Chapter 16
Remington
My encounter with Noah in the kitchen had taken me by complete surprise.
I’d hoped things between us had changed, especially after the night we’d shared, but I wasn’t so sure.
Noah wasn’t the easiest man to read, but he made things pretty damn clear in the kitchen.
From the moment his lips touched mine, I knew he was done holding back.
Like a man possessed, his hands became rough and impatient as they roamed all over my body, and I couldn’t lie, I loved every minute of it.
The man made me feel things I didn’t even know were possible.
Just thinking about it had me rolling over to his empty side of the bed and wishing he was still there.
I called out his name but didn’t get an answer.
Curious as to where he’d gone, I tossed the covers back and got out of bed.
After freshening up a bit, I threw on my clothes and went to see if I could find him.
When I got to the living room, there was no sign of him, so I walked over to the window and pulled the curtain back.
As I peeked outside, I spotted Noah entering the office.
I’d seen him go in there before, but I thought he was just helping out Ada.
Since she wasn’t here, I was curious as to why he’d be heading in there again.
That curiosity had me putting on my shoes and slipping outside.
I knew I shouldn’t leave the house, especially after what happened last time, but I just couldn’t help myself.
I approached the door I had a feeling I was about to do something I shouldn’t.
It practically screamed at me to stop, but I ignored it and reached for the doorknob.
I eased the door open and found Noah standing right inside the doorway.
When he saw me, he didn’t speak but just stood there with a blank expression on his face.
I was about to ask him what he was doing when I heard the sound of metal scratching against the floor.
I turned to see where the noise was coming from, and I got the shock of a lifetime.
One of the men who’d attacked me was sitting on the sofa with a thick chain around his ankle, and from the looks of it, he’d been sleeping there for days.
As I stood there staring at him, all the memories from that night came flooding back, and my heart started beating wildly inside my chest. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe. I just stood there and gaped at him in horror until I heard Noah say my name.
“Remington?”
The sound of his voice brought me back to my senses. Still in shock, I looked over to him, then bolted out the door and raced back towards Ada’s. I was just about to reach the front steps when I felt a hand grab my arm and pull me back. “Remington, wait!”
My mind racing, my heart still beating wildly, I turned to him and shouted, “That man. He’s one of them. He hurt me, Noah. He’s going to kill me.”
“No, Remington. He’s not going to hurt you.” He placed his hands on my shoulders, trying to calm me down as he said, “I need you to listen to me. Can you do that for me?”
“Why should I listen to you”—I pointed over to the office—“when you have him chained up in there? Are you just waiting for him to finish me off?”
“Hold on a fucking minute.” His eyes flashed with anger as he removed his hands from my shoulders. “I get that you’re upset, but you need to think about what you’re saying.”
“What am I supposed to think?”
“I can’t answer that for you. I know it looks bad.” His eyes were locked on mine. “But you’ve got to decide. Do you trust me or not? It’s as simple as that.”
It took a moment for his words to sink in, but once they did, I realized he was right. I wanted to be with Noah. I felt safe with him, and deep inside, I knew he had my best interests at heart and had never given me a reason to doubt his good intentions.
I couldn’t deny that I was having my doubts, though, especially after what I’d seen, and it didn’t help matters that there’d been so many secrets.
All the hush-hush over his so-called club business was hard to swallow, so as I stood there looking into his fierce blue eyes, I said, “You know you don’t always make it easy. ”
“I know, and I have my reasons for that.”
“Because of the club?”
“Yes, but there’s more.”
“Then, tell me. I deserve to know what’s going on with you.”
“It’s not something I talk about, Remington.”
“Well, you’re going to have to try”—my eyes never left his—“or this thing between us is not going to work.”
He thought about what I’d said, then motioned his hand towards the porch. “Let’s go sit.”
I could tell from his tone that he wasn’t looking forward to this conversation, but I was relieved that I’d finally convinced him to open up to me.
I followed Noah up to the porch and sat down on the swing.
As I sat there next to him, I could feel the tension radiating from his body.
Hoping to settle his restless soul, I placed my hand on his thigh and said, “Take your time. I’m not going anywhere. ”
I’m not sure how long we both sat there in silence. It seemed like a lifetime, but eventually, Noah let out a deep breath and finally said, “I told you about my folks dying when I was kid, but I didn’t go into all the shit that went with that.”
His eyes dropped to the ground as he cleared his throat.
“I hold a lot of guilt over what happened. I know I was only a kid and couldn’t have changed anything, but it didn’t stop me from thinking that if I’d been there, I might’ve been able to prevent them being pulled through that culvert. I just couldn’t stop thinking about it.
Hell, I was obsessed with it, and all those fucked up feelings changed me.
I acted out and did stupid shit. Didn’t have Ada around to straighten my ass out.
I was too busy bouncing around from one foster home to the next to really think about what I was doing.
I was about to land myself in a boys’ home when I met the Lannisters. ”
His expression remained blank, his voice calm and steady, but I knew he was hurting. I could feel it. I wanted to reach out and hold him. I wanted to show him that I was there for him, but I didn’t move. I was too afraid that he might start putting his walls up again.
We sat there in silence for several minutes before he finally said, “They became my new foster parents. They were good people. Really good people. They were patient with me and loved me when no one else would, but because of that, they lost their daughter and I lost my first love.”
“How did you lose her?”
“She was going bowling with some friends and asked me to come with them. I wanted to, but I had to work. They ended up going without me and got hit by a drunk driver.”
“Oh, Noah, I’m so sorry.”
“She should’ve never died. It was my fault.”
“How can you say that? It wasn’t your fault.”
“You’re wrong. If I’d been driving, then they wouldn’t have been hit by that fucking drunk driver.
The car wouldn’t have been ripped to shreds when it went flying down that embankment.
” His voice was riddled with anguish as he continued, “Lindsey wouldn’t have been thrown from the car.
She wouldn’t have broken her neck, severed her spine, or suffered inoperable brain trauma.
I would’ve been careful, made sure nothing happened to her or her friends, but I went to work instead.
Figured I’d make it up to her, but I never got that chance. ”
“Noah, you can’t blame yourself for what happened. It wasn’t your fault. There’s no way you could’ve known what was going to happen.”
“Maybe not, but I should’ve been there to look out for her.
” I thought back to the conversation I’d had with Ada over Noah.
She’d mentioned that he’d suffered a great loss, but I had no idea how much he’d really been through.
I thought his anguish ended there, but then he said, “I joined the military to try and escape the misery but only ended up finding more.”
While he’d only told me a little about his time in the service, I knew enough.
My heart ached for him. The man had been through so much.
I wouldn’t have blamed him for shutting down completely, so I was surprised when he looked over to me and said, “I’ve lost people I cared about, people I loved, and it nearly broke me.
I’ve spent years trying to piece myself back together, and I’m still a fucking mess.
But I am who I am. Not promising I’ll ever be able to change, but for the first time in a very fucking long time, I want to try.
” His blue eyes pierced through me as he continued, “I want to try for you, Remington. I want to be the man you need me to be.”
Overcome with emotion, I reached for Noah, wound my arms around his neck and pulled him close, hugging him tightly. “I didn’t think it was possible that anything good could come from all of this, but I was wrong. I found you.”
He didn’t respond. Instead, he just sat there and held me against his chest. There were so many things about this man that got to me, but the feeling I had when I was in his arms surpassed them all.
After several long moments, he released me from our embrace, then looked down at me and said, “You know, you still haven’t answered my question. ”
“No, I guess I haven’t.” I reached down and took his hand in mine. “I can’t really explain why, Noah, but I’ve always trusted you. From that first night when you came up to me at the strip club, I just knew, and even now, after finding that guy locked up in the office, nothing has changed.”
“Good.”
As soon as the words left his mouth, he reached over and lifted me into his arms. He carried me inside the house, and we spent the next few hours making love. When we were both completely spent, I curled up in the crook of his arm and rested my head on his chest.
It was at that moment I realized I was falling in love with him.
Truly.
Madly.
Deeply.