25. DANIELLE
I’d just woken up but was still dreaming about last night.
It was, hands down, the best meal of my life.
I’d never been anywhere so fancy before.
Alex and I couldn’t have dreamed of affording something like that growing up.
Every bite was incredible, but what made it unforgettable was sharing it with the one person I used to think was the worst thing that ever happened to me. Now, I realized he might be the best.
No one had ever treated me like Cody did.
He was funny, kind, and considerate. In other words, he was everything Landon never was.
He had been so patient and understanding in ways I never thought anyone would be capable of.
I was starting to understand what love was supposed to feel like.
Was I in love? I wasn’t sure, but this had to be close.
I wanted to tell him, but the words would just never come out when I wanted them to.
I kept waiting for the perfect moment, half-terrified he might not feel the same.
Cody had gotten a call from Alex, and he seemed on edge. He insisted it was nothing, but I could tell it was bothering him. Now, sitting beside him on the bed, he’d fallen silent, just staring at the TV, holding my hand tight enough that it felt like I was the only thing keeping him anchored.
“Where are we going?” I asked, hoping to break the tension between us.
“It’s a surprise,” Cody offered a faint smile as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I was going to wait until this afternoon, but Alex thought it’d be better for us to go now.”
My lips tightened as I resisted the urge to assume things were being hidden from me.
“Why would Alex think that?”
Cody let out a slow, drawn-out sigh that told me he regretted mentioning Alex. “I can’t lie to you, Danielle. Did you use your credit card at the convenience store?”
My heart sank as the all-too-familiar anxiety I used to feel around Landon began setting in. I’d gotten so comfortable with Cody, I almost forgot why we were here. Had I just risked everything?
Cody must have seen the anxiety building in my eyes as he reached down and squeezed my hand, grounding me back in the moment. “Hey, we’ll figure it out, alright? There’s some good news, too. Remember Thomas? The name from your dream?”
“Yeah?” I managed.
“I don’t know all the details, but they found him.”
“They found him?” A flicker of relief softened my nerves, but the tension in my gut refused to leave. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I ruined everything by letting my guard down. “Did they find Landon?”
“No,” Cody said, hesitating for a moment, “but Thomas told them what he knows, so I don’t want you worrying about it.”
He lifted my hand to his lips in a swift, reverent motion and kissed it.
We drove through town, each minute feeling longer than the last as the threat of Landon’s presence lingered at the edges of my thoughts, and for the last few minutes or so of the drive, I had to keep repeating to myself that I was safe with Cody. I trusted him. I needed to.
It wasn’t much longer before we turned into an empty parking lot.
“A zoo?” I asked, baffled at why we were here, of all places.
Cody grinned. “Yep. But the real surprise is inside.” He winked, then strode up to the gate, waving at a security camera perched on the top right corner. The gate swung open with a loud creak, revealing a guard standing on the other side.
“You’re late,” the guard said, glancing at his watch. Cody handed over a thick envelope and apologized. Without another word, the guard returned to his booth and picked up the phone to tell someone that we’d arrived. My curiosity was piqued.
What was he up to?
After a few minutes, a petite woman appeared, her blonde hair pulled into a ponytail. She wore a Cheyenne Mountain Zoo button-up shirt, khaki shorts, and sturdy boots. She looked far too excited about this, like she’d been waiting just for us.
“You must be Cody!” the woman said, stepping forward with an outstretched hand, then turning her attention to me. “And you must be Danielle! I’m so happy to finally meet you.”
To finally meet me? I was lost. Did Cody know her already? How long had he been planning whatever this was?
She led us to the main gate, and through the wrought iron bars, the zoo looked suspiciously empty. Once we got past the main entrance, we were led through another gate. The trails were deserted except for us.
I glanced at Cody, perplexed. “Why does the zoo look closed?”
He smiled, squeezing my hand. “It is closed.” With that, we followed the zookeeper through the deserted pathways.
The zoo was eerie without the sound of people, and yet, alive in ways I hadn’t expected.
Strange animal calls came from the exhibits, ones that I might not have heard in crowded parts of the zoo.
Distant, exotic birds shrieked, and somewhere nearby, a lion’s roar reverberated through the air.
My heart pounded in excitement and anxiety as we walked deeper into the park.
After about five minutes, Cody stopped and turned to me. He pulled what looked like a piece of fabric from his pocket.
“If you want to go any further, you’ll have to let me blindfold you,” he said with a teasing tone in his voice. Before I could protest, he tied the fabric over my eyes with care. I couldn’t see, but I could feel the warmth of his skin close to mine.
Before we went any further, he leaned in and whispered, “We can use this later, too, if you want.”
I didn’t know whether to laugh or melt into a puddle right then and there.
With Cody’s hands on my shoulders, I let him lead me forward.
The only indication that we had moved indoors was when the gravel path turned smooth, hard concrete, and the heat had been replaced with cooler air.
There were several turns, then a door swung open, and we stepped into a room that was much colder and silent, except for our breathing.
I stood there, waiting, surrounded by nothing but darkness.
“Ready?” Cody whispered into my ear from behind me.
I nodded, feeling Cody’s hand steady on my back as he led me through the final door. His fingers brushed at the edge of the blindfold before removing it.
Once my eyes adjusted to the light, I was struck speechless.
No amount of guessing could have prepared me for this.
There we were, standing on a rock above the water.
Right in front of me, just a few feet away, there were dozens of penguins waddling by, flapping their wings, and noting my every move.
It took a moment for it to sink in that we were actually inside the penguin enclosure.
The icy air, the soft sounds of water lapping, the happy chattering of the birds—every detail felt magical.
I was at a total loss for words. No one had ever done anything like this for me.
This was what a real relationship was supposed to be.
“Cody,” I forced the words out, not knowing the right thing to say, “this is incredible.”
The zookeeper stepped forward, grinning at my awestruck face. “Do you want to hold one?”
“Um, YES!” The word tumbled out before I could gather my composure. She scooped up one of the smaller penguins with ease and brought it over. Meanwhile, Cody spread a blanket across the cold rock for me to sit on. I plopped down, arms outstretched like a little kid on Christmas morning.
The zookeeper eased the penguin into my lap.
Its downy feathers pressed against my palms as its tiny body nestled into mine.
I couldn’t stop smiling. For the next fifteen minutes, I laughed and played like the world outside didn’t exist while Cody just watched, smiling, content to see me happier than I could ever remember being.
“Would you like some champagne?” Cody asked, smiling as he pulled a basket from behind the rocks.
Inside was a bottle of champagne, two glasses, and an array of different cheeses with crackers.
He popped the cork, aiming so it went flying into the hallway, then poured out two glasses and sat next to me on the blanket. I took a sip, and he made me a plate.
“How did you know I love penguins so much?” I asked, smiling as we made our way through the cheese plate.
Cody smiled back, almost smirking. “A few months ago, my roommate asked me to look after his little sister. I figured there might come a time when she’d be scared, or sad, or maybe just needed a smile.
So, I asked him what she loved most, just in case.
That way, no matter what happened, I could make her happy. ”
Yep. This is love.
I’d never felt so sure about anything, ever, as I was at that moment.
As I let my hand glide over the soft feathers of the penguin in my lap, I realized that I had been the one holding back all along.
For so long, I was afraid to reveal even a hint of love to Cody, terrified that he might not feel the same.
The prospect of rejection was something I knew I wasn’t capable of handling yet.
But this changed everything I thought I knew.
Until now, I thought Cody was just a fierce protector, his actions being based on the desperate need to keep me safe, but this evening revealed a side to him I had been longing to see.
He didn’t need to do this; he wanted to.
This was more than sex; it was an intentional act, something to show me that I was someone worthy of doing extraordinary things for.
I was on the cusp of saying those three words when a sudden thought came to mind, and a feeling of unease crept in and took over everything else.
“Um, Cody?” I hesitated, half afraid to ask. “How much of the living allowance did you use for all this?”
Cody's eyes shot wide, his pupils dilated like a deer caught in headlights. Alex had been generous, providing us with funds weekly for food and necessities, and even more for clothes and other needs. I might not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I knew this must have come at a significant cost.
“I didn’t use the allowance, I used the other money Alex has been giving me,” Cody admitted, lowering his focus to his glass as if the answers were floating to the surface of his champagne. Regret crossed his face the moment the words came out of his mouth.
“What money from my brother?” I demanded, feeling the flush red of anger rising to the surface of my skin.
“Nothing,” he retorted, dismissing my interrogation. “Forget I said anything. He just thought I needed some income for the trouble.”
“Trouble? Oh, so what? So now I'm a fucking trouble?” My fears were validated.
I felt reduced to nothing more than a burden, a job to him.
The trust and care I'd been cultivating, pouring my heart into, working really hard to give him, felt like it all just shattered into pieces at my feet.
All I wanted was to erase the time, the energy, the emotions I had invested.
He didn't deserve an explanation, nor my patience after referring to me as trouble, and I was ready to walk away without looking back.
"Come on, Danielle, you know it isn't like that." Cody reached for my arm, but I flinched back before he could touch me. I could feel the walls rising again.
“I mean, it might have started that way, but everything's different now. You don’t understand—you’ve got me in a chokehold.” He paused, searching for words.
“I don’t know what I’m doing, or why you’re the first person who’s gotten through to me, but I do know I love you.”
“No, don’t do that. Don’t say it now to save yourself.”
“Danielle, I’m not saying it to save myself.
I see you. All of you. Even the parts you don’t see yourself.
I accept the hard parts right along with the easy parts.
But it’s in the hardest, most painful parts of you where I see what I love the most. And I’m sorry it took me this long to admit it.
” He waited, hoping I would forgive and forget. But I couldn’t.
“Oh, really?” I shot back, hearing the pain in my own voice. “Did you stop taking the money when you figured that out?”
A sad silence filled the space between us as Cody let me fill in the answer myself.
I searched his eyes, and all I saw was an undeniable mix of pain and regret that begged for understanding.
Yet, I couldn’t feel any sympathy. I wanted him to feel my hurt, to see it in every tear.
I chose to trust him in a time when nothing on this Earth deserved my trust, and no one could have blamed me for closing myself off.
All I wanted back was honesty. Now, I questioned everything.
Were his feelings real? Was he lying about anything else?
Giving in to my emotions, I acted on impulse. In one quick motion, I snatched the car keys off the blanket and backed away, moving fast enough that he had no time to intervene.
“That’s not why he still pays me, Danielle,” Cody swallowed hard, struggling to keep steady.
“I’ve been honest about everything else.
I shared things with you that I’ve never told anyone, not even Alex.
Even if it hurt me, even if I couldn’t sleep after because I was so scared of opening up to someone and being looked at differently.
Life is different with you in it. You make it more than I could ever feel before. ”
“You know, Cody, maybe I could have believed you loved me if you’d stopped taking money to be with me.” The words flew from my mouth, fueled by a hatred that was growing too fast to contain. Shutting people out was a skill I knew all too well.
I bolted from the building, weaving through the zoo as fast as my legs could carry me. I could hear Cody’s footsteps a ways behind me as he begged me to stop. His footsteps pounded the pavement, closing the gap fast, but I refused to pause or look back.
I reached the car, sliding into the driver's seat just as Cody arrived, out of breath and pleading for me to open the door. With tears clouding my vision, I looked at him one final time, my own unspoken goodbye, and drove away, leaving him standing alone in the parking lot.