Quinn
I sit at the table and watch the city below me. It’s early, but the sun is starting to rise, and there’s people milling about. I couldn’t sleep, no matter how hard I tried. My mind has been replaying everything that happened yesterday.
God, I can’t believe that it’s not even been twenty-four hours since I married Lorenzo.
So much has happened, and it’s hard to wrap my head around.
There’s a pounding in my head, and I know it’s from where I banged it against the mirror yesterday when Da pushed me onto it.
I slide my hand into my hair and my fingers brush against a lump.
I bite back a whimper as pain radiates from my head.
God, my da is such a dick. I’m surprised Mam didn’t do anything yesterday. I was on edge waiting for her to appear and try to ruin the day, but she was too busy lapping up the attention of being the mother of the bride.
Of course, Daire had to find a way to hurt me.
I shouldn’t have been shocked, but it still hurts as I remember the way she and Lorenzo stood so close and she had her hand on his chest. They were too damn close to be appropriate, and I don’t care what Lorenzo said, it was something.
He was brought into Daire’s plans to hurt and humiliate me, and he was a willing participant, even if he didn’t realize he was.
He let her get that close. He didn’t step back, he stood there and let her touch him.
But when we came to the hotel room, the anger I had bottled up all night spilled out, then a cold calm washed over me when I realized that it was my wedding night.
It was as though everything I’d ever been taught came flooding back to me, and I became resigned to the fact that sex was inevitable.
After all, that’s all that I had been told and persuaded to do.
‘Make your husband happy, it’s not about you.
It’s about them and the pleasure you give them.
’ That’s what Mam had told me the moment I had become engaged to Lorenzo and last night it replayed over and over again in my head.
But then he said, ‘Tonight is our wedding night, and Daire doesn't get that.’
It was as though something in me switched. He was right. Daire didn’t get to be with Lorenzo. I would finally have something that was just for me, only for me. Daire couldn’t take that away. I wouldn’t be second or the replacement. I’d be the wife he slept with.
I never expected to receive as much pleasure as I did when his mouth touched mine or when his lips moved across my body. Everything seemed to fade away and the pleasure was overwhelming. I was never warned that my husband could please me. I was only told that I would please him.
But now that morning has arrived, everything is replaying over and over in my mind.
I was stupid to let my emotions get the best of me.
I let that anger override every ounce of sense that I have.
If I had cooled down, I don’t think I’d have slept with him.
But it’s done and while I’d have done things differently, I don’t regret it.
Lorenzo is fast asleep, he doesn’t look so angry or menacing as he does. He looks sort of peaceful and that’s not something I had expected. He looks younger than he normally looks, but I guess that’s what happens when you have a permanent scowl on your face.
A while later, I hear the sheets rustle from the bed and know that he’s awake. I tense slightly, wondering what is going to happen now. I feel completely out of my depth, and I’ve no idea what awaits me.
We make small talk, and thankfully, he goes to shower and once he’s dressed he leaves the room.
I take a deep breath, finally able to breathe, but I know that’ll be short-lived, because soon enough, we’ll be going to my new home, the Mariano estate, and as much as I’m prepared for it, I don’t think I’m ready.
But there’s no going back now. I’m Mrs. Mariano and that’s where we’ll be living.
I’m on edge as we drive toward the Mariano estate.
Lorenzo and I are sitting in the back of the car, while Marco’s driving us.
Before getting in the car, he gave me a small nod of his head as we approached the car.
I smiled back at him, and I have a feeling that he believes what Lorenzo says about me, about what happened to Orla.
I wish I could set them straight about it, but the truth is crazy to hear.
I mean who’d believe that my sister and mam conspired against me and made me the fall guy?
But that’s not why I haven't told them. It’s because of Conn.
When the truth does comes out he’s going to be the person deeply affected by it all and I don’t want my brother to be hurt, but I guess now it’s inevitable.
The truth will come out as Lorenzo is tenacious and won’t stop until he has every single answer he’s looking for.
It just means the truth coming out about the part that my parents and Daire had in hiding the truth and using me as the scapegoat.
I never wanted anyone to know just how deeply unloved I am.
I’ve struggled with it my entire life, wondering what I did wrong and why I was unlovable.
I believed that there was something fundamentally wrong with me.
A small part of me still believes that. That tiny part that yearns for my parents' love and affection, but I know the truth. They don’t care about anyone other than Lorenzo for my da and Daire for Mam.
It’s something that I’ve come to terms with and as much as it hurts, I’m finally out of that home and away from the toxicity of the dynamics it brought.
Lorenzo keeps glancing at me, almost as though he’s trying to find the words to say to me, but hasn’t figured out what. I ignore him and turn my gaze to the window. I'm nervous as hell and I don’t want to show it.
The gates open as we pull in. Security greets us politely, and I know that I’ll need to learn their names.
I won’t be like Daire and Mam, unable to name the majority of the staff because they think they’re better than them.
I despise that, and I want to ensure that I get to know as many if not all of the staff in my new home.
I step out of the car, pull in a deep breath, and breathe in the cool air. I glance around and smile. God, it’s stunningly beautiful here. It’s somewhere I could find peace. I can’t help but think that I no longer belong to the Delaneys, but the question is, will I belong here?
“Oh my God, you’re finally here!” I hear a sweet but lyrical voice call out. I spin on my heel just in time to see Valentina, Lorenzo’s youngest sister, rush out of the house and barrel into me.
I wrap my arms around her and go back a step. I feel heat from behind me as hands grip my waist to steady me. “Careful, Val,” Lorenzo practically barks at his sister.
“Oh hush you,” Valentina chides as she pulls back from me, holding me at arm’s length and looks over me. “You’re so beautiful, Quinn. I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a stunning bride as you, yesterday.”
I feel heat creep up my cheeks at her words. “Thank you.”
“Come,” she says as she takes my hand. “Everyone is waiting to see you, then I’ll show you around the house. I’m so excited that you’re going to live with us.” She turns to Lorenzo, her gaze moves to his hands at my waist and her smile broadens. “Don’t you have work to do?"
I bite my lip as I take in Lorenzo’s face, his eyes filled with anger as he looks at his youngest sister.
He doesn’t seem happy with her bossing him about, but I have to admit, I love that she doesn’t care about the menacing look on his face and pulls me from his hands while leading me into the house.
I can hear Lorenzo speaking to some of the staff. I look back to see my suitcase along with a few boxes that I had packed up being taken by the staff. I feel terrible that I'm not helping, but Valentina doesn't stop. She drags me into the sitting room where her entire family is waiting for me.
Cesare is seated beside Vittoria who has Matteo, their son, on her lap. Vittoria has a beautiful welcoming smile on her face. “Hello, Quinn,” she greets me. “Welcome to the family.”
“Thank you,” I reply softly as Cesare rises and moves toward me. I tense slightly but thankfully don’t show it. "You have a lovely home,” I tell him, my manners kicking in.
His smile is very much like Lorenzo’s when it’s warm, instead of menacing.
“Quinn,” he says gently. “This is now your home too. You are a Mariano now, and we’re honored that you have joined our family.
Please make yourself at home. You are free to go anywhere, though I would advise you to steer clear of all the studies and offices we have. ”
I nod instantly. I know better than to go anywhere near them.
My da drilled that into me when I was a little girl.
There's nothing good that could come from overhearing anything that would be said in those rooms, so staying away is the best option.
“Absolutely,” I reply and watch the tension leave his shoulders.
“I appreciate the warm welcome, it has helped put me at ease.”
I catch Lorenzo’s sister, Elisabetta, watching me with a blank face. If the tables were turned and a woman I barely knew came to live in my home and married my brother, I’d be very skeptical too. She’s seated beside Giovanni, who looks as though he wants to be anywhere but here.
“Okay,” Valentina says, stepping forward. “You can all speak with her later, no need to overwhelm her now. Besides, I’m giving her a tour.”