Quinn #2
His hand moves soothingly down my back. He starts to rub circles that calm me instantly. "They won't be forever."
I lean back against him. "I know."
"You don't need to carry this by yourself."
I smile softly. "You sound like your dad."
A low laugh rumbles through his chest. "That's the most offensive thing you've ever said to me."
I laugh. God, I love when he’s so carefree around me. I love that he feels comfortable and at ease when he’s with me.
He presses a kiss to my temple and returns to whatever document he'd been reading. I sit there in his lap and turn my gaze out the windows. My mind reels with so many things. Daire, Frederick, Mam, Da, and even my brothers. It’s been weeks since I’ve seen them.
I know they’re busy, but man, I miss them.
And I think about how this is my life now. That I have this amazing man, and the feeling that no matter what happens, we're facing it together. I love him. I've known it for weeks now, I've just been too afraid to say it out loud, but soon.
Dinner is loud as always. Matteo is sitting in his bouncy chair beside Vittoria and babbling away to anyone and everyone who will listen to him. Vittoria is somehow feeding him, eating her own dinner, and listening attentively to everyone.
Valentina is telling us a story about something Erin said earlier, and she's laughing so hard at her own retelling that she has to keep stopping halfway through. It doesn't help that Giovanni keeps interrupting her and Val keeps telling him to shut up, he keeps talking anyway.
Across the table, Ciro is trying to discuss something with Lorenzo, but every time he gets three words into the conversation someone talks over him.
Lorenzo sits beside me, one hand on my thigh, a steady and constant reminder that he’s here. His thumb will occasionally swipe along my thigh, and I’m glad that it’s only occasionally, otherwise I’d be a hot mess sitting in the middle of all this noise trying not to moan.
I catch Lorenzo watching me from beside me.
"Why are you smiling?" he asks quietly.
I hadn't even realized I was. "No reason."
His eyes narrow. He hates when I brush his questions off. I just smile wider as the main course arrives. Joe has made meatballs and spaghetti. It smells delicious, and I can’t wait to taste it.
Being around this family is no longer overwhelming, it feels normal, like home. Here, I belong.
The realization settles warmly in my chest.
I reach for my wine, but stop as the smell hits me first. My stomach immediately turns.
Oh God. No. Not again. I put the glass back down.
"Everything okay?" Lorenzo asks quietly.
I force a smile. "Fine."
It's not entirely a lie as the nausea passes almost as quickly as it arrives. I reach for my fork instead.
The conversation continues around me.
I take a bite of the meatballs and spaghetti. The taste is amazing. I laugh at Valentina hitting Giovanni with a napkin.
I take another bite, then freeze. Something isn't right. At first I can't place it, but then my lips start tingling and my stomach drops. I put my fork down, all the while, the conversation continues around me, but all of it feels suddenly far away, because I know this feeling.
God, I know this feeling.
The tingling spreads, to my tongue, to the inside of my mouth, and to my throat. I swallow, and immediately regret it. The tightness is there. Faint, it’s just the beginning, but it’s there. Peanuts.
Fear slams into me. I look down at my plate, and my pulse starts to hammer.
No. No. No.
I try to take another breath. My chest feels tight, it feels wrong. And suddenly all I can think is: someone put peanuts in my food. I try to breathe, but I can't. Panic hits me hard and fast, not because this has never happened before, because it has, it hits because I know exactly what's coming.
My tongue is swelling, my throat is closing, and every breath feels tighter than the one before it.
"Quinn." Lorenzo's voice cuts through the noise.
I look at him. I’m struggling to breathe, my vision starts to blur. I can hear the scraping of a chair. One second he's beside me, the next he's in front of me, his hands are on my face.
"Look at me," he demands, his voice low and dangerous.
I try. God, I'm trying. My vision is already blurring around the edges.
"My..." I swallow and instantly regret it. "Bag."
His eyes widen with pure fucking terror.
"EpiPen," I choke out. The word barely makes it past my lips.
Lorenzo goes pale. "Valentina!" he roars, and the entire room freezes. “Her bag. Now."
Valentina is moving before he's finished speaking. The chair crashes behind her as she sprints from the room.
Everything happens at once, there’s so much noise and yet I can’t make out much. Lorenzo helps me onto the ground, my breathing sounds horrendous as I struggle to gasp for air, everything is fading, but all I can focus on is Lorenzo, because he's kneeling in front of me, and his hands are shaking.
"Stay with me." His voice cracks.
"I'm okay," I try to say, but it comes out as a wheeze.
His jaw clenches. “Stay with me,” he pleads.
"Found it!" Valentina's voice.
She's back, and the EpiPen is in Lorenzo's hand. His relief is so immediate it almost hurts to look at.
"I've got you," he says. His voice is rough and unsteady, nothing like Lorenzo. "I've got you."
The injector presses against my thigh, and a second later it fires.
Pain blooms, then relief. Except it isn't relief, not really. I drag in a breath, but it catches halfway down. A horrible wheezing sound escapes me.
No, no, no, no. The EpiPen should be working.
It always works. Maybe not immediately, but enough that I can breathe, and the panic starts to ease enough that I know I'm going to be okay.
This isn't easing.
Why isn’t it working?
Panic claws its way up my throat, my chest feels tight. Too tight, like someone is standing on it.
"She's not improving." I don’t know who says that, they sound far away.
"Call an ambulance,” Lorenzo thunders, the order cracks through the room.
"It's already done," someone says. It sounds like I’m underwater.
I try to breathe again, but I can't. The room tilts slightly and I wonder if this is it? If this is how I die?
Lorenzo's hands are on either side of my face. "Quinn."
I look at him, or try to, but everything is blurry now.
His eyes are wild, terrified. I've never seen him look like this.
"Stay with me."
I nod, at least I think I do.
My fingers are tingling, my lips feel numb, the pressure in my chest is getting worse.
Not better, worse.
"Fuck." The word tears out of Lorenzo, raw and helpless.
He gathers me into his arms before anyone can stop him, holding me so tightly, it almost hurts.
"You're okay,” his voice is rough. "Look at me."
I try. God, I'm trying, but my vision swims, the edges of the room are disappearing.
"Lorenzo." My voice is barely a whisper.
His eyes lock onto mine immediately. "I'm here." The answer comes so fast it breaks something inside me. "I'm here." His forehead presses against mine.
I feel his hand shaking against my back.
Then the room spins, and the last thing I hear is Lorenzo shouting for the ambulance to hurry the fuck up, and then everything starts going dark.