Chapter 3 | Cameron
Chapter 3
Cameron
T he last thing I wanted to do was to get out of my comfort zone and go out and meet and have dinner with Jason’s friends. I wasn’t good with people, especially men I didn’t know. That was why I tried marrying a woman who had transitioned to being a man. It was good while it lasted, but we never connected.
She wanted children and I thought it wasn’t for me, and I went on to date other men and finally he met a woman who wanted children, and she packed up and left me with this enormous home where I was hardly here, because I traveled around to my department stores. Next week I’d be in Dallas and after that I was going to New York for a month.
Maybe that was why I was considered a playboy because of the opportunities I had traveling around and meeting men and then I was gone. Whatever anyone thought, it wasn’t true. I was looking for a man I could call my own, and especially one like that young handsome dude who appeared to want to video himself and put his life out there for the world to comment on.
Although, I liked him and if I made an effort, I could probably find him, but for now, I was happy jerking off and thinking how wonderful it would be to be fucking his cute ass.
“Are you ready, Cam. You’ve had enough time.”
“Don’t call me that. It’s Cameron to you.” He raised an eyebrow.
“Damn, but you look hot. And that suit is expensive. Understated with that pink shirt under that dark blue suit, and those cufflinks give the right touch. My friends would think I fell into money.” I climbed into my Porsche 911 with Jason opening the door, and saying, “Now this is class.”
Glancing over, “What are you my shopper now? And for your information you have been falling into money, but not yours. You’re living in my house rent free—”
“You’re never home. I’m doing you a favor.”
“You can do me a favor by getting your own place, so I can sell this house and buy myself a condo by the sea. Maybe in Miami, or an apartment in New York because I’m always there.”
“You need to pass this by me sometimes. I didn’t know you were in a hurry to sell this... place. I had been hoping I could house sit until I found someone—”
I interrupted. “Someone to put up with your bullshit,” I added.
“Now that was plain rude.”
“What? ‘Rude? I was being kind. How long have you been saying that? I bet you put that over on your mother and she told you to get out and that’s why you’re here.”
“You were misinformed.”
“By whom? Your mother, or the man who threw you out and kept his sports car, and your expensive clothes? Your mother calls me regularly and begs me to let you stay with me because not even she can take you. She’s cute and a saint, and I couldn’t resist her pleading for her wayward son.”
“I’m not wayward. I have plenty of opportunities and there’s this job I’m waiting for.”
“Oh yeah, the one before or after I gave you a position at my department store?”
“You had me selling shoes. What the fuck? You know I’m not good with people.”
“You must have been great, because you found your next victim at that store. You know our store policy is never date the customers.”
“I was your friend, I didn’t think it applied to me. There should be some benefits from knowing a successful rich handsome dude like yourself.”
“I’m not rich and don’t go around saying that, especially to those friends of yours. I don’t want a target on my back.”
“If you didn’t want that you should have worn something inconspicuous like a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt. Like me. You don’t see me advertising my wealth—”
“That’s because you don’t have any to speak of. You’re depending on ‘the kindness of strangers’ as Tennessee Williams wrote so eloquently in a ‘Street Car Named Desire’. “What?” I said, when Jason turned to me with a broad smile.
“You know all these things. You’ve lived. That’s what I want, to be articulate, knowledgeable, and sweep a man off his feet with my words.”
“First you have to read, then you need to have lived, and you can’t do that living off your mother or me. When was the last time you had a book in your hand, and I’m not talking about that bodybuilding magazine you jerk off with. At least when I look at that boy on television he’s living and breathing. And now that I’m on this subject, my maid said she’s tired of picking up your clothes, because they’re full of a sticky substance including those magazines.” I turned for a second to see Jason’s expression. He wasn’t affected by this conversation or his behavior.
“That takes a lot of effort to clean up behind myself, and isn’t she getting paid to clean? Why should she be concerned about what I do in the privacy of my own bedroom?”
“It’s not your bedroom, it’s mine, and people talk and it could be difficult to get someone to come here after this, because I’ve seen that room I let you sleep in. I’ll probably have to demolish it before I sell the place.”
“Tell her to wear gloves next time. Like that she doesn’t have to touch my things.” Nothing I said seemed to get through to him. Daddy issues I was sure.
“Oh, look. We’re here. Now don’t act like a wallflower.” Where did that come from? Since when did Jason advise me on anything, let alone my behavior around men I didn’t care for?
How about you clean your own room from this day on? And I’ve never been a wallflower in my life. When you were wearing those glasses in high school and couldn’t get a date even if you sucked a football team’s cocks two at a time, I was fucking every rich young playboy and Daddy in New York. So don’t think I don’t know my way around a well-formed ass and a super-hot waiting cock.”
“That’s what I wanted to hear that you’re the guy I once knew. Not that old dude sitting by the TV and jerking off to a young dude who right now is probably getting his ass rimmed.”
“Will you stop?” I pulled the car up to the valet, tossed him my keys, then stood patiently as he wrote the ticket. When he handed it to me, I said, “That’s my baby, take care of it better than your own.”
I wanted to take pictures, but I thought it was a little too much and the dude watched me, and said, “Don’t worry, I’ll park it over here.” Nevertheless, I glared at him because of the look on his face as if he couldn’t wait to get behind the wheel.
“Are we going inside?” Jason asked.
“You go. I want to see where the kid is parking my car.”
“Now I know you’ve lost a step. What happened to that carefree, devil-may-care dude who traded his cars in for another every year?” Jason questioned.
I turned away and strode to the front door with Jason. “What happened to you? Too many young men?” I questioned.
“But you have money—”
“And I want to keep it.”
“Let’s stop talking about money and enjoy the evening,” Jason said.
“That’s easy for you to say,” I added as we waited for the doorman to open the door to the hotel that housed an expensive restaurant. I knew because I’d taken Jason to it once upon a blue moon.
“It’s over here,” he said, trotting behind a crowd.
“I remember, I was the one who first introduced you to the finer things in life and lived to regret it.”
“Do you remember when we first met?” Jason said, reminding me of an unpleasant night.
“It’s etched on my brain. Now let’s not think of unkind things,” I said.
“But I thought it was the best night of my life.”
“You would.” I opened the door and the place was full of men and woman, some in business suits, and others dressed casually. I stuck out because of my expensive suit. I knew I should have changed when Jason made a remark about money.
The greeter said, “I know the party you’re looking for. It’s over here, Jason.” I glared at Jason for obvious reasons.
“What?” Jason said.
“You know, and we will discuss it later.” When we found the table and everyone had a drink in their hand and noticeably on the road to getting drunk, I glanced once more at Jason. “You know this isn’t my scene. I’m going home early. If you haven’t found a way home in an hour, take a cab.”
“Are you paying for it?”
“No. Whoever you fool into taking you into one of those high-priced rooms on a promise for you to suck their cock, then you should get them to pay.”
“How do you know—”
“How do I know what? That’s how you entangled me, remember. I had broken up with my partner and was lonely—”
“You weren’t lonely. You needed to fuck someone, and I was available.
“If I remember, you were always available, and it was the other way around.” I should have been on someone’s couch when I’d agreed to fuck him, I concluded.
He hunched his shoulders and strode ahead of me, then he stopped and turned facing me.
“Let’s not bring up old memories, and they were good memories for me even if you’ve soured on the idea of repeating that night.”
I rolled my eyes. It was a good thing we were in a section where the lights were low and there were too many cameras.
“Today is a new day, and we should enjoy this night,” Jason said in a cheery voice. He was always in a good mood. Hell, what did he have to be upset about? No job yet he managed to find a place to live and he wore expensive clothes even if he had to beg for them, and I offered them to him because they came from my stores.
“Jason, tell your friends I’m going to the bar—” I had to get away from all his positive vibes because it was suffocating, and I wanted to dwell in the past and think about my partner dying, and the boy I’d fallen in love with at first sight on one of those media channels. Who does that? I asked myself as I looked at Jason’s mouth moving, but not hearing him until he touched me and got my attention.
“They’re going to think you don’t want to mingle with them. That you’re too good to be in their company.”
“I don’t, and I am,” I emphasized after glancing at a dude who appeared to have his hand under the table, and unzipping his friend’s pants. If I could see that, then someone else walking would notice it also. Yeah, I heard public sex was great, but I don’t want to eat a steak and have to say no to a handshake or fist bump, or maybe climbing the ladder to reach forty had taken all the joy and excitement out of my life.
Maybe Jason had been right and perhaps I’d turned into someone I didn’t recognize.
Therefore, I nodded in the couple’s direction, offered a smile and a thumbs up to the dude getting his dick polished, and I strolled away.
These guys were young and drunk, and they wouldn’t miss me anyway. There was a piano and someone playing soft jazz music, I guessed I’d gotten old enough to enjoy something soft and easy. I strode up to the piano where there were bar stools, and a waiter came immediately.
“I’ll have Scotch. Johnny Walker Blue Label” When the waiter turned to walk away, my eyes caught sight of someone who looked like Sabastian. My Sabastian, the influencer. I narrowed my eyes. No, that couldn’t be him. I thought he said he’d be in Dallas. I must have missed one of his videos. I wondered if I should go over and ask him, but what did I look like at my age behaving like a stalker or fan. I was a fan. A desperate fan.
I tried to convince myself it wasn’t him. If I pulled out my glasses I would know for sure, but I was vain and didn’t want to take the chance he’d see me and think I was too old to flirt with him. I had my own issues I had to get over. I’d never felt like that before because I wasn’t on the dating scene. I had Brett, and there was security in knowing you had someone to hold at night and talk about life and enjoy life together. But here I sat, listening to the piano player singing “Autumn Leaves”, without the security of how Brett filled my life with his presence, and now I was searching for what I’d lost when I focused on the ending of the song. “I miss you most of all, my darling, when autumn leaves start to fall.”
When the waiter returned with my drink, I asked, “Do you know who that guy is sitting at the table near the window?”
“No. But I can ask him?”
He slid his tongue over his lips and shifted his forehead up and down, and turned, when I said, “Instead, send him a drink on me. I don’t think he’s a Scotch kind of guy, but make sure he gets his drink of choice.