39. Chapter 39
Rhett
Two weeks ago, if you would have told me babies have this much shit, I wouldn’t have believed you. Not actual shit, but there is plenty of that to go around, too. Every surface of this house is covered in something for Jackson. Burp cloths, random diapers, and so many baby socks.
“Hey Rhett, can you bring me my water? I left it on the counter,” Aspen hollers from the baby’s room. It has the comfy rocker for when she feeds him, which is basically all the time. I’ve debated whether to mount a TV in there for her.
I look to the counter, and lo and behold, the one thing, aside from the candle, that isn’t Jackson’s, is Aspen’s water bottle. I walk to the fridge and put in fresh ice and water before bringing it to her. I grab a cheese stick out of the fridge while I’m here.
“Here you go,” I say as I hand it to her. Along with the cheese stick.
“Ooooh, and a snack. You’re on your A game today, baby,” she says before chugging a significant amount of water.
“I try; it’s the least I can do since my nipples are useless.
” A lot of me feels useless. She is the one who has to get up and feed him.
He still won’t take a bottle, so it’s Aspen up all night and day right now.
I do tackle every single dirty diaper. “How are you feeling?” She’s only a week out from major surgery, but you wouldn’t guess it by her attitude.
She rolls her eyes. “Same as the last twelve times you asked. I’m fine. I’m following my weight restrictions and only cry out of fear when I have to use the restroom.”
“Okay, just wanted to make sure.” I put my hands up in hopes she stands down.
“I’m getting terrible cabin fever and would love to leave this house today. What do you think about going for a drive? We don’t even have to get out of the truck, but a nice change of scenery might keep me from a grippy sock vacation.”
Driving the baby in the car still scares me shitless.
The only time we’ve left in the last week was for a doctor appointment for her while Jackson was also getting his week check-up.
Everyone checked out fine, but I was now the one with a blood pressure issue.
I never realized how reckless people were on the road until I had a baby in the back seat.
A baby who very well might be our only one, judging by the way he came into the world.
I know I don’t want to go through that again, and I wouldn’t blame Aspen if she was one-and-done after it, too.
The look of hope and borderline desperation on her face makes this an easy yes. “Alright. After you're done feeding, let’s load up and we can go drive around for an hour.”
“Oh thank the Lord. I was going with or without you, but I much prefer being a passenger princess.”
I lean down and kiss her, unable to help myself. “You look too good in my passenger seat to miss out on seeing it today.”
“You’re so sweet. But I am the equivalent of a human baked potato right now.”
“You’re as hot as ever, and maybe even hotter than you were because your tits are out all the time.” I wink at her with a grin.
“Ah, glad to see you’re still eighteen at heart. I feel like my boobs look scary, so I’m glad one of us is enjoying them,” she says, looking down as Jackson finishes up feeding. “I just need to burp him and then go to the bathroom and put on a shirt”
“Perfect. I will make sure his diaper bag is loaded and then come back to grab him while you get ready.” We’ve left the house once, and I’m pretty sure we only used one diaper, but I’m going to double-check regardless.
Just as I thought, it’s good to go; I added a couple of diapers in for good measure. “Alright, I’ll take him. You take as long as you need.”
Jackson, very milk drunk, immediately falls asleep as I start walking down the hallway. I sit down on the couch and hold him out in front of me.
Sometimes this all feels too good to be true. That this little guy is all mine. That I get to teach him about life, love, messing up, and making it right. It’s terrifying, sure, but I think having known the fear of thinking I wouldn't get to do this made it seem so much easier to embrace.
I’m grateful for being tired. I’m grateful the house is a mess; I’m grateful I get to hold him in my arms. This is the dream. Well, this and loving his mom.
His sleepy eyes blink open once, looking right at me, before falling right back asleep. To be his safe space is a gift I will never take lightly.
This little quiet time when it’s just he and I is my new favorite thing. I memorize every piece of him over and over, because I know tomorrow it’ll be different. I’m going to blink twice and he will be eighteen and gone. So I make sure to never take these quiet moments for granted.
“Okay, I’m ready.” Aspen steps out in a pair of leggings and one of my T-shirts. I hope that she never stops that. Seeing her wear my clothes out and about just does it for me.
“Alright, buddy. Let’s load you up,” I whisper.
The second we step out of the house, Aspen takes a big deep breath as the sun shines on her. “The vitamin D is already calming the crazy.”
“We’ll be sure to drive with the windows down then; fresh air works miracles.” That’s one thing I’ve learned all these years out here in these mountains. There’s nothing Wyoming air can’t make better.
“Perfect,” Aspen says. “And I have an idea for our drive today.”“Oh goodie.” Her ideas border on terrifying half the time.
“Let’s go pick out land to build our house. Dad said he didn’t care where, and neither did the boys.” She looks at me like she’s the lucky one.
“That sounds like my perfect day. I have a spot in mind. It’ll be a bit more of a drive up the mountain, but the sunsets are gorgeous.”
“Let’s go pick out our forever spot.” She reaches her hand out for mine and I lace my fingers with hers.
We walk to the truck, our souls laced together, just like our hands. It was a rough road getting here. I get to live my wildest fantasy every single day, saddled up with the love of my life and baby in tow.