Chapter 17
CHAPTER
SEVENTEEN
Saber
I offer to go and check in on the kids while the rest of them stay downstairs and get to know my soon-to-be old lady and wife. I stoically think back to a few days ago when I was emphatic that she’d never be my old lady, only my wife on paper. But thanks to Wrecker’s interference, my way of thinking has changed and I can’t wait to announce to the club and Foxy that she’s not going anywhere—ever.
With my heart in my throat, I open the door Jillian told me was Egypt’s and watch as she fitfully twists and turns on the bed, but considering the fact that her eyes are closed, I softly shut the door and decide to let her wake on her own when her body is ready.
As I approach Canyon’s room, I do something I haven’t done in my lifetime, I pray. I don’t want him to hate me or Foxy. I bet he’s going to be full of bitterness considering that due to our decision, he’s suffered one of the biggest losses a person can experience.
I lightly knock on his door since I can see his shadow pacing from beneath the door. When he doesn’t answer, I call out, “Canyon, it’s me. Can I come in?”
The door is yanked open as he asks, “Who’s me?” When he notices me standing there, he huffs. “Oh, it’s you.”
“Yeah, it’s me,” I state, swallowing the lump in my throat. “Can I come in?”
“Sure, why not,” he says with a hint of teenage attitude. “Not like it’s my place anyway.”
“It’s yours,” I snap. “If you don’t want me to come in, just say so, Canyon. Nobody wants to take what privacy you have away from you. This is your safe space, your sanctuary.”
“Sorry,” he mumbles. “I’m on edge and have a lot on my mind. Please come in, doctor.”
“I’m not on shift today, why don’t you call me Saber?”
He snorts and shakes his head. The way he’s looking at me isn’t necessarily with loathing, but it’s pretty damn close. It’s nearly jaded. He’s far too young to have that chip on his shoulder, that’s for sure, especially since from everything I saw at his former home, he had a good life.
Foxy Roxy did good considering the hell I heaped on her shoulders.
“If you have something to say, say it. I don’t break easily, Canyon. Nothing you say to me is going to make me wilt.”
“You’re my dad aren’t you?” His question catches me off-guard. Out of anything he was going to ask or say, that wasn’t what I was expecting.
“Why do you ask that?” I ask, prolonging the conversation because I need a chance to mentally prepare myself for his ire.
He gives me a duh look before he shakes his head. “I look just like you. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure it out.”
I guess his smartass is out in full swing today. I didn’t see this snarky side of him in the hospital. His attitude with me is as different as night and day compared to how it was when he was asking me about his sister. Granted, he’s had a little bit of time for the news to fully sink in, but I wasn’t expecting him to come at me swinging with both barrels.
“That swab you took from me, it was so you could run my DNA, wasn’t it?” he continues. “I’ve taken biology, I know what that was for.”
“Okay. So I guess we’re going to do this now, huh?” I ask, sitting down at the desk chair so I can be off my feet. I have a feeling if I don’t, my knees are going to buckle. “I guess it explains your attitude.”
“I can’t help it! I’m so angry I can’t see straight. I just lost my parents and the man who helped create me enters my life and takes control of it,” he seethes.
“How do you figure I’m trying to control your life, Canyon?”
“You’re wearing the same vest as RiffRaff. I’m not dumb, I can put two and two together to get four,” he answers, rolling his eyes.
“I suppose it’s confession time,” I mutter. “Yes, I knew you were mine which is why I ran the buccal swab. As soon as I had confirmation, I started greasing the wheels to get you here with RiffRaff and Jillian. They are friends, but more than that, RiffRaff is my brother. We do wear the same cuts since we belong to the same club.”
“If you want me in your life so bad, why did you give me away?” This time, his voice is low and unsure. His eyes are full of trepidation and I know if I don’t handle this the right way, I may end up losing him and his faith in me before I have a chance to earn it.
“Your mom and I, we were young, too damn young to be parents. We were in school, and we were struggling to keep a roof over our heads and food in our bellies. Adding an extra mouth and body to the equation scared the ever-loving shit out of us. We both wanted better for you. Our lives before then, weren’t full of rainbows and sunshine. To us, you were the most important thing in our lives and we wanted you to feel loved and sheltered, not have to wonder when the next time you’d get a meal or if we had to go to the local truck stop to have a shower.” I know these aren’t the only reasons, but it’s the gist of it.
“Must not’ve heard about rubbers, I guess,” he sneers.
My own irritation flares because he’s disrespecting his mother, my woman, but at the same time, I can tell he’s put up a wall of false bravado. He’s scared from the trauma of losing his parents, worried about the future, and now he’s realized that he has come face-to-face with the man who had a part in creating him.
“As a matter of fact, we used them. Did you know there’s nothing a couple can use birth-control wise that is one-hundred percent effective in preventing pregnancy? Ours failed twice, because she was on an oral contraceptive as well. So even though it wasn’t a great time for it to happen, there’s obviously a plan for you because you were conceived despite our best attempts to keep that from happening.”
While I’m not religious whatsoever, I pull on something I’ve heard a few times in the emergency room when a mother can’t make it up to labor and delivery. About how children are never a mistake even if the circumstances aren’t optimal.
“And my mom?” he asks, vulnerability shining in his eyes. “What about her? Where is she these days?”
“The decision to put you up for adoption wasn’t an easy one,” I confess, unwilling to fully discuss mine and Roxy’s folly over the situation. “Suffice it to say, we didn’t stay together after the nurse took you from her and gave you to the McAllisters. However, we’ve since reconnected and are planning to get married. She’s a doctor as well now, and she took care of Egypt when y’all were brought into the hospital.”
He huffs out a breath and I can’t tell if he’s trying to keep from allowing the tears I can see shimmering in his eyes from overflowing, or if he’s overwhelmed by everything I’ve just shared. It could actually be a little bit of both.
“Where do you see me fitting into that picture? Are you wanting me back now that I’m older and you won’t have to change my diapers? I won’t leave Egypt. You may not be her birth parents, but she’s my sister.” Now I see what the crux of the problem is and why he’s tossing arrogance my way. He’s worried that we’ll try and separate him from her.
“We’d never separate the two of you,” I promise. “That’s one of the reasons I sought help from my club brother and his wife. I knew there’d be hoops that your mother and I would have to jump through in order to have both of you in our lives, and we wanted y’all to be in a safe place while you healed from the accident while that was going on.”
“What kind of hoops?” he queries.
“When a child is given up for adoption, the parents have to have their parental rights terminated. If we were to show y’all a copy of your birth certificates, your parents would show as Mr. and Mrs. McAllister. That means, we will have to legally adopt you even though you’re our biological son, as well as Egypt.”
He stares me directly in the eyes as if he’s measuring me up and asks, “And you’re going to do that? Adopt us both?”
“Yeah,” I murmur, a small smile turning my lips upward. I have to admit, he’s his father’s son. He doesn’t take shit lying down and wants the facts laid out on the table. “Do you wanna know something kind of cool?” I question.
“What?” He’s not sounding as belligerent, which has me cautiously optimistic, but I’m still gonna tread with caution.
“When we found out we were having a little boy, we chose a name so we weren’t calling you something silly like ‘bean’ or ‘peanut’,” I admit. “So, we called you Draco. And your mother? She chose the couple she thought would be the best people to raise you and told them what we had been calling you.”
“That’s my middle name,” he replies. “They kept it as my middle name!”
I nod, overcome with emotion myself. “You need to understand that we know this won’t be easy for you, given the circumstances, but you’ve never been far from our thoughts this whole time. Adding Egypt to our family will just make it that much sweeter as far as we’re concerned.”
“So even though I wasn’t with you, I had a piece of you. I had Draco,” he surmises.
“You did,” I acknowledge, reaching out and placing my hand on his knee. “You may not have known it, but you’ve always had us, son.”
“What about if you have more kids?” he asks, his voice back to sounding suspicious. “What happens then?”
“Then you and Egypt become the big brother and sister,” I advise. “I’m sure it’s not as much fun when you’re a teenager and your mother has a baby, but we’re obviously both still young. Not only that, but when we were teenagers, we dreamed about having a house full of children.”
“You grew up together?” I can now see that he’s no longer full of anger, but curiosity. And I’m going to answer each question he has so he understands that even if we choose to add to our family down the road, neither he nor Egypt will be replaced.
“We did. Your mother, Roxy and I, grew up in the system. It was a hard life, which is why we didn’t want that for you. With the way we were struggling to survive, the state could’ve stepped in and taken you away from us. Your mother made the right, mature decision.”
“Does that mean you didn’t want to put me up for adoption?” he asks.
“No, I didn’t. However, that doesn’t mean I was right. Now that I’m older and seeing things clearer, I know that the McAllisters were the better choice for you. I haven’t said this yet, but I’m going to say it now, I’m sorry for your loss, Canyon. I can’t imagine what you’re going through and I wish I could take this pain away from both you and Egypt. What can I do to help make it better for you?”
“I don’t know,” he says, blowing out a heated breath. “Right now, nothing feels right.”
“I get that. Your life has imploded and you have no other choice but stay on course and join the ride. I can promise you that with time, things will get easier. The pain and grief will always be there, you’ll always miss what you had, but it’ll lessen.”
“We’ll see,” he mutters.
“Now that you get from Roxy,” I chuckle. “She’s always saying that to me when I tell her I want something.”
“What do I get from you?” he hesitantly asks.
“Everything else,” I chuckle. “It’s like looking back through time when I look at you and listen to your smartass mouth.”
“We’ll see,” he rebuts with a smile on his face which has us both chuckling.
Maybe things aren’t going to be as bad as we were worried they were going to be. But like all things, only time will tell.