Chapter Seventeen
Ryder
It was almost five o’clock on Sunday evening. Ellie hadn’t canceled, so I expected her to be here any minute. Chrissy and Tabby seemed to be more excited than I was, not that I wasn’t, because I was.
A knock on the door had Chrissy running to open it.
“She’s here! She’s here!”
“Christine Abigail, don’t you dare.”
She knew the rules. Children didn’t open the door without a grownup.
“Daaaadddy. Hurry,” Chrissy whined, jumping up and down by the door.
I made my way to the door and opened it.
Ellie stood on the other side in a green dress that looked like she wrapped it around her and tied it closed. Her hair was down in waves around her shoulders, and she had gold strappy heels on her feet.
“Hi, Ellie!” Chrissy screeched.
“Hello, sweet girl.”
“Come on in,” I said, sweeping my arm toward my apartment as Ellie stepped in.
As she walked past me, my arm swung back, catching her around her waist, and I leaned in to whisper in her ear.
“I remember everything.”
Her breath hitched, and I bit her earlobe, then sucked it between my lips. Releasing her quickly, I stepped back, grinning at the shocked look on her face.
“Dinner’s almost ready,” I said, closing the door.
I slid my hand across her ass as I brushed past her into the kitchen. The gasp I heard made my dick twitch in my jeans. By the end of the evening, I planned on pulling every gasp, whimper, and moan from her.
“Wh-what did you make?”
“Cornish game hens, steamed asparagus, and butternut squash risotto,” I answered, loving the tremor in her voice. “And fresh bread.”
“You made bread?”
I shrugged.
“I am crazy impressed.”
“Daddy makes really yummy food,” Chrissy added.
“What about dessert?” Ellie asked.
“My mom made us a cake.”
Tabby nodded along with her sister.
We ate dinner, and Chrissy talked our ears off. I let her have this, because once the girls were in bed for the night, I would have Ellie all to myself.
I cut three slices of the cake my mom made and brought them to the table.
I set a plate in front of Ellie and each of the girls.
“Aren’t you having any?” Ellie asked.
“I’ll have dessert after the girls are in bed,” I said with a wink.
Her eyes widened, and her lips parted in a silent gasp.
God, she was beautiful.
“Eat up, girls, then it’s bath time and one story before bed.”
Tabby held up two little fingers.
I wrapped my hand around hers and negotiated, “One story read by me, and one read by Ellie.”
“Yes!” Chrissy hollered, and Tabby nodded enthusiastically.
The girls dug into their dessert without hesitation. Once they finished with their chocolate cake with chocolate frosting, I got them into the bath. Ellie gathered their pajamas and a couple of books for when the bath was over.
We worked together like a family. Like a husband and wife should. It was nice, but I had to remind myself it wasn’t where I wanted to go. I wondered if inviting her to dinner with the girls was the right move.
I wrapped Chrissy in a towel, and she ran to her room. She could dress herself, but I knew Ellie would help her. I lifted Tabby from the tub, wrapping her in a towel, and carried her into the room she shared with her sister.
Entering the room, I found Ellie and Chrissy sitting on the bed. Ellie was brushing Chrissy’s hair. I dried Tabby off and got her into her pajamas. When I was done, she scrambled up on the bed and patiently waited for Ellie to brush her hair next.
I leaned against the doorway and watched the three of them. Ellie sat sandwiched between my girls as she read them a bedtime story. Something Tammi had never done.
Chrissy’s eyes began to drift close, and her head lolled to the side. I looked at Tabby and saw she was already asleep. I walked over and lifted her from Chrissy’s bed, laying her down on her own.
Pulling the covers up over her, I kissed her head and stepped over to Chrissy.
“Sweet dreams, princess.”
“Goodnight, Daddy; goodnight, Ellie,” Chrissy said with a yawn.
Leading Ellie to the hallway, I closed their bedroom door.
“Thank you,” I said, my eyes on Ellie.
“For what?”
I closed my eyes and wondered briefly if I should tell her the truth.
“Tammi never put them to bed. She never helped with bath time or getting them dressed. Come to think about it, she did nothing beyond their basic needs.”
I walked past her, needing to get away for just a moment. Why was I shocked when Tammi left? How could I not see that she wasn’t a mother?
I stepped up to the fridge, reaching into the cabinet above it, and pulled out a bottle of whiskey. Holding it up to Ellie, I silently asked if she wanted some. She shook her head no, and I poured myself a shot.
I knocked back my drink and stared at the ceiling.
“I should go,” Ellie whispered.
“No.” I moved around the island to stand in front of her. “No, I want you to stay.”
Lifting my hand to her cheek, she leaned into it.
“I wanted to apologize again. The other morning at the diner, you bit your lip.”
I rubbed my thumb across her bottom lip, my eyes fixed on it as my thumb moved from one side to the other.
“Something flashed from that night at the bar. You bit your lip when I pulled you onto the dance floor.”
Moving closer, my hand slid to her neck.
“When Jesse called, I got angry. I wanted to know how you could move on so fast. Why did you look so hurt in the hospital when you told me what I did, if you had someone else? That anger triggered something, and I remembered everything.”
I pulled her against me so she could feel my cock against her belly. I wanted her to know how hard she made me.
“I remembered every sound you made with my face buried in your pussy. The way you smelled. The way you came on my tongue.”
Ellie groaned and leaned into me.
“I remembered the way it felt when I slid my dick into your tight pussy. How wet you were. Are you wet now, Ellie?” I whispered, just before I kissed the spot on her neck below her ear.
She gasped, and her lips parted.
Seizing the moment, I captured her lips and thrust my tongue in deep. Taking her mouth as if it were the last time I would ever taste her, I wanted her to remember the feel of my lips, the swipe of my tongue. To remember the taste of whiskey on my breath.
My hands held her neck as I relentlessly pursued her mouth, claiming everything, just like that first night.
She didn’t hesitate. She didn’t protest at the way I consumed her. She submitted herself to my desires.
I didn’t want her submission. I wanted her fire. I wanted her reaction, her response to my body against hers. I wanted her to come undone, to lose the grace and poise she showed everyone else.
Methodically, I moved my hands, reaching down, skating over her ass to the back of her thighs, and lifting her up, her legs wrapping around my waist, her arms around my neck.
Setting her on the island, I stepped between her legs as my hands brushed the dress up and away from her body. My thumbs teased against her panties as I played with the elastic that nestled in the fold between her thigh and her hip.
Sliding beneath, I felt the bare skin of her shaved lips. She whimpered as I released her mouth, nipping my way down her jaw, down her neck, then to her collarbone. Abandoning her pussy, my hands moved up her waist to her tits.
She protested now.
I knew it wasn’t for what I was doing, but what I had stopped doing.
“Oh, my beautiful girl, I won’t neglect that pussy. Just need a bit more of the rest of you first.”
Her hands left my shoulders, and she leaned back against the countertop. Displaying her body for my gaze as I reached out to untangle the tie at her waist.
Unwrapping the dress, I opened it to reveal her body. My eyes roamed over her lace covered tits and matching panties. My teeth sunk into my bottom lip as I hissed out a groan.
Gathering her in my arms, I bit down on her covered nipple. I wanted her to cry out in pain so I could soothe it. Needed her to know that I would alleviate all her suffering, even more so if it were caused by me.
I knew I caused her pain.
I knew the way I slapped her ass and said thanks before leaving her at the bar was a dick move. I knew I needed to broach the subject of a possible pregnancy from not using a condom. But none of that was important right now. Right now, all I cared about was her pleasure.
“Ryder,” she whispered.
“What, baby?” I looked up at her. “What do you need?”
“I need you,” she panted. “I need to come, Ryder. Don’t make me wait.”
I loved hearing her say my name, begging for me.
“Tell me what you want. How do you want me to make you come?”
This was for her. My need was irrelevant.
“I want to come on your tongue. I want your mouth on my pussy, Ryder. I want to scream your name.”
“Can’t scream, baby, you’ll wake the girls. But the rest I will happily give you.”
I heard her chuckle.
I laid her back on the island as my hands moved to her waist, grabbing her panties, then sliding them down her legs. Stuffing them in my pocket, I wasn’t fucking her tonight, but I would fuck her panties later. I would use them to get off after she left, thinking about her driving home without them.
Spreading her knees wide, I buried my nose between her legs, seeking the scent I remembered from the first night at the bar.
Strawberries.
It was my favorite fruit.
My favorite smell.
My favorite taste, until now.
She replaced those favorites. I would never eat strawberries again without thinking of her.
“Ryder, please,” she whined.
“Patience, beautiful. I wanna take my time. Need you to remember who made you come when you get home. I want you thinking only of me,” I declared and slid my tongue up her center. Sucking on her clit, I pulled it between my lips, flicking it with the tip of my tongue, then I lightly bit down, and she gasped.
I wanted her moans, her pleas for release. I wanted her to scream my name.
Taking my time eating my fill, I savored her. I didn’t lie when I told her at dinner that I would have my dessert later. She was my dessert. All I wanted, what I had been obsessed with since my memory returned, was the taste of her.
Her hips bucked, and I held her tight, keeping her in place. Her heels dug into my back between my shoulder blades. I could feel her getting close. Taste her release trickling into my open mouth.
“Come on, baby. Come for me. Let me have what I’ve been waiting all day for.”
I dove in again, my tongue finding her entrance, and I swirled it around. I added a finger, focusing on her clit once more. Slowly, I moved in and out of her cunt, adding a second finger to increase the pressure. I could hear her breaths coming fast and shallow. She was climbing. She was so close to that peak I wanted to send her over. Curling my fingers, I massaged that sweet spot inside her moist pussy and bit down on her clit.
She opened her mouth and shoved her fist between her teeth to quiet the scream.
It didn’t work.
When her orgasm hit, her voice pitched. That was what I wanted, that loss of control. I continued pumping my fingers in and out of her pussy, slamming my other my hand over her mouth, trying to keep the noise from escaping.
That didn’t work either.
I silently prayed the girls stayed asleep.
I watched in awe as her eyes rolled back, and her spasms began to subside. Still, I never stopped pumping. I wanted to give her more. I wanted to keep her satiated. I wanted her passed out in my bed.
But we weren’t in my bed. We were in my kitchen.
I removed my fingers with a groan of my own and sucked them into my mouth, licking them clean.
“Fuck, you’re beautiful,” I said, looking over her body.
I ran my hands up and down her legs.
I had to touch her. I couldn’t stop.
She peered up at me briefly before her eyes slid closed.
“I can’t move,” she whispered, then chuckled. “Throw a blanket over me. I’m sleeping right here on this counter tonight.”
I pulled her up to sit.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. You’ll be stiff tomorrow.”
“I don’t care.”
“Come on.” I helped her down, then wrapped her dress and tied the strings that held it closed.
My hands held her face. My eyes locked on hers.
“I’m sorry for that first night. I’m sorry for the way I left, and I’m sorry I didn’t remember.”
Lightly, I pressed my lips to hers as her hands went to my hips, and she pulled me close, deepening the kiss.
“Tasting me on your lips is so hot,” she whispered against me.
“Do you want to watch a movie?” I asked, and she pulled back.
“Are we done?”
“For now, yes.”
“What about you? You didn’t come.”
“Fuck, your dirty mouth is such a shock.”
She smiled sweetly, and my cock took notice.
“How about I return the favor?” she offered, her hand rubbing over my hard cock as she squeezed. “Let me suck your cock.”
“Fuck,” I groaned. “As much as I would love that, tonight was for you. Not me.” I leaned over, whispering in her ear, “I have your panties in my pocket for later.”
She gasped and squeezed harder. I almost came in my jeans.
“I guess I should go then,” she said sweetly. “Walk me out?”
“Of course I will.” I followed her down the stairs to her truck.
I opened the door for her, but before she climbed in, I gathered her in my arms one more time. Taking her mouth with mine, I let her feel everything I was too afraid to say. The truth was, tonight had been for both of us. I wanted to make up for all the ways I had been an ass. Not just at the bar, but at the hospital and the store after I came home.
I wanted Ellie. There was no denying that.
I wanted her body, but I wanted her, too.
My girls loved her.
My parents loved her.
Even my friends loved her.
I wanted to love her.
I could easily love her.
What I didn’t know was if I could trust her. I trusted a woman once before and she left me and my girls. I didn’t know if I could handle the heartbreak again. It would suck, but I was an adult. I would find a way to deal with it. But my girls, though. They were too little. They wouldn’t understand another mother leaving them. That was a risk I couldn’t take.
I made a choice. A choice I hadn’t planned to make.
I couldn’t chance their little hearts for my selfish desires.
So, I kissed Ellie with all the passion we could have. With all the love we could share and with all the heartache of letting her go.