’m sure you have better things to do. I’m happy to plant myself in the hotel spa for a few days. Security in the hotel is top-notch, so you won’t have to worry about me. I don’t want to inconvenience anyone.”
“It’s not an inconvenience.” He takes another huge bite of his muffin, watching me as he chews.
I shoot Kira a pleading look.
She throws her hands in the air. “I don’t mean to be a mother hen, but what does it hurt to have a guard?”
This is not good, not good at all, but arguing it any further would be suspicious. Not that I believe Roman’s casual “I’ve got nothing better to do”act.
Is he staying because he wants something more to happen between us? A shot of something hot fills my veins. While that idea is thrilling, I’m here for one purpose only.
With just him and me alone in the suite, slipping away unnoticed won”t be simple. I’ll have to be crafty.
“So it’s settled.” Kira pats her lips with her napkin, looking from Roman to me. “You’ll both stay for another day or two. I’ll send the plane back so you can use it to fly home when you’re ready.”
Roman crosses his arms, looking way too smug. When I finally meet his eyes with a hard stare, he raises his brows.
“Thank you,” I say with a bright smile. “Guess I’m just not ready for the fun to end.”
Kira narrows her eyes. “Does this have something to do with avoiding wedding planning?”
“That might have something to do with it,” I mutter.
Kira stands and loops her arms around my neck. “I’m happy you’re doing something for yourself. You deserve this, you know—a little more time, a little space.”
Guilt pierces through my chest at how easily lies slip off my tongue. But I’m doing what I have to do.
“I’ll make the best of my time here,” I say and mean it.