Chapter 22
Raelyn
"Are you in any pain?"
"Just a little. The meds they gave me are working wonders."
"Well, that's good." Haleigh winced as she looked at the bruises on my face. "Looks like you're gonna have a nice shiner once the swelling goes down."
"Yeah, I hit the window pretty hard. Ended up getting a few stitches." I brought my hand up to my face and gently touched the bandage on my temple. "But I guess it could be worse."
"It most definitely could’ve been worse." Anguish filled her eyes as she said, "You could've been killed."
"Oh, it wasn’t anything that serious. Just a little fender bender," I argued. "Besides, after all the crazy stunts I've pulled, there's no way I'm going to let a silly accident take me out."
"You're probably right about that." Haleigh sat down on the edge of my bed. "Have you spotted any hot doctors?"
"Why are you asking about hot doctors? I thought you were head over heels about Locke."
"A little eye candy never hurt anyone."
"In that case, I might've seen one or two, but they pale in comparison to our guys."
"I figured as much. Speaking of our guys ..." Haleigh leaned in close as she whispered, "Have you called Lynch to let him know you're here?"
"No, and I'm not going to."
"What?" Her face twisted into a disapproving frown. "Why not?"
"Because he has a lot going on, and there's no use in worrying him over a little bump on the head."
"Hmm ... Why do I get the feeling there's more to it than that?"
"Because you always think I'm hiding stuff."
She giggled. "’Cause you usually are!"
"Well, I'm not right now." I motioned my head over to Mom and Dad, who were busy talking on their phones. "Besides, I think we have enough going on at the moment."
"Yeah, you're probably right, but you should call him as soon as everything settles down."
"I will. I promise."
"Good." An excited smile slipped across her face. "Did I tell you that Rocky got adopted last night?"
"He did?"
Rocky was an older lab mix that had been at the shelter for months and months.
He was one of the sweetest dogs there, but no one had even considered adopting him.
Everyone thought he was too old to take a chance, so I couldn't have been happier when Haleigh said, "Yep, an older couple came in just as I got there.
Apparently, they have a big farm and thought he'd be the perfect watchdog for their baby goats. "
"That's really great. I'm glad Rocky found a good home."
I was so caught up in our conversation that I'd forgotten we were waiting on my CT scan results, but I was brought back to reality when one of the doctors stepped into my room. My heart sank the second I saw his face.
He had the same expression the nurse had two years prior. Haleigh stepped over to my mother, giving the doctor room to stand near my bed. "Hello, Ms. Thomas. I'm Dr. Avery Grant, one of the neurologists on staff here at the hospital."
"Hi, Dr. Grant. It's nice to meet you."
"It's a pleasure to meet you, too."
"Hello, Dr. Grant." My father walked over and extended his hand, "I'm Jack, Raelyn's father, and this is Theresa, her mother."
"It's nice to meet you both." After he shook Dad's hand, he turned his attention back to me and said, "I came by to discuss the results of your CT scan."
"Okay."
"I must warn you. They are a bit concerning." My heart sank into the pit of my stomach when he added, "The scan revealed a rather large aneurysm on the left lobe of the brain."
"Oh, we've known about the aneurysm for some time now." I’d heard people talk about having an out-of-body experience, but I’d never encountered one—until now.
I felt like I was in a tunnel, far away from that hospital room, but I could still hear my father.
“Our family practitioner discovered it when she was twelve or thirteen, but she said it wasn't anything to be concerned about until Rae was in her fifties or sixties, and even then, she didn't think it would be an issue. "
"In most cases, she would be correct.” Dr. Grant showed no feeling when he spoke. It sounded like he was reading straight from some medical journal as he explained to my father, “But your daughter’s has grown to the point where it is concerning."
“Concerning how?”
“When these weak spots grow larger, like Raelyn's has, they can rupture and cause internal bleeding in the brain, which can often be fatal."
“Damn.” Dad looked over at me, and my chest tightened with guilt when I saw the distraught expression on his face.
I wasn't surprised that he was so upset.
My father was a fixer, and sadly, this was one thing he simply couldn't fix.
But that wasn't going to stop him from trying.
He was still staring at me when he announced, "Rae's mother had a degenerative vascular disorder that affected her heart. Do you think that's what caused this?"
"It's a possibility, but there's no way to be sure."
"So, what do we do about it?"
"Treatments vary from patient to patient. We would just wait and keep an eye on it in some cases, but we are beyond that now.” I wanted to throw my hands up and scream—to stop the doctor from saying the words he was about to say.
Still before I could react, he continued, “With the size, location, and the condition of the aneurysm, I believe Raelyn must undergo surgery immediately. "
And there it was.
The very words I’d been dreading to hear.
I’d run from them for almost two years, and now they’d finally caught up to me.
My father tried his best to remain calm as he asked, "What kind of surgery?"
"There are two options. One would be clipping the aneurism. With this method, we would go through the scalp and use an endoscope to clip off the weakened spot of the artery.” My mind had gone blank, and I could barely understand him as he said, “Once the surgery is complete, a small metal plate will be used to secure the surgical site. "
"And the other option?" Dad pushed.
"There's also a procedure called coiling.
" He took a quick breath, then continued, "It's much less invasive and more common.
The patient will receive a general anesthetic, and a catheter will be used to guide thin wires up and into the aneurysm.
These wires will be coiled into a mesh ball, and blood clots that form around this coil will prevent the aneurysm from breaking open and bleeding. "
Dad sounded hopeful as he asked, "Which option would you suggest?"
"I would have to study her chart again, but I think it's safe to say that coiling would be her best option."
I could tell by the look in my father’s eyes that he was about to push for the surgery, but he didn't have the complete picture yet. So I asked the doctor, "What are the risks with this type of surgery?"
"Well, there's always the possibility that some neurological complications might arise.
Some patients have trouble with memory and coordination, but those usually get better over time.
" His tone grew grim as he continued, "Blood clots, infection, speech and vision problems, and seizures are also possible, but I assure you, the risk of not having the repair outweighs any that come with the surgery. "
"What do you mean by speech and vision problems?"
"It's all about the location of the aneurysm." The doctor cleared his throat before continuing, "It's rare, but in cases like yours where the aneurysm is so close to the optic nerve, the surgical procedure can cause blurred or double vision—even blindness. But like I said, it's rare."
"So, if I have this surgery, there is a chance that I could lose my vision or my speech?"
"There is a possibility."
"I just don't understand how we got to this point." My father ran his fingers through his salt and pepper hair. "How did we not know?"
"I knew." Dad's eyes narrowed with confusion at me. "Well, I knew there was a possibility."
"But how?"
"I started having symptoms about two years ago," I admitted. "Some odd tingling sensations, a dull pain behind my eye, and a few dizzy spells here and there. At first, I thought they were nothing and would go away on their own, but then they got worse."
"Why didn't you tell us?"
"I don't know ... I guess I didn't want to worry you."
"Oh, Rae." Mom stepped over to me and took my hand in hers. "We're your parents. It's our job to worry."
"I wasn't even sure we had anything to worry about. I went to see a neurologist and had another scan done, but I was too scared to go back and get my results. I didn't see the point in worrying you, so I kept it to myself and prayed it would go away—which obviously didn't work."
The doctor pursed his lips as he replied, "Unfortunately, it's extremely rare for an aneurysm to just go away on its own. That's why we must get this surgery scheduled immediately and—"
All the fears I’d had as a child came rushing back, and I could barely breathe as I thought about all the things I’d seen in those textbooks.
The pictures. The descriptions. The horror stories.
It was too awful to fathom, and I wanted no part of it, so I told the doctor, "That won't be necessary. I don’t want the surgery. "
Dad looked at me like I’d lost my mind as he gasped. “What?”
“I’m not having the surgery,” I repeated.
"The hell you say," Conor's voice boomed from the doorway.
Dad turned to see who'd intruded on our conversation, and after giving Conor a quick once over, he snapped, "Can I help you with something?"
"I'm here to see Rae."
"And you are?"
"This is Conor, Dad. He's the guy I've been seeing."
Dad’s eyes narrowed as he studied Conor’s leather Sinners jacket, and he didn’t sound at all pleased when he replied, “I didn’t know you were seeing anyone.”
“Well, I am.”
The tension in the room was almost unbearable, so I wasn't surprised when Dr. Grant announced, "I need to finish my rounds. If you happen to change your mind about the surgery, and I hope you do, I’d be able to do it as early as tomorrow morning.
Just notify the nurse, and we will take it from there. "
"Okay, great. Thank you, Dr. Grant."
"My pleasure."
He gave Conor a slight nod, then stepped around him and headed out of the room. As soon as he closed the door, I asked Conor, "How much did you hear?"
"Enough."
"Oh, well..." was the only response I could muster.
Sensing my dilemma, Mom stepped over to Dad and said, "Why don't we give them a moment alone?"
"We need to talk about this surgery! She has to—"
"We’ll figure it out," Mom interrupted. "For now, let's just take a breather, and then we can come up with a plan."
"Fine." My father followed Mom towards the door but stopped when he approached Conor. "Talk some sense into her."
Conor nodded, then watched as my parents and Haleigh walked out of the room. When the door closed behind them, I expected him to come over to me.
He didn't.
He didn't move—nor did he speak.
Conor simply stood there and stared at me with a blank expression on his face. He had every right to be angry with me. I hadn't been honest with him.
"I'm sorry, Conor. I should've told you."
No response.
"I didn't know for sure what was going on with me. I mean, I had my suspicions and all that, but I wasn't one hundred percent sure that my symptoms were from the aneurysm."
Still no response—not even a bat of his eye.
"It's why I left on our first date. I knew I was setting myself up for a fall, and I was right. I've fallen in love with you, and now I'm going to lose you."
Again nothing.
"I know you want me to have the surgery, but I can't do it, Conor. I don't want to end up not being able to see or talk or spend the rest of my life having one seizure after the next. I'd rather take my chances with the stupid aneurysm."
His eyes dropped to the ground, but after a brief moment, they locked on mine once again. I thought for sure he would say something, but he remained silent, which frustrated the hell out of me.
"I didn't ask for this, but these are the cards I've been dealt, and it's up to me to decide how I play them."
Conor gave me a slight nod, and then without saying a single word, he turned and walked out of the room.
Damn.
I’d made a real mess of it this time.