Chapter 5
LAUREN
“F reaking Sully,” Tori fumed when I called for the second time that evening about the botched booking. “What am I going to do with that girl?”
Sully, short for Sullivan, was a sweet young woman from Savannah and a recent hire who didn’t have the attention to detail necessary for a fast-paced administrative job. If we wanted to avoid firing her, Tori needed to find something else for her to do at the company.
My sister’s anger soothed my own. “I keep telling you it’s fine. This place isn’t bad. It’s just kind of…empty.”
“Like Psycho empty?” Her voice had gone up an octave, and I knew she was freaking out.
“No, like the ranch has seen better days kind of empty. It’s actually got a lot of charm though, and the landscape here is absolutely gorgeous. I’ve never seen so much blue sky in my life. The downside is that the facilities are a bit rundown and the staff is limited, from what I can tell.”
She clearly wasn’t listening to me. “I’m going to call the resort in Montana right now and reserve you a room there, and then we’ll figure out your flights. If they’re full, we’ll find you a different resort to stay at. You should be relaxing and pampering yourself.”
“I told the owner I’d stay at least a few days,” I said. “Let me see how it goes, and I’ll update you, okay?”
“How about I reserve a room and then, if you don’t want it, I’ll cancel?”
I sighed, knowing two things were true—I’d never win this argument, and she had a point. “Fine, make a reservation for me.”
“So what’s the deal with this ranch owner who convinced you to stay? A grown son running a vacant hotel in the middle of nowhere sounds very Psycho to me.” Her wild imagination always cracked me up.
“There are other guests here, and Matthew has a cute daughter and seems totally normal. I really don’t get serial killer vibes from him. Also, I can’t face packing and traveling again, so it’s better if I stay put for a little while.”
“How old is this Matthew guy?” Oh no, I’d piqued her interest. The matchmaker in my sister smelled testosterone, and that wasn’t good.
“Probably around our age. I’m not sure.”
“Is he attractive?” I knew why she was asking this question. Did his gorgeous blue eyes and perfect forearms have anything to do with why I agreed to stay at the ranch? Possibly, but I would never admit it.
“He’s attractive, but I’m not interested in him that way.” I was such a liar. “My life is complicated enough right now. I don’t need to add sex with a ranch owner to it. Besides, it wouldn’t be fair involving someone else in my drama. What if the press found out?”
“Oh, please. You’re in Bumblefuck, Wyoming. No one is ever going to find out about what happens there.”
For some reason, I resented her flippant assessment of this place. “It’s actually magnificent out here. The air is so clean and fresh. It’s delightful, really.”
She paused before responding. “You sound so much calmer. No panic attacks on the flight or afterwards?”
“Not one.” The panic attacks, which were a wave of impending doom that knocked me to my knees, had begun long before Freddy’s full frontal moment at the party.
My doctor thought they were a combination of work and personal stress, and he prescribed anxiety medication as a cure.
They didn’t happen as often now, but one occasionally hit, and I had to breathe and visualize my way through them.
“Thank God. I’ve been really worried about you, honey.”
“I know.” Her sisterly concern put a lump in my throat. “I’m sorry for making you worry. I should never have kept the marriage charade going for so long.”
“Don’t you dare apologize to me. You did nothing wrong, and we all know that. Freddy is the only villain in this story, and karma will get him, eventually. I hesitate to tell you this, but Joyce called me this morning. Do you want to hear what she said?”
Our agent, Joyce Cohen, negotiated all our deals pertaining to the show, and Tori was probably about to tell me that my marital drama had shot our chances at selling the rights to Ms. Match to a streaming service. This nightmare would never end.
“Hit me with it. I’m lying down right now so this is a good time in case I faint.”
“Stop catastrophizing. This is good news. Direct Play isn’t the only company vying for the syndication rights for our show. Two other streaming services have come forward with offers, and there’s a freaking bidding war going on!”
My heart rate sped up. “Are you kidding me?”
“Nope. It’s happening.” She bubbled over with excitement. “This whole Freddy situation has been horrible for you personally, but it’s also bringing new viewers to Ms. Match , and our value has skyrocketed. Sorry, I don’t mean to sound so happy about profiting from your heartache.”
“Hell, something good should come out of it. I just can’t believe it.” Although I shouldn’t have been surprised. Drama sold.
“I know,” she said. “Thank goodness I pushed for executive producer credits for both of us, or we would have gotten hosed in all of this. The numbers they’re talking, Lolo…it’s a lot.” She told me the amount, and my jaw dropped.
She continued talking as my brain tried to catch up with what she was telling me. We were already living a lifestyle I never even dreamed of as a kid, but this kind of money was way beyond that. This was serious syndication money.
“If you’re cool with it,” she said, “Joyce will negotiate the best deal she can get us and then, once we approve it, she’ll send the contracts over to our lawyers. It’s going to move quickly.”
“Of course, go for it.” I looked around my little cabin, wondering what Ms. Match viewers would think of me now, huddled under a Pendleton blanket and thumbing through a magazine called Fly Fisherman while eating airport snacks.
Not exactly the glamorous life one would expect of someone about to earn millions on a syndication deal.
“Thank you for taking care of all this. I feel guilty that I’m here when this deal is going down in New York. ”
“Stop. I don’t mind at all. There’s a couple more important things to think about before we sign onto this though. If you do the deal before you finalize your divorce, this becomes a marital asset. You’d have to split it with Freddy.”
“Oh, hell no!” This man had taken enough from me already. He wasn’t getting my syndication money too. “That’s not happening.”
“Exactly. Which is why you need to get your divorce papers moving and get Freddy to sign them ASAP. I told Joyce that the deal needs to be kept completely quiet in the press because we can’t have Freddy finding out about it and using it as leverage in the divorce.”
“Damn it.” The thought of giving him one more dime made me sick to my stomach. “I’ll talk to my lawyer again and see where we’re at with the settlement.”
“Good. Put it on the fast track. Here’s the other thing that worries me. As much as we’d both profit from this deal, you know what it means if people watch all the old episodes.”
Of course I did. “It’s going to turn into a game of Where’s Waldo with everyone looking for Freddy.”
Tori was the star of the show, but viewers liked seeing me, her twin sister, interacting with her.
Freddy only appeared in a handful of episodes across five seasons, always because I’d paid him to film with us, but those few appearances would now be gold.
Who knew what viewers would extrapolate from seeing Freddy and me on screen together?
Streaming our show in its entirety would certainly keep my personal drama alive in the press and on social media.
“Just remember,” Tori said, “this kind of money would make it easier to keep your private life private from now on. That kind of insulation from the world doesn’t come cheap.”
“Plus, I have to pay for this divorce.” Bitterness crept into my tone.
“He’s going to get half of what we have, and I’ll probably have to pay him alimony, too.
We’re going to ask him to take a lump sum instead.
I really want to walk away from this marriage and never have to deal with Freddy again. Ever.”
“I don’t know how realistic that is,” she said gently. “Graduations, weddings, grandkids—Serge and Julien will keep you and Freddy in each other’s lives.”
“I hate that, but you’re right.” We’d worked so hard to make sure our marital issues didn’t affect the children, and it was hard to admit that my maneuvering resulted in more pain and embarrassment than if I’d divorced Freddy years ago.
“Julien called me today,” she said, “and from the way he was talking, he wants nothing to do with Freddy ever again. He said you told him to forgive his dad for hooking up with a bartender at a public event, which means you’re a better woman than I am.”
Serge and Julien both knew Freddy and I had privately separated, and Serge seemed to believe that Freddy’s “mistake” at Jentori was an embarrassing error in judgment but not a betrayal of me. Julien, my fiercely loyal rule follower, saw it differently.
“My higher self prevailed,” I said with a sigh. “I don’t want him to hate his dad for my sake.”
“You’re a seriously good human. I’ll hate Freddy forever, though, and you’ll never convince me otherwise.
If I could have him permanently exiled from the United States, I would.
Hell, if I could make him disappear completely, that would even be better, but I can’t go to jail, Lolo.
I need my gel nails and weekly blowouts. ”
I laughed, but I knew she was only half kidding. “I can’t believe I’m at the wrong ranch.”
She clicked her tongue. “I know, right? This is something that would happen to me, not you.”
It was true. Normally, I over-planned everything so that my copious lists had sub-lists.
As a finance person, I rarely left anything to chance, and I’d surprised myself by not being more upset about Sully’s error.
Maybe being publicly humiliated had broken something inside of me.
I wasn’t even completely sure what clothing I’d packed in my bag until I put everything away in the cabin’s closet and dresser.
“My mind hasn’t been razor sharp lately.
I keep thinking about what happened that night.
” I pinched the bridge of my nose and squeezed my eyes shut.
“She had her hands in his pants, Tori. What was he thinking? We were all right on the other side of that curtain. Is he some kind of adrenaline junkie? I know people have sex in public places, but that was just so…”
“Stupid,” she finished for me. “It was stupid. He was thinking with his dick, and he’s probably in a midlife crisis. I know it seems like life won’t get better, honey, but it will. This too shall pass, as Mom says.”
“I know. I need to think about other things and not dwell on the past.” Easier said than done. “Hey, apparently, there are cows on this ranch who might join me on my hikes.”
“Good God, we need to get you out of there. Do cows attack humans?”
“Pretty sure they’re peaceful creatures. At least I hope so.” I shook a handful of trail mix from the bag into my hand. “Someday we’re going to look back on all of this and laugh. Right now I want to cry.”
“Don’t cry,” she said. “Or do if it makes you feel better. I’m going to chew out Sully and make that reservation, just in case.”
“Thanks, sis.”
“No problem. I love you. And send me a picture of this Matthew guy when you get a chance. I need an image in my mind.”
How did she realize he was hot when I hadn’t confirmed it? Twin sister second sense was the only explanation.
“Fine, I’ll try to get one when he’s not looking. That won’t be weird at all.”
I’d have to find Matthew in the morning anyway.
If I planned to hike, I was going to need something other than sandals to wear.
There had to be a store somewhere in the area.
Every time I thought about that wrangler telling Matthew to give me the “deluxe ranch experience,” I laughed.
It was only funny because Matthew had sounded so horrified by the idea of tricking me.
My gut was right about him being an honest person.
If only I’d gone with my gut in those days leading up to my wedding and not married Freddy.
By the time I’d realized he might not be a man of integrity, we’d already invited three hundred of our closest friends and family to attend our nuptials at his cousin’s villa in Provence.
Canceling a destination wedding felt catastrophic at the time, and I convinced myself that his flirtatiousness and self-centered behavior would get better.
Not so much.
“Get those divorce papers signed,” she said. “I don’t care if you have to offer him more now. You’re going to do so well in this syndication deal that you can afford to pay him a little extra to get this thing over with. Remember that.”
We hung up the phone, and I knew I should feel euphoric about the syndication deal.
Money brought independence, and this was the culmination of many years of hard work.
Except…sometimes it seemed like my professional life was the only place where I was winning.
Yes, I had two wonderful kids, I couldn’t forget about that, but they were both grown up and didn’t need me much anymore.
My siblings were both in serious relationships, and I’d let a lot of my friendships fizzle out.
My apartment was quiet in the evenings, and for the first time in my adult life, I was lonely.
Did I want a romantic relationship? A new career challenge?
A trip on one of those cruise ships that sails around the world?
I wasn’t exactly sure, but something had become clear in my mind on that beautiful drive to the ranch.
There had to be another adventure in store for the second half of my life, and I was going to find it.