Chapter 4
Rebecca
It had been three years, nine months, and twenty-one days since Trevor spent his first night locked away at the Riverbend Maximum Security Prison. In all that time, I’d never once gone to see him. It wasn’t that I hadn’t thought about it.
I had.
I’d thought about it a great deal.
Like I’d discussed with Henry, Trevor was my husband, the father of my child, and there was a time when I loved him very much, but I’d never been able to work up the courage to actually go to the prison and face him—until today.
I wouldn’t have gone now if it hadn’t been for his mother’s incessant nagging that I allow her to bring Catherine to visit her father.
She’d even gone so far as to get our lawyers involved.
Mine had assured me he had things handled and Cat wouldn’t have to see Trevor until she was ready, but I knew his mother well enough that she wasn’t going to take no for an answer.
Trevor’s parents had always been good to Cat, but his mother didn’t know when enough was enough.
She’d just keep pushing, keep harassing Cat and me until she got her way. I hoped that if I went to see Trevor in person, I might be able to talk some sense into him and put an end to this whole visitation idea once and for all.
After I’d gathered up the courage to make it through security, a guard led me into the room where I’d be meeting Trevor.
Since my lawyer was concerned about my safety—both mental and physical, he arranged for Trevor and me to be placed in one of the visitation rooms partitioned with seating areas divided by bullet-proof glass.
Even though we wouldn’t technically be in the same room and there was no way he could harm me, I was completely terrified as I sat there waiting for him to take the seat in front of me.
I thought my heart was going to beat right out of my chest when that side door opened, and a guard appeared with Trevor in tow.
I’d spent years trying to put the memories of what happened that night behind me, but the second I saw him, they all came flooding back.
My stomach turned.
Bile rose to the back of my throat.
My palms started to sweat.
My breath quickened.
It was happening—a stupid panic attack.
I closed my eyes, clamped my hands in my lap, and tried to control my breathing—in through the nose, out through the mouth.
I was just starting to pull myself together when I felt a hand on my shoulder.
I glanced up and found the guard looking down at me with concern in his eyes. “You making it okay over here?”
“Yeah, I think so.”
“You don’t have to worry.” He motioned his hand towards the glass. “He can’t get to you. You’re safe here.”
I nodded.
“If it becomes too much, just say the word, and I’ll get his ass out of here.”
“Thank you. I appreciate that.”
He gave me a reassuring nod, then went back over to his position next to the door. I looked over to the other guard and watched as he removed Trevor’s ankle restraints.
The moment seemed so surreal. He didn’t resist or fight but appeared perfectly calm.
During those last few months of our marriage, Trevor was often hostile, angry, and very bitter. He was filled with resentment and hate, and it was all directed at me. I didn’t understand it.
I still didn’t.
I was his wife, the mother of his child, and I was doing everything I could to help him.
I tried to make his life better, but he couldn’t see that.
His hunger for those damn painkillers had made him lose all sense of reason, and it had turned him into a monster—a monster who wanted to lash out and hurt me at every turn.
He was no longer the man I once loved; he’d become a complete stranger.
As I looked at him now, he still had all the same familiar qualities I remembered when we first met—dark hair, hazel eyes, and pronounced jawline, but there were other things about him that were vastly different.
He was now extremely muscular with a build like an MMA fighter, and he had tattoos—lots of them.
His eyes were locked on mine as he picked up the phone receiver from the wall and brought it up to his ear. A cold expression crossed his face as he waited for me to do the same.
Unsure of what to say or do, I didn’t move.
I just sat there staring back at him for several moments until he finally gave me a frustrated look and pointed over to the receiver.
I finally picked it up, slowly brought it up to my ear, and then my stomach sank at the sound of his voice, “Hello, Rebecca.”
“Hi, Trevor.”
“I was beginning to think this day would never come.”
“I wasn’t so sure myself.”
“I’ve written you letters.”
“I know.”
“So, you got them?”
“I did.”
“Did you read them?”
I nodded. “Yes, I read them.”
“Good ... good. I want you to know I meant every word.” He actually sounded sincere as he continued, “I can’t tell you how good it is to see you. I’ve really missed you, Bug.”
A wounded look crossed his face when I said, “I wish I could say the same.”
“You haven’t missed me? Not even a little?”
“What do you think I would’ve missed, Trevor?” I spat. “Not knowing where you were for days on end, if you were alive or dead, the constant fighting, the screaming and shouting, being knocked around, or maybe you think I might’ve missed the night you tried—”
“Enough!” he growled, cutting me off. “Clearly, this isn’t a family reunion, so why don’t you just go on and tell me what you’re doing here.”
“We need to talk about Catherine.”
“What about her?”
“I need your mother to stop pushing me to bring her here for a visit.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Come on, Trevor. Don’t do this,” I grumbled. “Don’t act like you don’t have a clue of what I’m talking about.”
“I know you have it in your head that I’m some kind of monster who’s incapable of speaking the truth, but I’m telling you I had no idea Mom was trying to get you to bring Cat here.”
“You didn’t?”
“No, I didn’t.” He ran his hand through his thick, shaggy hair. “She’s brought it up a couple of times ... Said it would be good for us both to spend some time together, but I had no idea she’d mentioned anything to you about it.”
“Well, she has. She’s even gone as far as to bring a lawyer into it, and I need her to stop.”
“And why would she do that?”
For a moment, I thought he was on my side, so I was a little stunned by his response. What was I thinking? I should’ve known better. “Because it’s the right thing to do.”
“For who? You?” he grumbled. “Because it sure as hell isn’t the right thing for me. I want to see my daughter. I miss her. I need to see her.”
“This isn’t just about you or what you need, Trevor. This is about our daughter.” I tried to remain calm as I explained, “She’s been through enough, Trevor. It’s not fair to expect her to come into this place and see you, not when she’s finally starting to recover.”
“Recover? Recover from what? All the damn lies you’ve told her about what happened?”
“The lies I told her? Are you kidding me?”
“There are two sides to every story.” I was completely stunned.
I never dreamed Trevor could believe that I was even remotely to blame for anything that happened until he said, “We both know you’ve only told her your side—the one where you were completely innocent and I was the one who carried all the blame, and that’s not the way it was. Not even close.”
I could feel the anger rising in the pit of my stomach, and I wanted to lash out at him but knew it wouldn’t make a difference. Trevor was a narcissistic asshole who still couldn’t accept the blame for what he’d done.
“Cat was there, Trevor. I didn’t have to tell her anything. She knows what happened.”
“She was just a kid,” he replied nonchalantly. “And kids are resilient.”
“This conversation is over.”
“Of course, it is,” he snarled. “You’ve never wanted to listen to the fucking truth.”
“You’re insane. There’s no way I’m bringing her here to see you. Not now. Not ever.”
I took the receiver and slammed it back in place, then stood up to leave.
I could hear Trevor pounding on the protective glass and shouting a stream of profanities at me—much like he used to do when we were still married.
I turned to look at him, and he was glaring at me with such an intense hatred that it sent a chill down my spine.
Thankfully, it was only a matter of seconds before the guards had him restrained and were removing him from the room. The guard at the door came over to me and said, “You made it.”
“Yeah, I guess I did.”
“Let’s get you out of here.”
He was just about to open the door when a call came over his radio. He quickly picked it up and listened, then turned to me and said, “We’re going to have to hold up here for a bit.”
“What?” I gasped with worry. “Why?”
“There’s a disturbance out in the yard.”
“What kind of disturbance?”
“No tellin’. Probably just a fight or something.”
“I’ve got to pick up my daughter from school.” I glanced down at my watch. “How long do you think we’ll be stuck in here?”
“Shouldn’t be long.”
I didn’t say anything more. I simply stood there next to him, silently praying that he was right and whatever was going on out in the yard would be handled quickly.
Unfortunately, that didn’t happen.
I waited in the room for over an hour and a half, and by the time I made it through security and out to my car, there was no way I’d be able to pick up Cat from school without being late.
I immediately took out my phone and started calling everyone I could think of, from my parents to my best friend, Celeste, and even a few friends from work—even Delilah.
Mom was at the doctor’s office with my father, Celeste was still out of town, and my friends from work were all in the middle of a shift. I was stuck. There was only one person left for me to call—one last resort.
Thatch.
I tapped in his number, and a mix of dread and desperation washed over me as I waited for him to answer. I’d never called him during the middle of the day, so I wasn’t sure he’d even answer.
But after several rings, he picked up. “Rebecca?”
“Hey, Thatch. I’m so sorry to bother you, but I’m in a real bind, and I had no one else to call.”
“What’s going on?”
“I got held up at, ah ... um, a meeting, and I’m going to be late picking up Cat. I wondered if there was any way you might be able to run by the school and get her for me.”
“You want me to pick up your kid from school?”
“I know it’s a lot to ask, and I would understand if you didn’t want to do it. I’m just kind of ... um, I’m just kind of desperate here, Thatch. I’ve got no one else who can do it.”
“What about Delilah or ...”
“I’ve already asked her. She’s in the middle of her shift. Same with all my other friends from work.”
He didn’t immediately respond, and I feared he was about to turn me down when he finally replied, “What do I do with her once I get her?”
“Just take her back to the house, and I’ll meet you there as soon as I can.”
“That’s it?”
“She’ll probably want a snack or something, but she can manage that herself.”
“Okay. I’m gonna need the address to the school.”
“I’ll text it to you now.” Feeling overwhelmingly relieved, I told him, “Thank you so much, Thatch.”
“No problem.”
The second I ended the call, I texted him the address and then called the school, letting them know that Thatch would be picking up Cat. As soon as I got off the phone with them, I started home.
My mind was racing a mile a minute as I exited the prison gates and out onto the interstate.
One minute I was thinking about Trevor and our conversation over Cat, and then the next, my thoughts traveled to Thatch, the oh-so-sexy biker who could make me forget all my fears and woes with one subtle touch.
I might have missed out on him altogether if I hadn’t listened to the advice of my eccentric, mouthy, lesbian neighbor and best friend, Celeste.
I had a day from hell, and since Cat was with my folks, I’d decided to go over to her place for a couple of drinks.
I had just finished telling her all about the crazy week I’d had when she reached over, poured me a third glass of wine, and said, “I’ve got the answer, but you aren’t gonna like it.”
“Oh, this should be good.”
Celeste had never been one to beat around the bush, so I was surprised when she blurted out, “You need to get laid, and you need to get laid often.”
“Yeah, like I have time for a relationship right now.”
“Who said anything about a relationship?” She cocked her eyebrow and smiled. “I’m talking about just sex, girl. You know. A good ol’ fuckin’ without any strings attached.”
“You really should’ve been a guy. You know that, right?”
“Yep, that’s why I look so damn good in plaid.” She gave me a playful smirk, then continued on with her cockamamie idea about me getting laid. “Stop trying to change the subject. I’m right here. You need to find yourself a hot guy and bang the hell out of him.”
“You’re crazy.”
“You’ve been divorced for what, three and a half years? And you haven’t been on a single date, much less gotten any action.”
“I’ve been on a date.”
“The douchebag from work doesn’t count,” she argued. “You spend all this time busting your ass at work, taking care of your patients’ needs, and then you come home and bust your ass taking care of Cat. When are you going to start taking care of you?”
“Since when is getting laid considered taking care of myself?”
“Since always! It’s a great stress reliever, and you definitely need that.” She winked at me, then added, “So, consider it an incentive for your mental health.”
“You’re crazy.”
“You already said that. I’m being serious, Bec. You’re a beautiful, vibrant young woman. There is no reason why you can’t get out there and find yourself a little action. You deserve it.”
“Okay, whatever you say, boss.”
“Heed my words of advice. You won’t regret it.”
I didn’t give much thought to my conversation with Celeste.
We were just talking over a few drinks, but when Thatcher showed up in McClanahan’s room two days later, it was impossible not to reconsider.
Thatcher was unbelievably hot, and Mr. McClanahan had nothing but good things to say about him, so I didn’t see the harm.
I thought it would just be a little fling, something to take my mind off my crazy life, but even with our ground rules in play, I feared it was starting to grow into something more. And that couldn’t happen.