Chapter 36 Livy #2
And then the oppressive weight was gone. But she still couldn’t make out where she was. She still couldn’t hear. Something tried to penetrate the roar in her mind, and she flinched.
“Livy? Livy.”
She lashed out in what she thought was the direction of the noise.
“Fucking bloody hell.”
Some of her surroundings started coming back into focus. Peeling plaster walls. Worn furniture. Cracked ceiling. She recognized this place. Breath exploded from her lungs, stuttering and out of control, but she was just grateful her lungs were working again.
“Livy…” A tentative voice stole her attention, and her gaze landed on a ghost-white Derek. Ghost-white except for where a small drop of blood was forming on his bottom lip.
“Derek?” she said in a small voice.
He cautiously approached her, fists clenched at his sides like he had to make a physical effort not to reach for her. He rolled his bottom lip in and winced. “Your right-hook will never cease to impress me, love.”
Her eyes slid shut, and heat flooded her cheeks.
“I’m sorry.” She’d just completely lost herself.
Had a-a-a fit. Goodness, she’d attacked Derek.
In the middle of a tryst. She’d thought with Derek it would be different.
He could touch her, and she’d still felt safe. But apparently, she was still broken.
Derek dropped to his knees beside the chaise, blotting his lip with his lawn shirt he must have picked up off the floor at some point. “You have nothing to apologize for, Livy. I’m the one who’s sorry. Are you well?”
His gaze swept over her as if he was looking for injury. But there weren’t any, of course. Not on the surface.
His features tightened. “Bloody fucking damn it. I shouldn’t have—I should have never…I’m so bloody sorry.”
She hastily shook her head. “It’s not your fault.
I promise you did nothing wrong. I didn’t realize…
I thought I could…with you.” She wrinkled her nose against the sting building there.
“I really wanted this,” she whispered. “Still do.” She hadn’t realized how much until now.
Until it felt like the opportunity was being taken away from her. Against her will.
A warm, solid hand slid over her cheek, and she leaned into it.
Every muscle in her body went lax. There was comfort in his touch, but also an immense relief.
Because he could at least still touch her without repercussion.
But she couldn’t expect him to sit here all night cradling her face.
She supposed she should let him go home.
The night was over. She’d quite thoroughly ruined it.
“Well, if that isn’t the most pitiful look I’ve ever seen.” His lips hooked up in a half-smile. “Why so glum, clever girl?”
Her stomach flipped over at the pet name. And at the teasing glint in those mesmerizing green eyes. It was the softest she’d ever seen the man. All for her.
She rolled onto her side to face him and propped up on one elbow. “I’m disappointed,” she admitted. “And frustrated. I wanted to take this for myself. Maybe it’s for the best. I really shouldn’t be propositioning notorious rogues and having trysts with them in my parlor.”
Something flashed in his eyes, something she couldn’t quite discern. “No, you really shouldn’t be, Miss Forester. There’s only one man you should be propositioning.”
Ah. Jealousy.
She bit her lip against a smile and nodded solemnly. “You are exactly right. I should only be propositioning Mr. Thorton.”
A growl cut through the chamber.
And she burst out into a fit of mirth. “You are much too easy to provoke. Jealousy looks quite nice on you, my lord.”
His expression immediately went dry, and he glared at her.
“I am not jealous. I am…very concerned about your mental wellbeing. If you would rather proposition that imbecile over me, well, I’m not sure what that says about your powers of reasoning.
Perhaps, clever girl isn’t an apt name for you.
” He studied his nails absently. “And I am not easy to provoke.”
She pressed her lips tight to hold back the laugh building in her chest. Heaven help her. Did he really think he was fooling her with that? He was so prickly. He was like a prickly little hedgehog.
“Derek?”
His gaze flicked to hers, then away. Bored as ever. Her lips twitched.
She traced a finger down the center of his chest. “Come here, Derek.”
He narrowed his eyes at her, but he leaned forward, bringing them inches apart.
She searched his eyes. Got lost in the forest of green.
She wasn’t one to curse, but blast and damn she wanted this man.
A want so intense she felt it down to the marrow of her bones.
Her heart drummed against her chest. She wanted this man in so many ways.
She wasn’t sure in what ways she was allowed to have him.
What he was willing to give. But she knew of one thing he was most definitely amenable to.
She’d take that. In the back of her mind, where that determined strategic woman hid, she whispered, for now.
His nose gently grazed over hers, so much closer now, both of them pulled by the same invisible force. Something heady, anticipatory.
“Derek?” she whispered.
“Mmm?”
“Probability.”