Chapter 5
CHAPTER
The fire service was pulling out of Wagtail Ridge.
As Carol drove into the town, she saw movement at the hall, where the RFS teams had gathered as rain doused the fire.
A few of the townsfolk were handing out coffee and sandwiches.
Carol hadn’t planned to stop in town, but she parked her car near the pub, where she’d have a clear view of the activity without being seen herself.
All the firefighters were wearing their distinctive blue and yellow uniforms, but she saw her sons immediately.
They were loading boxes of equipment into the back of a Toyota ute. They worked so easily together. As if they heard each other’s thoughts. It had always been like that. Shared thoughts. Shared emotions. Shared reactions. Two boys speaking with the same voice—for good or bad.
When she’d last seen them together, they were teenagers, staring at her with hurt and anger on their faces.
Now here they were. Grown men. Firefighters helping a community.
Her eyes filled with tears but she brushed them away, not wanting anything to interfere with these precious moments.
The boys seemed taller than all those years ago.
Well—not boys any more. These were grown men, obviously used to hard physical labour.
Their shoulders were broad and they lifted the boxes with ease, laughing together as they did.
That special closeness they’d had was obviously still there.
They probably still finished each other’s sentences.
Carol wondered if they still played board games.
In her mind’s eye, she could see them sitting at the table playing Monopoly or Squatter.
They had played for hours, with neither emerging as a clear winner.
They’d played other games too on the ageing wooden table in their kitchen.
Games that made no sense to her, but kept the boys amused for hours.
Ben had wanted computer games as well, but she hadn’t been able to afford them.
They still looked exactly alike. When they were kids, she’d received so many notes from their school, where they’d driven their teachers mad with their identity games.
Those games had never worked on her. Even when they were babies, she’d never confused them.
Justin had entered the world with a serious look on his face, as if taking his role as the oldest to heart even then.
Ben had entered the world with a smile and remained the trickster ever since.
He was always the one looking for mischief and Justin was always the one getting him out of trouble.
Or had been. While she knew them by sight, and always would, she had no idea of the sort of men they had become.
Although, if they had become firefighters, there had to be good in them.
The departure preparations across the road were complete and the firefighters climbed into their vehicles.
A couple of horns sounded a cheerful farewell as they pulled away from the hall and onto the road that would take them to the New England Highway—and presumably back to their home base, wherever that was.
Carol’s heart pounded. Was she going to lose her sons again?
She could have simply walked across the road and spoken to them.
But she’d left it too late and now they were leaving.
She reached for the door handle anyway, but the vehicles were gathering speed.
Even if they saw her, they wouldn’t stop.
And if they did, what could she say?
How could you have done this? Lied like that? For all these years. I hate you and never want to see you again.
Ben’s words still echoed in her ears. What could she say that would take away the pain and anger of betrayal and a lifetime of lies?
Carol dropped her head onto her hands, which were clutching the steering wheel so tightly the knuckles showed white.
A few long, deep breaths calmed her racing heart, and then she heard voices approaching.
Although she lived a little way out of town, and rarely mixed socially, the people of the Ridge knew her.
The last thing she wanted now was to talk to anyone.
Especially someone who, just a few minutes ago, had been talking to her boys.
‘Carol, how are you?’ Deb from the pub said.
‘Carol, that is you in the video, isn’t it? We all thought it was.’ This from Val, who ran the post office and the town’s gossip grapevine.
Carol was about to start her engine to drive away, when the words hit home. She looked out of the window at the women. ‘What video?’
‘The one on the news,’ Deb said.
‘And Insta. And Facebook. All the social media,’ added Val.
‘I really don’t know what you’re talking about.’
Val pulled her phone out of her pocket. ‘I bookmarked it. It’s the first time someone from the Ridge has been trending.’
Carol had never used social media, so she had no idea what Val was talking about.
But she did recognise the scene unfolding on the phone that Val thrust in front of her.
There she was on that tiny screen, running into the bush to rescue the koala.
The swirling smoke parted long enough for the viewer to see her wrap a blanket around the animal and lift it into her arms. Then another figure ran into shot to help her.
The camera stayed focused on the two of them as Justin helped her to her car and placed the animal inside.
It became a bit wobbly then, as if the person filming was inside a moving car.
The final shot was a close-up of her son as he directed the cars to leave.
‘Someone in one of the cars filmed it on their phone,’ Val offered. ‘It’s gone viral.’
Carol didn’t know what that meant either and she didn’t care. She just wanted to be left alone with that picture of her son.
‘Everyone’s wanting to know who the woman in the video is,’ Val offered.
Carol’s heart sank. The last thing she wanted was for her name to be spread about.
‘But it’s all right,’ the postmistress continued. ‘No one here is going to tell. Unless you want us to.’ She sounded hopeful.
‘No. No. Please. Don’t. I wouldn’t want—’
‘Of course,’ Deb broke in. ‘We won’t say a word. Will we, Val?’
‘No, absolutely not. If you don’t want us to.’
‘Thanks. I’ve got to go. I need to get these to Anna while they are still fresh.’ With a nod of her head, she indicated the eucalyptus boughs filling the back of the car.
‘Sure. See you around.’
Carol pulled away. As she watched the Ridge recede in her rear-view mirror, she wondered how she might get a copy of that video.
She had a computer, but she was no expert.
She’d try tonight. She wanted that video so much.
The last photo she had of Justin and Ben was a school photo taken when they were almost seventeen.
A few weeks before they applied for their learners’ permits.
A few weeks before her world fell apart.
***
By the time she pulled up at the vet clinic, Carol had her emotions a little more under control.
She was glad she’d seen her boys, but nothing would come of it.
Ben had made his feelings very clear all those years ago, and while Justin hadn’t been quite that angry and unforgiving, he had chosen his brother over her, as he always had and always would.
They were gone now, and she had no more idea how to contact them than she’d had for the past few years.
It was done. But she would find that video.
At least she would have that. And maybe one day, when there was another fire …
She parked beside the small wildlife hospital and opened the tailgate of her car to reveal the eucalyptus branches filling the back. Their scent was powerful and an enjoyable reminder of her work. She started pulling them from the car onto the ground, already almost dry after last night’s rain.
The door to the main clinic behind her opened and Anna came out. ‘Hi, Carol.’
‘Hi, Anna. I’ve been leaf picking.’ It was an understated description of a morning spent scouring the unburnt hillsides, looking for the correct type of trees, then pulling away small branches of fresh young leaves in order to feed the injured animals she’d left at Anna’s clinic.
‘Good timing. I was just going out.’
The two women each gathered an armful of eucalypt and carried it through to the clinic.
‘How are they doing?’ Carol had brought in three koalas and one wombat.
‘They’re all doing fine.’ Anna added her load to the pile on a side bench.
Carol started sorting through the branches.
She placed a couple of branches in the nearest enclosure.
‘Here you go,’ she told the occupant. ‘This will help get you back on your feet.’ The slow-moving koala pulled one of the branches closer and began nibbling.
Carol smiled. This was the koala on the video. ‘She looks good.’
‘She does. Most of the damage was to her fur. Her skin isn’t too bad at all. I should be able to give her back to you early next week.’
‘I’ll keep my eyes open for a good place to release her.
’ Carol wouldn’t return the animal to her previous home.
There was nothing there now but ashes and charred tree trunks.
The area would grow back and the wildlife would return, but not for a while.
In the meantime, the koala needed a safe place to live, a place with plenty of food.
‘By the way, Carol, one of the firefighters came here looking for you.’
Carol froze. ‘Looking for me?’
‘Yes. It was your son. Justin.’
Carol struggled to find the right way to reply. Hope flared inside her like a burst of sunlight, but she was afraid to grasp it. She busied herself sorting branches, her face carefully turned away from Anna. ‘What … did he say what he wanted?’
‘To see you. He seemed like a really nice guy.’
Carol heard a hesitation in Anna’s voice, but was too shaky herself to try to figure out what it meant.
‘I didn’t like to give him your phone number without checking with you first, so he gave me his card and asked me to give it to you. I hope that’s all right. Hang on.’ Anna opened a drawer on a nearby desk and fished around inside. ‘Ah. Here it is.’
Carol took the offered card. Almost fearfully, she looked down at the text. Justin Turner. That’s what it said in clear black text, right next to the red and green RFS logo and a phone number.
‘His mobile number is written on the back.’
Carol murmured her thanks, as the hand holding the card started to shake.
‘Are you all right?’ Anna placed a solicitous hand on her arm. ‘You said the other day that you had been estranged from your sons.’
‘I have. For a long time …’ Carol’s voice trailed off as she continued to stare at the card in her hand. ‘But maybe …’
‘That would be a good thing. Wouldn’t it?’
‘Oh, yes. A very good thing.’ Carol looked up at Anna. ‘Thank you. I’ll … I’ll get in touch with him.’
Anna nodded and smiled. ‘Good. Now, I’ve got a call. I’d better get moving. Thanks for the leaf. It should keep them going for a few days. You’ll let yourself out.’
Carol released a pent-up breath as the clinic door closed behind Anna. She stepped back to lean against a bench, hoping the solid timber would give her the stability that had suddenly been whisked away from her.
Justin wanted to get in touch with her. But what about Ben?
Did the younger twin even know she and Justin had met?
He must have seen the video on the news or social media.
She couldn’t imagine Justin would keep her identity a secret from his brother.
They had never had secrets from each other.
From her, yes. Always. But never from each other.
All she had to do was call this number.
She could see her boys again. Talk to them. Apologise again, and tell them again that she loved them and always had. But would they listen?
Carol pushed herself away from her support and put the card into the pocket of her jeans as she walked back to her car.