Chapter 41
Penny
Seeing the results of our weeks of labor was gratifying, and I knew my father would have been proud. I should have been proud, but instead I found myself anxious.
Our impending return to Ashpoint was double edged.
The cottage there that had become home beckoned, with all the love and warmth we’d built within its walls.
But Merrick was there, too, along with two more Oaths and the small society that hinged on our efforts to lead them toward change. Or destruction.
But seeing this—the farm thriving, my family safe and cared for—it gave me hope. We could do good things, Kit and I. Maybe even great ones.
We slipped out of the house and crossed the fields to the barn, which was cast in the pale blue glow of the moon. I didn’t expect interruptions, but it seemed like the best place for a quiet conversation and, perhaps, a moment of intimacy.
I broke out ahead of Kit to tug the door open, then stood aside as he passed into the shadowy building.
“I think your mother may be coming around,” he said as I closed us inside.
The world became dark and so, so quiet. The window in the loft admitted a pane of light that cut through the air, illuminating dust motes drifting steadily downward.
“That’s wonderful,” I replied as I took a step toward him, sliding my hands into his and pressing in until we were chest to chest.
Running into Dawson in town brought back memories of teenage tangles in the hay. I’d be lying to say I hadn’t considered improving on those clumsy endeavors with the man I loved. I could think of no better way to bid farewell to the farm, and no way I’d rather spend the evening.
I pushed up to kiss Kit’s cheek, relishing the scrub of his stubble against my skin. My breath and voice ghosted past his ear as I murmured, “You two will be able to leave things on good terms, then. When we go back home.”
Kit’s body tensed, and his hands tightened around mine. When he pushed me back, I searched his somber expression.
“About that…” His eyes glittered in the dim light as he cast them away. “I think it may be best if you stayed here.”
An exasperated breath whooshed out of me, and my arms dropped to my sides. “Haven’t we had this conversation enough? I wouldn’t leave you. Not for an hour, not for a day, and certainly not for untold months while you’re in danger far away.”
His frown drew harsh lines across his face. “Merrick will try to kill you again. I imagine he’ll be watching for our return and have some nasty surprise for us when we get back.”
“Or for you, if you go alone,” I chimed in.
Kit sighed.
“Then what?” I stepped close again, cradling his face in my hand and catching his skittish gaze. “You languish in prison while I wait here endlessly? Or they kill you, and I still wait here, hoping you’ll return.”
His lips pursed, but he gave no reply.
My heart twinged in my chest. “Kit, that’s tragic.”
And frightful and, frankly, unbearable.
Kit let out another grumbling breath that seemed to fill the silence. Then, he clasped his hand over mine. “It’s absurd,” he said dismissively. “Of course I’ll return. And besides, you’re needed here.”
He gestured to the walls around us and the land sprawling beyond them, and I scoffed.
“For what? Planting is done. All that’s left is tending the fields, and Warren can do that. He enjoys it.”
Shaking me off, Kit grabbed my shoulders and pinned me with a stern look. “I’ll be back in time for the fall harvest,” he said, each word deliberate. “You should be here, enjoying the fruits of your labor and watching your farm thrive. I won’t leave you waiting—”
“You won’t leave me at all,” I interjected. “Not here, not anywhere. You promised, remember?”
Kit stared at me, searching for a crack in my resolve and finding none. At last, he gave a single nod.
I smiled, then dipped in to peck a kiss to his lips. “Good. Now, let’s put this to bed. We’re supposed to be enjoying ourselves.”
Taking his hands once more, I led him deeper into the barn, toward the loft. I scrambled up the ladder, and he tailed behind, joining me on the raised platform bathed in moonlight.
Piles of hay made a soft space to sprawl out, and I dropped to my hands and knees to smooth a spot then beckon Kit closer.
Watching him crawl toward me on all fours stoked the fire in my belly. Thoughts of separating or being left behind filtered to the back of my mind as Kit settled before me, and I set to work ridding him of his shirt.
The night was warm with a pleasant breeze coasting in through the open window. It ruffled Kit’s coal black curls as I began decorating him with kisses. I placed them up both sides of his throat and along the curve of his jaw until he gave himself over to my ministrations.
It had been so long since I’d touched him this way.
The house was too full, and the work left us too tired.
But here we were blissfully alone, free to touch and feel and indulge in the closeness.
Shrugging out of my own shirt, I moved closer, skimming my fingers over his torso and down his arms. He sighed out a breath that I captured with a kiss.
With his head lolled back, and his body exposed to me, I took full advantage.
I straddled his lap, rocking my groin against the stiffness swelling in his trousers while his arms looped around me.
He trapped me against him, our skin flush together, my face buried in the curve of his shoulder, nose in his hair, and hands everywhere.
Kit’s touch was eager, but clinging in a way that impeded my progress. And, when he captured my mouth for another kiss, he didn’t let go until I had hardly a breath in my lungs.
I drew back with a gasp and found his eyes misty and his expression drawn. He chased my retreat, frantic in a way that chilled the heat that had been coursing through my veins. I shifted back to sit on his thighs and rested my palms on his shoulders, smoothing slowly downward in soothing strokes.
I didn’t get the chance to ask what was wrong before he blurted, “You know that I love you.”
My head tipped with an inquisitive frown. “Of course. You say it all the time.”
His hands cupped around my waist, and his thumbs traced the arc of my hip bones. He watched that instead of me as he murmured, “Do I?”
Forget a chill, this made me cold. This sudden distance that had nothing to do with proximity. He had gone somewhere else in his mind, in his heart, somewhere I couldn’t reach.
I gave his biceps a squeeze. “Yes, darling, all the time. And I love you.”
With a fluttering blink, he met my gaze, and tears lined his lower lashes. “All the time?”
“For all time.”
He hummed a contented sound, then made a trail of kisses from my forehead to my lips. His hands roamed lower, grazing across my crotch and rousing my flagging erection. I had more to say, but words escaped me when Kit reached beneath the waistband of my trousers and took me in his hand.
Sighs and soft whines spilled out as I rocked my hips against him, seeking the pleasure he offered.
Relief.
Release.
I checked his face, struggling to focus while sensations overpowered thoughts. He wore a gentle smile, and his eyes were brimming with adoration now instead of tears. Love, and I almost chuckled at the absurd notion that I could ever doubt it.
Sweeping in, I crushed my mouth to his, slipping my tongue inside and drawing out a pleasured sound that made my fine hairs stand on end.
Kit stroked down my length, sweeping his thumb through the moisture beading on my tip.
I groaned and rutted against him again, shimmying to shove my pants down for easier access.
His other hand roamed up my back to splay between my shoulder blades. I was held there, embraced, and I rolled my body languidly, indulging in his firm grip.
“Mmm,” I mumbled against Kit’s mouth. “We should get undressed.”
I reached for the waist of his pants, but he shook me off with a breathy laugh.
“No oil,” he said.
I groaned and slumped. We’d come so far only to find ourselves unprepared and perhaps a little out of practice after weeks without. Glancing around was a futile search for something that could substitute, and I returned to the only lubricant available.
“We could… use spit?” I offered.
Kit frowned. “That hurts, Pen.”
I’d gotten this notion with the idea of improving on the ill-planned romps of my youth. Having been on the receiving end of the absence of oil, I couldn’t disagree with him.
My lower lip puffed in a pout, prompting Kit to bend forward and nip it between his teeth.
“Ow!” I pulled back to watch how the sight of my grin made the moonlight dance in Kit’s eyes. My smile softened, and I leaned into him again. “Just this, then?” I asked, hovering barely an inch from his face, tempting us both with a kiss.
He still had his hand on me, stroking slowly, keeping my heart pounding hard and steady. When I ventured closer, he pulled out of reach.
I whimpered complaint, straining and being denied in a playful tease. Kit rolled the pad of his thumb over my tip, and my eyelids fluttered.
“Why don’t you let me take care of you this time?” he murmured.
It took effort to concentrate with Kit’s every touch sending waves of pleasure through me, but I managed to hold his gaze and protest, “We can both—”
“Penny.” His voice was warm and sweet like honey as he dragged his fingers along my shaft. “Just let me love you, sweetheart.”
My eyes slid closed as I gave myself over to him.
The anticipated kiss came next. Prompting pressure on my mouth eased it open, and I surrendered that, as well.
The darkness behind my closed lids flashed with sparks of bliss.
I touched, and I felt, reveling in the catch of my fingers in Kit’s hair to the glide of his tongue across my lips.
He knew my body better than I did, it seemed. So able to draw out measures of ecstasy. It was everything I wanted it to be, each moment stamping impressions on my heart and mind that I would take with me when we left this place.
In a few days, we would return to Ashpoint to face whatever awaited us. We may have completed the task here in Eastcliff, but we had more work to do and people expecting promised change.
I was ready for that. Eager to finish what we’d started and see it through to the end. But tonight, I would focus on us—on this. I would celebrate what we’d already achieved, the battles won and the burdens laid down.
I would hold close the warmth of Kit’s touch and let myself enjoy the fragile but fierce hope of our future together. The love that we’d sworn for all time.