Chapter 10
HARPER
“You can come home whenever you want, sweetie,” my mother assures me as if I need to be told twice.
I love spending time with my parents. I’d take a home-cooked meal over cafeteria slop any day, but both of them work so hard running their cleaning business, the last thing I want is to be a burden to them.
That’s why I worked so hard for my scholarship, and why I live off-campus, so I can save up every little bit of money I have to buy the things I need over asking my parents for money.
“I know, Mom,” I give her a smile. “I’ve just been busy. Classes are crazy, and the workload is a lot. You know how I get about my grades.” That’s not a lie. At least not fully. Though the only thing crazy at Blackthorn is Warren.
“Yes, yes,” her hazel eyes soften, and she reaches into her pocket, “your father and I want you to have this. You never ask for anything, and we know you have the scholarship, but maybe you could use the cash for something.”
I open my mouth to object, but my mother shakes her head and grabs my hand, pressing the warm dollar bills into it.
“Take it, please.” The pleading in her voice stops me in my tracks. Even though I don’t want to take it, I bite the inside of my cheek and take it, nodding my head.
She smiles and releases my hand. I shove the wad of cash into my pocket, bumping into my phone. Shit. My phone. It’s been off all day. I can’t imagine the shit storm I’ll be walking back into when I get back to Blackthorn.
I know without a doubt that Warren is pissed, probably ripping the campus to shreds trying to find me. Something that feels like satisfaction coats me from the inside out. For once, I outsmarted him, tricked him. I left without him even knowing.
Pulling out my phone, I turn the device on. As soon as the thing is on, it starts to go off, just as I suspected it would.
“Popular, huh?” My mom grins, her eyes lighting up as she makes another loaf of bread. If she isn’t cleaning for a living, she’s cooking. It’s like she doesn’t know what relaxation is.
“Yeah,” I lie, refusing to tell her it’s some crazed asshole who thinks he can control me and everything I do. Looking down at my phone, I find I have thirty text messages or more, plus numerous voicemails.
It’s a good thing I’m heading back to Blackthorn today. God forbid the psycho go an entire night without me. Walking into the tiny living room, I prepare myself to calm him and almost chuckle when my phone starts ringing, his name flashing across the screen.
I hit the green answer key and hold the phone to my ear.
“Yes, can I help you?” I speak calmly into the receiver. I shouldn’t want to stir the pot of crazy, but I do. Warren deserves to feel the same pain I have.
“What the fuck, Harper? Where are you? I’ve looked everywhere for you. I swear to god, you better have a good excuse. You didn’t think you could escape me…”
“I’m not stupid, Warren. I just needed some time away from you. You’re mental, and it’s exhausting dealing with you.”
“Where are you?” Is all he says, his voice clipped.
“On my way back to Blackthorn. I’ll be leaving in a few minutes to catch the bus.”
“No, you won’t. Stay right where you fucking are. I’ll come and pick you up.” An objection sits heavy on my tongue, but Warren interrupts me before I can speak. “And if you think about disobeying me, I’ll march right up to the administration building and tell them everything I know.”
“Your threats are getting old,” I taunt.
“And you’re going to regret doing this. Send me the address, now. I’ll be there asap, and if you were with another guy… Harper, I will go to prison. Right after I kill him.”
I roll my eyes, “You don’t own me, and we aren’t even together, but if it’s going to stop you from committing murder, I can assure you I wasn’t with a guy. I’m at my parents’ house.”
There’s a brief pause, and I wonder what he’s thinking, “Text me the address, and stay put.” He orders like I’m a dog before he hangs up the phone. For a second, I consider not texting him, turning my phone back off, and staying here, but decide against it.
Minus Warren, I love Blackthorn. The teachers are kind, and the work is easy.
Attending such a high-profile college is going to get me the best job once I graduate, so I can’t mess this up.
This education is going to last me a lifetime, Warren is only going to last the time it takes me to get this degree.
Gritting my teeth, I type out the address and hit send. It was nice to have a little peace, but I guess it’s time to get back to being terrorized.
An hour later, Warren pulls up to my parents’ tiny house in a blacked-out SUV. I kiss my mother on the cheek, grab my bag and walk outside. No point in elongating the inevitable. If I don’t go out there, then he’ll come in here, and that’s the last thing I want.
I make it out the door and three steps onto the sidewalk before he’s at my side. The first thing I notice is his eyes. They’re so dark they might as well be black. The second thing I notice is that he looks tired, really tired.
Guilt niggles at me, but I push it away. Why should I feel guilty about leaving to visit my parents? Why should I feel guilty when he is crazy, and I’m nothing but a possession to him?
“That was a pretty reckless stunt. I thought you were smarter than that.” His fingers wrap around my wrist, and he pulls me to the SUV, basically dragging me along the way.
“You’re right, it would have been smarter not to tell you where I was.”
“You think so? You think I would’ve stopped looking for you?” He growls into my ear, and I can feel the heat of his breath on my skin. I shiver, my body responding to his closeness.
Why do I want him? Even when he’s mean and cruel—so cruel it hurts—a small part of me still clings to him, craves his presence.
“Never. The answer is never. You’re mine, every fucking inch of you is mine. When you chose to stay instead of walking away, you gave yourself to me.”
The possessiveness in his voice is something I’ve never heard or even felt before.
Opening the door for me, he shoves me into the passenger seat, then slams the door shut.
Shifting in the seat, I’m stunned into silence because I’m not sure how this will end.
Where is this going? I still haven’t figured out why he thinks all these horrible things about me, and I’m not sure how to get it out of him either.
When he gets in and starts driving, the tension in the vehicle mounts. It’s so heavy I can barely breathe. Warren white knuckles the steering wheel, probably envisioning it as my neck.
“I need to ask you something… and you need to tell me the truth. This is really important.” His voice is a little calmer than before, and there is a weird urgent need to his tone as well.
“Okay, what is it?”
“When we were dating… or before, did someone hurt you?” His question catches me completely off guard. I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t this.
“What do you mean, hurt me?”
“Like abused you, raped you, or hurt you in any other way?”
“What? No! Why would you ask me that?” I’m so confused by his question. Where is this coming from?
“Are you sure?” He presses.
“Yes, Warren. No one hurt me. Not when we were dating, not before or after. I swear.”
Just when I thought I couldn’t get any more confused, he gets angry again. Hitting the side of the steering wheel like that’s the only way he can channel his uncontainable fury.
“I’m going to have so much fun fucking you, making you scream my name. I’ll make you regret everything. Make you beg for my forgiveness.”
“I didn’t do anything… all I did was go and see my parents. I’ve never hurt you.” Out of the corner of my eye, I see his body vibrating.
Is he going to hurt me? Punish me? Explode into the hulk? I don’t understand why he’s acting this way, why he blows up like this.
“Stop! Stop talking. I don’t want to hurt you, Harper. I really don’t, not physically, at least, but I’m close to losing my fucking shit, and I don’t know what will happen when I do.”
His confession has me pressing my lips into a tight line. With my chin to my chest, I stare at the floor. Closing my eyes to get away from him, I somehow manage to drift off to sleep.
A short while later, I come to. Warren is carrying me. Lifting my head off his chest, I notice that we’re at his house.
“I want to go home,” I mumble tiredly. All of this back and forth with him is exhausting. I just want to go to my place right now.
“Yeah, that’s never going to happen. You belong to me now.
I don’t know why you can’t get this into your head.
When I tell you to jump, you’ll ask how high?
When I tell you to spread your legs, you’ll ask how wide?
When you go to class, I’ll be there waiting for you.
You. Are. Mine.” He speaks each word with a deepness and darkness that makes me believe him.
As soon as we enter his room, he tosses me onto the bed like a doll, and I scurry backward and away from him. All my sleepiness is suddenly gone, leaving me wide awake and on high alert. He shuts the door, the sound much too soft for the raging storm that I know is brewing inside of him.
When he turns to face me again, it’s like every shred of who he is, who I’ve known him to be, is gone. Even in his darkest moments, I could still see the human beneath the mask, but right now, I can’t see any humanity.
“It’s funny, you were so tough-sounding over the phone.
Where is that girl now? With her strong backbone and spitfire tongue?
” He’s taunting me, trying to get me to fight back, but fighting back is what he wants, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to give my bully the bullets he needs to shoot me in the heart.
“Warren, please? It doesn’t have to be this way.”
He tilts his head to the side and even as devilish as he is, he still manages to look gorgeous, “It does have to be like this, and it always will be, because of you. You made us this way.”
Watching him stalk over to the bed, I tell myself I can’t do this. I’ll fight back. I know what’s coming. He’s going to take from me, take the last thing I have to offer him. It was always meant to be his but never like this.
Grabbing onto my ankle, he tugs me to the edge of the mattress.
Tears fill my eyes, and I contemplate my next move.
Blanketing his body with mine, he leans into my face.
His eyes searching mine, and I shiver at the darkness inside of his.
What happened to the boy I loved? Who hurt him? Who destroyed what we had?
Licking his lips, he whispers, “Cry for me, Harper, let me see your tears. I want to taste them, see if your fear tastes as sweet as it looks.”
I shake my head, “What happened to make you hate me so much?” I croak, choking on the emotions in my throat. “Just tell me.”
In an instant, Warren has his hand wrapped around my throat. The tears I was trying to keep at bay spring from my eyes and trail down my cheeks, leaving cold rivulets behind. He gives my throat a squeeze, and the air in my chest feels like a ton of bricks.
Darting his pink tongue out, he licks the salty tears from my eyes. It’s fucked up, so fucked up, but it’s also intimate. I don’t understand how to explain it.
“I’m going to fuck every ounce of hate I have into you.” He licks down to my cheek, stopping at my ear, he nips at the tender lobe. “I’m going to make you feel all the pain you’ve made me feel. I’m going to destroy all the good inside of you, just like you’ve destroyed all the good inside me.”
Fear pulses through my veins at his words, but to my utter shame, there is a need as well, a need for him to touch me, make me feel what he feels.
Maybe that’s the only way I’ll be able to understand.
If he won’t tell me what I’ve done to hurt him, maybe he’ll show me.
It’s a risky move… and I shouldn’t even consider giving myself over to him, but if this is the only way, then I’ll do it.