Chapter 31
Ryan
I lace up my boots and throw a hoodie on over my jersey, ready to follow the team out onto the field and sit my arse down on that bench.
Ian and Jamie are hyped up, always prepared – they’re always played from the first minute.
Well, I guess Jamie is the captain and Ian is definitely the best in our family, no doubt about it.
Apart from all the bullshit he went through when he thought he’d lost Riley – when he was booted off the team for a few run-ins – he’s never strayed from the rails. No warnings, no slip-ups.
The perfect player, the perfect brother, the perfect son. And now, apparently, the perfect man, too.
I wonder if he has a weakness, an Achilles heel – something that makes him lose his mind.
Ah, yeah. One. Always the same: his woman. And soon, with the baby on the way, things are going to be really tough for him. It almost makes me want to gloat, to finally see him as a human being, see him crumble and give way – but I’m not that much of a bastard. Not even me.
I catch up to them just as the coach is walking over.
“O’Connor!”
Both me and Ian tense up, waiting.
“The dickhead.”
His clarification doesn’t help.
“Little Ryan,” he scoffs.
Little Ryan.
I see Nick’s managed to get to him, too. Another reason to hate him.
“You’re on. First minute.”
“What?”
“What didn’t you understand? It’s a simple sentence, even Scott would get it.”
“No, it’s just that I…”
“My God, you’re all as bad as each other. Who the fuck has landed me with this team?”
The coach walks off, yelling his way through the changing rooms.
“Big day for little Ryan,” Jamie says, winding me up.
“A huge day,” Ian adds. It’s fine. I’m not nervous.
“Try not to fuck it up,” Jamie continues. “I’m keeping an eye on you.”
“Come on, Jamie, let’s not put any more pressure on him – can’t you see he’s about to pass out?”
“What? Me? I’m fine.”
They both burst into fits of laughter.
“Sure, Ryan, sure. You’re great,” and they both walk off, chuckling to themselves.
Apparently two arsehole brothers weren’t enough – now I have our team captain, Ian’s soon-to-be-brother-in-law, too.
My life just gets better and better.
I take a deep breath and decide to follow them, trying to clear my mind for the next ninety minutes and do the best I can. That’s what I’ve been called up to do, and it’s what everyone’s expecting from me.
We jog back into the changing rooms after the match, shouting and jumping around like monkeys, high as kites. Saying I’m excited would be a euphemism. I’m ecstatic, proud…I’m happy. I feel it again after so long, and for the right reasons.
Sport: that’s what I really needed. Just rugby. Ian was right, maybe I should’ve listened to him before – but better late than never.
“Ah, little Ryan,” Jamie leaps onto my back. “You gave us a hard time, but it was all worth it in the end.”
“Oh, fuck off, Jamie.”
“You wish…” he says, poking fun at me.
I shake him off, pretending to be annoyed, when I immediately feel someone else jump onto me.
“Fuck, Ryan! That’s how you play!” Ian thumps my back enthusiastically. “There’s nothing better than winning next to your brother.”
“Oh, leave it!”
“I’m emotional. I’m fucking proud of you! Seriously. I knew that sooner or later you’d do something great. All those training sessions in the garden have finally paid off!”
“Hey, don’t take credit for things you don’t deserve,” I say, even though Ian’s right about everything.
If it weren’t for him, I’d have quit years ago. If he hadn’t listened to me, encouraged me, sometimes taken a few blows for me. If he hadn’t been secretly training me, giving me advice. If he hadn’t given me all the support I needed, I wouldn’t be here now.
“Hey, hey…”
His voice immediately darkens my mood.
“Little Ryan, you’re full of surprises!”
I turn around, ready to tell him where to shove it, when I see Evan beside him.
“Oh…er…hi,” I say.
I was so happy I almost forgot he’d come.
“Wow, Ryan! I didn’t know what I was missing.” Apparently, Evan’s as excited as we are. “You’re all…you’re just…wow!”
I give him a small smile.
“It was wicked, mate. Really.”
“This boy had never been to a match,” Nick says, placing a hand on his shoulder. “He doesn’t even know the rules, for fuck’s sake. We have to fix that.”
“Don’t get too carried away…wait, what the hell are you doing in the changing rooms?”
Nick laughs smugly. “I’m everywhere.”
“Please!”
“Besides, Evan couldn’t miss the rest. Just seeing the match isn’t enough – he has to live the moment, know what goes on in the changing rooms! He needs to feel part of something.”
“Are you trying to convince him?”
“Me? Nah, he’ll convince himself. You’ll see,” he says, ruffling his hair. “Come on, Evan, I’ll take you home.”
“I’ll take him,” I say suddenly. “Just give me twenty minutes.”
Nick studies my expression.
“It’s no problem,” I add. “I don’t have anywhere to be.”
“Mmm.”
“I’m just going to go and have a shower. Bring him to the back gates, my car’s parked there.”
“Mmm.”
“Have you forgotten how to speak? Or can you only communicate in noises now?”
He lifts his hands.
“Oh wow, now gestures, too…”
Nick flashes me his middle finger before flinging an arm around Evan and leading him away.
Those two could almost be twins.
I shake my head, trying to get rid of that horrendous thought, as Ian comes over to me.
“You’re taking him home.”
I shrug.
“Chris’ son.”
“Fuck off,” I say through my teeth.
Ian sighs. “No more bullshit, okay? I like that café.”
“Me?”
He snorts derisively and lets me go. I head towards the showers, wash myself, and then quickly get dressed, both eager and nervous to go back there, to her house. Because after today, that match, these emotions…I just want to see her. And I don’t even want to ask myself why.