Chapter 19
LAUREN
W hen I got out of bed the next morning, I felt like I was gliding around wearing a movie star’s glow, all shimmery and youthful.
I grinned at myself in the mirror, as if this new Lauren and I had a secret.
Freddy had left the ranch, and Matthew and I had taken our relationship to a new and truly satisfying level.
Was there a better way to begin a day than this?
My encounter with Matthew in my cabin felt like the equivalent of tectonic plates shifting.
I didn’t know if I could open myself up emotionally to receiving pleasure anymore, or if it was even worth the effort, not to mention the risks.
It had been so damn long since a man had touched me intimately that I had no idea if I could have the kind of mind-melting orgasms that other women raved about.
Not only did I know now that it could happen, I needed it to happen again.
And again. And again! There would be no going back to a celibate life.
No more ignoring my sensuality and physical needs.
Matthew had opened that door for me, and I wasn’t closing it again.
When I saw my lawyer’s name on my phone, even that intrusion of reality couldn’t diminish my happiness. I answered with a cheerful trill to my voice. “Hi Tempest! What’s going on?”
“Freddy’s lawyer contacted me late last night, but I just saw the message now.” She clicked her tongue in irritation. “He always does that, like it’s his power move to work later than I did. Such a dick.”
I looked at the clock and realized she was calling me at a little after six in the morning New York time. “You must have just woken up.”
“Exactly. I’m still in bed, but I wanted to let you know that Freddy has scheduled an interview with Celebrity to discuss your separation and divorce. Of course, his lawyer implied that the interview could be canceled, which means we need to agree to their terms.”
I’d expected this from him, and I had a few ideas about how we could deal with it. “Doesn’t our separation agreement prevent him from speaking publicly about our marital arrangement?”
“It did, but, technically speaking, he can talk about it now.” I hated when she used the word technically because it always meant I was about to get screwed over.
“It’s complicated, but in a layperson’s terms, your publicist voided that provision when she spoke with the press about the night at Jentori. ”
“But isn’t this blackmail?” I pressed a hand to my chest, where the panic was starting to swell inside of me. “He’s forcing us to give him part of the business in return for not outing me to the press!”
“It might fit the legal definition of blackmail,” she said, “but if he gives the interview, the damage is already done. I think he’s going to pull the trigger even if we threaten to sue him for blackmail.
I can look into it, if you’d like. That’s not my area, but I can talk to a colleague in my firm. ”
The last thing I wanted was to get tied up in a longer legal battle with Freddy. “So either I give in to his heinous demands and hand over part of my company, or I let him tank my reputation and, by association, my sister’s reputation. It’s a lose-lose proposition.”
“There’s one thing you could do,” she said, “and that’s beat him to the punch.”
I knew exactly what she meant. “No, I’m not talking to the press.”
Tempest acted like she hadn’t even heard me.
“You could be the first one to break the story. Celebrity magazine would love to have you and Tori on the cover. Tell them what happened from your point of view, and then he won’t even be able to sell his side.
You will effectively take out the only leverage he has right now. ”
Exposing my life to the tabloids didn’t feel like a win.
“I can’t do that,” I said again. “My sons would be humiliated. Our company could lose clients and the syndication deal.”
“Then you’re right, you have two poor options,” she said bluntly. “Pick the one you can live with. But if you want my opinion, you’re assuming a lot. People might sympathize with you more than you think.”
Tempest might have sounded harsh to someone else, but I’d known her a long time and understood that this was just her way.
She was a straight shooter, which was why I hired her and why I liked having her as a friend.
I didn’t need someone blowing smoke up my butt.
I needed to be surrounded by people who were honest and direct, and who had my best interests at heart.
“Give me a few more days,” I said. “I need to talk to Tori, and then I’ll come to a final decision.”
That call would have to wait a little while though, because I was going on a date.
* * *
Gigi was home with Kyra, Freddy was out of my hair for the moment, and I was going out with a man for the first time in many years.
It felt surreal and weirdly wonderful to be driving to downtown Three Rivers in a pickup truck on a Friday night.
I had on my cowboy boots, blue jeans and a white blouse because Matthew said we were going somewhere casual.
He’d also told me to make sure I brought my bathing suit, which made me curious.
“You’re not going to make me jump into a pond at night, are you?” I asked. “You know my fear of critters.”
“Don’t worry,” he said. “No ponds or swamps.”
“Good.” I took in a deep breath of sweet, crisp summer air. “Seventy-two degrees and low humidity. You have the perfect evenings here.”
“You’ll have to come back every summer then.”
I tilted my head and smiled at him. “I just might.”
Why did I feel so much lighter when I had the same problems as yesterday? Somehow, being with Matthew made me think about future possibilities instead of limitations.
“You look beautiful tonight,” he said. “I like you in those boots.”
“Thank you. They’re breaking in perfectly.”
He reached over and took my hand, running his thumb over my knuckles. “Chef Damon hasn’t made his molten chocolate cake since you’ve been here, has he? I’ll have to ask him to put it on the menu because you’d love it.”
“How’s he doing?” I asked.
There was a flicker of tension in Matthew’s jaw. “He’s still a temperamental pain in the ass, but he’s not drinking at the moment.”
“I know he’s a great chef, but I can’t help wondering why you keep him on staff if he’s so unreliable? There has to be someone out there who could replace him, even if they’re not quite at his level.”
He sighed and waited to make the turn onto the road into town before he answered me.
“After seventeen years of sobriety, he went through a personal trauma, losing his wife and son in a car accident. That’s when he went back to the booze.
When I hired him, he was trying to get soberagain, but it’s been a challenge.
I guess I feel for the guy, and I’m hoping he’ll work his way through his grief.
Then maybe then he can stay sober for good. ”
Matthew treated the people who worked for him like family, not just employees.
We tried to do the same at Ms. Match, but if I’d had an employee with an issue like Chef Damon’s, I probably wouldn’t have given him as many chances.
Matthew was possibly loyal to a fault, but I admired the way he didn’t give up on people.
His phone buzzed on the seat between us.
“Would you mind reading me that text?” he asked.
A man who had nothing to hide and would let me read his messages? That was definitely new and different romantic terrain for me.
“Oh no,” I said after tapping the message. “Kyra has to leave by eleven tonight. Her mom has to work the midnight shift so she has to go home and babysit her siblings.”
“Darn it, I’m sorry.” Matthew glanced over at me, the disappointment in his eyes mirroring my own.
“It’s alright,” I said. “She said we should still go out and enjoy ourselves. We just have to get you home before you turn into a pumpkin.”
“Cinderella joke, huh?” he smiled at me.
“I’m the princess who’s sweeping you off your feet and taking you out for the night. You work too hard and deserve a break. I’ve been excited about this all day.”
“Me too. I’ve been so distracted that I poured coffee creamer in my oatmeal this morning and wore my shirt inside out.”
I laughed and squeezed his hand. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“What are we going to do about this?” His tone was playful, but the mood in the truck felt heavier. “You’re leaving the ranch soon and going hundreds of miles away from me. I’m going to miss you.”
“Maybe we could visit each other?” I suggested tentatively, unsure if he was serious about wanting to continue our relationship after I left the ranch. “If you’d be willing to come to New York, I’d love to show you around.”
“I’d like that,” he said. “I’m not really sure what my plans are this winter, but I could try to arrange a visit to New York.”
“It’s okay if you can’t,” I said quickly. “I know you have Gigi to visit and the ranch to look after. You’re a busy guy.” Just because he was going to miss me didn’t mean he wanted to fly across the country to see me. I felt silly for suggesting it.
“Hey.” He waited until I looked over at him. “It’s not that I don’t want to visit you. I’d love to come to New York, if I can. If not, I’d love to call and write you letters.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Letters?”
He laughed, looking sheepish. “Is letter writing dead? I don’t know. There’s something about a letter that feels more special than an email.”
“You can make me a mixed tape, too,” I teased.
“Got it. Mixed tapes and letter writing. Totally old school.”
We were pulling into the parking lot of The Eternal Springs Spa, and to my dismay, it didn’t look very impressive.
“Is this where we’re swimming?” I asked as we got out of the Suburban.
“You should have seen this place before my friend Luke Daltry purchased it,” he said. “I wish I could renovate Silver Sage the way he fixed up this place. He ripped down and redesigned the deck and put in a cold plunge pool and saunas. It’s pretty amazing.”