Chapter 19
Billy
“We have a big game tonight.”
“Oh, yeah?” Hop didn’t skip a beat before asking, “Where we playing?”
“Got multiple locations, and I’m gonna need you and Tripp to go by my place and pick up the van.”
“Sure thing. Just need to know where I’m going.”
“I’ll text the address. You and Tripp will handle the first two on your own. I’ll be waiting for you at the third.”
“Three locations?”
“Afraid so.”
“Damn. It’s gonna be a long fucking night.”
“Yeah, it is, so get a move on. The sooner we start, the sooner we’ll be done.”
“You got it, boss.”
With that, Hop hung up the phone, and I went to track down the brothers.
They all knew I was in for a tough night, so Viper and his boys were doing what they could to help me get started on the cleanup.
They’d already gathered most of the casualties and had placed them on a tarp in the garage, and I needed to check in on their progress.
When I walked in, Lynch and Shotgun were bringing in the guard that had shot me in the arm, and from the looks of it, they were struggling.
As soon as they got the guy over the tarp, Lynch let go of his feet and let them drop to the ground with a hard thud.
“Holy shit. This dude puts new meaning to thick.”
“Yeah, he was one of those who took the whole ‘clean your plate’ thing to heart,” Shotgun grumbled.
“You ain’t kidding.” Lynch looked down at the guy and shook his head. “Billy’s gonna have a time with this one.”
“I’ll manage just fine,” I assured him.
“I don’t know.” Lynch snickered as he said, “Gonna take some maneuvering to get this big fella in that incinerator of yours.”
“It won’t be a problem.” While I was grateful for the help, I was in dire need of some peace and quiet, and there was no way in hell I was going to get that with them around. “I can cover things from here.”
Viper sounded skeptical as he asked, “You sure about that?”
“Yeah, you guys have done more than enough.”
“Alright, boys. You heard the man.” Viper waved his hand toward the door. “Let’s roll out.”
And just like that, everyone started filing out of the garage and headed out to the SUVs.
As soon as they were all gone, I headed to the staff kitchen to look for some gloves and a couple of trash bags.
Once I’d found what I needed, I headed outside and started collecting shell casings.
I could’ve just waited for Hop and Trip, but I needed to get started.
Over the years, cleaning had become therapeutic for me.
It gave me time to process the things that were going on in my head, and after everything that had gone down, I had a lot to process.
I felt like the weight of the world was crashing down on me.
Not only was I struggling with my feelings toward Everleigh and the crazy stunt she pulled, I was also dealing with the fact that I was now a cold-blooded killer—something I never dreamed I would be.
I walked around DeLuca’s grounds and continued to pick up shells as I tried to make sense of it all. I knew I’d done what I had to do. My life was in danger. I had no choice but to react, but I never thought I would ever be in such a horrible position—I never dreamed I would take someone’s life.
I’d heard it was tough, that the guilt would eat at you for years to come, but this was more than just guilt. I’d willingly put myself in the situation to kill-or-be-killed, and every time I pulled that trigger, a piece of me broke—leaving me a fraction of the man I’d used to be.
Maybe it was the officer in me, but I couldn’t help but wonder if there was another way to resolve this thing with Antonio. Not that it mattered now. The damage had been done, so I’d have to learn to live with it. Everleigh, on the other hand, was a different matter altogether.
I hadn’t just fucked up today.
I’d been fucking up for weeks—since the day she came crashing into my life. I’d tried to keep my distance, but the second I let my guard down, I was done.
I never dreamed anyone could get to me the way she did.
I’d been void of feeling for so long that I didn’t know I was even capable of letting someone in.
I’d spent years guarding myself against all the pain and heartache that I felt when I lost Grace, but without even trying, Everleigh had torn down my walls and shown me a world that I’d forgotten existed.
I’d started to have feelings for her—feelings I thought I didn’t need or deserve, but I had them just the same. And they terrified me. I’d already experienced the ultimate loss, and I knew I couldn’t survive it again—which was why I was so pissed about her showing up at Antonio’s place.
I understood why she’d done it—that she was trying to help, but she’d put her life in danger, and that had me spinning.
I’d hoped that working would help me sort through all the thoughts racing around in my head, but it had done little to help.
I was still wound up tight—maybe even more so than when I started.
I kept at it, and after several hours, Hop and Tripp finally showed up.
I used the control panel to open the gate, and Hop pulled through.
When he got up to the house, I had him drive around back.
Once he was parked, he went over and took a look in the garage.
“Damn, Billy. You weren’t lying when you said this was a big job. ”
“Yeah, we got a long night ahead of us.” I grabbed my duffle bag from the back of the van. “How’d it go with the warehouses?”
“Not too bad.” I put on my Hazmat suit as I listened to him say, “I wasn’t sure how many casualties there’d be, so I went on and took the five from the warehouses by your place.”
“Probably a good idea.” I glanced over at the tarp as I told him, “We’re gonna have a tight fit as it is.”
“Don’t know how we’re gonna get this sorted before daylight.”
Tripp had already started loading the van when he interjected, “We’ll manage. We always do.”
“That we do.”
Without wasting any more time, we all got to work, and we kept working until DeLuca’s place was absolutely spotless.
I knew there would be questions about his whereabouts, so Tripp and I headed upstairs to his room and packed several suitcases worth of clothes.
We did the same for his wife and kids, then took everything back down to the van.
Once we had everything loaded, we locked up the house, then headed to my place.
We’d already had a long night, but there was still a great deal of work that had to be done.
Hop was biting at the bit to be done, so we jumped back into it and it wasn’t long before we had everything wrapped up.
Tripp looked quite pleased as he announced, “See, I knew we could do it.”
“You boys did good.” This whole thing with DeLuca and Everleigh had gotten me to thinking about the future, and I thought it was only fair to share what was on my mind. “I’m thinking about making a change.”
“What kind of change?”
“I’m not sure yet, but I don’t think I got it in me to do this shit anymore.”
I looked over at Hop, and he didn’t look the least bit surprised by my declaration. In fact, he seemed to expect it. “You gotta do what you gotta do.”
“But what does that mean for us?”
“Can’t say for sure.” I gave Tripp a pat on the shoulder. “But we’ll talk about it. Figure out something that works for all of us.”
Tripp still looked a little skeptical as he said, “Okay. Sounds good.”
“Come on, Kid.” Hop nodded his head toward his truck. “It’s late. Let’s get out of here.”
I watched as they both got in Hop’s truck and started down the drive.
Once they were out of sight, I went upstairs and took a hot shower.
I considered going back to the clubhouse to get Everleigh, but it was late—really late.
I figured she was already asleep, and I didn’t see the point in waking her.
And I was beyond exhausted.
I figured I’d fall right to sleep.
I didn’t.
I tossed and turned, and was becoming more restless by the second.
I just couldn’t seem to get settled knowing that Everleigh wasn’t in the house.
I couldn’t begin to explain it, but there was something about her sleeping in her bed or lying there next to me that put me at ease.
I knew I wasn’t going to be able to sleep without her there, so I got out of bed and threw on some clothes.
Seconds later, I was on my bike and driving over to the Ruthless Sinners’ clubhouse.
When I pulled up to the gate, one of Viper’s boys came over to me and asked, “Yo, Billy. What are you doing here?”
“Came to get Everleigh.”
“Ah, I haven’t seen her. Pretty sure she already crashed for the night.”
“I’m sure she has. I’m gettin’ her all the same.”
“Understood.” He eased the gate open as he said, “I’ll let Davies know you’re here for her.”
I gave him a nod, then pulled through the gate and parked right next to the front entrance. I was about to head inside when Davies opened the door. I could tell by his groggy eyes that he’d been sleeping, but he didn’t act the least bit put out as he asked, “You looking for Everleigh?”
“I am.” As I stepped inside, I asked, “You got any idea where she is?”
“Yeah, Country put her up in one of the guest rooms.” He turned and started walking out of the bar as he said, “I’ll take ya to her.”
“Thanks, man.”
“No problem.” He led me down the hall, and when he got to the right room, he eased the door open and whispered, “She’s in here.”
“Appreciate this, Davies.”
“Anytime.”
He waited for me to step inside, and then, he disappeared back down the hall.
I wasn’t planning on staying long, so I didn’t bother shutting the door.
I used the light from the hall to help me see as I made it over to the side of the bed.
After I eased the covers back, I leaned down, and her eyes flew open the second I lifted her from the mattress. “Billy?”
“Um-hmm.”
“What are you doing?”
“Taking you home.”
“What time is it?”
I didn’t respond. I simply grunted, then started out the door. Her brows furrowed as she pushed, “Where have you been? Why didn’t you come back with the guys?”
I wouldn’t even look at her as I continued down the hall and into the bar.
“Um, Billy?”
Again, I didn’t respond, which didn’t seem to sit well with her. “Oh, it’s like that, huh? You just going to leave me for hours on end and then not speak to me?”
“Got nothing to say.”
Shaken by my harsh tone, she shimmied out of my arms, and without another word, she followed me out to the parking lot, pouting all the way. She didn’t say a word as I got on my bike and handed her the spare helmet. She simply glared at me as she slipped it on, then hopped on behind me.
I could’ve said something to ease the tension between us, but I was too fucking stubborn for that. Without saying so much as a word, I started the engine and pulled out of the clubhouse parking lot. Seconds later, we were on the main road and headed back to my place.
When we got back to the house, Everleigh followed me inside, then, without saying a word, went to her room and closed the door. I knew she wasn’t happy with me, but that was okay. I wasn’t exactly happy with her either.
After I locked everything up, I kicked off my shoes and fell into bed.
Unlike earlier, I was able to drift right off to sleep, and I slept for hours.
In fact, it was almost noon before I finally pulled myself out of bed.
I brushed my teeth and threw on a pair of jeans before heading out to the kitchen.
Everleigh was sitting at the counter, and she didn’t take her eyes off me as I went over and poured myself a cup of coffee.
I had no doubt that she was hoping to hash things out with me, but I wasn’t ready to talk.
I needed time to collect my thoughts, so I didn’t end up saying something I’d regret.
So, I decided to put off talking to her and carried my coffee outside.
That was a decision I would soon regret.