Chapter Twenty-Nine
I wake up in a panic, my breaths shallow and rapid. The large hands stroking my hair pause. I instantly swing my arm out, trying to strike the man next to me.
Ryker stops the attack, the look of concern overpowering any annoyance he might have felt about my attempt to smack him.
“I heard you screaming.” He whispers, lightly letting go of my hand. “Are you okay?” I stare at him blankly for a moment. Blinking a few times, I try to gather my thoughts. I nod slowly, sitting up. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“To you? Why on earth would I do that?” He shrugs. “It might help.”
I bite my lower lip. I could tell him; I should tell him. His father was there. But what if he knew? What if Lincoln knew this whole time that the girl he saw that night was me? But they both told me they didn’t know I was alive, that Bianca Marcello was dead, until they heard me calling for my father at the motel.
I take a deep breath as the panic slowly leaving my body. The fact I feel safe in his presence should be concerning, but truthfully, his soul feels good. His soul should be coated in black tar, but that's not what I see. I see a man doing what he has to, to keep himself alive, to keep his empire running.
I wrestle with the choice and eventually cave, telling him every detail about my dream. As I’m talking, his face goes blank. I wish I could read his mind. Maybe I was wrong, and he knew his father was a bad man. Hell, his world is filled with them. I’m sure he knew.
Once I’m finished, Ryker stands, pulling the covers over me. I didn’t realize I was fully exposed to him in nothing but a long T- shirt that had ridden up, exposing my black underwear. He leans down, placing a soft kiss in between my eyebrows.
“Go back to sleep, I’ll be here.” He stands to his full height, grabs a book off the shelf and settles in the chair next to the fireplace. He pokes the wood with a fire poker, the flames crackling against the wood as he opens his book and begins reading.
◆◆◆
When I wake up, Ryker’s gone. How long did he stay and watch me sleep? And why? Why didn’t he say anything about what I told him? Does he even believe me?
I take a breath, ignoring my racing thoughts. It doesn’t matter what he thinks. I told him, it’s up to him on what he does with this information.
I get out of bed, pulling on the sweatpants I discarded before bed. I pull my hair up into a messy bun and walk to the bathroom. I brush my teeth and splash water on my face. When I look up, I’m thankful to not see the broken and battered woman from my nightmares. Instead, I see a puffy face from a good night's sleep. When I finally fell back asleep, I slept like a baby. For the first time in a few weeks, I didn’t have a single nightmare and it’s all thanks to Ryker.
By the time I make it to the kitchen, everyone is already seated at the table, eating breakfast buffet-style. The only open seat is between Ryker and Jeremy. With a sigh, I take a seat and stare at my empty plate. Across from me, Vivian stares between the three of us with a curious expression.
Ryker raises an eyebrow when I don’t begin to load my plate, and without a moment of hesitation, he scoops a few spoonfuls of eggs onto my plate before reaching over the table and grabbing a sausage off Lincoln's plate. Lincoln rolls his eyes but doesn’t protest. He grabs the pitcher of orange juice and fills my cup before resuming eating.
Nobody says a word as we eat, letting the sounds of forks scraping against the glass plates be our only source of entertainment.
I only take a few bites by the time everyone else is finished. Between the large dinner I had yesterday and the nerves from the thought of tonight, food is the last thing on my mind.
The fact that Manzo knows where I am is unsettling to say the least. I know this place is like a fortress, built to keep people out and every security measure is put into place.
My anxiety about tonight has become all-consuming. A part of me knows I’m being irrational, but the small voice in the back of my mind is screaming at me that this is a trap, that Ryker is going to turn me over to Manzo and I’ll spend the rest of my life as nothing more than a warm body and a womb for Manzo.
“I’d understand if you wanted to turn me over. I don’t want people to die because of me. This war is pointless. I’ve been nothing but…”
“No,” Vivian says, interrupting me, and speaking directly to Ryker. “I don’t care how insufferable she has been, you owe it to her to help her. You all stood by while that monster tried to kill Jeremy. You were deaf to Bianca’s screams as he raped and nearly killed her. You claim you don’t hurt women unless it’s necessary. Was it necessary then, Ryker?” A moment passes and Vivian’s face is growing red. As much as I want to hate her, I can’t help but be grateful. “You owe her.”
The room falls silent, and everyone exchanges looks. “Looks like the decision has been made,” Ryker says.
When I look at him, he looks almost pissed. He continues to eye me. Almost like he’s inspecting the damaged goods he just bought. This is one hell of a price to pay. He could lose everything. His kingdom means more to him than anything else, including his sister and his adopted brother.
“I’m going to take Bianca out today,” Vivian says, breaking the awkward silence.
“Absolutely not. She is not leaving this house.” Ryker growls, clenching his fists under the table.
Vivian rolls her eyes, “She’s leaving tonight anyway. She needs clothes.” She gestures to my oversized outfit.
Ryker looks over to me, glancing down at my current attire. With a huff, he shovels another bite into his mouth. With a satisfied smirk, Vivian stands, extending her hand to me.
“You’re taking Jeremy with you,” Ryker orders, not bothering to look up from his plate.
Jeremy coughs and takes a swig of his orange juice. “Sir?” He asks when he stops coughing.
“You will be their bodyguard today. If anything happens to either of them, I will kill you.” Ryker turns his attention to me, slowly standing, bracing himself against the table, and leaning closer to whisper in my ear. “If you run, I will track you down and make sure you know the right way to behave. ”
Typically, I have more self-control than to let a few words throw me off balance, but between the way he growls out the words and the possessiveness and protectiveness in his gaze breaks down a few of the walls I’ve built surrounding these men.
Instead of showing him how much he affects me, I lean in closer, putting our mouths only an inch apart, “Trust me, if I wanted to disappear and never be found, you would never be able to find me. I’ve learned from my mistakes.” Lingering for a second, I take a deep breath and slowly lean back, grabbing Vivian’s hand and standing from the table. I feel his gaze the entire way out of the room.
Vivian and I wait for Jeremy to join us after she hands me clothes to borrow. A pair of sweatpants and an oversized T-shirt. It might be the same things Ryker had given me, but these will at least fit me a little better. Thankfully, Vivian also brought me a pair of shoes to wear.
Before Jeremy takes us shopping, there is one more thing I need. Pausing in front of the basement door, I glance back towards the kitchen. Hearing Ryker, Lincoln, and Hawkins submerged in a conversation, I turn my attention back to Vivian and Jeremy.
“I don’t like the idea of me being out in the world unprotected.” I gesture to the basement door, “I need a gun.”
“Absolutely not.” Jeremy grits out.
I raise an eyebrow, “What happens when you aren’t next to me, and one of Manzo’s men finds me? I have no way of protecting myself.”
Jeremy runs a hand down his face and through his hair before groaning, “Fine.”
“Where are you going to get a gun?” Vivian asks. “Do you have a bobby pin? ”
She nods and pulls two out of her hair. I grab them and start picking the lock. Fucking lock-picking. Once again, it’s going to get the best of me.
“Here, let me try.” She kneels down next to me and grabs the pins before unlocking the door with ease. I gape at her.
“How in the hell?”
She shrugs. “I’m not completely useless.”
“I never said you were.” I give her a small smile, glancing back to the kitchen once before going down the stairs.
I flip on the light, and a shiver runs through me. As much as I keep telling myself this isn’t Manzo’s dungeon, I can’t help but have flashbacks to the years I spent locked up in chains, being tortured into submission. The recount of my nightmare I had last night makes my palms sweat. I swallow as I turn my attention from the back wall to the wall that holds a full arsenal. After grabbing the .25 caliber and double-checking if it’s loaded, I hold it out to Vivian, and she stiffens.
“I shouldn’t. I’ve never shot a gun.” She says as her face pales. “I’ve never even held one.”
“I just need you to hold it until I can get pants that fit. I don’t have a place to hide it right now.”
She nods and reaches for the gun slowly. When I place it in her shaky hands, her face almost turns green. “It’s heavier than I thought.”
I smile. “It’s only for a few minutes.”
She nods and places it in the waistband of her ripped jeans. She tucks in her shirt by accident, and I can’t help but laugh. She reminds me so much of Maggie. She was always so skittish around weapons, so pure and innocent. I hate that it was stolen from her .
The thought of Maggie sends a wave of sadness through me, so I clear my throat and walk around to Vivian’s back to untuck her shirt before heading back up the stairs. I make sure to lock the door before I close it behind us.
◆◆◆
We first go to a shoe store where I buy a few pairs of heels, a pair of tennis shoes that I wear for the day, and a pair of boots that look comfortable and have fur on the inside. They aren’t really my style, but Vivian insisted I buy them. At checkout, I spotted a pair of black slipper socks and decided to get them as well.
We spent the day filling the trunk with outfits for the both of us. I decided to change into an oversized black long-sleeve sweater and a pair of black leggings. I stuck to the white tennis shoes. I ended up giving the necklace I had taken from the motel back to Jeremy. It made me feel close to him, but now that I have the real thing, I don’t need it. It’s good to see it around his neck again.
Once Vivian and I have been to every store within a ten-mile radius, we grab a late dinner at one of the local restaurants in Ryker’s territory. Ryker set a curfew of eight, so we still have about an hour before he sends out a search party.
We finished our meal about an hour ago and we have just been sitting here talking. Mainly it’s been Vivian talking about ballet and Jeremy briefly talking about his training with Lincoln. Even though I hate the idea of him working for one of the families, he seems to be making a home for himself. That's all I ever wanted for him. This is the first time in years that I’m genuinely happy.
“Anyways, I have this audition the first week of December and I’m super excited about it.” She takes another sip of her cocktail. “If I get it, I’ll be the youngest ballerina to take the lead at the Academy.”
“But you don’t go to the school?” I ask, joining her in our third drink.
“Yeah, but I will. I start in the spring. They are letting me audition since, technically, I'll be a student when the show starts.”
I nod. “You think you will get it?”
“No.” She laughs. “I’m good enough to get in, but I doubt I can get the lead. I’ll be happy playing a tree.”
I laugh. “Maybe you can teach me a few moves.” I put my hands above my head the way I’ve seen ballerinas do on TV. She laughs and stands holding out her hand for me to take. I slurp down the rest of my drink and let her lead me out of the restaurant.
◆◆◆
Vivian stumbles into the house with me practically dragging her inside. She laughs as she stumbles up the steps to her room. I wrap my arm around her a bit tighter so she doesn’t fall.
I throw the door open, letting her fall face-first on her mattress. She lets out a groan, and I can’t help but chuckle. I take off her heels and put the throw blanket on top of her.
“Are you fucking my brother?” She slurs, barely keeping her eyes open.
Laughing, I start for the door, “No.”
“He wants to. You should see the way he looks at you when you aren’t looking. I haven’t seen him look at a girl like that… ever.” She burps the last word, and I pause in the doorway. “Ar e you sure you guys haven’t done anything?” She mutters the words into the pillow, looking at me through glazed eyes.
I let out a content sigh, “We’ve kissed and done things.”
She lifts her head, narrowing her eyes. “He kissed you?” She hiccups.
I nod slowly, gripping the handle of the door tighter. “Is that weird?”
A slow smile plays on her lips as she lays her head back down and closes her eyes. “He said he doesn’t kiss women. Kissing is too intimate and would confuse women about what he wants from them. He said he’s reserving that for his wife.”
My grip becomes deadly as my thoughts spiral. If that’s the case, why would he kiss me? He hates me. At least I thought he did. I don’t necessarily like him, but I know the hatred I felt for him is fading. That doesn’t mean anything more… Right? Shaking off the flooding thoughts, I lightly shut the door behind me.
I practically jump out of my skin when I turn around. Finding Ryker leaning against his bedroom door in nothing but boxer briefs. He’s leaning against the doorframe, and I feel my panties instantly turn into a river.
I clear my throat and start to walk past him, but he grabs my upper arm.
“Are you drunk?”
“No.” I yank my arm out of his grasp. “I know how to handle my liquor.”
He takes a step into me and searches my eyes. Scoffing, I take a step back and perform a half-assed sobriety test.
“Go get dressed,” he says once my routine is done .
“Yes, sir!” I mock, and he presses his body into me almost as soon as the words leave my mouth.
“You better watch that pretty little mouth of yours. You shouldn’t say things like that.”
“What are you going to do about it? Torture me?” I scoff, pressing my body flush against his. The moment my body hits him, I instantly feel his hard-on. My face drains of color, remembering what he felt like inside of me.
Noticing my reaction, he smirks. “My girl should know better than to tease. Don’t start something you can’t finish.”
Without another word, he pushes off the wall and silently shuts the door behind him.