37. Sage
sage
For the past four weeks, we barely left the cabin unless it was for Christian’s PT or my shift at work. A couple snowstorms blew through, giving us more than an excuse to stay in and fuck.
But the snow was starting to melt and the world was starting to thaw. Though I could’ve easily convinced Christian to fuck me with my vibrator while he fucked my throat instead of going to the farm to work out with Jude and Kale, I knew we both needed to see our friends.
As soon as I saw Lina’s message on the text thread with Lina and Romy, I dropped everything and headed to Thornbrush Ranch.
The day was overcast and cold. A thick fog hung over the late winter landscape as I drove up the gravel road.
It had been eight months since I’d been here and my heart broke seeing Lina and Romy’s faces as they turned to watch me approach.
I parked the Jeep on the side of the road.
Frozen patches of snow revealed the scorched earth underneath.
Black and broken fencelines separated the ranch from the forest of hundreds of acres of charred old growth pines that looked like the bristles of a wire brush.
Guilt twisted my gut. I’d been so consumed with Christian and the incredible sex we were having on every surface area of the cabin, that I hadn’t even checked in on my friends.
I got out of the car, stuffing my hands in my pockets, and walked through the ditch up to the fenceline.
The rumble and crash of construction vehicles in the distance vibrated through the ground.
“Thank you for coming,” Lina said, handing me the bottle of whiskey she was holding by the neck.
“Sorry, I’m late,” I told them, taking a swig from the bottle, welcoming the burn.
Lina brushed off my apology. “We know. You’re overwhelmed with wedded bliss and probably getting fucked halfway to Sunday.”
I huffed a laugh, deciding not to deny it.
“Can’t believe they couldn’t save it.” Romy sighed, shifting eleven-month-old Charli in her arms.
I looked out over the icy, torched earth to where a bulldozer and excavator were breaking down the doublewide. The smoke damage was too severe for them to save it.
“Me neither,” I agreed. “Jude didn’t want to come?”
The doublewide had been his home first. Romy moved in with him once she moved back to Willows two summers ago and while they waited for their own house on the ranch to be built. It had then become Reed and Penn’s before Junior decided to set the ranch on fire.
She shook her head. “He didn’t want to see it get torn down.”
“The guy’s a big softy,” Lina commented. “A little too sentimental if you ask me. Pretty sure he got that from Dad … He didn’t want to come either.”
I tipped the bottle back one more time before handing it back to Lina. “What’s the plan now?”
Lina shrugged, taking a drink from the bottle.
“Jude’s designing a house for Lina and Reed,” Romy commented.
Lina scoffed. “Like Dad or Reed can afford that right now.”
“Insurance isn’t paying for it?” I asked.
She shook her head. “Not enough. Dad’s having to sell off most of the cattle and horses to pay for this year’s property tax.
Fortunately, beef prices are rising, so he’ll be able to cover it, but unfortunately beef prices are rising and there’ll be no way for him to recover the herd at this rate. I’m not sure where we go from here.”
I grimaced, reaching over to grip Lina’s shoulders to comfort her. The ranch wasn’t just her home, it was a part of her. “You know y’all can stay in my apartment as long as you need.”
She leaned her head on my hand where it rested. “Thank you, Sage.” She lifted her eyes to look at me. “Does that mean you’re all moved into Christian’s new place?”
I hesitated, biting the inside of my cheek. How could I tell her everything? Where to even begin?
Lina and Romy were watching me expectantly.
“For now,” I finally said. I didn’t want to make today about me. This was about them and their ranch.
Romy sighed again. “I love my sister and wish she wasn’t in prison, but Chuck didn’t need to pay for that fancy lawyer for Hazel. He could’ve used that money and not have to sell.”
Lina offered her the whiskey. Charli reached out her baby hand to try and grab it before Romy declined and pulled her away.
“Not yet, sweet girl,” I told her, laughing.
“You got good taste though, just like your auntie,” Lina said in a cute baby voice.
“Oh, what the hell? Here.” Romy handed her Charli and took the whiskey, throwing back a shot and wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.
“You know Dad, though. He’s not going to let Hazel just rot in there if he can help her. She’s not meant to be in there,” Lina told her.
“Hazel said the new lawyer is trying to push her parole hearing up sooner?” I asked.
Romy nodded. “But it’s coming at a cost.”
“What do you mean?” I looked between them. They were both frowning now, tears glistening in Lina’s eyes.
Charli laid her head on Lina’s shoulder as if she sensed she needed the comfort.
“There’s a buyer who’s willing to pay double the cost of the land.
We lost over a hundred acres to the fire and they offered to buy it.
We wouldn’t be able to use it for grazing for another few years anyway. ” She swallowed.
“What?” I asked, my voice higher than I meant it.
Lina nodded. “No one in their right mind would pay the cost of this land, let alone double.”
Romy’s eyes were hard as she took another swig. “I’m fucking pissed. They want this.” She tossed her hand out gesturing to the view of the doublewide being torn down, walls collapsed. “But they also want the land all the way up to the bluff. Where our fucking house stands!”
Bile rose in my throat and I tried to swallow. I looked down at my boots, trying not to let them read my face. I knew who this buyer was.
“I can’t believe it,” I whispered.
“Neither fucking can I,” Romy heaved.
My eyes shot up to hers. “He can’t be considering it?”
Rage seemed to waft off Romy. I hadn’t seen her this mad since before she had Charli, back when she first moved to Thornbrush and Jude was trying to win her back.
I’d thought motherhood had softened her, but I was glad to still see some fire there.
It was going to be what they all needed if they were going to fight this.
She took another swig from the bottle. “Believe it or not, Jude’s considering it for him.
Trying to convince him to take it. He thinks our house is a target for Junior, anyway.
And since we still don’t know where he is, he’s gone into full blown special forces protective mode.
With savings from his cage fights, he’s already planning on installing a high-tech security system on our place before we move back in.
He told Chuck that if it would save our family and preserve some of the ranch land, he should do it.
He can always rebuild somewhere else on the property. ”
I shook my head, sick to my stomach. “He can’t do it. Please, whatever you do, convince Chuck not to take that deal.”
Lina’s head swung to me, her eyes large. “Why?”
I gulped, trying again to push the bile back down. “Hand me the whiskey.”
Romy passed me the bottle and I took a fortifying gulp. “If Clayton Creed is the buyer, then he needs to say no. He’s not someone he should do business with.”
Romy approached me, taking my hand and giving it a squeeze. “You know him?”
I shifted my gaze away from her and took another swig. “He’s my ex. I—I think he may be working with Junior too.”
“What?” Romy asked.
At the same time Lina said, “Fuck that piece of shit. I can’t believe this. Dad needs to know.”
But Chuck already knew, because he had the letter and I cautioned him not to trust him.
My eyes bounced between them. He hadn’t shared with either of them about Hazel’s letter. I didn’t know if it was my place to say anything to Lina and Romy. For some reason Chuck had decided to withhold that information. I had a feeling, whatever the reason was, it was between him and Hazel.
“Maybe talk to your dad,” I told her.
Lina’s brows slammed down. “Oh, I will be.” Charli started to squirm and she handed her back to Romy. “Does Kale know?”
“Not yet. I need to talk to him.”
“What about Christian?” Romy asked.
I nodded. “He’s aware who Clayton is.”
“No wonder he hasn’t let you leave his sight with him sniffing around,” Lina commented.
My stomach flipped, my hands tightening on the bottle. I hadn’t seen him around town or come into The Rooster since Christian kicked the shit out of him. “What? He’s back?”
Lina’s brows pinched. “Dad said he was here on the ranch with a surveyor. Told him he was trespassing and he needed to get the fuck off our property. He hasn’t agreed to shit yet.”
“Fuck,” I whispered. Did Christian know?
Was he distracting me with sex, keeping me close, so I wouldn’t run into him?
I hadn’t been to the gallery in two weeks, even though I should be preparing it for the grand opening in a few weeks.
If I had, surely I’d have seen him around.
I still worked my shifts at the bar, but Christian insisted on driving me to and from work, sitting at the bar the whole time.
I handed the bottle back to Lina. Christian was at the farm with the guys, working out, and talking to Chuck about the upcoming rodeo season.
He knew I was coming here alone and he didn’t hesitate to let me go.
Maybe he didn’t know? My eyes darted around us as if I would see him step out of the fog.
I had a feeling he’d be pleased Chuck was clearing the land for him.
The last of the walls came down and Lina threw back the bottle. “He loves you, you know,” she said out of nowhere.
My eyes darted to her. “Wha—Christian?”
She nodded.
My heart rate seemed to settle at the mention of him, like hearing his name was keeping me from the brink of an anxiety attack.
“Yeah, I know.”
“I don’t think you actually planned to marry him,” she said.
“Lina—” I began.
She held out a hand to stop me.
“You don’t need to explain. I don’t think you planned to elope in Vegas.”
“Oh.” That’s what she meant. “No.” It was the truth. I didn’t plan for it. But I don’t think I’d ever planned for it.
“Sometimes things happen when you least expect it.” A soft smile tipped her lips. I knew she was thinking of her and Reed. “We do a very good job of building ice around our hearts when we get hurt, don’t we?” She looked between me and Romy.
Romy returned her smile. “Guilty.”
I shrugged. I didn’t know any other way to be. But I trusted Christian not to hurt me. I just didn’t trust myself not to hurt him. I didn’t know how much I could give him. He wanted me to love him and for me to let him love me.
Truth was though, I was scared. I was falling in love with Christian and it was because of my feelings for him that I wanted to protect him. He deserved better than what I could give him. The last thing I wanted was to hurt him.
Lina wrapped an arm around me, both of us leaning into each other, our heads touching. “Let him love you, Sage,” she whispered. I nodded against her, knowing she was right. “And if he does anything to fuck this up, you know I’ll kill him and Romy will help me bury the body.”
“Absolutely,” Romy agreed.
I laughed, a watery, emotional laugh. My nose stung. A tear silently escaped from the corner of my eye. I wiped it away. “Okay.”
I’d let him love me. And if it meant falling in the process, I’d do my best to mitigate the damage. If it meant melting the ice around my heart to rebuild, just like the walls of the smoke damaged doublewide in front of us, then I’d do it for him.