Forty-one
Erica was so upset when she left Joe’s that she didn’t go home immediately. Instead, she drove to the bluff on the outskirts of town. There was a car park there which was often used by surfers. It overlooked a long stretch of white sand and today it was deserted. She sat, staring out at the ocean, her eyes filled with tears.
Time passed, a few surfers arrived, their cars breaking the silence of this isolated spot, then peace descended again as they made their way down to the beach. Erica watched as they entered the ocean and paddled out through the waves to surf back in, only to do it all again. Life seemed so simple for them. She remembered when it had been like that for her too. Why did it suddenly seem so hard, so difficult to know what was the right thing to do? She felt she was being pulled in two directions. She could do what Briony wanted or follow Joe’s advice. Both were family and she loved them both.
‘Are you all right?’ Having closed her eyes while she tried to gather her thoughts, Erica opened them with a start to see Rachel standing there peering at her through the open window. She was accompanied by a small white dog which looked exactly like Poppy’s.
Erica opened her mouth to say, ‘I’m fine,’ every woman’s stock answer to that question, but instead she found herself saying, ‘No, not really.’
‘Molly and I have been having a walk. I live just over there.’ She pointed to a large house some distance away. ‘Why don’t you come back with me for coffee or a bite to eat?’
Erica hesitated, then, seeing the concern in Rachel’s eyes, and hearing the little dog give a bark of encouragement, she agreed.
The two women walked along in silence, Molly prancing along beside them, until they reached the house. It was a large family home perched on the top of the bluff, its windows facing the ocean. The thought that it must have amazing views flittered through Erica’s mind as she followed Rachel inside and through to the large family kitchen.
‘I’ll just fill Molly’s bowl, then I planned to have some bread and cheese for a late lunch. Have you eaten?’
‘No, but there’s no need,’ Erica said. But she realised she was hungry. She hadn’t eaten since breakfast, had barely touched the biscuits Gill had served, and it must now be well past her normal lunchtime.
‘Well, I have to fix something for myself anyway, so you may as well join me. Do you prefer tea or coffee?’
‘Tea please.’ It was pleasant to have someone else take charge, without making demands on her or asking questions.
Without any more ado, Rachel took several cheeses out of the fridge, cut slices from a loaf of sourdough bread and set them on a platter along with some grapes and slices of apple. Then she made a pot of peppermint tea, and settled down at the table beside Erica, the little dog positioning herself under Rachel’s chair.
‘Help yourself,’ Rachel said. ‘I’m not going to ask you what brought you all the way up here to sit in your car with your eyes closed, but if you want to talk, I’m happy to listen. I’ve always been told I’m a good listener, I’m not easily shocked and I can keep a secret.’
Erica laughed. She’d only met Rachel briefly before now, but she’d been impressed by the way Gill and her other friends seemed to defer to her. She was a few years older than Erica, than Gill too. Maybe that was why. She wasn’t ready to confide in Rachel but was curious about her. ‘Have you always lived here?’ she asked. ‘It’s a lovely spot, though quite isolated.’
‘That’s what we loved about it.’ Rachel relaxed back in her chair. ‘My husband and I bought it when I was pregnant with Jess, my oldest. Our three children grew up here and it was a wonderful place to bring them up. When they all left, Kirk and I rattled around in it, but we loved it too much to sell. Then…’ her eyes misted over. ‘… Kirk got sick.’ She paused for a moment, gazing into space. ‘When he passed away, I couldn’t leave. There were too many memories. I turned the place into a bed and breakfast. I’m winding that down as I’m now taking care of my granddaughter. She’s having a playdate today with a little friend in town. That’s why she’s not here.’
While Rachel had been talking, Erica had helped herself to a slice of bread topped with cheese and taken a sip of the peppermint tea. Now she said, ‘I’m sorry about your husband.’ It sounded as if, unlike Erica, Rachel had enjoyed a happy marriage, only to have it cut short. ‘How old is your granddaughter?’
‘She’s four. You may think it strange that I’m taking care of a four-year-old. It’s a long story. It wasn’t by choice, but her mother’s dead, my son is currently working overseas, and his lifestyle isn’t compatible with looking after a young child. However, he is planning to come back here to live as soon as he can arrange it.’ She smiled, a secret smile, and Erica wondered if there was another story Rachel wasn’t going to reveal.
‘More tea?’
‘Thanks,’ Erica said, her mind filled with Rachel’s story and the realisation that her companion had had her own cross to bear, yet seemed to have managed to survive and to remain optimistic about life. ‘Don’t you get lonely out here?’ she asked, glancing out the window where all she could see was the distant ocean.
Rachel blushed, as she refilled Erica’s cup. ‘I was for a time after Kirk passed, then I started my B&B, and looked after my twin granddaughters several days a week. They started school at the beginning of this year. Now I have Verity and…’ she blushed again, ‘… when I thought I was finished with love, I met someone I knew when I was in my teens. Luke came back to Pelican Crossing to do a locum for our vet who lives just across there.’ She pointed to the other end of the bluff where Erica could see a roofline. ‘He’ll be moving in with me when Bob, the regular vet, gets back.’
Erica stared at Rachel again, stunned by her revelation, the reference to reuniting with someone Rachel had known in her teens resonating with her. Their stories were completely different. Rachel’s husband had been gone for years before she met this man. But… she felt an affinity with this woman who was practically a stranger to her, so much so she was emboldened to confide in her.
‘So that’s it,’ she finished, when she described meeting Jamie again, the reawakening of their feelings for each other, then Briony’s suggestion it was too soon after Geoff’s death, the knowledge her son wouldn’t approve either, followed by Joe and Gill’s advice. ‘I don’t know what to do.’
‘Oh, my dear. Family can be a blessing and a curse. I’ve been lucky with mine, but a couple of my friends have had challenges with theirs. What do you want to do?’
‘But it’s not just up to me, is it?’ Erica said. ‘Briony and Kieren are important to me, even if I do suspect Kieren’s controlling her… maybe because of that. I’d hate to think anything I do causes problems for her. But I value Joe’s opinion too. He knows me, and he knows Jamie.’
‘What if it was up to you? If Briony had never suggested it was too soon? A ridiculous statement, anyway. How can anyone judge how soon is appropriate for another person? I suspect that if Luke had appeared on the scene shortly after Kirk’s death, I’d have done exactly what I did last year. We have no control over when fate puts someone in our path… or when we fall in love.’
Erica’s stomach churned. She felt shaken by Rachel’s mention of love. Was she falling in love with Jamie? If Briony had never made the suggestion it was too soon, she’d still be seeing Jamie, they’d have got together with Mandy and his grandson as he suggested and… ‘I’d never have stopped seeing him,’ she said.
‘Then you have your answer.’
Molly whined at that point and Rachel rose to let her out, leaving Erica to ponder over her conclusion. Was it that simple?
Erica was still considering Rachel’s words when she returned, leaving Molly outside. ‘I’m sorry but I need to go to fetch Verity. You’re welcome to stay till I get back if you want.’
‘No,’ Erica rose, ‘thanks for the tea and the bread and cheese, and thanks for listening. I’ll consider what you said. It seems you agree with Joe and Gill. I just have to work out what’s best for me.’
‘Of course you do. But I suggest you don’t leave it too long. Men like Jamie don’t grow on trees, and life can get lonely as we grow older.’
Rachel’s words gave Erica an insight into Rachel’s life. Despite her positive outlook, her attempt to paint her life after her husband’s death as full and happy, Erica suspected she’d been lonely too.
Driving home, she remembered she still had Jamie’s blanket, the one he’d taken to the beach. Perhaps she should return it.