7. Chapter 7
Rhett
My molars grind as I watch Aspen walk out of the bar with Cameron. What a stupid name. I realize I’m being completely childish, but this is awful. I hate I put us in this position. More than that, I hate I had to do it to protect her.
When she told me she wanted more, I knew that it was the end. That my time with her had run out. I knew it was going to happen eventually, but it doesn’t stop the unsettling feeling or the ache in my chest.
I meant it entirely when I threatened him; that girl deserves the world. Even if I’m not the one who’s going to give it to her, I’m going to make sure she gets it.
No longer in the mood to be sitting around drinking and hanging out, I stand. “All right boys, I’m gonna head out. I’ll see you tomorrow for dinner.”
“We’ve only been here for what, like an hour max?” Weston says with his face pinched.
“Yeah man, come on. It’s my last night out for months,” Maverick says, clearly missing the reason for my sudden mood change.
“You said that three weeks ago. I’m just a little tired tonight, sorry, boys.
I’ll make it up to you next time.” I slap Weston on the back.
In reality, seeing Aspen with someone else has left me with an ache in my chest. It’s been a few weeks since that night in front of her parents, but it hurts just as bad now as it did then.
I walk to the truck on autopilot, my mind completely at war with itself.
Maybe I should have just told her the truth and let her decide.
But then I would be burdening her with my problems and I can’t ask her to carry that weight.
She’s happiness personified and the last thing I ever want to do is dull her shine.
I open the rickety truck door and hop inside, glad I only had a single beer and could make my escape. It took everything inside me to watch her walk out that door with Cameron and not act like a complete caveman, throw her over my shoulder, and take her home with me.
She can be with whoever she wants as long as it makes her happy, but a fucking city boy? He was wearing slacks for Christ's sake. I don’t even own a pair of slacks. He’s all wrong for her. We’ve had a city boy at her family table once and he didn’t last more than a weekend.
This was always how it was going to end.
Eventually she was going to want to settle down and fall in love, and I was going to have a front-row seat with a broken heart.
She deserves a future with someone, and I can’t give her that.
It eats me up until my heart feels raw every time I imagine her with someone else.
Only now, it’s not imaginative; it’s my living hell.
So with that, I put the key in the ignition and make my way home, where I’ll be met with silence, her lingering scent on my pillow, and pray the memories will be enough to keep me company.
When I walk into the Taylors’ house for our weekly family dinner, my eyes immediately scan the room looking for Aspen. Not talking to her every day like I’m used to is driving me crazy. I have no idea what she’s up to. I have no idea how that date went.
“Hey honey, glad you’re here. Can you go down and help Jack out? He got a new door for one of the horse stalls and needs help getting it in. He said he can do it himself, but the last thing I need is him throwing his back out,” Mabel says as she walks into the kitchen from the living room.
“Yeah, of course.”
I turn back and walk to the barn, hearing a grunting sound. I know that stubborn old man is trying to do it himself anyway.
I hurry my steps and get into the barn and out to the stable area. “Didn’t your wife tell you to wait for help?”
He looks up to me, his gray hair getting in his eyes, and grins. “I do a lot of things she tells me not to do, usually doesn’t end well, but every now and then I get to prove her wrong and I live for that.”
“Well, how about we find something else to prove her wrong with before you herniate your damn back.”
“I miss the days when I told you all what to do, simpler times.” He looks off as if getting lost in a memory.
“Yeah, I bet you do. Here, I’ll hold up the panel while you get the bolts in.”
“Fine.” He scoffs.
It takes us a few minutes and multiple tries, but we manage to install the door. I wonder how the hell he thought he would do this on his own. The door is heavy as fuck, it even has me breaking a sweat in the cold.
We take a step back and admire our work. “You got any more?” I ask.
“Not yet, I wanted to make sure I liked them before I ordered the last three.” He messes with the door, making sure it swings on its hinges right. “Alright, seems good. Let's get the horse back in here. I’ll throw in some extra hay since she had to stand out in the cold.”
I shake my head; this big bad cowboy has a soft spot for these gentle beasts. I don’t think there is a single horse in all of Wyoming that is treated better than the ones in his care.
The horse gets back in its stall, and we start walking up to the house.
“Oh shoot, I forgot my hat. I’ll meet you inside,” Jack says as he turns on his heels.
Aspen spies me and waves. I hustle my steps to make it to her before she gets in the house.
“Hey.” It feels weird to talk with her like this.
“Hey yourself.”
“How was your date?” I blurt out. Well, fuck. That’s not exactly how I pictured asking.
“Really good, especially after you threatened him with bodily harm. Really helped him warm up to the small town charm,” she says sarcastically. I can’t tell if she’s joking or a little bit mad.
“Well, I just wanted him to know you have people looking out for you.” I try to stand tall when really I feel like a dog with his tail between his legs. Her brow furrows and her nose does that cute little flare thing that happens when she’s angry.
“Yeah, for future reference, I don’t need my ex fuck buddy threatening my dates. It’s fine that you don’t want to date me, but you don’t get to try and scare away those who do.” The fire in her gaze both terrifies me and turns me on.
Well, that clears up the question I had: if she is mad, she is. Rightfully so.
I shake my head as I feel my brows pinch together in exasperation. “Aspen, it’s not like that.”
“It is, actually. If you want to be my friend, then you need to be supportive of me.” She shakes her head and looks away, as if lost in thought.
“I get it. I’m sorry,” I say, meaning every word.
I’m sorry for so much more than threatening her date.
I’m sorry I can’t be the one to make her happy even though it’s the thing I want the most. I’m sorry I can’t stand the thought of her being with someone else, even though I chose this.
But most of all, I’m sorry this is making her think it’s me not wanting her, because I want her like I want my next breath.
“It’s fine, let’s go inside, I’m cold and feel like shit.” She keeps her head down as she moves inside and I fight the urge to place my hand on her lower back and guide her up the steps.
“Well, let's hurry then.” I hope that she will look at me, so I can see her smile and this bone-crushing guilt I have can be eased, but she doesn’t, and I hate myself for it.
We step inside, and I help her remove her coat, the only bit of touch I am going to get from her from now on.
“How did the door go?” Mabel asks just as Jack steps in behind us.
“You didn’t have to send him out to help, I could have gotten it,” Jack says.
“Sure you could, sweetie.” She walks up and pats his cheek. “Now help me bring this to the table.”
“You all are a bossy lot, tonight,” Jack remarks as he hangs up his coat and his hat on the stand next to the door.
Their banter makes me laugh and forget for a second.
I take a deep breath in and try to focus on the things I do have.
I still have Aspen as a friend, as long as I don’t fuck that up.
And I have this family. Which I much prefer over my biological one.
This house is filled with some of the hardest working, most genuine people on the planet.
I think about that as I sit down at the table, and I try to forget about the way I feel about the girl next to me. Maybe in another life, I’ll get to love her.