Chapter Twenty-Nine #3
Theos was startled into silence and fell silently back into line as they moved on.
Finnvid was right; there was no need to draw attention to themselves.
But Finnvid didn’t understand that it didn’t matter if they drew the attention of an Elkati or two.
It probably wouldn’t matter if they drew the attention of five, as long as none of them were archers.
Theos could handle a few Elkati. By the sword, his Sacrati instincts wanted to handle them.
He’d been nervous walking through camp but unable to do anything about it, and his body was still thrumming with unused energy.
It would feel so good to use it, to fight and strain and face death and find victory over his foe.
He scowled at Finnvid, scurrying forward, running away, and was irritated, but only for a moment. Because then he realized the soldiers they’d just escaped from were Finnvid’s people. Anyone they fought now would be one of Finnvid’s people. Maybe someone he’d grown up with, someone he knew.
The Elkati soldiers who’d looked away and let them pass? Did Theos want those soldiers to regret their actions and spend the rest of their lives knowing that their decision had allowed Theos to go on and kill some of their comrades?
He swore under his breath, too quietly for Finnvid to hear. War was much easier when he didn’t know any of the enemy.
They walked on until the moon set, then denned up for a few hours of sleep while waiting for the sun.
As they lay on their sides, facing each other, their bodies tight together to share warmth and comfort, Theos wished there was more light.
He wanted to study Finnvid’s face, wanted to understand how he was feeling.
He’d left his people behind, helped someone who might be their enemy, someone who’d only hours earlier wanted to kill some of them just to wear off some energy . . .
“Close your eyes,” Finnvid said softly.
“It’s dark in here. You don’t know if they’re open or closed.”
“I know. I can feel you staring at me.”
“No you can’t.”
“Are you staring at me?”
“Maybe.”
“I wonder how I knew that?”
“Well, now I wonder too! How am I supposed to go to sleep with that on my mind? I need to keep my eyes open so I can watch you and figure it out.”
“You can’t see me. It’s dark in here.”
“If Elkati have superior night vision, that’s something I should know. It could have strategic importance.”
“It won’t. Because we’re away from the Elkati now. We’re only a day or two from the border, and no matter how much they might want to catch us, they won’t be stupid enough to cross the border into Torian lands, not after killing Sacrati.”
“And you’re not worried about that? Not sad? To be leaving your people behind . . .”
“I’m sad,” Finnvid said softly. “And a bit worried.”
“I don’t like that.” Theos was surprised by how true that statement was.
He didn’t like—he hated—the thought of Finnvid being unhappy.
He wanted to protect him from it, somehow, but he didn’t think there was a way.
Well, not for most of it. He couldn’t do anything about the sadness, but maybe he could help with the worry.
“I’ll take care of you. In Windthorn. You can stay with me, and I can pay for your food, just like before.
We’ll find you something to do. Something worthwhile, something you like.
” What else? What else would someone like Finnvid be worrying about?
“I’ll try to . . . I’m not sure. I’ll talk to people.
I’ll help them understand that the Elkati— I won’t lie.
I won’t say the Elkati aren’t murdering cowards.
But I’ll make sure people understand that the trouble started in Windthorn.
I’ll make sure that if they’re looking for revenge, they look close to home; that’s where the real betrayal happened. ”
“We could get back to Windthorn and find the warlord completely in charge. He may have already killed the Sacrati there, and taken over the city.”
“Then I’ll find somewhere else safe for you until I can get things sorted out.”
Finnvid snorted. “If I wanted to stand with you when you were fighting my people, do you think I wouldn’t want to be with you while you fought your own?”
“I’d like it better if you were somewhere safe.”
“And I’d like it better if you came with me to that safe place, and left all this mess behind. But you’re not going to do that. I know it. So . . . I’ll stay with you, and we’ll be unsafe together.”
Finnvid’s loyalty was touching, but it was Theos’s own reaction to it that was truly overwhelming.
Theos had experienced comradeship all his life, with the Torians in general and then the Sacrati in particular.
He knew what it was like to care about the group more than he cared about himself.
But this? For him to care just as much about one single person as he did for all of the Sacrati combined?
And for that person to care about him in return?
Theos tugged at the leather bracer on his right wrist. Two buckles undone, and then he ran his fingers over the bracelets.
Where was it? That one, with the rounded, smooth surface.
He stretched it so the gap between the ends widened, and then he slipped it off his wrist and reached out to find Finnvid’s hand.
He wrapped the cool metal around warm flesh and squeezed the ends shut tight.
“For me?” Finnvid whispered.
Theos just nodded. He wasn’t sure he could trust his voice, and he wouldn’t be able to find the right words anyway.
“I wish I could see it.”
“I’m still not sure that you can’t, with your night vision. But if you can’t see it now, you can see it tomorrow.” Tomorrow, and the day after, and many days after that.
They slept, then, both of them exhausted, and woke early the next morning to begin walking again.
Several times through the day, Theos caught Finnvid looking at the bracelet, or running the fingers of his other hand over the smooth metal, and each time he saw that, he felt .
. . he didn’t know what to call it. Proud, somehow, and tender, and strangely hopeful.
It was hard to understand, and certainly would have been hard to explain, but he didn’t think he really had to explain it.
Because the only person who needed to know how he felt was Finnvid, and every time he touched the bracelet, he turned and smiled at Theos, and Theos smiled back at him. And that was enough.