Chapter 10
Claire
Today has been the best day of my life, hands down. Even if I never see Ryder again, I will cherish this day forever. He’s everything I ever could have imagined from a man. I don’t even care that he’s so much older than me. I kind of like it.
His age has grown on me throughout the day. I should probably stop calling him old , but I like how it makes him smirk. In fact, nearly every time I taunt him, he kisses me, so why would I stop?
Helping him pick out a room on the second floor was nerve-wracking. I tried to make light of it. After all, it’s ludicrous to think I would ever live in this house with Ryder. But a small part of me enjoyed pretending we were lovers with unlimited means who could pick out a room and make plans to remodel it.
In the end, I chose a suite that took my breath away the moment I entered. It’s girly, which is normally unlike me. I don’t usually do pink. But something about it made me want to make myself at home.
It has one of the more modern ensuite bathrooms and a separate sitting area that’s attached but feels slightly detached.
The bed is high off the floor, and the mattress didn’t feel too ancient when I pressed on it. The curtains, bedding, and several other accent items are all soft pink.
“This is the one,” Ryder declared after I wandered around in it for several minutes.
I jerked my gaze to him. “Why do you say that?”
He grinned. “I can tell you’re in love with it. I’m betting you’d also like to leave it how it is and not have it gutted.”
I’m still shocked that he read me so well.
Now, Ryder is walking me out to my car. Dinner was amazing. Gretchen is a fantastic cook. The thought of living in a mansion with people serving me doesn’t sit well, but the thought of moving into this estate is too ridiculous to ponder. I don’t know why I keep getting swept into the fairytale.
Ryder leans me against my car and holds my hips. “I hate that you have to leave.”
I smile. “Surely you’re tired of me.”
He sets his forehead against mine. “Claire…” His voice is soft and serious.
“Ryder…” I say, imitating his tone. Or mocking it.
“I’m glad you don’t want to remodel the room you picked,” he says out of the blue.
“Why’s that?” I’m sure his answer will make me end up with at least two more naughty marks in the imaginary swear jar.
“Because that means I can start browbeating you into moving in with me. I don’t have to wait for a plumber, painter, sander, or furniture to arrive from out of town.” He grins triumphantly.
I laugh because it’s impossible not to. He never ceases to surprise me. “You’re going to wake up tomorrow and think, Claire who ?”
“I am not,” He slides his hands down until he’s gripping my ass against the car. “I meant every word I’ve said to you, Claire. You’re mine. Don’t you dare wake up tomorrow and doubt me. FaceTime me when you get in bed so I can see your room and tell you goodnight.”
I scrunch my face. “I’m not going to show you my childhood room.”
“Baby, you so totally are. I can’t wait to see it. Is it pink?”
I laugh. “It’s most definitely not pink. It’s never been pink. I don’t have a single idea why I fell in love with the pink room upstairs. You’re not really going to move into it, are you?”
He cocks his head. “Of course I am. I never even unpacked my suitcase last night. I’m going to move everything into that room and put it all in the drawers. I’ll leave you the lower ones since you’re short.”
I giggle. Sheesh. He’s relentless.
“I’m also going to claim the room next to it and figure out where the studs are so we can eventually add a connecting door.”
I narrow my gaze at him. “Are you so old that you think couples should sleep in separate rooms?” I’m kidding. I know he doesn’t think that. The man can’t keep his hands off me. No way would he want to sleep in different rooms.
He grins. “Nope. We’ll need it for a nursery.”
I gasp. Holy smokes, he’s relentless. It’s crazy enough for him to act like we’re an item, but moving in? Babies? He’s lost his marbles.
He kisses me and speaks against my lips. “I’m going to visit your bakery in the morning.”
My breath hitches. “You don’t need to do that.”
He narrows his eyes. “I’ll be there first thing because, after that, I have to unload my moving truck so the company can come pick it up. They’re sending someone in the afternoon.”
“Then you should do that instead of coming into the bakery,” I encourage.
He grips my butt cheeks and squeezes. “You’re mine, Claire. It will be much easier for you to accept and acknowledge that if everyone in town knows it, starting with your parents. I won’t pretend I’m not going to claim you. Not even for a minute. So, tell them whatever you need to tonight because tomorrow, when I come to visit, I will kiss you possessively in front of everyone.”
I gasp. “Ryder, you can’t do that.”
“Oh, baby, yes, I can. Are you worried about telling your parents about me?”
I inhale slowly. “A little, yes.”
“Because of my age?”
I shrug. “Partly, but mostly because I’ve never been in any relationship that warranted me telling them. They’re going to be skeptical.”
“That’s okay. It’s understandable. I’ll win them over.”
I stare at him. He’s serious. Still, it’s hard to believe he means everything he says. It’s like I’ve fallen through a crack in the universe and found myself in another dimension. I refuse to believe it can be real. I’m going to wake up tomorrow and find out this was all a dream.
Ryder kisses a path to my ear, nibbles on my neck, and whispers, “You’re mine, Claire.”
He’s so possessive. I should probably be offended at the way he claims me like a caveman, but I’m not. I tingle all over when he says that. I feel like I’m floating above the ground. Nothing is real.
He kisses down my neck, dipping into my cleavage. When he reaches the swoop of my tank top that barely covers my bra, he licks along the edge of lace.
I grab his biceps, tip my head back, and moan. I’m giving him better access. His mouth feels so good. He’s making me feel things no man has ever made me feel in my life. He’s kept me in this state of low-level arousal all day—except for the times he used his skilled mouth to push me into a far higher level of arousal.
I want him to touch my breasts. I want him to reach his tongue farther under my bra and flick my nipples.
He’s good at this. Maybe it’s his age. Maybe I should be jealous of all the women who came before me. But I think I’ll thank them instead because I’m going to reap the benefits of everything he learned from his prior sexual partners.
Lord, I want to take this further. It’s a good thing we’re by my car already. If we were inside, I’d probably beg him to take me to bed just like he insists I’ll eventually do. To hell with my virginity. I wasn’t saving it for any particular reason. I just haven’t met anyone worthy of considering having sex with.
When I went on dates in high school, I was not ready to have sex. The only person I’ve dated since high school was Smith, and no way in hell would I have let him take my clothes off. I shudder at the thought. The few times he tried to grope me made me vomit a little in my mouth. I’m not sure why I continued to go out with him as long as I did.
Ryder suddenly reaches farther and flicks my nipple with his tongue.
I gasp and rise onto my toes. His mouth… Damn. I dig my fingers into his biceps. Good thing I don’t have long nails. I’m panting when he lifts his head.
And Ryder is smirking. Of course, he is.
“You’re so smug.”
“You’re mine.”
It’s hard for me to get in the car and drive away. Harder than I expected. I feel an odd sense of loss that I don’t understand. How could I possibly feel empty after spending one day with a man I just met?
I’m distracted as I drive back to town. It takes about fifteen minutes. The town isn’t large, and the mansion is only a few miles out. I live with my parents above the bakery, so I pull up behind the strip mall and park in the back.
I’m grinning as I turn off my car, trying to ignore the check-oil light. I think I’ve got a leak. I need to get it in for a service, but I’ve been dragging my feet because that will mean an encounter with Smith since he works at the garage, which his father owns.
With a sigh, I step out of my car, shut the door, and turn toward the back stairs that lead up to my family’s apartment.
And freeze.
Smith is leaning against the wall next to the door. His arms are folded over his chest, and his legs are crossed at the ankles. His stance is casual. His expression is not. “Where’ve you been, Claire?”
I’ve had the best day of my life, and I’m tired. I do not want to get into a conversation of any sort with Smith. He’s already ruining my mood.
“What do you want, Smith?” I ask, not answering his question.
He shoves off the side of the building, standing taller with his hands on his hips. Every inch of him is confrontational, and I can imagine why.
“It’s all over town, Claire. You went to see those Wilde assholes. Please tell me you had car trouble or something on the way back and got delayed for hours. I don’t want to hear that you’ve been up at that mansion cavorting with those money-grabbing city boys.”
Shit . “Get over yourself, Smith. It’s none of your business who I spend time with.”
“The hell it isn’t. You’re my girl, Claire. I know you’re slow to accept that, and Lord knows I’ve given you space, but it’s about time you stop hiding from us and stand by my side as my girl.”
I gasp. Is he serious? He’s delusional. “Smith, I am not your anything . I never have been. I don’t know where you got that idea from. We dated for a while. We broke up. It’s been two years. I’ve never given you any indication we are anything to each other. I’m sorry if you believed that. Move on. Find a woman you have more in common with.”
He chuckles, the sound grating on my nerves. It’s not a good chuckle. It makes my skin crawl. “Claire, honey…”
I shake my head. “Don’t call me that. I’m not your honey, Smith.”
Before I can stop him, he steps forward and grabs my shoulders. His lips are on mine less than a second later, and he’s kissing me. It’s gross, and I try to break out of his clutches, but he’s too strong and bigger than me.
I purse my lips together to avoid returning his kiss, but he holds me tighter, his fingers digging into my biceps so hard it hurts. Fear crawls up my spine. Real fear for the first time in my life. He could drag me off and rape me if he wanted.
Think, Claire .
It’s hard with his nasty tongue rasping across the seam of my lips. Finally, I lift my knee and jerk it up between his legs as hard as I can.
It works. Smith releases me with a gasp, staggering backward until his back hits the wall. He buckles over, grabs his junk, and groans. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” he growls.
If I could get past him, open the door, and hurry into the stairwell, I would, but he’s blocking me. I’d never make it even if I tried. I’m certain I didn’t do nearly enough damage to his crotch. I’m not strong enough. He’s already righting himself.
He tips his head back and glares at me, threatening me with a look that makes me shudder and take a step back. Fuck . I’d happily add ten fucks to Ryder’s swear jar and accept my spanking if it got me out of this mess.
“What did you do, Claire? Did you go up to that mansion and fuck one of them?” he grits out. “Did you? Did you whore yourself for a chance at a better life?”
“Fuck you, Smith. Get out of here. We are not an item.”
“The hell we’re not. The entire town knows you’re mine. They’re all just waiting for you to admit it and marry me.”
“Marry you?” My voice squeaks. “That’s never going to happen, Smith. We’re not compatible.” After today, I realize we’ve never been compatible in about a million ways.
Before I met Ryder, I had nothing to compare Smith to. I certainly couldn’t compare him to the two guys I kissed in high school. I knew there were no sparks, but a part of me wondered if that was just life. Not that I was willing to settle. I’ve never once considered settling for the likes of Smith. Gross. But I did question how in love most couples I know are.
The one steady example I have in my life that reminds me daily not to go out with anyone who doesn’t make my heart race is my parents. They adore each other. My father treats my mother like spun gold. He would never disrespect her the way Smith just disrespected me—not in a million years.
So, no. I wouldn’t have settled for Smith even if I’d never met Ryder, but now that I’ve felt the kind of spark I’ve dreamed of and read in books, I’ll never let myself fall into a Smith trap again.
I may be delusional, thinking I could ever have anything real with Ryder, but I’ll take what I learned today and strengthen my resolve to wait for a man who worships me. If I die an old maid, so be it.
“Don’t be ridiculous, Claire. We’re destined for each other. It’s not like you have dozens of men lined up to date you.”
It suddenly occurs to me that the reason no one has asked me out in ages is because Smith has told everyone I’m unavailable. Not that there are hordes of men in my age range looking for a girlfriend or wife, but there are some. None have approached me. Fuck him. Fuck all of them. I know every man under the age of thirty-five in this town. None of them make my blood pump.
Except, now, I know a man who is forty, and he definitely makes my blood pump faster. He’s in a league far above any man in this town. I don’t even care that he’s forty.
“Go home, Smith,” I order, standing as tall as my five-four height allows. I won’t be intimidated by Smith—at least not outwardly. I need to get inside. I’m going to do so right now. I can collapse after I get on the other side of this door. Until then, I need to keep my wits, avoid letting my hands shake, and prevent him from seeing my fear.
I stomp right up to the door, inches from where Smith leans against the wall, and put my key in the lock. Damn, I’m glad I manage to do so without dropping the keys.
Smith grabs my arm before I can open the door. “We’re not done here, Claire.”
“Yes, we are.” I wince. He’s gripping my bicep too firmly again. “Let go of me.”
“Don’t be like this, Claire. You and I…we’re good together.”
I spin to face him. “We are not , Smith. We never were. There’s nothing between us. Why would you want to spend your life with a woman you don’t love and have no particular interest in?”
He glances down at my chest and smirks—a mean, ugly smirk that makes me want to punch him. “I have interest, honey. Lots of it. And I’ve put up with your prudish behavior for far longer than most men would tolerate. If you’d stop squeezing your legs together, I’ll show you exactly how much interest I have.”
I cringe. How disgusting and crude can he be? I’ve been blind to this side of Smith. I knew he was a bit of a cocky dick, but I didn’t know he could be violent and insulting. Does he seriously think that letting him fuck me would turn me on?
“Let go of me,” I grit out.
He squeezes harder, making me wince. Tears come to my eyes. “Not until you admit you’re mine.”
I cringe at those words. They were the last words Ryder spoke to me before I left the mansion. Coming from him, they sounded sweet and endearing. When Ryder says I’m his, he does so with devotion. Maybe I should have told him to fuck off for being so possessive, but I like his brand of possessive.
Ryder may not remember me tomorrow. I’m not at all convinced he truly intends to have a life with me. How could he possibly know after one day? But his words and actions toward me today were sincere in the moment. He felt things for me. He also didn’t try to get in my pants. In fact, he insisted he would not take me to his bed. Not until I beg. That thought alone makes my face heat.
I won’t let Smith ruin the words Ryder spoke to me. I seethe at him. “I’m not yours, Smith. I’ll never be yours. Are you listening to me? Let go of me before I scream so loudly that I alert everyone in the vicinity.”
Still gripping my arm, he lifts his other hand to grab my chin, forcing me to face him. “Your feisty defiance is only making my dick harder, Claire. You want to play hard to get? Let’s play. Do you have fantasies of being chased through the woods and taken against your will? I can make that happen.”
I stop breathing. Would he do that? He certainly could. “Don’t you dare come near me again, Smith. I’m done talking to you. Don’t come into my parents’ bakery. Don’t even walk past it. If I see you again, I’ll tell the entire town you tried to rape me.”
He chuckles, making my skin crawl. “No one would believe you, honey. They all think we’re an item. Most people probably believe we’ve been fucking for years. How can it be rape when a man provides his girl with a fantasy she’s been dreaming about?”
I yank my chin out of his grip. My jaw hurts. I give him a hard shove before somehow unlocking the door, pulling it open, and rushing into the stairwell.
He doesn’t stop me even though he easily could. Instead, he laughs. “See you soon, honey,” he calls out as I pull the door closed, giving it a hard yank to make sure it’s fully shut. It locks automatically, but the damn thing sometimes sticks, and then the lock doesn’t engage.