Chapter Twenty-Two
My eyes grow heavy as time goes on. I’ve had scattered power naps throughout the night, but nothing sustainable. The lack of sunlight and the sound of the water dripping from the shower onto the concrete is enough to make anyone go crazy. I’m sure that’s his plan, to slowly drive me insane, so I’ll crack and tell him everything.
I roll my head in circles, trying to relieve the ache in my stiff muscles. I take three deep breaths as I clear my mind, allowing myself to drift out of my consciousness, almost into a dream state. I learned how to meditate when I was trapped with Manzo.
It’s the only thing that kept me grounded for a while, where I found peace most of the time. Allowing myself to go to a place of quiet and nothingness allows me to reenter a situation with a new mind. If I allow myself to get consumed by what has happened or what will happen in the future, I can’t process anything, and I’m overwhelmed with the feeling of dread and defeat. How is a warrior supposed to fight mentally or physically if they already feel defeated?
I’m sitting here, eyes closed and focusing on my breathing, when a light shines through my closed lids. I don’t let my breathing falter as I hear the sound of clicking heels start down the steps. I blink, allowing my eyes to adjust to the lighting change.
I lift my chin as Vivian comes into view. I first notice her long brown hair. I can tell she is shorter than me, and the booties add only a couple of inches. She is wearing a tan oversized sweater that falls off one shoulder and jeans with rips in the knees.
I lift my chin a bit more when she stops in front of my chair, holding a plate of food. “Good morning.” She says as she sits on the edge of the chair across from me. “I heard you haven’t eaten anything in a few days.” She holds out the plate for me to take, but I just raise an eyebrow and then look at my hands. “Right…” She pulls her hand back and starts to unwrap the cling wrap covering the food.
“Why are you here, Vivian?” “To give you food.”
“No. Why are you here? Lincoln is the one that brings the food, so why would he send you?” I lift an eyebrow.
“Lincoln’s busy.”
I look up at the camera that’s in the corner of the room and smile. “Sure.” I nod slowly and turn back to face her.
She scoots forward an inch on the chair and holds out a ham sandwich. “Please eat.”
“Did you know the human body can go three weeks without food before the major effects start? Someone can last for about seventy days before they croak.” She pulls her hand back and sighs.
“Is not eating your way of keeping power or something?”
I smile even wider. “Something like that. See, I know Ryker won’t ever break me, no matter how hard he tries. And since I’m strapped to a chair and can’t get a hold of one of those handy guns over there.” I tilt my head towards the wall to my left. “I guess dying of starvation is the way to go.”
“Okay.” She shrugs and crosses her legs as she takes a bite of the sandwich. My stomach growls, and I clench my jaw .
She finishes the first half of the sandwich and starts to eat a few of the chips. “So…” She starts, talking with her mouthful. “I’m guessing you won’t tell me why you killed Leo?”
“Is that what you really want to ask me?” I lean back in the chair and roll my head from one side to the other. “I have a feeling you wanted to come down here to see me in my natural habitat.”
She slows her chew and then dusts her hands before setting the plate on the floor and putting her elbows on her knees. “You think you have me all figured out, don’t you.”
I laugh. “Oh absolutely.” She nods slowly and extends a hand for me to continue. “I’m sitting here trying to figure out Ryker’s game. Why on earth would he send you, out of everyone, to come and talk to me? He would have better luck getting anything out of me by sending Ace, and he’s the one who got me in this mess. Your brother didn’t send you down here… did he?” I cock my head to the side. “You asked to come. You wanted to try and prove yourself. You wanted to show the big bad wolf that little red is actually so much stronger than he thinks. You thought because you’re a woman, you could get me to talk. You thought I would bond with you, maybe even become buddies.” I lean forward as far as my restraints will let me. “We will never be buddies. You disgust me.” Silence fills the room. “Am I close?” I tilt my head in question. Her lack of response is all I need to know. I’m right on the mark.
She looks up at the camera in the corner and lets out a heavy breath. “I want to make a deal with you. I want to ask you a question, and in return, you give a truthful answer. No snarky remarks, no defensive answers.”
“And in return?”
She shrugs. “What do you want? ”
I chuckle. “I want a lot of things. I wouldn’t leave that up to me to decide.” I lean in and whisper in a mocking tone. “That’s probably not wise.”
She thinks for about a minute, adjusting herself in the seat before she comes up with something. “A question for a question.”
I lift my chin. “I doubt you know the answers to anything I want to know. I know more than you, Ryker, Lincoln, and Hawkins combined.”
“If I don’t know the answer, I will figure it out and get back to you. I think that’s fair.”
“You think I trust anything that comes out of your mouth?” I laugh. “Hell no.”
She sighs. “It’s the best I have.”
I take her in for a moment before I nod. “Fine. What do you want to know?”
“All I want to know is why you hate me so much. You said you would rather talk to the man who tracked you down. I haven’t done anything to you. I met you only twice, and they were both brief encounters.”
My jaw goes slack, and I furrow my brows before I regain control over my facial features. “Are…are you joking?” I give her a dumbfounded look as she shakes her head. I let out a sigh. “You are the reason all of this is happening.”
She gives me a puzzled look. “I don’t understand. I didn’t kidnap you.”
“You might as well have.” I laugh. “Do you not know what the boys were doing while you were holding me at the gym?”
She shakes her head no, and I feel anger starting to rise in the pit of my stomach .
“That day at the gym, I was supposed to leave early. I was going to go home to tell my…” I take a long pause and look at the ground. “I was going to leave. I knew after seeing the men at the bar that it would only be a matter of days before they tracked me down. I heard about Ryker and Lincoln’s tracking skills. But I didn’t get to leave the gym early because you were there. By the time I figured out where I knew you from, I knew…” I trail off again and look up at the camera. Tears start to form in my eyes, and I swallow, trying to get the burning to subside.
Her eyes widen, and she opens her mouth to speak but then shuts it again. I tell her everything. The moment I ran home to find Jeremy lying in a pool of his own blood. The way Manzo raped and beat me until I was near death, and I made sure to include the fact her brothers stood back and watched.
When I’m done telling her the story, her eyes are brimmed with tears, and she can’t meet my gaze. “And you blame me for that?” She croaks out, looking at her hands in her lap.
“No. I blame you for holding me at that fucking gym, and for stopping me from getting there on time. If I was there, I could have saved Jeremy's life by leaving. I was going to leave so that I could be followed, and Jeremy could start his life. He wanted to go to the police academy and do good things in this world, but because of you, he's dead!”
She shakes her head. “You can’t hold me accountable for their actions. Plus, that doesn’t make sense. I know my brothers. They would never stand by and watch something like that happen.”
I chuckle, “Then I guess you don’t know your brothers as well as you think.” I shiver as bile rushes up my throat as I recount that night.
She shakes her head adamantly. “No. He wouldn’t” “But he did,” I say in a mocking tone .
She stands abruptly. “No. I don’t believe you. Ryker… Lincoln… They wouldn’t.”
“It doesn’t matter if you believe me or not. It’s the truth. These men that you think so highly of, the men you want to be like, the men you want to prove yourself to… they are worse than you can ever imagine. If your brothers are involved in the things I think they are, then this is just the tip of the iceberg.”
She starts for the stairs when I stop her. “We had a deal, Vivian.
It’s my turn.”
She whips around with tears in her eyes. “W-What do you want to know?”
I smile. I got to her. Granted, it’s all the truth, but it makes me feel great that I was able to show her the men her brothers are. “I want to know why on earth you thought getting involved in this life would be a good idea.”
She furrows her brows. “I was born into it.”
“No, that’s not what I meant.” I shift in my seat because my ass has grown numb. “Are you so naive that you think this life is anything but horrifying? Did you really think that your brother was a good man with a good heart? Did you think getting more involved in this life would lead you anywhere but into the depths of hell? Look around, Vivian. I was thrown in the deep end, and ever since I have been struggling to reach the surface. I was just like you once. I know what it’s like to want to show everyone you’re so much more than a little girl to marry off to the highest bidder. Stay in the world you live in. A world full of flowers and rainbows. Because this…” I try my best to gesture with my hands, and she stares at me for a moment before she swallows and sucks in a deep breath. “All this isn’t worth it. You gain nothing from this life. So stick to ballet school, stick to finding a husband, and stick to becoming Mrs. Hawkins or whatever. Trust me. You can’t handle the life I live. I know. I’ve watched countless girls just like you try. This world will chew you up and spit you back out.”
“Everyone thinks that I’m weak, that I can’t handle myself. But I’m stronger than you and Ryker give me credit for.”
I let out an exasperated sigh, “I’m not saying you aren’t strong. I’m saying you aren’t strong enough to fight in this life. You didn’t even fight back when I attacked you at the gym.” I look back over at the blinking light on the camera. “Ryker isn’t here, is he?” I ask, and she stiffens, giving me the answer without saying a word. “Find out where he keeps the videos from the warehouse. My best guess is to check his computer. Watch what they did to me to try and get information out of me and see if you can handle that. What Marcus did to me was mild compared to what Manzo has done.” Silence fills the room as she stares at me. Her tears have dried, and I can see the fake sternness she’s trying to express. “If what they are saying is true and war has begun, then you better get prepared. Manzo will look for leverage on Ryker; he will try everything to find his weak spot, and that’s you, Vivian. When Manzo figures that out, he will hunt you down, and you will break in a matter of minutes if he ever gets his hands on you.”
She starts for the stairs again, pausing on the middle step, looking over her shoulder. “You know… I know you’ve been through hell, and I know I should have asked more questions when it came to my involvement in all this shit, but you know nothing about me or my family. You are working on presumptions that are wrong. My brothers are good men. They would never hurt a woman, no matter what you say. Maybe you should take a look at your situation and wonder what it is you did to be treated this way. We could have helped you, but instead, you have been fighting us tooth and nail. For what purpose? Your own gratification? That will make you wind up dead. Don’t bite the hand that feeds you.” She turns back around and finishes her assent up the stairs.