Chapter 50
Chris
“Ms. Morgan?”
I open my eyes and blink, trying to follow the voice.
“Welcome back to us,” it smiles at me – I think. I’m not sure. “Tell Martin,” it says, turning to someone next to them. “How do you feel?” it turns back to me.
“I’m not sure…”
“Do you know where you are?”
The unmistakable white nightgown tells me that I’m in hospital.
I nod, painfully.
“Do you remember what happened?”
“More or less… I think someone hit me around the head… is that right?”
“We believe you have a concussion to the brain. We’re going to keep you in overnight for observation. There are two police officers outside who’d like to ask you a few questions.”
“O-okay.”
“I’ll let your son in first. But only two minutes, okay? He’s in shock at the moment.”
The doctor leaves the room, followed by a nurse, and a few seconds later, Evan appears in the doorway. I hold my hand out to him, and he flies over to me, hugging me tight.
“Hey, watch it… Everything hurts right now.”
“God, Mum… you could’ve…”
“I’m fine.”
He slowly releases me and looks at me, his eyes wide and bloodshot.
“They’ve gone to look for Dad,” he says. “We’re in his hospital. He’s been called in for an emergency just now, but he’ll be back as soon as he can.”
I nod, my mood immediately dipping.
“But outside, there’s…”
“Me,” Ryan finishes for him, standing in the doorway. “I’m here for you.”
And just like he emptied me out completely, he fills me back up again in an instant.
“So, the café…?”
“I’m sorry, Chris,” Martin squeezes my hand. “The important thing is that you’re okay.”
I nod, sinking into all the pillows.
“I have to go, I’m still doing the rounds. Evan’s just outside, but he’s asleep across the chairs. I’ll be back later, okay? Don’t tire yourself out.”
“Thanks, Martin.”
He kisses my forehead and goes, leaving me alone in the room.
I cover my face with my hands and feel like I’m about to burst into tears: but crying definitely won’t help my throbbing migraine, and will only make everything hurt even more.
I take a few deep breaths and close my eyes, trying to control the tears, when a familiar voice makes me snap them open again. I didn’t realise how desperate I was to hear it.
“Can I come in?” Ryan asks shyly, standing in the doorway.
“I thought you’d gone home.”
“I didn’t want to leave Evan on his own. Nick’s with him now.”
“Thank you.”
“And I didn’t want to leave you here alone, either.”
Now it’s getting really difficult not to cry.
He approaches my bed slowly, his hands shoved into the pockets of his hoodie. He’s wearing his rugby kit. He realises that I’m looking and looks down himself, too, before speaking again.
“Nick tried to call me, but I was at a team meeting. So he ran over to the training centre then brought me straight here.”
He sits down next to the bed and rests his elbows on the mattress.
Then he lifts his hand and, trembling, he strokes my cheek.
“My God… Christine,” he says, his jaw clenched.
I know how pale I must be. Not a pretty picture.
“They could’ve really hurt you.”
“I’m okay,” I say, playing it down. “They only wanted the cash from the till, but apparently they changed their minds, seeing as they destroyed half the café for no reason. My café, Ryan. My whole life,” I say, covering my eyes again.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say.”
I slowly shake my head.
“It’ll all be okay.”
“I’m really in trouble,” I confess. “I didn’t insure everything. I couldn’t afford the comprehensive insurance, and I don’t know how…”
He gets up suddenly and sits on the bed, taking me into his arms. I lean my head against his chest and he breathes into my hair.
“Shh… It’ll all be fine, okay? It’ll be fine. I’m here, Christine.”
The tears start to tumble uncontrollably.
“Just let it all out – beat me up if that’s what’ll make you feel better. I can take it, you know.”
I smile despite myself.
“Fall to pieces if you have to. Just do it. With me. And I promise you that I’ll pick them all up and put you back together.”
He strokes my cheek tenderly with his enormous hands.
“I couldn’t bear it… If something had happened to you, if…” his voice betrays him. “If you’d…”
I lift my head and look him dead in the eyes. I cover his hand with my own and smile through my tears. “You’re really here,” I say, incredulously, dazed by what’s happened.
“Where the fuck was I supposed to go? God, Christine… You get it, right? You know what’s happening? You know that this,” he squeezes my hand, “This isn’t what I thought, what we thought?”
I nod, full of hope.
“It’s happening – and I didn’t want it to, but it’s happening. I can’t fight it, I can’t swim against the current. I’m not strong enough. My muscles are no fucking use. I can only let myself float away and…Fuck, I really want it to lead me away, if it means that it leads me to you.”
“I never had you down as a poet, Ryan O’Connor.”
“I’m not – that’s the amazing thing.”
He leans his forehead against mine and breathes slowly.
“You told me it was over – but you know what I think? Fuck that, Christine. Nothing’s over, because you and me still need a chance to begin.”