Chapter 24
Raelyn
“How long do you think it will be before she wakes up?”
“It’s hard to say. It’s different with every patient.”
“But it’s been hours.” I could hear the concern in my mother’s voice as she spoke to the nurse, “I thought for sure she’d be awake by now.”
“Sometimes there are complications that require deeper sedation than the typical twilight method.”
“Dr. Grant didn’t mention any complications.”
“Then, I wouldn’t worry. She should wake up soon,” the nurse replied with a reassuring tone. “I’ll be back in a few minutes to check her stats and see how she’s doing.”
Neither my parents nor the nurse seemed to be aware that I’d been awake for at least half an hour.
I’d heard every word they’d said and knew they were worried, but I was too scared to open my eyes, terrified something was wrong.
I tried to convince myself that I was just being dramatic and that nothing was wrong with me, but I knew in my gut that something wasn’t right.
So, I just lay there, pretending to be asleep.
“Have you called Josey or Jacoby to let them know she’s out of surgery?”
“I sent them both a message an hour ago. They’ll be here soon,” Mom answered. “I sent one to our folks, too. Your mother wants you to call as soon as she wakes up.”
“I was already planning on it.” There was a lull in conversation until my father asked, “You know, that guy is back. He’s been in the waiting room since the doors opened.”
“I’m not surprised. He seemed to be very fond of Rae, and she seems to feel the same about him.”
“You don’t appear to be very concerned about this guy.”
“Because I’m not,” Mom answered without hesitation.
“But we don’t know anything about this guy.”
“I know he saved our daughter’s life by convincing her to have this surgery. I’d say that speaks volumes for the man.”
“But you saw that leather jacket he was wearing. He’s one of those biker guys.”
“Since when do you judge a book by its cover?”
“When my daughter’s well-being is at stake.”
I couldn’t stand listening to them go back and forth about Conor for a moment longer. “You don’t have to worry about my well-being. Conor is a wonderful man who’s been nothing but good to me, and I love him.”
“Rae?” My eyes were still closed, but I knew my mother was standing next to me as she whispered, “You had us worried sick.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“Are you okay?” Dad asked frantically. “Are you hurting or—”
“No, I think I’m okay.”
I cracked open my eyes, and the bright lights above me were almost too much to bear. Even though it was bothersome, I was relieved that I could actually see the light. I brought my hand up to my face, slightly shielding my eyes as I tried to open them wider.
That’s when my relief turned to agitation.
Everything was blurry. I tried blinking faster and even rubbed them, but it did little to help. It felt like I was looking through someone else’s glasses as I tried to focus on my mother’s face. My heart started to race, and my palms started to sweat. I was completely freaking out.
When my mother noticed that I was becoming distressed, she placed her hand on my shoulder. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”
“I knew this was going to happen.” I tried to hold back my tears. “I tried to tell you.”
“Tell us what?”
“I can’t see! Everything’s a blur!”
“It’s okay, sweetie. Dr. Grant had warned us that it was a possibility.”
My throat tightened. “I know, but I was hoping it wouldn’t be like this.”
“The surgery was just a few hours ago.” Dad was surprisingly calm when he said, “It’s going to take some time for everything to heal, and after that, I’m sure the blurriness will get better.”
“But what if it doesn’t?”
“Then, we’ll figure it out. The important thing is you’re alive and still here with us,” Dad fussed. “Nothing else matters.”
I didn’t respond.
There was no reason to.
There was nothing I could say or do that was going to change anything, so I laid my head back on the pillow and closed my eyes—shutting out the world as I wallowed in my sorrows.
I knew I was behaving childish and should’ve been thankful that Dr. Grant was able to fix the aneurysm, and I was, but at the same time, I was devastated that I’d lost my ability to see.
Mom tried talking to me, but her words fell on deaf ears. She simply didn’t understand that I didn’t want to hear how everything was going to be okay—especially when I knew it wasn’t.
She had been going on and on when suddenly she just stopped. I heard her whisper something to my father, and then they both walked out of the room. Seconds later, I heard Conor’s voice across the room. “Hey there, beautiful.”
I didn’t answer him.
I was too afraid I’d cry, so I kept my eyes closed and tried to pretend I was sleeping. Unfortunately, he wasn’t buying it. He came over and kissed me on the forehead as he whispered, “I know you’re awake.”
“My mother sent you in here to cheer me up, didn’t she?”
“Do you need cheering up?”
“No, what I need is the ability to see.”
“You just got out of surgery, babe. You gotta give it some time.”
“And if it doesn’t get better with time?”
“Then, it doesn’t.” He reached down and took my hand in his. “Either way, we’ll figure it out.”
I finally turned to look at him, and my heart broke when I realized I couldn’t make out his handsome face.
I couldn’t imagine spending the rest of my life not able to see the way Conor gazed at me with love in his eyes or his adorable, crooked smile.
The mere thought nearly broke me, and I started to cry. “I didn’t want it to be like this.”
“I get that, and there’s a good chance it’ll get better.” He gave my hand a slight squeeze. “But if it doesn’t, I’ll be here to help you through this.”
“Oh, Conor.” I reached over and placed the palm of my hand against his face. “I don’t know how I got so lucky to find you.”
“I’m the lucky one.” He leaned forward and pressed his lips against mine before saying. “Now, are you done pouting?”
“For the time being, but that’s not to say I won’t pout again later.”
“I would expect nothing less.”
Conor was still sitting with me when Dr. Grant came in to check on me. We told him about the issues with my vision, but he didn’t seem nearly as concerned about it as I was. He felt certain that it would improve over time, and if not, there were some rehabilitation options we could consider.
I was still distraught over the whole thing, but Dr. Grant’s casual reaction did make me feel a little better.
It gave me hope that, in time, it would improve enough for me to live a normal life.
The doctor went on to tell us that he considered the surgery a success, and as long as my incision continued to look good, I could go home in a day or so.
I was surprised but relieved.
Even with my distorted eyesight, I was ready to get out of that hospital and go home—or at least I thought I was. When it actually came time for me to be discharged, I wasn’t so sure.
I could see enough to get around, but I couldn’t drive or read a book, which made me a little apprehensive about being on my own. My parents were equally concerned, so I wasn’t surprised when my father suggested, “You know, you could come and stay with us. We can fix up your old room and—”
“Um, no.” I shook my head. “I’m not moving back home.”
“It wouldn’t be a permanent thing,” Mom added. “Just long enough for you to get back on your feet.”
Conor’s back stiffened, but he didn’t say a word. He simply stood there and listened as I told Dad, “I appreciate the offer, but I want things to stay as normal as possible, and that can’t happen if I’m living with you and Mom.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m positive.” I slipped my arm around Conor’s waist and smiled. “I’m going to be fine. Besides, I’ll have Haleigh and Conor to look out for me.”
“That she does.” He pulled me a little closer and announced, “We’ve already got Rae’s place all set up for her.”
“Okay, but you gotta promise me if it gets to be too much, you’ll let us know.”
“I promise.”
Mom and Dad followed us downstairs and helped me into Conor’s truck—which was no small feat.
I was stubborn and wanted to do everything on my own, but I simply couldn’t.
I was still getting accustomed to the change in my vision, and it was especially difficult whenever there were bright lights or a great deal of movement.
Dr. Grant had given me some special glasses, but they only helped a little.
Even so, I still managed to get into the truck without falling on my face.
I was just about to close the truck door when Mom came up to me and said, “I’ll be by tomorrow to check on you.
Just let me know if you need me to bring anything. ”
“Okay, I’ll call you tonight.”
“Sounds good.”
She gave me one last hug, and then she and Dad headed over to their car. Once they were gone, Conor started his truck and asked, “You ready?”
“Oh, yeah, I’m more than ready.”
With that, he pulled out of the parking lot and drove us over to my apartment.
As soon as we parked, Haleigh ran up to the truck and opened my door.
She gave me a big hug and welcomed me home, then helped Conor get me inside.
I could’ve made it on my own, but they both insisted.
I hadn’t realized why until I walked through the front door and discovered that they’d moved all the furniture. “What’s all this?”
“We thought it would make it easier for you to get around.” Haleigh came up beside me and asked, “What do you think?”
“I think it looks great, but you really didn’t have to do that.”
“I know, but we wanted to do something to make things a little easier for you to get around.” Haleigh led me over to the sofa and waited for me to sit as she said, “Besides, this place needed a little change.”
“That was really sweet of you. Thank you, both of you.”
“Of course.” She plopped down next to me and hugged me again. “It’s so great to have you back home.”
“I was only gone a couple of days.”
“I know, but it seemed like so much longer. And when your parents started talking about how they wanted you to move in with them, I thought I would die.”
“Oh, you heard about that?”
“Hell yeah, I heard about it,” she scoffed. “It’s all they talked about since you came out of surgery, and it was all I could do to keep myself from going off on them. No way would I let them take you away from me.”
I giggled. “Well, I’m glad it didn’t come to that.”
“Me, too.” Haleigh gave me a little bump with her shoulder. “So, what do you wanna do tonight?”
“I don’t know.” I shrugged, then looked over to Conor, “What did y’all have in mind?”
“I was thinking I might ask Locke to come by, and we could all order some Chinese takeout and watch movies.”
“Chinese sounds good,” Conor answered. “But I doubt Rae’s gonna be up for watching movies any time soon.”
“Oh, God, I’m sorry, Rae!” Haleigh gasped. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“I think a movie sounds great.” I stood and started towards my bedroom. “But I’m going to need a shower first.”
I hadn’t gotten far when Conor asked, “Need a hand?”
“No, I think I’ve got it.”
I placed my hand on the wall and used it as a guide as I walked down the hall. When I got to my room, I started searching for something to change into but discovered that it was going to be more challenging than I expected.
I had a hard time telling the difference between all my different t-shirts—much less all my shorts and sweats. It was frustrating beyond belief, and I ended up tossing them all onto the floor in a fit of rage.
I stood there for a moment, just staring at the blurred mess I’d made, and tried my best not to have a breakdown. I inhaled a couple of deep breaths, then finally grabbed something to wear and headed to the bathroom.
I’d hoped the shower would go a little better, but no such luck.
I had a hard time moving around the small space without knocking things over and tripping on the floor mat, but I eventually managed to turn on the water and even found my bodywash.
I put on one of the waterproof bandages the nurse had given me for my head and incision, then stepped into the shower.
The warm water felt incredible against my back and shoulders, and it wasn’t long before the tension I’d been carrying started to fade.
I carefully washed most of my hair and did a haphazard job of shaving, then got out and dried off.
I thought I was getting the hang of this whole vision thing until I started to get dressed.
I managed to get on my bra and panties, but the second I started to put on my sweats, I misjudged the leg opening and ended up falling back on my ass with a hard thud. “Shit!”
I sat there with the waistband of my sweats still in my hand and started crying, and by crying, I mean sobbing like an inconsolable child. I hadn’t been sitting there long when the bathroom door flew open and Conor came rushing in. “Damn, babe. Are you okay? Did you hurt yourself?”
“No,” I wailed. “I-I’m fine. I just tripped.”
He scooped me up and carried me into the bedroom, then sat me down on the edge of the bed. “I should’ve been there to help. “
“No, I wanted to do it on my own.”
“It’s your first day home from the hospital, Rae. You gotta give yourself some time.”
“I know, but I gotta be able to do the basics on my own. Otherwise, I’ll never get through this.” After I wiped the tears from my face, I slipped my feet through the legs of my sweats, then stood to pull them up. “I need my t-shirt.”
“I’ll get it.” Conor stepped back into the bathroom, grabbed it off the sink, then handed it to me. “Here ya go.”
“Thanks.” I slipped it over my head, then asked, “Do I look ridiculous?”
“You look beautiful.”
“You’re just saying that.” I wound my arms around his neck and smiled. “But I love you for it.”
“And I love you.”
Conor lowered his mouth to mine and kissed me with a reverence and possessiveness that ignited an ache deep inside me—an ache that was all for him.
His fingertips lightly twisted in my hair as he pulled me close and kissed me long and deep, then he nipped my bottom lip between his teeth, seducing me with his skillful mouth.
I was lost in a delicious haze of desire when I heard Haleigh shout, “Hey, you two. Locke is here with the Chinese!”
I broke away from our embrace and shouted back, “Okay, we’ll be there in a minute!”
“You good?”
“Yeah, I’m good.”
“That’s my girl.”
My heart swelled as I stood there in the arms of the man I loved—the man who made me feel utterly complete. I couldn’t imagine feeling more content than I did at that moment, and thanks to Conor, I had no doubt that there would be many more moments like these to come.