19. Chapter 19
Rhett
My eyes blink open and I try to remember the last time I felt this rested. Or good. When my wits come about me, I realize why.
Aspen's bare thigh is draped across my body. Her head nestled into my chest and my arms wrapped around her. Fuck, even in my sleep I can’t keep away from her. My mind, body, and soul gravitate to her. She’s the center of my universe even when I don’t want to admit it.
I don't want to give in to that part of myself. Not until I get the results. Not until I know I could be a good partner for her. My hand drags absent-minded circles on her lower back.
I need to get to work. Weston’s probably wondering where the hell I am, but I can’t convince myself to move.
Because right now, I have all I ever wanted.
The girl I adore in my arms, my baby in her belly.
It’s everything I’ve ever wanted and it’s so damn close, but I’m terrified.
When the results come in, I have to face that fear. All of them.
Before my phone starts blowing up, I need to get out of this bed.
Aspen is finally sleeping, and I’d like to keep her that way.
As gently as I can, I untangle from her and slip out of bed, grabbing my boots and putting them on in the living room so I don’t wake her up.
I slip out the door, leaving my heart in Aspen’s bed.
Mav, Weston, and I drive out to the south pasture to check on the herd.
Shockingly, I wasn’t the only one running late, so I managed to slip under the radar.
We have a lot to do today, though. Last year was a really successful breeding season, and this year's sales should be the best yet. But that means herd checks can take a hell of a lot longer. I look over at Weston, who is now running the whole operation, and feel nothing but pride. He wasn’t sure he had it in him to run this, but I knew he could.
He was born into it, and I somehow was lucky enough to befriend him in elementary school.
It’s easy for me to get stuck in my head about all the things that have shaken out.
Especially in times like these, I feel like I've been waiting on those results for a lifetime. It’s within reach now, but God, having that answer terrifies the fuck out of me.
Even though my straw was the short one, I was one lucky bastard to end up here.
With a second family like this. A job I truly love.
A roof over my head. A life many beg and pray for.
“Guessing this one isn’t getting much sleep at home with that new baby?” Weston jokes as he nods his head to Maverick passed out in the back seat. “I wish we had a Sharpie right now.”
I roll my eyes at him. “Let the poor guy rest. We know he operates just fine on two or three hours so he must’ve slept five minutes last night.”
“If he is this tired by himself, I wonder how the hell my sister is going to do it.” He shakes his head as worry takes over his expression, brows knitting together.
“She won’t be alone,” I say confidently and without thinking.
West looks over to me with a crooked brow. “Last time I checked, she still hasn’t whispered the name of the fucking loser that’s left her high and dry.”
“Just because she hasn’t told you doesn’t mean that he’s left her,” I argue and Weston grunts so I go on, “You don’t think that just maybe she is protecting the sorry sucker from your wrath?”
I know, without a doubt, that the majority of the reason she hasn’t wanted to tell him is me.
She’s worried about what I already have on my plate and doesn’t want to stack more on it.
I wonder if she ever takes herself into consideration.
She’s always worried about other people and how her actions will make them feel.
I know part of it is her worrying about their relationship but I know Weston, he will forgive her instantly.
Me on the other hand? That’s up for debate.
“I guess I didn’t think about that. I’m not sure why she would be worried.”
“She’s probably fucking terrified, West. She’s having a baby, her whole life is about to change. I can assume she doesn’t want to let her big brother down. You may not see it, but she looks up to you, you know.”
“I guess you’re right. But in my mind, the dude is on my shit list. He doesn’t have the balls to come and meet her family and show us he’s going to step up?”
My stomach rolls at the thought of what he’s going to do when he finds out it’s me. And if it weren’t for the looming test results, I would tell him right now. But I’d like to have some answers before we add another stressor. Aspen’s pregnant, and it’s my job to carry as much as I can.
If I told him today, at least I would have Maverick here to break up a fight, that’s if we can wake his ass up. But I can’t do that to her. We’ll tell him together, when our own little storm has settled.
We spend the next four hours driving across the ranch, checking the cattle, treating the sick and if we’re lucky enough, petting some calves.
They’re usually pretty timid. The only times they really warm to us are if they’re bottle fed and we’ve been lucky and only had three.
One orphaned and the other two, it was their mom’s first time calving, and they rejected their claves.
It’s always sad when that happens, but those calves end up being my favorite.
When we get back to the ranch, West and I are beat, but Maverick’s battery is fully charged because we let him sleep in the back of the truck the whole time.
We get out of the truck and Mav stretches, raising his arms above his head as he yawns.
“Glad you got your beauty rest, sleeping beauty,” West jokes and not-so-gently shoves the duffel bag full of supplies against his gut.
“Maybe next time it should be your turn so you don’t scare your wife with that ugly mug,” Maverick fires back.
I laugh and shake my head, staying far away from their insult spar.
“Let’s go ask her; I’m pretty sure she’s in the office today,” West says.
His wife is really the star of the show; she does all the background work to keep the rental cabins running effectively and keeps up with the back-end work of the ranch.
We walk around the office portion of the office and I tag along, mostly wanting to see if West’s wife will roast him.
He knocks twice on the door before walking in. She sits leaned back in the chair across from Ava, who has her baby in tow.
“I get to take a nap at work and see my girls; this is shaping up to be the best day ever,” Maverick jokes as he walks to Ava and pulls baby Grace from her mom’s arms.
She is so tiny, wrapped in all of those blankets. Even in the crowded office, I find myself inching closer. Knowing I will have one of those soon makes me want to see her up close. I think of Ava and Mav, and how they work together to make life as easy as possible for that sweet girl.
“You finally over your fear of babies and ready to hold her yet?” Ava jokes to me.
Guess my subtle shuffle into the room wasn’t so subtle after all.
“I don’t know, she still looks pretty small and breakable.” That’s a fear I need to get over sooner than later if I am going to be of any help to Aspen. And over my dead body will I be one of those dads scared to hold the baby or change a diaper.
“You can hold her, but hold on.” She digs around in her diaper bag and pulls out a travel-size Purell.
My brows shoot up in surprise. “Why do you have that?”
“Babies are susceptible to germs since they don’t have any immune system.
If you want to stand within a six-foot radius, you're sanitizing your hands.” She hands over the bottle of sanitizer and I drop a healthy dollop on my hand.
“If we were at the house, I’d make you wash your hands.
Mav, give him the baby before he chickens out again. ”
“Do you want to sit down?” Maverick asks. Looking between me and his baby girl, I see the difference in him. He has always been fiercely loyal and protective, but it’s like he’s dressed up in armor, ready to defend that baby. Something I understand entirely now.
“Do I need to?” I ask, suddenly feeling unsure. “Maybe I shouldn’t hold her.”
“He’s got this; hand him the baby, Mav,” Ava assures him. Everyone in this room, but one, knows I am going to be a dad in a few short months. Ava smiles, reassuringly, nodding her head from Mav to me. At least one of us is confident in my abilities.
As Mav sets the baby in my arms, I melt. Entirely. For this sweet little girl. She’s a spitting image of her mom, but with her dad’s dark hair. She fusses a little and I instinctively bounce to help settle her down.
“You’re a natural, Rhett,” Ava praises, her encouraging smile saying everything she can’t in this room.
“Thank God she looks like you,” I joke, needing to divert the heaviness sitting on my chest.
“God heard my prayers loud and clear on that one,” Mav says as he steps up, wanting to look at his girl. She’s got him wrapped around her tiny little finger. I think she has us all that way.
“So she’s not dating till she’s forty, right?” I ask. My own protective nature flaring. “Uncle Rhett will make sure to keep all of the boys with jacked up trucks and small brains far, far away,” I whisper to her.
“She’s going to be the world's most protected girl, that’s for sure. I almost feel bad for her,” Willow jokes. “It’s like Aspen all over again.”
I go rigid at the mention of her name, not wanting to think about that.
In no time at all, Aspen and I will share a child.
The next newborn I hold will be my own. I won’t be the protective uncle; I’ll be the dad.
For as long as I can, I’m going to be the strongest man in her book.
Our baby will never grow up thinking they are less than.
I want to raise my child to be so sure of themselves that they never question whether they can do something.
Whether or not they can come to me, I didn’t have that.
And I’m fixing to mend that broken chain.
I may not get to be there forever, but I’ll make the most of whatever time I get with my baby.