39. Christian
christian
“Here, son. Can you take these out for me?” Mom asked, handing me the tray of marshmallows, graham crackers, and chocolate.
“Ma, we’re grown ass men. We don’t need s’mores.”
“The girls don’t just want beer,” she said, pushing me toward the door.
I scoffed. “Have you met Lina? I’m pretty sure she brought her own cooler up here.”
She rolled her eyes at me, pushing me again. “Do as you're told.”
I relented, knowing it was best to just follow instructions.
I took the tray, Mom following close behind with her travel mug of red wine, as we joined everyone out at the firepit.
The evening was cold. Our breaths freezing in the air despite the blazing fire.
It had been a long time since we’d all gathered around a fire and I could already tell Lina was on one, her boisterous laughter carrying on the early spring breeze.
My friend was in her element and probably her fourth beer the way her volume rose.
Everyone was here, just like Reed requested.
Romy and Jude were bundled up with Charli in some cute fluffy bear outfit asleep on Jude’s chest. Penn sat on Reed’s lap insisting she stay up as long as the grownups.
Chuck sat beside Dad, bullshitting about some hunting trip Dad was planning with the dogs.
Lina sipped at her beer, teasing Kale about some tail he was recently chasing, telling him that he was never going to settle down with the girls he picked.
Kale brushed it off, of course, saying he was just having fun and not ready to get tied down.
“Maybe next time don’t date the girl who’s giving free BJ’s in the bar bathroom,” Lina laughed.
“What’s a BJ?” Penn asked, always curious.
Reed covered her ears, giving Lina a look.
Lina just shrugged. “Butter and jam.”
“I like to eat butter and jam on my toast,” Penn announced.
“Me too, Penn,” I agreed, setting the tray down on a log by the fire.
“I’m sure you do,” Lina teased, waggling her eyebrows at Sage.
When my eyes met Sage, I nearly laughed.
She was rolling her eyes, but this time she had a smile on her face.
I flopped down on the empty folding chair beside her, Arlo moving to sit at my feet to retrieve his pet.
With my arm around my girl and a hand rubbing my dog’s ear, this was exactly where we were meant to be.
Surrounded by our friends and family, with the loves of our lives, in the place we loved most. There was no better place to be.
My eyes met Reed’s across the fire. I gave him a wink, but he narrowed his gaze. Always the grump. I shrugged, accepting the beer Sage handed to me and took a sip.
Lina sighed, sitting back in her chair. “This is what I needed. Fire, beer, and my people.”
“I know it’s not your bonfire on the ranch,” Mom was saying. “But I hope you know you have a home here as long as you need it.”
“Thank you, Agatha.” Lina raised her beer. Mom raised her wine.
“Hopefully it won’t be too much longer,” Chuck said. “The smoke remediation and repairs are almost complete. We’re hoping to be back by July. Couldn’t have gotten through this without our friends.” Chuck raised his beer to Dad and Mom.
“Glad we were able to help,” Dad confirmed.
“Maybe by next summer, we’ll have to have y’all back to the ranch,” Jude offered.
“Especially if we’re going to have another wedding,” Reed piped up.
Everyone quieted. I pinched my lips shut to keep from smiling and shouting. Sage looked from Lina, to Reed, to me, and back to Reed, her eyes wide. I just shrugged pretending I knew nothing.
Lina was oblivious, sipping on her beer and staring into the fire, while Reed got up, sitting Penn in his chair. He lowered himself to one knee.
She sputtered, her beer going everywhere. “Shit.” She wiped at her pants where she splattered beer, then looked at Reed in front of her. “What are you doing?”
“Lina,” he began, reaching to take a box out of his pocket.
Sage released a little squeal before clamping her mouth shut and Romy had her hand covering her mouth. Chuck was leaning forward in his chair, his hands clasped expectantly while he watched his daughter. My own heart squeezed seeing everyone share in this moment.
Tears welled in Lina’s eyes. “Oh my God,” she said, biting her lip.
Reed opened the box, a simple round diamond ring inside.
“It’s been you from the very beginning, sweetheart.
My light in the darkness. I couldn’t imagine spending my life …
” He looked at his daughter who was bouncing up and down in her seat.
“Our life without you.” Unable to stay still, Penn bounded from her seat to sit on her dad’s knee so she was included in this.
With an arm around his daughter, he asked, “Will you make me the happiest man in the world and marry me?”
“And me!” Penn piped up.
We all let out watery laughs.
Lina dropped to her knees from her chair, scooping them both up in her arms. “Yes,” she cried into Reed’s chest. She pulled back to look at them both, dropping a kiss to Penn’s head, and then grabbing Reed’s face to lay one on him. “Fuck yes, I’ll marry you,” she whispered against his lips.
Reed wrapped his arms around his girls, his own emotion rumbling his back, before helping them all to their feet and putting the ring on Lina’s finger.
Everyone cheered and hollered. Arlo, who even sensed the excitement, wagged his tail and went from person to person to join in.
I gripped Sage to my side, kissing her temple, feeling the heat of her in my arms, and seeing her own ring glittering in the firelight.
This felt right. We were all where we were meant to be.
Breaking from their embrace, we all approached to offer congratulations. Chuck insisted he hug his daughter before anyone else. Lina cried into his chest while he told her how proud of her he was and gave Reed a fatherly pat on the back, before we all got in our own hugs and handshakes.
The rest of the night we sat around the fire, Mom pushing s’mores on everyone — to Penn’s excitement — and more beers being cracked. Sage moved to sit beside Lina and Romy, the girls admiring Lina’s ring and already planning a bachelorette party.
“I don’t like the guy, but I feel like I have to consider it,” Chuck was saying, prickling my ears as he spoke with Dad.
I continued to sip my beer as I eavesdropped.
“I need to get my family back on our ranch and with the damage done and the loss of income, it may take years to recover. As it is, property taxes are past due and I don’t have the funds to pay my last two installments.
I have to sell a hundred head of cattle and some of the horses to cover it. ”
“You know I’d help if I could,” Dad told him.
Chuck nodded, gripping Dad’s shoulder. “I know. You and Agatha have already done so much to help. He’s a rancher, a businessman, and a respected member of his tribe.
” At that my eyes darted to Sage. She had already picked up what Chuck was saying.
Her face was stoic in the flicker of the fire, covering up any semblance of emotion.
“He’s not interested in developing the land.
He wants to preserve it. I feel obligated to at least hear him out. ”
Sage’s eyes met mine. Arlo must have sensed her discomfort, because he rubbed against her calves before settling at her feet. She absentmindedly gave him a pet. She wasn’t joining in the conversation with Lina and Romy anymore. No one else may have noticed, but she was withdrawing.
“Come on, Arlo,” she said, getting up from her seat. “Um, I’m not feeling very well.” She excused herself.
“Are you okay?” Lina asked, her brow pinched with concern.
Sage suffered a smile to assure her. “I’ll be fine. See you both later.” She hugged Lina and Romy, before her eyes flicked back to mine.
“I should probably go,” I announced, getting up to follow Sage.
“See ya, man,” Jude said as everyone waved their goodbyes.
Sage was already halfway to her Jeep when I caught up to her. “I’ll follow in my truck.”
She only nodded, her hand going to her driver’s side handle to open it.
“Hey.” I reached out to her. “It’s going to be okay.”
Her eyes slowly raised to mine. “Did you know Clayton was back in town?”
“No.” I shook my head. “I had no idea Chuck was still talking with him.”
She gnawed at her lip, nodding. “Lina and Romy mentioned it when I met them earlier at the ranch.”
“Did you tell them about Clayton?”
She gulped. “I cautioned them. They know he’s my ex. I told them they need to convince Chuck not to take this deal, but apparently Jude wants him to consider it. He thinks it would be better for his family if they were no longer a target for Junior.”
“But Junior may have something to do with this …” I added, following her train of thought.
She nodded sadly.
“We’ll figure something out. I’ll talk with Jude.”
“No,” she said abruptly, shaking her head. “It’s not your place. I’m going to need to tell them, but I’m going to need to talk to my brother first. But it scares the shit out of me. Especially if Clayton is here.”
“Yeah, I don’t think Kale will just let him leave town quietly when he finds out.” Knowing my friend, when Kale’s rage was triggered, he could be dangerous — and reckless.
“I just want to go home,” Sage said, opening her car door.
I leaned in, dropping a kiss to her forehead. “Okay. Let’s go home. We’ll figure this all out tomorrow.”
I’m almost always the first one to wake up, ready to start the day. While I usually made coffee, I left Sage to rise slowly. Working so many late nights at the bar would make anyone not like mornings.
But waking up for the first time alone immediately made me shoot up and stumble out of bed, worried. I knew she was upset last night, tossing and turning most of the night, until she decided I needed to go down on her until she passed out.
“Sage?” I called, heading out to the living room and kitchen area.
She was sitting at the table, staring into her coffee mug. She was already dressed for the day, in overalls and a thermal, her hair piled into her usual messy bun. Her eyes flicked up to me, sad, and I immediately felt my stomach drop.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, coming to sit across from her at the table.
She spun the rings on her finger, sliding them off and setting them in front of me. My heart dropped and nausea washed over me. “Don’t,” I told her, refusing to touch them.
“I’ve tried for years to hide from my past, to push it behind me.
I’m even trying to cover up my scars so I don’t have to look at them and be reminded.
” She closed her eyes, her throat bobbing on a swallow, before they fluttered back up to me.
“I obviously can’t run from it anymore, because it finds me anyway.
I even let myself hide behind you, Christian. ” She gestured to the rings.
“But I wanted you to,” I argued. “It was my idea.”
Tears gathered at her lashes. “You deserve better than this. For this to be done right. I can’t let you fight my battles for me. It’s not healthy and I’m not going to let our relationship begin this way. You deserve better and so do I.”
“Sage, please. I told you last night we’d figure this out and I meant it.” My heart pounded in my ears as panic started to rise. “We’d figure it out together.”
A silent tear escaped her eye and it was like a knife stabbing me in the gut and twisting.
“If you love me like you say you do, you’ll let me do this on my own even though it scares the shit out of me.
I need to tell them everything if I’m going to make sure Clayton doesn’t get his hands on the ranch.
And if my suspicions are correct, this will ensure Junior also doesn’t get what he wants. ”
“Let me go with you while you do this,” I pleaded.
She swiped at her tears. “This is something I have to do for my own healing. I need to tell my brother first and I think I owe it to him to have a one-on-one conversation about this. I’ve kept this from him for too long.”
I felt myself nod even though I felt desperate to keep her here. “Tell me what I can do.”
She reached out, squeezing my hand lightly, before picking up the rings again. “Keep these safe for me?” I held out my palm to take them. “And once I’m done talking with my brother, he may need a friend.”
“Of course. Anything, Sage. I’ll do anything you need me to do.”
She gave me a watery smile. “I know you will. That’s also why I want you to hold on to the rings. I want us to do things right. I want us to have a real proposal and a real wedding. Not one that started out of necessity.”
Getting up, she reached for me, wrapping her arms around my shoulders. “You’re so brave.” Much braver than I was. I breathed in her sweet peach scent and absorbed the feeling of her safe, in my arms. “We’ll do this right then,” I told her.
She inhaled a steadying breath and nodded against my shoulder. “I’m going to the gallery for a while, then reach out to my brother.”
I spread my hands over her, wanting to feel as much surface area as I could. I pressed my lips to her temple, feeling the soft brush of her hair. It was killing me to let her go without me. “Will you text me when you get there, so I know you’re safe?”
She pulled away then, nodding as she continued to wipe her tears. “I’ll text you.”
“Will you take Arlo with you? I’d feel better if you had him.”
She smiled through unshed tears. “Yeah, I’ll take him with me.”
I walked her to the door, standing with her while she pulled on her boots and a jacket. “Car ride,” she called, Arlo immediately coming to our side, his tail thumping while Sage grabbed his leash.
“See ya, buddy,” I told Arlo, scratching him behind the ear.
Sage paused, placing her palm on my cheek. Her thumb rubbing against my stubble, leaning in to brush her lips against mine. I closed my eyes wanting to savor her touch. “I love you, rodeo star.”
I wanted to beg her to let me come with her, to insist she didn’t have to do this alone.
But at the last moment, as the door opened, the morning light filtered in, catching the light in her eyes and making starbursts blaze.
It was the reminder I needed. Her quiet inner flame.
She could do this and I could let her. I had to trust her; she knew what she needed to heal, to find closure, so we could truly start our life together.
As she walked to her Jeep, Arlo bounding at her heels, excited for his car ride, I raised my hand in farewell. She opened the door, Arlo hopping inside, while she got up in her seat.
“I love you, Sage Pardy!” I yelled at the top of my lungs, not caring if I disturbed the wildlife.
Through the window shield she smiled at me, her shoulders shaking in a quiet laugh.
And just as she was about to back out of the driveway, rain started falling in slow, steady drops.