Sixteen
Erica was glad the day was over. She was looking forward to attending the book club meeting this evening, but first, she had to visit Jamie to remove his dressing. As soon as she made the offer she’d regretted it, seeing the way his eyes lit up. But it had been too late to change her mind, and surely it couldn’t be too bad. She’d go in, remove the dressing, check the wound and leave. If she treated it like any other professional contact, there wouldn’t be a problem. But she knew it wasn’t so simple. This wasn’t just another patient, it was Jamie, who’d been her first love, who still had the power to make her tremble at the memory of those days, and who seemed determined to rekindle the past.
Still dressed in her nurse’s uniform and carrying her first-aid kit, Erica made her way along the row of cottages till she came to the one which was Jamie’s. She’d recognised it straight away. With the anchor in the front yard and the model of a fishing boat in the window, it couldn’t belong to anyone else. She remembered how they had often talked about the house they would have – in those far-off days when anything seemed possible, and they couldn’t imagine a future with anyone else. Even back then, boats and fishing had been his life. Jamie had worked on his dad’s fishing boat, aiming to take over when his dad retired. She was surprised he’d sold the boat, set up his fishing charter business, but supposed it might have become too difficult to maintain after Cindy left. Cindy! Erica had been shocked when Livvy had written to tell her they’d married. Erica had already been married to Geoff by then and pregnant with Kieren, so it shouldn’t have mattered to her what Jamie was doing. But she remembered Cindy who had been a year below her at school and had always seemed too flighty for someone like Jamie. Well, it appeared she had been. The marriage hadn’t lasted and, according to what Rhana had told her, Cindy now had a new life in Melbourne.
The letter about Jamie’s marriage had been one of the last she’d received from her friend. Geoff had kicked up such a fuss about her receiving news from Pelican Crossing, it had been easier to let the friendship lapse. It had been such a bonus to meet Livvy and Rhana again when she was here last year, and to pick up her friendship with the two women who had been her best friends when she was growing up. And now she was staying in Livvy’s cottage, and Jamie lived only three doors away.
After an initial hesitation, Erica took a deep breath, pushed open the gate and walked up the path bordered with bright flowering plants. She knocked at the door, to hear Jamie call, ‘It’s open. Come in.’
Once inside, Erica had to adjust her eyes to the dim light in the hallway, before following the sound of music and heading through to the back of the house where she found Jamie seated in a cane chair in the glassed conservatory.
The music stopped and she realised it had been the radio. ‘Hello, nurse,’ Jamie said, the amused twinkle in his eyes telling Erica he’d guessed why she’d chosen to come dressed in her uniform.
‘Hello, Jamie. I won’t take up much of your time,’ Erica said, trying to keep her voice calm and hoping he couldn’t detect her embarrassment… or her unease at being alone with him. She could remember the last time they’d been alone together. He probably could too. It had been the night before she left for Sydney to study nursing, the night when they’d almost… But he had pulled back at the last moment, saying he didn’t want their first time to be on the beach. Looking at him now, his chin covered with stubble, no doubt because he’d been unable to shave, his hair longer than was fashionable for a man of his age, though not as long as it had been when he was eighteen, Erica wondered if her life would have been different if he’d had fewer scruples. He was still a fine figure of a man, his tee-shirt strained across shoulders which were broader than she remembered, his hair showing just enough tinge of grey to give him a distinguished appearance, his eyes still the same dark brown she had fallen in love with. She realised she was staring.
‘Let’s have a look at your hand,’ she said briskly. ‘Any problems?’
‘No, it’s been good.’
Pulling up a small stool, Erica sat on it, took Jamie’s hand and removed the dressing. The wound was healing perfectly. ‘How does it feel?’ she asked as he tried to flex it. ‘Still a bit tender?’
‘Yeah, but better than it was. Can I test it out by making you a coffee?’
‘Oh… I…’ About to refuse, Erica realised it would be churlish. ‘Thanks, Jamie,’ she said, ‘but I can’t stop for long. I’m going to a book club this evening. It’s my first time, and I don’t want to be late.’
‘And I’m guessing you won’t be going dressed like that.’ Jamie gestured to the dark blue pants and tunic with her nametag pinned to it, making her wish she’d changed before coming here. It had been a silly attempt at trying to put some distance between them, and it hadn’t worked, as was clear from his next remark, ‘Though it’s a pretty snazzy uniform. I bet you get a few admiring glances in it.’
Erica blushed. She put her hands up to her face as if she could hide her red cheeks. What was wrong with her? She never blushed these days, though she had done at one time. Jamie had always been able to get under her skin.
She followed him into the kitchen, surprised to see the modern appliances sitting on the benchtop, looking incongruous in the otherwise old-fashioned space. Jamie really had changed from the young man she’d known who would have been happy to make do with something he’d picked up at the tip or in a second-hand shop. It was over thirty years ago, she reminded herself. People changed. She’d changed. She was no longer the happy-go-lucky girl she’d been back then. Life had left its mark on her. It should be no surprise that Jamie had changed too.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said, and when Erica glanced at him, she saw he was fumbling to fill the coffee machine, ‘I’m not quite as able as I expected.’
‘No, I’m sorry. I should have realised. Let me.’ Erica took over the coffee making. ‘How have you been managing?’
‘Mandy has been coming over. Gary’s wife,’ he explained. ‘She’s been a great help, but it’ll be good to be independent again.’
Erica remembered Gill telling her about Gary and Mandy’s wedding, the wedding on the beach she’d been at pains to avoid. ‘I understand,’ she said. She valued her independence too. It was why she had wanted to move out of Joe’s house, to have a place of her own.
Over coffee, which they took out into Jamie’s backyard, Erica was surprised not to feel awkward, even though she was careful to avoid mentioning anything personal or harking back to the past, their past.
She was amazed how quickly the time passed, suddenly discovering she’d have to rush to make it to the book club in time. ‘I’m sorry, I need to go,’ she said. ‘I’ll take the cups in and…’
‘I can do it,’ Jamie said, rising to join her. ‘It’s been good to see you again, to talk properly.’
‘Yes.’ Erica realised it had. She’d enjoyed their conversation, and Jamie had made no attempt to be anything other than a good friend and neighbour.
‘Can we do this again?’ he asked. ‘I sometimes get lonely of an evening, and I suspect you may too. Perhaps we can have a glass of wine together. No strings,’ he added, as Erica’s expression changed to one of caution.
‘Perhaps,’ she said, feeling uncomfortable. She wasn’t sure she was ready to spend more time with Jamie, to drink alcohol with him. She couldn’t dismiss the memory of what Geoff had been like when he’d been drinking. But Jamie wasn’t Geoff, a little voice in her head reminded her.
‘Can I call you?’
‘I guess.’ Erica entered her number into the iPhone Jamie held out. ‘Now, I really must go. Be careful with your hand. It’s still healing, so don’t try anything too strenuous for the rest of the week. It should be fine after that,’ she said, reverting to her nursing role.
‘Aye, aye, nurse,’ Jamie said chuckling.
Erica was chuckling too as she walked back home. Maybe they weren’t so different to what they had been like all those years ago after all.
*
The book club was being held in Gill’s apartment, so Erica felt quite at home when she arrived. But when she walked in to see the group of strangers all staring at her, her first instinct was to flee. Then Gill came forward to greet her, and she saw her new friend, Kate, was one of the group. She relaxed.
‘This is Erica, Joe’s sister,’ Gill said, before introducing the other women to her.
Erica smiled, took her seat and glanced around. Nothing had changed since she spent time here the previous year. Gill’s spartanly furnished apartment was so different from Joe’s comfortable home which had reflected Joe and Barb’s taste, and from Livvy’s cosy cottage. Fleetingly, Erica wondered whose taste would prevail when Gill and Joe set up house together. It would be interesting to see.
Her attention was drawn back to the group, as Gill introduced the book by asking how many had watched the Netflix version. Two women indicated they had, while the others shook their heads, one saying she always liked to read a book first then decide if she wanted to watch the movie.
Saying they’d discuss the film later, Gill started the ball rolling by giving her thoughts on the book, which started with the death of the bridesmaid hours before the wedding. This led to a discussion of other wedding mishaps and disasters before the others gave their views, finishing with Erica, who found there was little left to say. Then the two women who had viewed the Netflix version provided their impressions of it. Although they had enjoyed it, they expressed disappointment at the inevitable changes to the plot and characters, with even the name of one of the main characters being changed.
As the discussion drew to a halt, Gill rose. ‘Time for tea and coffee,’ she said.
‘Can I help?’ Erica rose to join her and they made their way to the kitchen, where Gill had already set out plates of small cakes and a platter of biscuits and cheese.
When Erica returned to the living area carrying a tray of food, the conversation had switched from the book to stories of the women’s own weddings. As she listened, Erica realised hers had been very different. Whereas most had been married in white, in a church with a large audience of friends and family, hers had been a hole-in-the-corner affair in a registry office in Sydney with witnesses drawn in from the office. She was too ashamed to describe it.
Finally, the evening was over, but before they left, it seemed there was one more item on the agenda. ‘We need to choose the book for next month,’ Gill said. ‘I think it’s your turn, Kelly,’ she added, turning to one of the women who had watched the Netflix version of this month’s book, and who Erica had learned was a potter, and one of group of women who owned and managed The Mousehole , a tiny shop she’d admired and promised herself she’d visit.
Everyone stared expectantly at Kelly, while Erica hoped she wouldn’t choose something too literary, but one she could snuggle up with.
‘I’ve chosen the latest by Nicci French, Has Anyone Seen Charlotte Salter? ’ Kelly said. ‘A bit more of a thriller than this one. I think you’ll all enjoy it, and it should give us lots to talk about.’
Erica was pleased. It was a few years since she’d read anything by the husband and wife team who wrote as Nicci French, and she’d always loved their books.
After helping Gill clear up and thanking her for introducing her to the book club, Erica drove home. She’d be glad to get to bed. It had been quite a day. She’d enjoyed the discussion about books, meeting a new group of women… and there had been the encounter with Jamie. She was grateful he hadn’t asked her anything about her marriage, but as she turned into her parking spot, she wondered if she’d been too quick to agree to seeing him again.