Chapter 14 | Cameron | A year later
Chapter 14
Cameron
A year later
I didn’t expect Sam to be gone when I exited the shower. I needed a few minutes to myself and that was when I realized I’d had the best time with that young man. He must have touched something inside of me. Was it my heart? I had been so cold lately that I scarcely noticed I hadn’t been warm for anyone. He brought something out of me. I felt as if I was in my twenties again and experiencing a new relationship. That was when I first met Brett. I remembered his touch and the way I felt as if it was yesterday.
Brett had gone to a party and he was sitting all alone when I strode in and I couldn’t figure out why a man like him chose to be alone when there were goodlooking men and women circling him hoping that he’d look at them, but he didn’t. He gazed up and our eyes locked and at that moment I knew he was the man for me.
Just like I knew Sam or Sabastian was for me. It was strange because Brett was the same age I was now when we connected, and that jolt of electricity hit both of us at the same time the way it hit me and Sam. What the fuck was I thinking to let him get away from me?
I acted out of disappointment because I wanted the same type of relationship I thought I had with Brett. “It’s over,” I mumbled as I stared trying to wrap my head around loss. Now I’d lost what could have been an important part of my life. The time where I’d met a younger man whom I could have taught about life and protected him from mistakes I’d made in my journey of becoming a middle-aged man.
When I submitted my body to Sam, even though I was a top, it was my way of acknowledging it was time to surrender that part of myself to a younger man the way Brett had submitted to me. I’d enjoyed every moment of his lovemaking.
I didn’t know what I expected from him. I’d just met him, and before I could get to know and have a conversation where we could discuss our needs and desires, I’d fucked up something that started out so good, and ended with me being an ass.
I just wished I’d been more flexible, but I’d been uptight and upset since Brett left me alone and I had to learn how to date again. It had been a year now since I last saw Sabastian and I’d been miserable. I didn’t know another man besides Brett could make me miss him so much. Yet I didn’t try to find him because I’d been busy trying to hold together companies that had been in my family for fifty years.
My mother had turned over her controlling shares to me before she died and I had been running the Westlake department stores for the last twenty years. It was a small group of stores located in Dallas, and headquarters in New York. Lately with the economy in shambles, I didn’t need to lay anyone off because I kept the stores small and the people my team hired were young and they knew what to do to keep profits high.
Since I hadn’t dated since I met Sabastian, I couldn’t bring myself to even look at him for fear I’d do something stupid like call and beg him to come see me. Nevertheless, I threw myself into my work and made myself happy with that and a loveless life.
Because I couldn’t bring myself to get in touch with Sabastian, I wasn’t great to get along with. I was angry and now I didn’t know why. It was as he’d said, “it was a simple stupid lie” that came between something that would have turned into a great life. Sitting at my desk, I couldn’t help but look out at the skyscrapers and think about traveling to Italy with Sabastian and lying on the beaches, then sleeping the rest of the day with him in my arms and at night, dining out at a small restaurant, taking a walk and then back to our hotel rooms and making love all day and night.
I really needed a vacation, but I couldn’t find that person I’d want to share that with except Sabastian.
I was realistic to know it was me who destroyed this relationship before it began. I alone sabotaged it because I was afraid to love again. But now I couldn’t sit here and sigh about what could have been, especially since I didn’t want it with anyone but him.
My secretary strolled into my office after a small knock and he sat in front of me. “We need to go over these figures and discuss if you want to let anyone go.”
“This is a bad time to be laying people off,” I said to Don.
“Just thought I’d ask. I know how you are. You want to run the business like your grandfather and mother, but times have changed. Those young people you hired have turned this clothing company around. It’s about time you are selling things online—”
“But some people still like to come to department stores and try on their clothes. They have this boy... I mean man on social media and he goes to the stores and tries on the jeans and jackets, and purses—”
“He carries a purse? That’s interesting. I wonder if he’s cute,” Don said smiling, daydreaming with a curious gleam to his eyes. I hoped he wasn’t having the same fantasy as I had because I didn’t know what I’d do if I ever saw them together, or with anyone.
“I’m going to New York in a week for the holidays,” I announced. I liked to be in New York for the lighting of the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center. I may even see a show—”
“You know I would like to go with you once. I could keep you company.”
“I know what you’re doing, Don, but I don’t mix business with pleasure, and besides, you have a partner, and I need a man that’s not spoken for.”
“And where are you going to find one? Not in Dallas. There are few in Texas that are willing to come out of the closet, and they would have to be millionaires like you, and run your own business.”
“I have friends in Manhattan and Texas who have their own businesses and their lives are hectic and that seems to find a balance. When I return, Justin said he’d introduce me to someone who could be a match. He hasn’t known the guy long, but he’s young. I’m going to try young because men a certain age hasn’t worked out for me. You know after Brett I tried dating men my age, but there was always a problem of cheating and I don’t like infidelity.”
“I’ve known you a long time, Cameron, and if I can remember—”
“I was twenty-something and that was before Brett. He made me realize how important it was to have someone to come home to. Someone I could depend on. Justin—” Don interrupted me. He appeared to be looking around for someone, because each time I mentioned a man his eyes lit up, and he sounded as if he was ready for a new man in his life. I remembered those days before Brett. I was never satisfied because it was always something that didn’t mesh with the dudes. Now it was getting worse with me. I had my mind on Sabastian and no one could measure up to one night with him.
Don brought me out of my thoughts.
“Are you talking about Justin Fields? The one who owns dealerships up the Wazoo?”
“Yeah, The Justin Fields who started a car business from nothing, and now he’s a millionaire or could be a billionaire. I don’t know because I don’t ask and he still wears his tee shirts and jeans. Nothing flashy about that dude except he’s a handsome guy.”
“When did you meet Justin? And does he have a partner?” Don smiled and met my eyes.
“I don’t know about his marital or dating status. We don’t have that kind of relationship. I talk to him occasionally about business and to answer one question, when I bought my first exotic car, I think it was a Ferrari. I can’t remember, because I’ve bought so many now I can’t keep count. I store them at Justin’s garage, and he takes care of them for me. When I need to drive somewhere I get my car and take it out. Haven’t done that lately since... you know.” I had gotten tired of talking about Brett, and I thought my friends were tired of hearing about him.
“Are you ready to date and find a partner?”
“I better be if I don’t want to spend the rest of my life as a bachelor. The bachelor’s life isn’t for me. I wanted children, but it appears I was always traveling and Brett would have been left alone to raise the children, so we decided to get a puppy instead. Brett’s sister took it and gave me visiting rights.”
I smiled at the thought when we first brought it home, but I didn’t have my dog anymore. He grew old and I had to get over his loss and now Brett. I wondered how long it would take to get past this. I needed something to do, someone to take my mind off my problems.
“I don’t see where anything has changed with you, Cameron. You still fly around the states and Europe and don’t have a man anymore.”
“It’s different now. I’m planning on letting someone else run my family’s company when I find that elusive man who would want to put up with a forty-something man set in his ways.” Don stood and strode around to my desk to pat me on the back and give me a hug if I needed one. I needed one after I’d run Sabastian away instead of a hug,
“If you need a friend, you know where I am.”
“Yeah, I do. But I think I can handle things now.”
Don glanced at me and offered me a closed smile and strutted to the door, reached for the handle, then turned and gave me the thumbs up. “You’ll find that guy. I hope he’s all you could ever want. I’ve been looking for someone all my life, and I think it’s not for me.” And Don left with a sad look in his eyes. There was something in his words and voice he hadn’t told me about. This didn’t sound as if he was a man who was happy in his relationship.
He sounded like a man getting ready for a breakup, or it had already happened. After thinking about what I’d said to Sabastian and then to Justin about introducing me to someone, I changed my mind after talking with Don.
I reached for my phone and called Justin.
“How would you like to go with me to New York, and ride in my private jet?”
“Is that you, Cameron? I haven’t heard from you since—” I knew what he wanted to tell me, and I didn’t want to hear it at this time.
“Who else would it be, Justin? Do you know someone who has a private jet?”
“Well, to think about it, I know quite a few. I have one, so maybe you’d consider riding with me?”
“That’s news to me. Where was I when you bought one?”
“Having a breakdown. I heard about your loss. I gave you a few years to get over it and sent you a text saying I had someone for you to meet. And you just got back to me?”
“Because I’m ready to date. I wasn’t ready before. That’s why I called you.”
“Well, you surprised me, Cam, I thought I’d given my number to one of my clients and I was hoping he was hot and a bottom or bisexual. I would take that if I could get it.”
“What the fuck are you talking about, Justin? You’re hot and I’d fuck you.”
“Yeah, but I’m a top and I’m not ready to give up that position.” I didn’t tell him that I’d already given it up to someone I was still trying to get over. I enjoyed the hell out of that one night with Sabastian, and I’d give it up for that man, if he ever came into my life again which I doubted.
“Look, Cameron, I have a few days to blow so sure, I’d like to see New York. There’s a good chance I can sell some of my cars I’m not using. Do you want to buy one?”
“I don’t drive the ones I have now. They’re just sitting in your garage gathering dust.”
“Now you can’t use that language because you know I take good care of your cars, and besides they’re an investment. You have a business and you can write those Ferrari’s off on your taxes.”
“Is that how you get everyone to purchase those expensive cars?”
“Somewhat. But they are beautiful, and—”
“And I haven’t rode in those cars or that latest bespoke Ferrari that hasn’t arrived yet.”
“Waiting and anticipating for something makes it so much sweeter.”
“Not everyone is alike Justin?” When it comes to men I want what I want now, I thought, and now I want to be looking at Sabastian as he fucks me hard.
When Justin and I hung up, we had agreed on the time we would depart from my private airport. I had invited Don along since he felt needy and despondent, and I needed him to help me.