Chapter 14
Come Again
BILLIE
BILLIE
Are u ok?
I debated for the whole ride to the field party whether or not I should send Ryder a text. We’re just friends. And friends don’t check in with each other on Fridays at midnight.
Then again, friends don’t stare you down with daggers in their eyes while you dance with other guys.
Ryder stared. All night. At one point, Mollie even went over to talk to him about it, but he just told her he was “looking out for me.”
I’m not sure what to think. All I know is, I’m not buying it.
RYDER Rivers
…
I’m fine. Are you okay? I saw you leaving with that sleazebag
BILLIE
And I saw you staring at us the whole time, looking like you wanted to commit a crime. What’s your deal?
RYDER Rivers
Just looking out for you is all
BILLIE
I know that’s just a line you gave Mollie. I can look out for myself, thank you very much
Another pause, three dots appearing, disappearing. Appearing again.
RYDER Rivers
Think what you want. It’s not a crime to want you to get home safe
My pulse skips several beats. I’m angry. I’m confused.
Ryder’s being kind of an ass tonight. That should turn me off, right? Jealousy’s not a good look on anyone. But if I’m being honest…
It’s hot. In a really fucked up way. Then again, this whole thing—me falling even harder for a guy who turned me down, and who’s also known for one-night stands and one-night stands only—is pretty fucked up. So, yeah. Not really sure what to do with that.
I’m not really sure what to do with myself right now.
RYDER Rivers
Where are you
I don’t know why he’s asking that question, but I do know it makes my stomach do somersaults.
BILLIE
That feels like a dangerous question. Go to bed, buddy
RYDER Rivers
I’m not your buddy
BILLIE
What are you then
RYDER Rivers
Just tell me you’re okay and that you’re not gonna let that dipshit get in your pants?
BILLIE
As my *friend*, it’s none of your business who gets into my pants.
RYDER Rivers
Where are you
BILLIE
GO TO BED
RYDER Rivers
Not until I know you’re safe at home. ALONE. Also you’re the one who texted me. Don’t pretend you don’t enjoy stirring the pot
Ugh, he’s right.
He’s right because he knows me in a way that Xander never will.
Ryder cares. Why, then, did he turn me down? I’m not sure that I buy the idea that someone would turn you down because he cares too much. In my experience, people don’t have that level of self-control.
Or maybe that’s just me.
BILLIE
No comment.
RYDER Rivers
Ha. But really, you shouldn’t rub shit in my face like you did tonight
BILLIE
You have to be kidding. You know what? Screw this. Screw you. Maybe I did rub it in your face. You did turn me down, and yeah, maybe I need someone to help lick my wounds. He makes me feel better, even if just for tonight
My heart is pounding when I hit send. I wait, barely breathing, for Ryder to respond. But he doesn’t.
“Hey, sweetheart. Whatcha doin’ over here all by your lonesome?”
Glancing up from my phone, I see Xander holding out a Solo cup. He’s wearing his signature smirk, the one that he uses when he wants to get laid.
Then again, Xander wants to get laid all the time, so I’m not sure why he feels the need to add a smirk to the mix. Feels a little overkill.
Whatever. You need relief, and he’s offering it to you. Beggars can’t be choosers in a small town like Hartsville.
This field party is Exhibit A. There’s maybe twenty people here, all of them hanging out around a huge bonfire.
I’ve known all of them for most of my life, with the notable exception of Xander and the handful of friends he brought with him.
They competed in a rodeo outside of Austin last night, so they decided to make a pit stop here in Hartsville.
They’re staying in the bunkhouse at a ranch down the road from here.
I thought for sure Xander would want to head to my place after the Rattler. But his friends insisted we come to this field party, and I was a little surprised when Xander agreed.
“Don’t worry,” he’d said in my ear. “We’ll sneak out right after we get there.”
Only that hasn’t happened, which is why I ended up texting Ryder. Xander’s been too busy shooting the shit with everyone to pay much mind to me.
I almost wish I’d taken up the girls on their offer to come with me. But I could tell Mollie and Wheeler were beat, and Sally and Ava were just as horny as I was—am—so they went home to their cowboys.
I paste on a smile as I take the Solo cup. “I’m just waitin’ on you to make good on your promise.”
“Aw, sweetheart, I ain’t good at keepin’ promises.” His eyes meet mine over the rim of his cup as he sips. “But for you, I’ll try.”
He’s so full of shit it’s almost painful. Really, what did I ever see in this guy? I don’t remember him giving me the ick when we first hung out.
Now that I’ve been hanging out with Ryder, however…Xander isn’t nearly as attractive as I thought he was.
I try to choke down the lukewarm pilsner in the hope it will give me a much-needed pair of beer goggles.
If I go one more day without getting laid, I may have a legit nervous breakdown.
A vibrator can only get you so far when you’ve been sharing romantic tractor rides and bonfires with handsome cowboys.
“Who are your friends again?” I ask.
Xander shrugs. “Wouldn’t call ’em friends. Just some guys I met on the circuit, really. I’d keep your distance if I were you. They don’t exactly keep their noses clean, if you know what I’m sayin’.” Xander runs his finger down the side of my neck.
I wait for the familiar shiver of anticipation to dart down my spine.
It doesn’t. Instead, it takes everything in me not to recoil.
Yup, my vibrator will have to do yet again tonight. I’m not staying here another minute. But I know Xander will do everything in his power to convince me to stay, so I think it’s best if I pull a Houdini and sneak out.
“Hey, Xander I…gotta. You know.” I tilt my head toward the stand of juniper trees to our left. “I’ll be right back?”
“You need some help takin’ off that skirt? Looks fuckin’ sexy on you, but I think you’d look even better without it.”
Great. Now I’m going to vomit in my mouth.
“Thanks, but I got it.”
Before Xander can reply, I turn on my heel and make a beeline for the trees, praying I don’t encounter any snakes or foxes.
Glancing at my phone, I see that it’s almost half past twelve. Not late by normal standards, but when you live on a ranch, that’s practically morning.
I didn’t think I’d need an escape plan tonight. But I also didn’t think I’d be turned off by a guy who, up until very recently, turned me on in a big way.
I race through my options. Anyone I call at this hour will be dead asleep.
Mom offered to pick me up, but I don’t want her judgment when she sees me at this dumbass party with all these dumbass people.
I need her to trust me to make good decisions, and she sure as hell isn’t going to trust her daughter who chased an idiot bull rider to a field in the middle of nowhere at midnight.
I could call one of my brothers. Tate is the night owl of the family, but even for him this is late. Beck, Nash, and Mack would come, but they’d be pissed about it. I’d also owe them big time.
Colt—
Well, he’s got a kid. He’d also put two and two together and somehow find out that Ryder was at the Rattler too, and that he was giving me looks to kill. The less Colt knows about what’s gone down between me and his best friend, the better.
I don’t want to bother any of the girls again. They’ve already done so much for me.
Guess I go for my least worst option.
Sighing, I start to type out a text to Tate when headlights slice through the trees.
My heart plunges at the throaty throb of a diesel engine.
Looking up, I see Ryder’s vintage Dodge Ram pickup stop just outside the circle of light put off by the bonfire.
I blink. Blink again, wondering if Xander laced this beer. Am I seeing things now?
But then Ryder’s getting out of the truck and slamming the door.
I can tell it’s him by the backward baseball hat he’s wearing, the same one he had on at the Rattler.
A couple people look up. Xander, I notice, immediately ducks his head and disappears into the shadows.
He was good at ignoring Ryder at the Rattler, telling me to ignore him too.
But now all of a sudden, Xander is running scared.
What a spineless douche.
Part of me thinks I should run too. Ryder and Duke would occasionally show up to field parties in their early twenties, but once they got serious about cowboying, they stopped coming.
Now that they’re partners in the highly lucrative Lucky River Ranch, they wouldn’t be caught dead here.
Their lives are much, much cooler than mine.
Makes me think Ryder came for one reason and one reason only.
Me.
He glances around, a muscle in his jaw twitching.
Anger and disbelief and arousal unfurl inside me, elbowing for space. I hurtle his way, nearly falling on my face after tripping on a root.
That’s when he sees me. Our eyes meet, and everything inside me heaves.
Holy God, he’s really here.
How’d he find me? Why come all this way?
Even in the dark, he looks good. The backward baseball hat, a barn jacket, broad shoulders. Jeans and boots and eyes that pierce the inky blackness around us like two bright blue beacons.
A throb ignites between my legs. It’s the kind of deep, deep desire that immediately catches fire and consumes my entire body in the space of a single heartbeat.
I’m burning up, and it’s all for him. The man who wants to be just friends.
I’m moving toward him before I know what I’m doing. I’m shaking and sweating despite the cool night air.
Did he somehow get bigger since I saw him last? Because he towers over me when we come to a stop barely a foot from each other.
Without a word he grabs my cup, tosses its contents onto the ground, and drops it into the nearby trash bag that hangs from a tree branch.