Chapter Four
Luca
Arousal. Rian had coached me through how it would be on the other side of that before he turned me. I’d known how it felt being bitten, of course, but doing the biting when the other person was getting aroused? Yeah, a whole other deal.
It happened with everyone, so it could make those donor apps complicated. That’s why Rian had his regular donor, a human woman named Acacia, who just wanted to help and keep everything purely friendly. Not that Rian needed her help much these days, given that he had his own werewolf to feed from.
The unofficial apps were apparently just meat markets, so to speak. The thought of those made me shiver a little with disgust, if I was honest. But luckily I had no need for any of the apps right now, at least. Not when I had two wolves happy to make sure I stayed fed.
Between the two of them, they could probably sustain me indefinitely with how their bodies replenished faster, especially once I got the initial adjustment period over with. Later down the line, I would have to feed maybe every other, or even every third, day. Just not yet.
I reached behind me to grab Max’s hand he’d pulled from my thigh. There was no shame in arousal. Even if it wasn’t him I was feeding from, I knew he was attracted to me and he practically felt his brother’s emotions. It wasn’t a stretch he’d be a bit squirmy in the moment.
“Thank you,” I told Ben. “That helped.”
He was a little affected still, so I smiled. Then I curled up against him from the side and pulled Max’s arm so that he would get close to me, too.
I sighed as I relaxed. The way there was this new, wilder being within me now, one that just thought about feeding and that was, on occasion, a bit scary, and felt… well, like a lot.
But something about Max especially made me feel more in control. Ben was unflappable, but I wasn’t sure if it was by design. I could count on them both, but something about Ben made me think he’d been “on” for too long.
Max, on the other hand, stepped up as soon as I needed something. Part of it was the hero worship thing, although by now he knew I was just as human as they were. He seemed to thrive in taking care of me. Not in a serving me kind of way, either.
The brothers were sort of fascinating to me, but I needed to tread carefully, because some of their hard truths might be too much to say out loud right now.
The next couple of days went pretty much the same, except Holden and Ben needed to work, and so Brodie visited Rian, Max, and me.
I knew it was a security thing, not that I felt unstable.
But I also hadn’t met any humans yet and I knew that as the alpha of our pack, Brodie needed to see for himself.
The fact remained that we had his mate Kye, Kye’s sister Carys, and her girlfriend Lina at the pack house.
I loved them all and would’ve rather taken my own life than hurt any of them.
On my fourth day as a vampire, Rian sat next to me on the couch. Max was in the shower and Ben was still at work.
“Do you think you’re ready to go home?” Rian asked, holding my hands in his.
It struck me that I wasn’t sure what “home” meant anymore. He meant the pack house. It was his home, and for now, mine, too. The old Victorian in the woods they’d lovingly restored after years of mistreatment and ruin.
There were still things to do, but once we got rid of all the snow, Brodie and Lina would start to figure out the rest of the renovation.
The main thing was the large sunroom on the back of the house, which I couldn’t help but to be excited about.
It looked like it had a lot of potential, even boarded up and with a tarp covering missing panes in the glass ceiling.
I inhaled deeply, pondering on Rian’s question.
I’d been feeding twice a day from my wolves.
They were doing really well with the schedule and neither of them had had any negative effects.
We didn’t think there would be any, as long as we made sure they had all the food they could eat and stayed hydrated.
But I needed to face the rest of the pack now.
“Is it different? Around humans?” I asked Rian.
His gaze unfocused a little as he searched for the answer. “I was turned in a different time….” He grimaced. “I didn’t have choices or anyone to teach me how to be a vampire.”
Ah. He’d told me he’d done bad things in the beginning.
He’d been unstable, but I couldn’t blame him.
With how I’d felt immediately after waking up, without the love and support from Rian and the brothers, I wasn’t sure what I would’ve done.
How I’d ended up being. The hunger had been like an animal awakening inside me.
The only reason I was doing so well was because of the love, support, and understanding of my people.
I rolled my shoulders “Can you call Brodie for me?”
Smiling, Rian grabbed his phone off the coffee table.
We waited three rings, then Brodie’s voice came through. “What’s up, sweetness?”
I smiled at the nickname. They were the epitome of a platonic, loving friendship between two queer men and I couldn’t have loved that more.
“You’re on speaker with me and Luca,” Rian started.
“Oh, hey. What can I do for you gents?” I could hear the fondness in Brodie’s tone.
I cleared my throat. Rian put his hand on my thigh and squeezed.
“What do you think about me coming home?” I asked in a rush.
With my enhanced hearing, I caught a soft little huff from our alpha.
“Luca, if you think you’re ready, then you’re ready. Now, that’s not to say I won’t do everything in my power to protect the human members of the pack.”
“That… that seems fair.” My brain provided me a brief flash of flying into a wall while Brodie growled at me in front of the humans after throwing me. “Uh… can we try?”
This time the gentle amusement was clear when he replied, “Come home. If you feel unsteady, Holden won’t mind you staying at the house for a while longer.”
“Okay. We’ll gather our stuff and come home once Ben is off work,” I said, even though I was still hesitant.
“Good deal. See you later.” Then he added, “Luca? You’ll be fine.”
“Yeah. Thanks.”
Max sauntered into the room, pulling on a T-shirt. His hair was still wet from the shower and he looked at us, smiling. “What’s going on?”
I couldn’t help but to smile back. “We’re going home.”
He lit up in a way I’d rarely seen and jumped over the back of the couch to land on my other side.
“That’s great!” He pulled me into his arms and squeezed. “Do you want a top up before we go? I assume we’re waiting for Ben to get back?”
Rian got off the couch. “I’d say it’s easier if you’re a bit overfed.”
I shrugged. “I think we better go with what Papa says.”
Rian snorted and shot me the finger over his shoulder, making Max cackle.
“Where?” Max asked, giving me a fond look.
“You can pick. You’re the snack.”
The way his cheeks flushed was cute as fuck, as was the wide-eyed expression. “Uh….”
I’d blame the devil later. “Your neck it is!” I turned and cupped his jaw.
Suddenly we both realized how intimate the position was, as if I was about to kiss him.
“Maybe the wrist?” he blurted out, almost panicked.
“Uh, yeah, that seems good!” I let go of him as if his skin was on fire and grabbed his forearm instead.
We pointedly ignored Rian’s snickering from the kitchen as I bit through the delicate skin on Max’s wrist and closed my eyes at the now-familiar taste of his life’s essence flooding my tastebuds.
Since I wasn’t hungry, I didn’t drink much, just enough to know that I definitely wouldn’t be hungry until bedtime.
The only variable was the way my predator self would react to the humans now.
As I carefully removed my fangs from Max’s skin, I could smell his arousal again. My own libido hadn’t returned yet, but I figured it would, eventually.
“Thank you,” I whispered as I let go of his arm.
Max cleared his throat. “Of course.” He gestured to the bedroom. “I’ll go pack our stuff.”
“Okay. I’ll grab mine after.” I closed my eyes and leaned to the back of the couch, taking stock of my body.
It was weird. Technically I knew some part of me was into the fact that the wolf brothers got turned on by the bite.
I also knew they were both attractive in different ways.
The old me, the one before I’d gotten gradually very ill, would’ve jumped either or both of them in an instant, given the chance.
It was almost funny thinking about the lifestyle I’d led less than a year ago. I’d been the quintessential rockstar. The lead singer of a very successful band. I’d known exactly how I looked, what I sounded like, and how I could move.
I’d been called sin incarnate more than once, and frankly it was a bit ridiculous, but in the beginning it had been a rush to be that wanted.
I hadn’t, however, hooked up with people as much as everyone likely thought.
I just hadn’t seen the point when performing on the stage got me off, figuratively.
Sure, there’d been times when I’d come off the stage and fallen into the closest person that showed interest, because sometimes that was the only thing you could think about when high on the post-performance endorphins.
I’d also had a sort of a friends with benefits thing with our drummer, Q, but that was purely platonic scratch an itch type of thing. He rarely felt sexual and when he did, I was often the closest reliable person to come to.
I sighed as I let the band and everything surrounding it flow through my mind. I wasn’t up to thinking about that yet. Although I needed to contact my handler soon. I thought maybe Rian had been giving her updates, since she hadn’t been blowing up my phone.
Then again, I hadn’t heard from Q or Mila, either. Mila had gone to rehab after everything went down and—“I’m home!”
I smiled as Ben’s familiar scent of wolf, woods, and motor oil filled the space.
“Hey,” I said, my heart jumping extra vigorously—for a dead guy— at the sight of him.
“What’s up?” he asked, clocking where the others were.