Chapter 12
Rebecca
Being a hospice nurse was both rewarding and heartbreaking. One minute I felt like I was truly making a difference in the world, and in the next, I felt small and insignificant—like nothing I did mattered. Today, I felt neither small nor insignificant.
Today was one of those days when I knew I’d actually accomplished something that helped a patient in a way that mattered.
I’d been working feverishly to get my new hospice patient, David Kinsley, set up with everything he’d need to keep him comfortable during his final days. His prognosis wasn’t good. He was only expected to live four to six weeks at best, which was sad, to say the least.
David was close to my age, married with two young children and had a thriving career, and it was difficult to see him in such a declining state. It was even tougher to see that his family, especially his wife, was struggling with his terminal diagnosis.
We’d just gotten him settled in his room, and I was about to check in with his doctor when I found her crying outside the room. I went over and asked, “Hey, Michele. Are you okay?”
“No, I’m not.” Tears streamed down her cheeks as she mumbled, “I’m not sure I’ll ever be okay again.”
“Is there anything I can do?”
“No, not unless you can make this whole thing go away.” She wiped the tears from her face. “I’m just not ready.”
“I know this whole thing must be devastating for you and your kids.”
“It’s just so hard.” She inhaled a deep breath. “I’ve accepted the fact that I’m losing him—I have for over a year—but now that he’s here, I know I’m going to lose him so much faster, especially when they start pumping him full of all that morphine.”
“The morphine won’t expedite things. It’s only used to make him more comfortable.”
“So, he won’t just slip away?”
“Not the way you might think.”
I took some time to explain how the drugs would be administered and how often the doctor had prescribed them. I also told her how the doses may vary depending on how he is doing, and by the time I was finished explaining the entire process, she was no longer crying and seemed to be more at ease.
She reached over and gave me a hug as she whispered, “Thank you for taking the time to talk to me about all this. I really appreciate it.”
“That’s what I’m here for.” I smiled. “If there’s anything you need or if you have any other questions, you just let me know.”
“Okay, I will. I’m really glad he has you looking out for him.”
“I’m glad I’m here, too. I’m going to touch base with his doctor and let him know he’s settled. I’ll check in with you both before I leave for the day.”
“Great. I’ll see you then.”
Even though I knew there would be many more to come, I left Michele feeling like I’d helped her through a fleeting rough spot. Moments like these made my job feel worthwhile.
Once I checked in with David’s doctor, I went to my office and finished up some paperwork. I hadn’t been there long when Delilah came by. She peeked her head inside the doorway as she asked, “Hey, girl. How’s it going?”
“It’s going.” I shrugged with a smile. “Been a long day, and it’s not close to being over. What about you?”
“Not too bad.” Excitement filled her voice as she told me, “I just found out that I’m off on Monday!”
“A long weekend! That’s great! I gotta say, I’m a little jealous.”
“Maybe you will get a little time off soon, too.”
“Yeah, I was thinking I might take a few days during Cat’s spring break... maybe go up to the mountains for a night or two.”
“Oh, I’m sure she’d love that.”
“I think so, too.” I glanced over at the clock and stood as I told her, “Speaking of Cat, I have to pick her up from school.”
“Okay. I’ll check in with you later.”
“Great. Sounds good.” As I started for the door, I told her, “If I don’t see you, enjoy that long weekend!”
“I’m going to try.”
After I left my office, I went to the school to pick up Cat, then we went to her appointment with Katie.
While Cat and I had talked at great length about what occurred during her visit with her father and she seemed to be handling things, I thought it was best for her to have a session with Katie to be sure.
As I’d hoped, it went extremely well, and Cat came out of her session with a bright smile on her face. We left there and headed straight home to get dinner started—only dinner was already there when we arrived.
When I pulled up in the driveway, I found Thatch standing next to his truck with several takeout bags, and he was talking to Celeste. I could only imagine what she was saying to him, so I quickly parked and told Cat, “Looks like we have company.”
“Is that Thatch?”
“It is.”
“He looks different.” She scrunched her nose and leaned forward to get a better look. “He shaved his beard!”
Without waiting for me to join her, Cat opened her door and rushed over to Thatch.
I watched as he knelt down next to her and gave her a warm smile.
She immediately started talking, and it wasn’t long before he nodded, then ran his hand proudly over his chin.
My chest tightened as I watched them together.
Cat wasn’t afraid.
Instead, she was perfectly at ease with him.
I shouldn’t have been surprised that my daughter felt so safe with him.
From the very beginning, I’d felt exactly the same way about him.
I couldn’t explain why. At first glance, the man was all muscles and tattoos, with an MC president’s cut and a fierce expression, but there was a kindness in his eyes and compassion in his touch.
I’d seen it, felt it, and it was clear I wasn’t the only one.
I got out of my car, and by the time I made my way over to them, Thatch was telling her, “I hope you’re hungry. I brought lots of spaghetti and cheesy bread that you’re gonna have to help me eat up.”
“I like spaghetti.”
“I thought you might.” Thatch stood and gave me a warm smile. “I brought dinner.”
“I see that.”
Celeste leaned over to me and whispered, “Not bad, kiddo.”
“Celeste.”
“What? I’m just saying.” She motioned her head towards Thatch as she whispered, “You said he was hot, but damn, he’s the kind of hot that makes me question my life choices.”
“You do realize he’s standing right here and can hear everything you’re saying.”
“Yeah, well.” Celeste glanced over at Thatch and gave him a playful smile. “I’m not saying anything he doesn’t already know.”
“Is there something you needed?”
She placed her hand on the top of Cat’s head. “I just wanted to see how our girl was doing. Clearly, she’s just fine.”
“Yeah, she’s doing great.” I handed Cat my keys as I told her, “Why don’t you go on inside and put your school things away?”
“Okay, Momma.”
As soon as she headed up the steps, Celeste reached over and gave my arm a quick squeeze. “I’m gonna get going. You guys have a nice dinner.”
“I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“You better.” As she turned and started back to her place, she shouted, “Good meetin’ ya, Thatch. Be nice to my girl.”
“I’ll do my best.” Once she was gone, he turned his attention to me. “Hey.”
“Hey.” I smiled as I looked down at the bags of food in his hand. “I didn’t know you were coming by with dinner.”
“I didn’t either, but here I am.”
“Well, come on in, and we’ll get everything warmed up.”
He nodded, then followed me inside. When we walked into the kitchen, I was surprised to find that Cat had already started setting the table. Thatch placed the bags of food on the counter, then started removing his cut as he asked Cat, “You need a hand with that?”
“We need drinks.”
Thatch glanced over at me, and I immediately pointed at the cabinet where I kept the glasses. He nodded, then said, “On it.”
While he made our drinks, I started taking all the food he’d brought out of the bags. I watched Cat as she interacted with Thatch while I placed the containers in the microwave. She looked over to him as she put the fork down on the table and asked, “Do you do this at your house?”
“Set the table?”
“Mm-hmm.” Cat nodded.
“Don’t usually have the need to.” He gave her a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders. “Usually just me at my place.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry about, kid. It’s all good. I’ve got a clubhouse full of brothers, their wives, and even a kid or two.” Thatch chuckled as he said, “My house is the only place I can get any peace.”
“I wanna see your house.”
“I’m sure we can make that happen.” Thatch glanced over to me as he added, “As long as it’s okay with your mom.”
“Can I, Momma?” Cat asked excitedly.
“We’ll see.” I brought the food over and placed it all on the table. “Let’s just try and enjoy our dinner first.”
“Okay, Momma.” Cat picked up her fork and took a bite of spaghetti. After chewing for a moment, she turned to Thatch with furrowed brows. “Is Momma your girlfriend now?”
“Come again?”
“Before, you said she wasn’t your girlfriend,” she stated as a matter-of-fact. “But you brought dinner for us, and that’s what boyfriends do.”
“Is that right?”
“Mm-hmm.” Cat gave him a minute, but when he didn’t respond, she gave him a little push. “So, is she your girlfriend?”
“Yeah,” Thatch’s eyes skirted over to me. “I reckon she is.”
“What?” I gasped, then giggled with surprise. “When did that happen?”
Before he could answer, Cat announced, “I’m gonna need a new Ken doll.”
“Umm ...” Still reeling from Thatch’s response, I stammered, “W-what? Why do you need a new Ken doll?”
“My Ken has a beard.”
“And?”
Her eyes skirted over to Thatch. “I need one with no beard.”
“Well, you shouldn’t have drawn on your dolls, then you wouldn’t have this problem.”
“But Momma.”
“Maybe for your birthday.”
“But I wanna motorcycle for my birthday.”
“A motorcycle?” I gasped. “You want a motorcycle?”
“Hm-hmm. For Ken... Like the one Thatch has.”
“I don’t think they make motorcycles for Barbies, sweetheart.”
“I seen ’em, and I want one. Just like Thatch’s. Ken can take Darby for a ride.”
“Darby?”
Cat gave me a look, then replied, “Darby is his girlfriend.”
“Oh, well, I guess his girlfriend is going to have to wait until your birthday.”
“But Momma ...”