Chapter Thirty-Two Ava
W hen I woke to the sunlight streaking across my face, I experienced a peace that I hadn’t in many, many months. I didn’t fear opening my eyes to worry about how Wesley might strike at me today. He wasn’t going to hurt me ever again.
Thanks to Dare.
My eyes popped wide. The very Dare I was indebted to was currently rubbing his morning wood against my ass.
Way to fuck things up royally, Aves.
As I glanced over my shoulder, I hoped and prayed I was just hallucinating Dare being in my bed. That instead of letting my anger and horniness get the better of me, I’d sent him on his way after dinner.
At the sight of his impressive form, I groaned.
“Good morning,” Dare proclaimed with a sexy smile.
For a moment, it sent heat blooming between my thighs. But then I remembered all the baggage surrounding us, and I grunted in irritation that I’d allowed myself to get carried away.
Dare chuckled. “I see you’re still not a morning person.”
“I’m not on a regular morning, and I’m sure as hell not going to be one when I wake up next to my ex.”
His brows furrowed. “Whoa, where’s the venom coming from?”
“Last night shouldn’t have happened.”
“I disagree.”
“Of course you wouldn’t.”
“What does that mean?”
“That as long as you’re getting your dick wet, you don’t care about the consequences.”
Dare’s face clouded over. “That’s a fucking cheap shot.”
“It’s the truth, isn’t it?”
“No, Ava, it isn’t. I slept with you last night because I wanted to be connected to you in that way again.”
“Sure you did,” I bit back.
“Since you came on to me, I imagined you felt the same.”
Rubbing the forehead from my growing headache, I replied, “I was confused.”
“You were confused, so you ripped the buttons of my shirt and then let me fuck you three times?”
I groaned as his words sent a reel of last night’s events playing in my mind. “I don’t know what came over me.”
“Can you honestly say you don’t have feelings for me?” Dare asked.
“No. I don’t.”
“Liar,” he growled.
Regardless of the ache in my chest, I wouldn’t let Dare know the truth. “Fine. I do feel for you because you’re the father of my child.”
“Bullshit, Ava. You cared for me before Piper was conceived.”
“While that might be true, time has altered those feelings.”
Dare’s jaw clenched. “You’re still hung up about what you saw four years ago.”
“How can I not be?”
“Because that’s not who I truly am!” he shouted.
Motioning my hand, I replied, “Would you please keep it down? You’re going to wake up Piper.”
Ignoring me, Dare swept out of the bed. “Where are you going?”
“Away from your hypocritical bullshit.”
“Excuse me?”
As he stood before me in all his naked glory, I tried ignoring the shudder of desire that ran through my body. I don’t know what it was about being near Dare that was my kryptonite.
“Deep down, we both know you’re a hypocrite. You use me when it serves your purpose to kill your ex. As you exploit that side of me, you refuse to acknowledge my other sides.”
“Do you want to know what a truly evil clan member does?”
“No, I don’t.”
“Well, you’re going to listen. I want you to understand what I’ve been through.” Dare jerked a hand through his hair. “One of the earliest memories of my life was my father backhanding me so hard that I fell down a flight of stairs.”
At my gasp of horror, he continued on. “It was nothing personal. He beat my mother and brothers as well. He delighted in pain and torture. After a while, I became conditioned to him hurting me.”
“Oh Dare,” I murmured.
He didn’t acknowledge my words. He was so lost in the pain of the past that he might not have even heard me.
At the haunted look that came over Dare’s face, I desperately wanted to wrap my arms around him. To somehow ease the overwhelming pain inside of him. But I remained rooted to my spot.
“But then he wounded me emotionally far greater than he ever could have physically.” His gaze locked with mine. “He took the only girl I’d ever loved away from me.”
“How?” I whispered.
“He shot her in the head as I held her in my arms.”
A horrified gasp escaped my lips. “Why?”
“Her father had tried to extort him for money, so she was my father’s way of punishing him.” He shook his head sadly. “Shannon was completely innocent, but my bastard father didn’t care. He’d ordered me to kill her myself, or he’d allow two of his men to rape her in front of me.”
Slowly, I shook my head back at the vile scene that played in my mind. “No…he didn’t.”
“I couldn’t kill her. I loved her too much. But then she began to beg me to kill her so she wouldn’t be raped.” A lone tear streaked down his cheek. “We were saying goodbye when my father killed her.”
The depravity of Dare’s story overwhelmed me. My stomach lurched, sending bile rocketing into my throat. I flew to cover my mouth before I threw up. At the same time my body reacted physically, tears began to flood my eyes. I could barely see as I rushed past Dare into the bathroom to vomit in the sink.
After swiping my mouth on the back of my hand, I turned back to stare into the bedroom. Dare still stood where I’d left him as tears dripped off his cheeks.
In that moment, I saw him clearly for the first time. He could never be the monster I once imagined him to be. He was just a man who’d been broken by the horrors of his childhood and young adulthood. He hadn’t signed up to be a killer–it had been forced into him through beatings and emotional torture.
Regardless of the brutality he had been surrounded with, he had never shown me anything but tenderness. He gave of himself so freely to me. He’d never made me feel anything less than worthy of his attention. At the end of the day, I knew without a doubt he would give his life for mine and would ensure my protection at all costs.
In the end, it wasn’t just about me. We had a daughter together. One that despite my initial actions, needed and deserved to have her father in her life. If Dare and I truly loved each other, we owed it to Piper to try to be a complete family.
Slowly, I made my way back in the bedroom. When I once again stood before him, he appeared to have slid his mask back into place.
“I never loved another woman after Shannon.” He pinned me with a stare. “Until you.”
A mirthless laugh tumbled from his lips. “This world that was forced upon me has taken so much. Yeah, I have wealth and power, but I’m so fucking empty, Ava.”
“Oh Dare,” I murmured before I launched myself at him. “I’m so, so sorry.”
He pushed me away. “I don’t want your fucking pity, Ava.”
“It’s not. I swear. Not only am I so sorry for all that you’ve been through, but I’m sorry for what I’ve put you through.”
His brows shot up in surprise. “You are?”
“Yes, I am.” I wrapped my arms around his neck, drawing myself closer to him. “I can never fully understand the world that you come from. But I do understand you better than I ever have before. I was wrong to push you away.”
He dropped his head to bring his forehead against mine. “You really do care for me?”
“I do. And I’m sorry I tried to push you away earlier. I just don’t want to do anything that’s going to hurt Piper.”
“Aye. I feel the same. I truly do. Especially now that she’s just come into my life.”
“So maybe we should take things slow.”
“As you well remember, you and I have never had the ability to take things slowly.”
I laughed. “True. But we have four years to catch up on. We need to figure out who the other is now.”
“I’m still the man who loves you.”
“You would say that, wouldn’t you?” I replied, my voice choked off with emotion.
“It’s the truth. Nothing else that’s transpired in the last four years matters but that.”
“You’re right.”
Gripping me by the waist, Dare swept me into his arms. “I don’t want to take things slow this morning. I want to bury myself inside you again, marking you inside and out with my cum.”
“Then you must want another Piper since you didn’t ask about birth control.”
I expected him to grimace, but instead, a slight smile curved on his lips. “I wouldn’t mind.”
“Bullshit,” I laughed.
“It’s the truth.”
“You just found out you’ve got a kid when you never wanted one, and now you’re ready to sign up for another.”
“I want to be a part of its life from the beginning.”
Regret pierced my heart, sending tears stinging my eyes. “I’m sorry, Dare. I know I can never make up for what I took from you, and that breaks my heart.”
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not.”
“You had your reasons then. You thought you were doing what was right for her. Now that you can see the picture more clearly, we can only focus on the future.”
Too overwhelmed to speak, I crashed my lips against his. I poured all the emotions swirling inside me into that kiss. Dare groaned against my lips, which caused heat to pool between my thighs.
He eased me down on the bed. When he pulled away, I gripped his shoulders. “Where are you going?”
“To get a condom.”
“You’re off the hook. I have an IUD.” When his eyes lit up, I couldn’t help laughing. “Maybe you weren’t as ready as you claimed, huh?”
“Maybe.”
I pressed my hand against his chest. “But that’s only pregnancy. Neither of us knows about STI’s.”
“I’ve never been bare with anyone.”
“Me either.”
He cocked his brows. “So we’re doing this?”
I grinned. “Absolutely.”
As his mouth closed over my nipple, Piper called, “Mommy!”
Fumbling with the covers, I said, “Oh shit. You have to hide.”
“Didn’t you lock the door?”
Scowling at him, I argued, “I kinda forgot in the heat of the moment last night.” Holding up the duvet, I shoved his broad shoulders. “Get under.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes,” I hissed.
With a wink, he replied, “If you wanted my head between your thighs, you only had to ask.”
“Oh, shut up.” I’d just gotten Dare covered when Piper threw open the door.
“Why’s you not up?” she demanded.
“I’m sorry, sweetie, but Mommy had a big day yesterday and was tired.”
When Dare snickered at my lie, I kicked him in the side. He reacted by grabbing my leg and throwing it over his shoulder, which caused me to jump.
At Piper’s questioning look, I said, “I had a cramp.”
“Kay, but I needs you to get up.”
When Dare’s warm breath ghosted against my inner thigh, I gasped. As I tried wriggling away, I replied, “I will in ten minutes.”
Piper’s lips turned down in a frown. “But I’s hungwy.”
As Dare’s tongue flicked against my pussy, I whimpered. A shiver ran through me as his teeth grazed my clit. “Um, I-uh, get Nick to…um, make you..ahhh…something.”
Shaking her head, Piper replied, “No, no. He burns the eggs.”
“Okay, I’m coming.”
“Not that fast,” Dare joked against my center.
When Piper slammed the door back, I squirmed out of Dare’s reach. “I cannot believe you just did that,” I hissed.
He flung the blanket over his head. “She didn’t have a clue what was going on.”
“But I did!”
“Ava, I know I don’t know a lot about this parenting thing, but I’m pretty sure kids walk in on their parents fucking all the time.”
“You didn’t stop when she came in.”
“Because I wanted to tease you.”
“Not in front of her.”
Dare held up his hands. “Okay, okay. I’m sorry.” Although he momentarily appeared apologetic, he licked his lips. “Does this mean I can’t go down on you?”
With a playful roll of my eyes, I shoved him away. “I know you’re new to the whole father thing, but trust me when I tell you, I have exactly a minute to get out there before she comes back.”
He grunted in frustration. “Fine. I’ll go grab a shower.”
Just as he flung back the covers and got out of bed, Piper appeared in the doorway. “Motherfucker!” Dare blared before dropping to the floor out of Piper’s inquisitive stare.
“Did your fwiend spend da night?” she asked.
Closing my eyes, I willed the floor to open up and swallow me whole. “Uh, huh,” I finally replied.
“Whys he down dere?”
Grabbing my robe, I threw it on in record time. I stepped over Dare who had rolled into a fetal position halfway under the bed. “Let’s go get you some breakfast?”
“But whys he on the floor?”
“I was playing hide and seek. I’ll come find you guys later,” Dare called.
A laugh bubbled from my lips at the absurdity of the moment.
“Should I finds him?” Piper asked.
“Nope. Let’s go to the kitchen.”